Chapter 3

''trigger warning - eating disorder, slight mention of self harm.''

John P.O.V.

"Alexander?"It was him. It was Alexander Hamilton, the man who for the past five hours, has occupied my thoughts. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Alex clear his throat. "Um, so. How are you? How was work?" Oh right. Work. That's why I didn't walk here with him. I smiled, still in shock."Yeah um, yeah work was good. I'm good. Thanks for asking." He smiled and let out a small laugh."Well, that's good. Yeah I um, I'm glad you're doing okay. Seems like we will be seeing a lot more of each other than expected."I laughed at this, recalling the whole day.

Alex P.O.V.

John Laurens. He was my roommate. First, the subway car. Then, the music. Followed by college and major. Topped off with the stop we were getting off at. And now. Laughing was all my body could do at this point. This was a lot to process. "Well, I'm glad you're doing okay. Seems like we will be seeing a lot more of each other than expected."John laughed at this. Did I say something wrong? I tried shaking it off, but I was curious. He is just so interesting. Also, I could  John walked over to his bed, still smiling to himself. God. That smile. I could feel the words in my mind disappear. John had rendered me speechless. He had been one of the first people to ever do that. And now he was my roommate. This was going to be a very long year.

John P.O.V.

The silence was heavy and getting a little uncomfortable. I looked over and noticed that Alex was deep in thought. I noticed his laptop on the bed in front of him. I saw that he had written many, many words. I was too far away to see what they said. With that, I realized that I was still standing in front of the door. Slowly, I walked back over to my bed, smiling. I was still trying to process this all. I hope Alex doesn't think that I am acting strange. Normally, if I met someone on and then saw them again later that day, and everyday after that, I wouldn't be nearly as shocked. But this was Alex. The man who occupied my thoughts all day, was now living with me. I hope that whole little conversation wasn't too awkward. I sat down on my bed and plugged in my phone. Three new messages from Hercules. Two from Laf. I decided to ignore it, and not reply. I wasn't too sure how I would tell them about Alex.

Alex P.O.V.

Wow. That was a little awkward. I hope I didn't scare John. God. I was really good at pushing people out. Maybe I had just ruined my chance of ever being John's friend. He probably had so many friends already. He didn't need me. No one really ever did. It was a reoccurring theme in my life, unfortunately. I just felt so close to John, and I had only met him a few hours ago. Now, we would be living together for the next year. I needed air. I got up and put on my old, worn out sneakers, shut my laptop, and grabbed my phone. "I think I am going to go out for a while. You know, explore campus, get some fresh air, maybe get something to eat." Thinking of this, I grabbed my wallet that had a ten dollar bill in it, and shoved it into my pocket. I was actually starting to get hungry. All I had eaten toady was that pretzel this morning. I looked back at John, waiting for a response. He looked hurt. Omg. I did it. I scared him. I made him feel bad. I'm just abandoning him. I felt a wave of guilt rush through me. "Did you want something to eat. You know,  while I'm out? I can bring you back something," I asked, trying to hide my urgency to leave the dorm. "Umm, food. No. I'm good. Don't worry about me. I will be fine." He seemed kind of thrown off by me asking. I shook it off, and headed for the door. "Bye Alex." I turned and smiled. "I'll be back my friend." I could have sworn I saw him blush before I shut the door. 

John P.O.V.

I was really hungry at this point. As soon as Alex mentioned food, my brain remembered that I was lacking it. I got up and moved toward the fridge. I had gone grocery shopping the day I got here, mostly for my roommate, when he arrived. But, I did pick up a few small things for myself like apples, oatmeal, and eggs. I opened the fridge and grabbed an apple. I shut the door and just stared at the fruit in my hand. Should I? The growls coming from my stomach were begging for me to eat the apple. As soon as I took a bite, my body felt relieved. The only things I had eaten in the past two days were a bowl of oatmeal and a bag of chips. The oatmeal,  I kept in my body. But I got rid of the chips almost immediately after ingesting them. I sat down at the couch and ate the apple. It was gone faster than expected. I felt sick. I had eaten that apple so fast. I'm a pig. I don't deserve this. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could, leaving the door open. I flipped open the toilet lid. I removed the hair tie off of my wrist, and tied back my curly hair. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. I was hunched over the toilet, ready to get rid of the apple, when I heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom.

Alex...

Alex P.O.V.

I walked back into the dorm, not seeing John. I saw the bathroom light on, and the door open. I made my way over to it. When I got to the door and looked inside, I was confused at first. Then it hit me. 

"J-John? What are you doing?!" 

Seeing him hunched over the toilet like that made me see just how skinny he actually was. I looked at his face and saw a look of sadness and embarrassment. I didn't like it. He looked too, drained and just... "not John". How would I know, though? I met John less than 9 hours ago, and had only seen him for about 2 of them. I didn't know how to help him. He looked so alone. Just then, I noticed tears forming in his eyes. I put my phone down on the bathroom counter, and sat next to John.

"I'm s-sorry Alex." He was shaking. "I-I didn't mean t-to. I-I'm sorry." I wrapped my arm around his shoulders as he let out tears. He buried his face into my chest. "I-I I really just. I'm just so sorry." He was full on sobbing now. Seeing him like this, the John Laurens who's smile captivated every inch of me, made me angry. Angry at the world for hurting John, causing him to do this. At him for hurting himself. At me for leaving him alone, letting this happen.

"Just promise me you will stop. Please." I felt tears starting to form in my own eyes. I squeezed him even tighter, and wrapped my other arm around his chest, hugging his too skinny figure. I could feel him nod into my chest. I knew it wasn't that easy to stop doing something like this, trust me. You couldn't just nod into a strangers chest and *poof* stop hurting yourself. But I made a promise to myself that night while I sat holding a crying John Laurens. I promised to myself that I was going to keep him safe.

(A/N - This chapter made me sad to write, but I have had the idea of it all day and I am so happy that I could share it with you guys. Also, I am probably going to upload every day, maybe even twice a day, for a while. I have so many ideas for this fanfiction and I am just super eager to share them with you. Have a great night/day!!!)