19

CHAPTER NINETEENadonis pov

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"WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU, HUH? YOU'VE BEEN ACTING WEIRD THE PAST TWO WEEKS. TALK TO ME." Elizabeth slid into the booth beside me. Her hand touched my back—gentle at first, then circling it. It feels like she tryna comfort something broken she can't even name.

"I'm fine, Liz. I promise," I muttered, brushing her hand off without thinking.

She didn't say nothing at first. Just gave the biggest side eye ever— and I tensed quick as fuck. I tighten my jaw and look away from her pretty ass eyes.

"That's the third time you said that. You know it don't sound convincing, right?" she finally said, her voice. I know she don't wanna cause a scene, that ain't the type of person she is for real. "You used to talk to me, Donny. You used to let me in."

I stared down at my Gatorade, wishing this conversation would end and the guilt would stop eating me up inside.

"I've just been tired," I mumbled.

That lame ass excuse.

Elizabeth leaned back, her arms crossed, and lips tight. Her silence said all I needed to know.

Shit finna go down.. I'm already knowing.

"You think I don't notice when you check out?" she whispered. "You be sittin right next to me, but your mind—your heart—be somewhere else."

My throat was dry. "Whatchu tryna say Liz?"

"You keep disappearing on me. Ignore my texts. Barely say good morning anymore," she said, voice cracking now. "So imma ask this once, and I want you to answer me straight."

She paused.

"Is there someone else?"

My heart dropped to my ass and I flinched quick as fuck.

"Why would you ask me that?" I finally looked at her. My voice came out low.

"Because I'm not stupid," she snapped.

Elizabeth was finna say more when Chanel walked up to our table. Liz quieted down and scooted over, giving her a small smile. Chanel waved, smirking at me like she rehearsed this whole fucking scenario in her head.

I'm screwed now for sure.

It was time for this leech to snitch and not gonna lie I think it might be time. Clover don't want me no more. If I go home right now, I bet my momma already posted some shady ass mess on her story. And Liz ain't lying—we ain't been close in a minute. So maybe Chanel airing it out ain't the worst thing.

Maybe I really don't deserve to be with nobody but myself.

But when I looked at Elizabeth—really looked—watched her eyes flick from Chanel to me, then back to me, catching how wide my eyes were... I saw her face shift. From calm to fury. Her cheeks started turning red.

"So this is who you've been messing with? My fucking best friend? Are you serious, Adonis? Chanel—"

Her voice kept rising. People were staring now. Whispers floating. I swear I saw Jeremiah recording us which made me roll my eyes.

Messy ass.

"Elizabeth, you know me—I would never do something like that to you," Chanel said, all innocent, but I ain't care. I just didn't want Liz thinking I was down bad for this leech.

"Yeah, Liz, it ain't even like that for real. Ion want yo leech of a friend. There's nobody I want but you." I reached for her forearm, but she snatched it back.

"I don't know... and now that I think about it, it makes sense. You two always whispering, falling silent when I walk up. It's so high school. Like, if you're fucking around—just tell me, bro."

She folded her arms across her chest. That meant she was done.

I was just about to explain when Chanel cut in.

"He's sleeping with his aunt. Clover. Not me. I swear on my future grave, bro, he is. I got a picture."

Chanel threw her hands up like she innocent, but all hell had already broken loose.

"Man, Chanel, what you lyin' on my name fa?" I mugged her down, trying to stay cool. I ain't know if it was working though—because now the entire café was quiet. Phones were out. More whispers.

Then Liz spoke, calm but that shit was creepy as fuck.

"Adonis Maleek Jones... I'm gonna ask you once and only once. Have you been sleeping with Clover?"

"No," I said—not too fast. Not too slow. And I wasn't lying, at least not fully.

I hadn't even talked to Clover in a minute.

Elizabeth stared at me like she was searching for something, but everything about this moment was working against me. The silence between us turned heavy, and I felt the fucking walls of the café closing in on my cheating ass.

At least I'm self aware.

"You haven't even looked me in the eye since I asked you that," she said quietly, tears starting to build but not falling. "I want to believe you, Donny. I really do... but something in me just—just won't let me."

Ion want her voice sounding like that.

"You think I'd lie to you about something like this?" I asked, sharper than I meant to. "C'mon, Liz. You know me better than that."

"That's the thing," she said, shaking her head, voice trembling. "I used to know you. Now? You just a version of yourself I don't recognize."

I could feel my chest tightening. "So what—you wanna just end it?"

She flinched. "I want a break."

I blinked. "A break? The fuck is that Elizabeth?"

"Don't start Adonis. Yes, I need a break. I need space. You need space. You need to figure out what you want, Adonis. And I need to figure out why the hell I'm still holding on to someone who won't even hold eye contact when I ask him a simple question."

That stung me ian gonna front. She was standing now, grabbing her bag.

"You really think I don't know what I want?" I said, standing too. My voice rising just enough to pull eyes from the next table over.

She turned slowly. "I think you think you do. But you're just projecting all that pain and confusion onto me because you ain't got the guts to sit with yourself long enough to face it."

"Nah, see, now you trying to psychoanalyze me like I'm some case study. Like I ain't been solid since day one."

"You been half of yourself for weeks, Donny," she said, eyes red. "And I kept trying to fix it, trying to hold us together, but I can't keep giving energy to somebody who don't even know who he is anymore."

I opened my mouth to clap back, but the words didn't come fast enough.

"You say you love me but loving me don't look like confusion and ghosted texts and making me feel like I'm crazy for noticing you slip away."

Her voice broke on that last word and Chanel reached out from the side to rub her back. Ion even know what to do.

Elizabeth turned and walked off. Chanel hesitated, then followed, but before she did, she leaned toward me, close enough for only me to hear.

"I won't show her the picture, Adonis," she whispered. "You already confirmed it without me needing to. Yo cheating ass ruined your relationship all on your own."

I clenched my jaw so hard it made my temple twitch.

She walked off, arm around Elizabeth, and I was left standing in the middle of the café with everybody's eyes on me and Jeremiah still recording like he running the Shade Room.

━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━

I barely made it through my classes. My mind was everywhere but where it needed to be. Every time a professor spoke, it sounded like they were one of the teachers from Charlie Brown. I just kept thinking about Liz, about Clover, about Chanel's smug ass smirk. My phone was blowing up—texts from Jeremiah and the boys, missed calls from Ma—but I ain't feel like answering them.

Ion wanna talk.

When I finally made it home, the sky was a faded blue, night was creeping in. I unlocked the door, and of course—my momma was right there in the kitchen, arms folded, apron still on, eyes looked tired and concentrated on whatever she was thinking about.

"Adonis," she said gently looking at me.

"Hey, Ma."

"We need to talk."

I dropped my bag near the stairs and sighed. "Ma, not right now."

"Yes, right now," she said. "Come sit down."

Danesha is way to calm fa me. I knew that type of calm, means that shit may hit the fan. My mom is never calm when it comes to situations like these.

I sat down like she said.

She took the seat across from me, her elbows on the table. "You know Clover's been my best friend for years."

I didn't respond. I just stared at a scratch in the wood grain on the table.

"She was like a sister to me, Adonis. And you—you're my son. Y'all are two of the most important people in my life... and both of you betrayed me in ways I never imagined."

"I didn't mean for it to happen like that," I muttered.

"But it did happen. And the fact that you ain't even tell me—shows that you knew what you two were doing is wrong."

"I know momma," I said, voice low. "And I'm sorry."

She nodded slowly. "But it ain't just me you need to think about. It's how this affects everyone. The family. Your other aunts. Elizabeth, her family. The people around us. You."

I looked up at her then. "Ma... I hear you. I do. But I'm grown. I'm making grown man choices—and if I gotta deal with grown man consequences, then so be it. But don't put this all on Clover. I went after her. Not the other way around."

Her eyes widened. "So you saying this was your idea?"

"I'm saying... I love her."

That made her freeze.

"I know it's wrong. I know it's complicated and messy and everything else. But I can't help how I feel. And this whole situation? It's messing with me too. You think I'm just chillin? Like I'm proud of all this?"

She looked down, tears brimming but not falling.

Shit ion want her crying because of me.

"I don't want you to look at Clover like she ruined me, Ma. She didn't. If anything... she made me feel seen in a way I didn't expect."

My voice cracked and I had to look away for a second. And I when I turned back I saw my momma wiping her eyes.

"I want to understand Adonis, I really do. But Clover broke a boundary I never thought she would cross. And yes, you're grown. Yes, you can make your own decisions and those decisions will have consequences, but she watched you grow. She babysat you and practically witnessed  all of your milestones in life. She's supposed to be the adult in the room. She's supposed to see me in you. And if she really saw me—respected me—she wouldn't have allowed her mind to go there. Especially once she realized who she had intercourse with once she sobered up the next day. So I can't respect a woman who disrespects me," she looked at me before sitting down at the dinner table. I sat down on one of the island chairs.

"Ma, I'm not tryna argue with you, I swear. I hear everything you're saying... and I know it ain't easy for you to even say that out loud. But I need you to hear me too. This ain't some random, careless mistake. And it damn sure wasn't about disrespecting you.

Yeah, I'm grown. But I still care what you think. I still care how you feel. And I never wanted to be the one to hurt you like this. But this didn't happen 'cause Clover don't respect you. It happened 'cause we saw something in each other—something real. I'm not saying it was right, but it was real.

You say she should've seen you in me—and maybe she did. But maybe that's why it happened, Ma. Maybe the way I love, the way I show up, the way I try to be solid for people... maybe you taught me all that. Maybe she saw the best parts of you in me and that's what pulled her in.

You got every right to feel how you feel, and I know it's gonna take time. But please don't talk like I was just some kid she took advantage of. I knew what I was doing. I made that choice too."

"Adonis... I'm not saying you're a child. I know you're grown. I know you're trying to be a man. But baby, being a man also means knowing when something crosses a line—even if it feels good. Even if it feels real.

You say she saw the best parts of me in you? Then why didn't that stop her? Why didn't she pause and remember who you are to me? Who she is to me?

I ain't mad because you found love—I'm mad because y'all found it in a place that never should've been touched. And maybe you don't see it now, but one day... you might.

I love you. Lord knows I do. But this right here? This broke something in me. And I don't know how long it's gonna take to put it back together. You say it wasn't meant to hurt me, but it did, Adonis. It did."

I go quiet. Ion know what to say and hearing what my momma has to say just makes me feel some type of way. I just hope what I say next won't piss her off

"I ain't leavin her, momma. I'm not finna lie to you," I let out a little bit quieter than usual. I watch her movements carefully.

"I know that's not what you wanna hear. And I'm not saying it to hurt you. But this thing with Clover... it's not some mistake I'm tryna cover up or pretend ain't real. It's real. And I'm not finna throw her away just to make it easier for your hurt. That wouldn't be fair to either of us," I pause and get up off the chair before continuing

"I love you. You my mother. My everything. And I love her too. Not as some replacement for what I'm missing, not as some rebellion against you, but because... I just do. And if there's any part of you that still sees me—really sees me—you'll at least try to understand that."

I walk towards my momma as she stands up.

"I'm not asking you to be best friends again. I'm not asking you to forgive her today. I'm just asking .. don't let this be the thing that breaks our relationship."

It goes quiet for a minute before Momma tilts her head to the side, lets out this dramatic sigh, and rolls her eyes. Then she gives me a tight smile and pulls me into a hug.

"I love you too, Adonis."

When she pulls away, she heads upstairs. I just stand there for a second, confused. I don't know what that means. I don't know where that leaves us... or where that leaves her and Clover.

I'm not finna think about it too much, though—I'm tired as hell. I walk upstairs to my room and close the door behind me. When I flop on the bed, my eyes shut almost instantly.