This baby was mine

Mallory

Of course I was gonna keep the baby. If mammy had done what uncle Dar and dad's mam suggested, AJ wouldn't be here. Neither would I.

I couldn't kill my baby. But if Kian knew that, he'd wanna get back together, and I couldn't put my problems on him.

This baby was my problem.

If Mam found out, she'd kill me.

If da found out, he'd kill Kian.

I had no choice but to do this alone.

If Kian knew the truth, he'd never let me go through this by myself. He'd drop everything-school, work, his entire life-just to be there for me. And I couldn't let him.

I wouldn't let him.

So I lied.

I told him I couldn't keep it. That I'd already made up my mind. And the look on his face-the pure heartbreak-nearly made me break right then and there.

But I couldn't.

Because if Mam found out, she'd never forgive me. She'd say I ruined my life, that I'd made the same mistake she did. That I was throwing away everything for a boy from Elk's Terrace.

And if Da found out?

He'd kill Kian.

No, I had to keep this to myself.

I pressed my hand against my stomach, swallowing the lump in my throat.

I was going to have this baby.

And no one could know.

But of course they'd find out eventually.

Mammy would see I'd start showing. Da would notice too. And AJ would point it out in the worst way, shout it from the fucking rooftops that his little sister had a bun in the oven.

But that was a problem for later.

Right now, I just had to keep it together. Hide the morning sickness, wear baggy clothes, act normal. If I could get through the next few months without anyone catching on, maybe-just maybe-I'd figure out what the hell I was going to do.

Still, the thought of Mam's face when she found out made my stomach twist. The disappointment, the anger. I'd heard it a million times growing up-how she never wanted me to end up like her.

And Da?

I wasn't stupid. He'd lose his shit. Kian would be first in the firing line, and knowing my father, it wouldn't just be words.

I let out a slow breath, resting a hand on my stomach again.

This baby was mine.

And for as long as I could manage, I was going to keep it a secret.