I can't keep it

Kian

Her words hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest.

Pregnant.

Mallory was pregnant.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My mind was racing, my heart pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears.

She was pregnant. With my baby.

"Say something," she whispered, her voice so small, so unlike her.

I forced myself to breathe, to think, to process what she'd just said. But how the fuck was I supposed to do that?

Two months. Two months she'd known, and she hadn't told me.

I ran a hand through my hair, my fingers shaking. "How-how far along are ya?"

She swallowed hard. "Three months."

I inhaled sharply. "Three months? And you're just telling me now?"

She flinched, looking away.

"Jesus Christ, Mal." I took a step back, rubbing at my jaw. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her arms wrapped around herself, like she was trying to hold herself together. "I-I didn't know how," she admitted. "And I didn't want to-I just-" She shook her head, looking up at me with glassy eyes. "I didn't want this to happen, Kian."

Something inside me twisted painfully.

"You think I did?" My voice was rough, raw. "You think this was part of some plan?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what the fuck do you mean, Mallory?"

Her breath hitched, and she looked away. "I can't do this," she whispered.

I felt like the floor had just been ripped out from under me.

"Can't do what?" My voice was quieter now, more careful.

"This." She gestured between us. "I can't have a baby. I can't-" She shook her head. "I'm not ready for this, Kian."

My throat tightened. "So what are you saying?"

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she exhaled shakily. "I'm saying I'm not keeping it."

"What..? Why? M-mal J'd be there if you let me..I'll drop out and work full time with your da. save up to get us a place-"

Mallory shook her head furiously, her tears falling faster. "Kian, no. You can't do that. You can't ruin your life for me."

"Ruin my life?" I stared at her, my chest tightening. "Mal, this is our baby. You think I'd just leave you to deal with this alone?"

Her arms wrapped around herself, like she was trying to physically hold herself together. "I don't want this, Kian," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I can't do this."

I swallowed hard, shaking my head. "We can figure it out. I'll talk to Joey, I'll work full-time-fuck, I'll do whatever it takes, Mal."

She turned away, wiping at her face. "It's not just about money, Kian."

"Then what is it?" I stepped closer, desperate. "Tell me what you need, baby. I'll do it. Anything. Just-" I exhaled shakily. "Just don't shut me out."

She turned back to me, her green eyes filled with so much pain it made my stomach twist. "I'm not ready to be a mother, Kian," she whispered. "I can't be my mam. I can't do what she did."

I felt like the air had been knocked out of me.

She was scared.

Not just of having a baby, but of becoming her mam.

I reached for her hands, gripping them tightly. "Mal, you're not your mam. You're you. And if you let me, I'll be here. Every step of the way."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I've made my decision."

I felt my breath hitch, my chest aching. "Mallory, please."

"I'm sorry," she choked out. "I can't keep it."

My hands fell from hers.

I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.

This was real.

And there was nothing I could do to change her mind.