Come Back Home

(Feyre P.O.V.)

He had left early morning, even before I had woken up. When I did, the space beside me was empty, sheets crumpled and cold. I gritted my teeth and made to get out of bed when I noticed something had fallen out of my nightgown. It was a sheet of paper and I recognized the smooth, elegant writing before even picking it up. He had written:

Sorry to be gone so early. I'll be back soon. Promise. I should've woken you, I know, but I didn't want to disturb you. You looked so peaceful lying there so I decided to just go. Don't try and contact me through the bond - I fear there may be other daemati here. Have a good day. Love you. 

He hadn't even signed off. That was weird. But I guess he didn't need to. I knew his writing. And who else would hide a piece of paper in someone's robe? It was obviously Rhys. I put the paper to one side and got out of bed. I showered, dressed and then went down for breakfast. It was unusually quiet. I guessed Cassian and Azriel were off with Rhys, wherever he was. Elain and Nesta were probably in the library or maybe the garden. Amren, she was always in her apartment doing God knows what. I had no clue where Mor was. She was everywhere, that girl. Always happy and cheerful, even when she was coping with some of the most horrible things in her life. I felt closer to her, much more than ever now. After what she had told me during those weeks of war. 

I missed Rhys. I know he had only just gone and I had been sleeping anyway but there was some fear that came over me when I woke to an empty bed. It took me back to the horrors of The Spring Court. A comforting stroke down the bond. I smiled to myself, internally thanking Rhys for understanding. 

Someone caught my attention out of the window. Elain. She was sitting, alone, in the garden, staring at nothing. She was much better than before; had learnt to accept her Fae body and she at least left her room and talked to people. But there was still something missing from her. There was still that small hint of sadness lingering in her. I wanted to make it go away. I wanted to be the one to help her, but it would never be me. I thought that there could only be one thing she was missing in her life. Love. Azriel was perfect for her and she was perfect for him and yet, neither of them made their move. Surely they knew the other liked them..... but it was not my business. As Rhys had politely phrased to me before. And I knew it was true. I  sighed, wishing there was something more I could do.

Then it hit me. I couldn't do anything to change the way she felt about Azriel but as her sister, the least I could do was offer her some company. As I got up to go to Elain, I wondered about inviting Nesta too but thought against it in the end. She was my sister but she was difficult. And I knew she'd never agree to a stroll through Velaris. At least not with me. I cleared those thoughts out of my head and went to fetch Elain. 

It was so peaceful and quiet outside that I understood why Elain just wanted to be out here. But she needed a walk. A social life. I came up behind her and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. She barely turned to look at me. 

"Elain, do you want to go someplace in Velaris? We could go shopping or go and eat out somewhere or we could just go for a walk. It's up to you. But please come, " I said, trying to speak as kindly as I could.

She seemed to be contemplating it and then asked, "Will it just be us two?" 

"Yeah."

She nodded and then said, "OK."

Elain slowly got out of her seat, looking down at her attire. "Is it fine?"

"Oh yeah, sure. It's only Velaris, anyway," I spoke more gently now, "And it is your home. So whatever you wear is up to you."

Elain's eyes shuttered when I told her The Night Court was her home as if she wanted to argue otherwise, but she didn't. She just stayed silent and gestured for me to lead the way. 

~

We sat there in silence, just watching people on their way in the busy streets. Some, when they saw me, smiled or bowed. I smiled in return, wishing them well on their way. 

I couldn't bear this - the silence. I was just about to turn to Elain to make an attempt at some conversation, when I felt a slash of pain through the bond. I bent over, gasping and clutching my heart, as if I had been hurt too. But I wasn't. It was Rhys. 

Elain looked at me in alarm, then around at everyone before leaning in and putting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay? What happened?" She sounded genuinely concerned and that cracked something in me. All these years, I had wondered whether I was just another burden upon my family and now for my sister to actually show she cared, it meant so much. 

I straightened up. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just felt some pain down mine and Rhys's bond. He's hurt."

Her brown eyes were still wide with shock. "You're sure you're okay, though?"

"Yeah, yeah. Actually, I should get back to the House - he might be back."

After a few minutes of silence, Elain turned to me again, her eyes filled with curiosity and maybe just a little bit of wonder. It was the most alive I'd seen her for a long time. "How does a mating bond work?"

I struggled for words, my mind only filled with panic because Rhys wasn't fine. "I- It's something hidden so deep within you that it feels like a part of you. You can communicate with the other person and see everything they're thinking and feeling. They feel like a part of you and when they're hurt, it feels like you've been hurt yourself."

"And when they die?" Elain whispered.

"When your mate dies, it feels like your soul is being torn apart. Not just because you loved them, but because that bond..... That bond is no longer there. It feels like your body's lacking something. Like a limb has been torn off or something. I only know because," I took a deep breath. Remembering those moments without him, it was hard to even think about. But before I could go on, Elain put her hand on my arm. 

"It's Okay, I know."

I shook my arm out of her grasp. "No." I would tell her, because she needed to know. She was in the same position as me. She had a mate, and she needed to know what it felt like. "Those moments were the most loneliest I've ever felt. When it happened, I was filled with silence. Everything around me wasn't there anymore. My soul felt as if it had been torn apart. And yet, somehow he came back. And I'm so lucky to have him. To have him back. And I'm telling you because you have a mate. You may not like him and you don't have to. But at least tell him that. So he knows. So that he doesn't keep hoping that you'll one day return the feeling. Do him some justice, Elain. Otherwise he'll be living with that pain and longing and loneliness and guilt within him forever." I kept my tone soothing; calm. Raging at her wouldn't help either of us. 

I felt it again. A wince down the bond. "I think Rhys's back. Shall we go?"

Elain, who had just been sitting there as if mulling over everything I had just said, snapped her head back up to reality. "Oh, of course."

I offered my hand to help her up. She just stared at it for a few seconds, and then at me. If it were Nesta, she would've turned her nose up at the idea and sniped back some rude comment before getting up and swiftly moving on. I hated myself for thinking so negatively of her, but it was the truth. As wretched as it was. But thankfully Elain closed her fingers around mine before giving me a small smile. And that moment, I just wanted to hug her and tell her how much she meant to me, but something inside me stopped me. I didn't know why I couldn't handle emotions, and with my sisters as well. But there would always be something holding me back and them too, I realized. After all those gloomy and miserable years of living in that cottage, starving; never talking to one another, we had missed out on something. Something key. But that had happened. It could not be changed. 

I shook my head, and began to lead the way back home when Elain stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I turned back to her, "What is it?"

"I'll tell him."

I knew what she meant. And for her to have the courage to do something like that, she was definitely improving. I was about to turn away when Elain spoke again.

"And, Feyre?"

"Yes."

She looked at me for a moment and there was real gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thank you." 

Next part is gonna have Rhys..... Yes! Thanks to all who read and please comment down below what you thought. Peace out!! ✌️😜 

Rhysand (Haha Lol no.) 

Ayesha