𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟓𝟏

CHAPTER FIFTY ONE one last hurrah(contains smut)

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FOR THE ENTIRETY of nearly a whole minute, my eyes remained set on Rafe's, analysing his dormancy in anticipation for a reaction to my words. If I was to take the easy route, I would've told him I loved him as his confession was vocalised. Clearly, my plans were steered away from that road, and I'd grasped the opportunity for him to prove his feelings the moment it appeared.

The beginning of our love was founded on tension, and what better way to mark the end than to revisit that?

His path of focus trailed along my body, eyeing me zealously while my attempts to urge out a reaction continued. I curled my fingers under the straps of my top, toying with the strip of silk and teasing him by pulling one down past my shoulder. As an immediate response to the act, Rafe cupped either side of my face and hungrily crashed our lips together, feeding into the rhythm of the kiss like he'd never tasted sin before.

I brought my hands up to his hair, angling his face downwards so he completely towered over me. Butterflies overtook my stomach in memory of the first time we gave ourselves to one another, everything feeling heightened as a result of love now being a playing factor. His hold travelled down the curves of my body, meeting the skin under my skirt and lifting me off the ground. I swiftly swung my legs around his torso, permitting him to set me down on the nearest surface.

Rafe wasted no time in discarding my underwear, making up for the moments wasted earlier with hints of desperate nature. I placed whatever attention wasn't spent on our kiss onto his belt, blinding trying to undo the buckle as his fingers brushed the inner part of my thigh. Noticing my rushed actions, he tore my hand away and stuck it back to my side, his dismission posing as a contrast to his continuing moves.

"Not yet," he broke our lips apart, "let me focus on you first."

Before I even had the chance to process what he said, Rafe knelt down and positioned his head between my thighs, parting them with one hand whilst the other hitched my skirt up. I watched breathlessly as he taunted my skin with short pecks, his eyes meeting mine at the exact moment he met my centre.

My head knocked back against the mirror behind me, overpowered by the wave of heat that swallowed my body whole. The breaths I was failing to catch made my chest rise rapidly, encouraged by my increasing heart rate that was bound to cause a flatline sometime soon. All of my senses were amplified because of how Rafe was making me feel, and to say it was good would've been a hell of an understatement.

I draped my legs over his shoulders, using any strength in me to keep me from tightening my thighs together. For a split second, I glanced back down at Rafe, his dilated pupils possessing a look of lustful hunger. Admiring the powerless state he put me in, his lips curved into a devil's grin, the sight of him smirking against my skin being one I couldn't take any longer.

Screwing my eyes shut, the only thing I had the ability to fixate on was reaching my high, helping myself to do so by keeping Rafe in position with my hands. I tangled my fingers through his hair, strengthening my grasp the moment I felt his fingers begin to accompany the work of his tongue.

A stifled moan fell from between my lips, the sound progressing into a sequence the longer I failed to keep my composure. Thankfully, I imagined that the music from downstairs muffled any noise that came from me- though it wasn't like I had any care or consideration for others at that time.

All I had the desire to care for was reaching my orgasm, unaware that I'd reach my peak sooner than I'd hoped for.

His name repeatedly left my lips like the only prayer I'd ever say, increasing in volume as I rode out my high. I mustered up the will to look at Rafe again, this time copying the exact expression he had. In a cyclical manner, he kissed my inner thigh again before reaching up to my lips, retreating to let me catch the last of my composure.

"Was that okay for you?" he asked, a contradiction to the proud smirk that flaunted all awareness he had for how he made me feel.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I laughed breathily, "It was more than okay."

"I'm not done yet." he confirmed, moving my hair to one side and nipping at the skin of my neck, "I need you to be comfortable with me doing anything. If you trust me, you'll let me prove myself. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you, Rafe. Please just make sure to pull out." I pleaded.

"I've got a condom, do you not wanna—"

I shook my head in response to his insinuation, more desperate to feel all of him than to use protection. However irresponsible it may have been, I trusted him like I'd said, and frankly valued my enjoyment over being safe.

The best things come with risk attached.

Realising my legs were still crossed around his torso, Rafe set me back down to the ground with ease, kissing me for a prolonged moment until he spun me around. His actions were lawless and unbridled, pressing me flat to the counter with undertones of passion-fuelled violence. The newfound chaos brought a masochistic sense of excitement in me, bringing out higher levels of intensity to our pre-existing attraction.

Placing the palms of my hands to the granite countertop, I raised myself more comfortably on the surface, waiting for a brief second as Rafe finished unbuckling his belt. Instead of removing the material from my lower body completely, he pulled my skirt up past my hips, giving him full access to mark my skin as his own. I could feel his hand burn a print into my ass, immediately followed by a moan on my part.

All of my strength was close to giving out as he thrusted into me for the first time, both of us gasping at the sudden feeling.

"Fuck." we cursed in sync, the profanities progressing once he began to feed his movements into cadency.

His hand reached up to my lower back, scrapping any elevation I had and pressing my chest flat. He moved his grip onto both of my wrists, restraining them and eliminating any chance of control I could've reached for. Another thing we both had in common was our need for dominance, and it was clear that he was determined to gain full power this time around.

"You feel so good, holy shit." he exhaled, keeping the constant rhythm of his hips.

I cried out in pleasure as he struck my skin again, unable to restrict the sounds that came from my lips. Violence was something both of us were known to enjoy, and now the addition of that to sex was obviously something that was postponed for too long. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, my vision turning black as I struggled to hinder my second orgasm.

"Pass me your hand." I reached out, barely able to form a sentence amidst my quickened breaths.

Regardless of his desire to have me entirely submitted to him, Rafe placed his hand into mine as per my request. I arched my back up slightly, hoisting myself up to be in view of the mirror in front of us. Extending his arm out, I brought his fingers to my neck, fixing them into a position where pressure was applied but breathing was still manageable.

Consequently, we looked into our reflections at the same time, admiring our bodies in their continuing movement. He kept his hand steady on my neck, pressing just under my jaw and making my head knock back from pleasure.

It was far too obvious that we were both reaching our limit, persevering with any last strength to keep it going for as long as we could. There wasn't a single thing I could focus on other than how good I felt, all as a result of Rafe.

"I fucking love you." I confessed, the phrase swiftly being followed by another bordering scream.

"I fucking love you too." Rafe replied.

Our exchange of words was the last thing he needed to reignite durability. His thrusts sped up for the last time, causing me to fall back onto the counter as the wave of euphoria overtook my body. Slipping out from under my jaw, his hand clasped around my mouth, the entrance of his thumb between my lips suppressing any future moan.

My hearing faded out for an extended second, the only sound being heard was the exaggerated thumps of my heartbeat. I gripped onto the edge of the counter, attempting to keep myself on my feet amidst my shaking legs.

"Did you pull out?" I turned my head in Rafe's direction, speaking the second he freed my mouth.

"Mhm," he hummed breathlessly, "let me just clean up."

Without entirely processing his statement, I felt the coarseness of a tissue graze my lower back, every touch being amped up due to my orgasm. Realising that I was anything but capable of moving, Rafe pulled my skirt back past my hips, leaving it to reach my mid thigh as before. I kept my hand out in hopes that he'd give me back my underwear, met in return with a chuckle of amusement.

"What's funny?" I asked whilst his laughter continued.

"You're not getting them back." he tucked the fabric into his jeans.

"Rafe, don't."

He placed his hands onto my waist, smirking at the reflection of my unimpressed face in the mirror, "What? You wanted to act like a whore all night, so now I'll treat you like one. You've had your fun, now's the time for mine."

"I'm serious." I tilted my head, hinting at a small smile of defeat.

"So am I. Have fun acting normal around Ty like you weren't just bent over this counter for me. C'mon, people are gonna wonder where I went, we're not spending any more time here." he took my hand into his, preparing us to exit the bathroom.

"And, what, they're not gonna wonder why there's a piece of lace sticking out your back pocket?" I joked.

"I'm happy to let that asshole know what's mine and not his." he said with pride, obviously hinting that he was still jealous despite everything that had happened since.

Looking past my objections, Rafe gathered our stuff from the bathroom and led us back into the swarm of people. His walking speed was inconsiderate for my struggle of following him, my legs carrying me barely as I knew they'd give out at any moment. For balance, I clutched onto his arm, playing it off to seem like I was performing an act of romance and affection.

If walking in a straight line was enough of a challenge with tequila and Rafe now in my system, making it down the frat house stairs in one piece should've been considered an olympic sport.

To my surprise, we reached his group of friends without me breaking a limb, having to plaster on a palpable smile to the new faces. As if he was some form of royalty, his frat bros cheered at his reappearance, giving him the ego boost I knew he enjoyed more than he'd be willing to admit.

A red solo cup was hurried into his hands, allowing him to take a sip of the alcohol and leaving the remainder to me- fulfilling my subconscious need for being even more drunk. I couldn't make out the drink from the first few tastes, but identified it to be coke and hennessy from the girl who'd mouthed the name to me once she noticed my confusion.

Her beaming smile and effortless aura was something I admired the longer I stared in her direction, the presence she exhorted being a quick explanation to the flock of people surrounding her. From just a silent glance, I painted her out to be the type of girl who had everyone falling at her feet, charmed by her natural beauty.

"Rafe, who's this doll you brought with you?" her voice was smooth and rich, matching her appearance perfectly.

"Zara, this is Camille, my girlfriend." he nudged the arm that was connected to mine, the introduction he used turning my fake smile into a real one.

"You're really pretty." I blurted out.

She laughed humbly, "That's sweet. I see why Ty hasn't shut up about you. He's convinced himself there's no competition, but I told him that Rafe doesn't give up easily. Is that right, Ty?"

Both mine and Rafe's eyes darted to the boy sitting opposite Zara, his narcissistic smirk from earlier fading into a scowl. The rest of the group continued laughing at the exchange of looks, soon gesturing for us to occupy the last space on the couch. I kept my arm tightly wrapped to his, knowing there was a right for me to mark my territory to anyone I could.

Situating myself onto Rafe's lap, I tuned into the ongoing conversation, scrounging for understanding of the strangers' words. No matter how hard I tried, their speech was alienated to my brain, my lips attaching themselves to the plastic cup in defeat. Even with our relationship now out in the open, I was always bound to stick out from my boyfriend's crowd; we were separate people after all, our solitary days together only existing as some sort of a fictional paradise.

"Oh, Rafe, you'll never guess who decided to show his face tonight." Zara switched the topic presumably for my benefit, though I doubt my company was that much of an outstanding factor to them.

"Good or bad?" he chuckled, resting his hand on my thigh in soundless reassurance.

"Guess." she grinned, flashing her pearl-white teeth in the direction of another guy in the group.

"Well, now I know it's bad. Nothing good happens when y'all are involved." he pointed between the pair, urging out a series of laughter from his friends.

"It was your cousin, and he's followed in your footsteps and brought some fresh meat to the frat. The girl's hot, I'll give him that." the boy spoke up.

As an instant reaction, Rafe and I snapped our heads in each other's direction, looks of concern and fury coming over our faces at once. Despite not having full grasp of the discussion, the word 'cousin' when associated with the Camerons could only lead me to one person, and an unpleasant one at that.

"Noah?" he retorted in disgust.

The hardest attempts at burying his name 6 feet under in my mind proved to be useless. For someone who was used to hiding emotions, every single one seemed to overpower me as Noah's existence was brought to my attention. Thinking I'd escaped from my past unscathed, the thought of him came back for one last battle, a gut feeling telling me that he'd go down with more of a fight than the first time.

"Didn't he get into Dartmouth?" someone from the opposite couch chimed in, "Why's he in Chapel Hill?"

The brunette boy from earlier had a sense of guilt about him, "Uh, I may have invited him."

"What the fuck, Conrad?" Rafe's volume was close to a shout, taking his hand off my thigh.

"What? The 3 of us used to be close in high school, I don't get what the big deal is." Conrad shrugged, pleading his innocence.

"You were close to him," he corrected, "I've never fucking liked him."

"Alright, chill." Zara intervened, "He's probably busy, it's not like you're gonna run into him."

By the cruelest coincidence of timing, the same person that'd caused the heated atmosphere showed his face from among the crowd of the party, flaunting the venomous smirk I thought I'd have the luck to never have to face again. He whispered something to the body beside him before dragging her towards us, revealing her to be another well-known face to me and Rafe.

Evil has a way of attracting evil, proven solely by Noah and Amelia standing side by side.

I wanted nothing more in that moment but for the ground to swallow me whole. To become a prisoner of darkness, never seeing the light of day again for the benefit of erasing the sight ahead of me. A night that began with the relieving proclamation of mine and Rafe's love was scrapped with the 2 people who were most determined to tear us apart, returning as an end to our short lived peace.

"Rafe, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I whispered, loud enough for my voice not to be lost in the constantly playing music.

"Wish I wasn't." he replied, confirming my nightmare to be an unfortunate reality.

"Well, well, well." Noah taunted, "If it isn't my beloved cousin and his fucktoy. You 2 still going strong?"

"Amelia, long time no see!" I broke my silence, throwing on a conniving expression to mask my true feelings, "Back for another round already?"

"Wait, you all know each other?" Zara paused our interactions.

"We have quite the history. Wouldn't you say, Mills?" Amelia bit back with bitterness.

I scoffed, "She's grown a huge pair of balls for the miserable cunt that she is."

The people around us let out a variety of exclamations, arguably enjoying the intensity more than those involved. I locked my fingers with Rafe's out of routine, needing his touch to keep the building fire in me manageable.

"At least I don't drown out my misery with liquor. By the way, has anyone been counting how many drinks she's had tonight? Poor baby might get liver failure." she cooed sarcastically.

"You're really begging for that rematch, huh. Wonder what other bone of yours I can break." I nearly launched up from Rafe's lap, restricted by his arm keeping me in place.

"Cami." he said from beneath me.

I kept my sight set straight on Amelia, ready to jolt towards her once the opportunity presented itself. My rage at seeing the pair intertwined with each other made my blood boil, the heat that rushed through my body making my skin feel as if it was set alight. Darkness was prepared to possess me, not taking mercy into account and not stopping until I could see them both suffer like they deserved to.

Her and Noah broke eye contact from me, moving their attention onto the phone in his hand with wide eyes. Everyone seemed to catch onto their sudden change of attitude, curious as to what drastic factor was displayed on the screen.

"Cami, look at me." Rafe repeated, this time rewarded with my obedience.

"Guys, check the news." Amelia's nasally voice was toned with panic, "Check the fucking news!"

Before Rafe had the chance to explain himself, my vision latched onto the light of the phone screen he held out in front of me. My heart stopped as I obsessively reread the article, checking over and over again to ensure I was reading the right thing. Be it from the headline or the alcohol in my system, I felt entirely sick to my stomach, my breathing shallow and not a hint of emotion left in me.

The Kildare County Sheriff's murderer has officially been identified as 18-year old Camille Fox. A reward of 25,000$ is to be granted to anyone who turns her into police custody, dead or alive.

More than ever, I wanted to be dead at that moment.

Dead or alive, I read over the last sentence again.

Dead or alive.

Dead, or alive.

I'd gone from having the death of another person on my hands to wielding my very own life or death situation in a matter of a few words. Just seconds before, I'd even considered threatening another life, blind in the rage I'd grown to believe was normal. There was nothing normal about me anymore, and nothing normal with the label that'd now been stuck on me.

I was no longer human; I was a murderer with a name that held no other substance when overtaken by my actions.

Where the hell has love taken me?