Chapter 3: The Monster

"You're not supposed to be here."

The voice was softer than Est expected. Lazy even. Calm. But beneath that calmness, was an edge of steel that made his breath catch in his throat.

Est took a nervous gulp, his throat bobbing with the effort. Shallow breaths slipped past his lips as he tried to steady himself.

"H-Hong brought me here..." Est whispered.

"Hong?" The word was empty, didn't hold surprise or disdain.

"Yes." Est answered.

Silence followed— heavy, assessing.

Whoever this man was, he gave nothing away.

The quiet grew so thick that Est's knees ached under the weight of it, but he stayed kneeling, waiting.

"You should be naked." The words dropped like a stone into the stillness, almost accusatory.

Est's heart stopped, his pulse hammered.

He wanted to explain— wanted to say he couldn't but words were firmly lodged in his throat.

Slowly, clumsily, he reached for his shirt buttons.

One.

Two.

Three.

A fourth.

A fifth.

Until the the fabric came undone. He slid it off his shoulder, leaving his chest bare.

His shaky fingers found his belt buckle. He was just about to slip it free when the man stopped him.

"Leave it on."

Est halted, froze. "Okay..." He murmured.

Another long silence.

Then the bed creaked in front of him, breaking the silence at last, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps crossing the floor.

The scent came first— something sharp, masculine, laced with an earthy undertone. It curled into Est's nostrils, made his head swim.

Then strong, calloused fingers touched his chin. Warm skin against warm, trembling skin.

"What is your name?"

Est's throat felt dry. "Est." He whispered.

"Est..." The voice repeated, as if tasting the syllable. "You call me sir. Do you understand?"

"Yes..." Est breathed the word out.

"Yes what?"

Est's heart stuttered. "Yes, Sir."

A pause, then the touch vanished. "On your feet."

Shaky legs carried him upright.

Even fully clothed from the waist down, Est still felt bare, exposed— stripped raw under the man's unseen, burning gaze.

His hands twitched at his sides, the urge to cover himself overwhelming, but he kept them firmly at his sides, his veins straining with the effort.

"Do you know what is going to happen here?" The man asked.

A shiver shot down Est's spine. "Yes." Then he caught himself. "Yes, Sir."

"And what is going to happen?"

"You're going to beat me... Sir."

The way the "Sir" left his lips felt unnatural, made Est shiver.

"And is that something you want, Est?"

For a heartbeat, Est wanted to deny. Wanted to say No. But the truth pressed against his ribs, aching to be let out. "Yes, Sir."

"Have you done this before?"

"No, Sir."

The man chuckled. Low, dangerous. "This isn't going to work."

Panic surged. Est dropped back to his knees, desperation spilling from him. "Please, Sir..." His voice shook, but he fought to keep it steady. "I want this."

Est felt his stare on him, assessing, maybe with unspoken intrigue. "I can see that." The man said dryly. "But I'm not the one to give you what you want. If I lay a finger on you... I'll break you."

"I can take it..." Est pleaded, chest heaving, the words scraping out of him. "Please, Sir."

A long silence followed.

Est felt it in his bones— this man was studying him, peeling him apart without decorum, without mercy.

The figure moved closer. Crouched.

Est could feel the warmth emanate from him. Then his fingers were on Est, sliding down from his shoulder to his arm. Est's breath caught, and a light chill ran through him.

His touch stopped at the skin of his forearm.

Est tensed.

His thumb pressed gently against his scorched skin. "Did you do this?" He asked, voice only inquisitive.

Est's was breathless, fragile. "Yes, Sir..."

That sealed something between them.

The man stood.

"Stand." His firm command.

Est was on his feet without hesitation.

Then the man was in front of him.

William— still a stranger to Est, worked at the clasp of Est's belt, his sturdy fingers precise, his eyes never leaving his face. In one swift, not-so-gentle tug, he slid it free from the loops. "Hold out your hands."

Est obeyed instantly, wrists trembling as they stretched forward, fists bunched.

The leather strap wrapped around them, pulling tight, buckling with a sharp click.

Est gasped— the sound sharp and involuntary.

William smirked at the noise.

Guiding him with firm hands, William led him closer to the edge of the room.

A hook hung low from the ceiling, and soon Est's bound wrists were pulled up, suspended above his head. His body stretched to meet its suspension and his toes barely touched the ground— not without straining his wrists.

Est's chest heaved. His nerves heightened.

"You're shaking." William observed.

"I-I can't help it, Sir."

"What is your safe word?"

A pause.

Est's mind went blank. "I... I don't have one, Sir."

"Then make one up."

Est's chest tightened. He thought for a long moment, then whispered. "Thame."

William hummed in approval and steadied Est's raised arms. "I'm going to whip you with my belt. Ten strikes. You will count. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Don't forget your safe word. If it gets too intense, too painful— how do you stop me?" His voice carried no emotion, no gentleness, only the promise of inevitability.

Est was panting now. "Thame."

"Yes. Thame. Not no. Not please. Not stop. I won't stop." His words cut like steel.

Sweat rolled down his face.

Est didn't feel safe.

But he needed this. Needed to know. "Okay, Sir."

Silence stretched.

Then the first strike landed.

Without warning.

It cracked across his lower back, fire exploding under his skin.

Est gasped, knees buckling, but the restraints held him upright. He bit back a cry. His whole body trembled.

Then he remembered. "O-one."

The second strike followed instantly, sharper, biting across his shoulder. The sound echoed in the hollow room. He clenched his fists above him, forcing himself to steady his breath. "Two..."

The next lash cut across his ribs, making him twist in the cuffs. His breaths shuddered out of him. "Three."

Another— across his spine, searing heat spreading like wildfire. His toes curled, legs quaking. "Four."

Each strike forced him deeper into the edge between agony and that never ending ache in his chest. Soon he couldn't tell the difference.

By the fifth, his teeth dug into his lip to keep the scream in. "Five."

His head hung, sweat dripping down his temple.

The sixth cracked against his skin, and a broken groan escaped before he could swallow it. "Six..."

Seventh— was so close to his waist it almost stole his breath. "Seven."

Eighth— higher, lashing over his now sensitive flesh. He almost choked on the number. "Eight."

The ninth— his whole body jerked, eyes squeezing shut beneath the blindfold. "Nine!"

The tenth came without mercy, slicing across already raw skin. Est's cry finally tore free, ragged and unrestrained. His chest heaved, his arms trembled, and his body was slick with sweat.

"Ten..." The word a mere, broken whisper.

Silence fell again, broken only by the sound of Est's panting.

Then a finger traced the line of his jaw, a thumb brushing over sweat-soaked skin.

William's voice was calm, approving. "You take pain better than I expected."

The words made Est tremble.

"You've earned a reward..." William murmured. "Tell me something you want. I'll give it to you."

Est's throat bobbed. His lips moved before his mind could stop them. "I don't— I don't want you to stop, Sir."

A dangerous smile curved William's lips. "Are you sure..."

"Yes sir." it came out a low sob.

"Then I won't."

The belt whistled again, and Est braced himself.

The leather hissed through the air and landed with brutal force against Est's side. His body jerked, and a sharp cry broke free before he could stop it. His lungs dragged in air like he was drowning.

"Eleven..." His voice cracked on the word.

The twelfth came fast, a punishing stroke across his back that caused his spine to arch. His knuckles whitened and the leather of the belt cut into the skin of his wrist.

"Twelve." He gasped, the number dragged out of him

The thirteenth lashed lower, over his skin that was already blistering with heat. Est's knees buckled with the force and a sob tore from him before he could smother it. "Thirteen..."

The fourteenth landed even harder. He cried out, his voice breaking, head dropping forward as the blindfold absorbed his tears. "Fourteen."

By the fifteenth, Est's sobs were harsher, his breathing heavy with the effort of counting. His voice was half-broken, half-pleading when he said the number.

The sixteenth struck and ripped a scream from him. He barely found the word.

Seventeenth— his body writhed, his breath hitched in ragged gasps.

The eighteenth cracked across his already too tender skin, and his sobs came freely now, unrestrained, his face wet with a mix of sweat and tears.

Nineteenth— his whole body shuddered, and he almost said the wrong word, almost said "Stop." But then he pulled through. "Nineteen..."

The twentieth landed with ruthless precision— a brutal lash across his back.

He screamed, then bit down hard, jaws clenched, trying to ground himself in the agony. His throat tightened as he forced the number out. "Twenty..."

When it was over, he sagged over— chest heaving, sweat dripping down his body.

His back was a raw canvas of welts, every nerve ending alive and alight. Tears streaked down his face, but his lips still forced the words out. "Please don't stop, Sir..."

The silence that followed was heavy.

William stood close enough that Est could feel his heat, his presence. "You don't want me to stop?"

Est shook his head weakly. "No, Sir."

William's dark eyes swept over him. There was hunger there, yes, but something sharper too.

Curiosity. Calculation.

"You're tempting me..." William said, voice low. "But even I know my limits."

Est whimpered, straining against the cuffs, needing something more— anything more.

"Tell me, Est..." William's tone shifted, probing. "Are you a masochist? Or are you suicidal?"

The words landed sharper than the belt. Est froze, his breath catching in his throat. "I... I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I just—" His voice cracked, and the dam inside him finally broke. "I just want to forget. I just want this feeling to go away. I just want to stop hurting in here..." His voice shook as his head lowered towards his chest, shoulders shaking. "Please, Sir..."

The room was quiet except for his sobbing beaths.

William stepped closer, a hand pressing lightly to Est's bruised ribs, grounding him.

The gesture wasn't gentle but it wasn't cruel either. it just anchored him.

"But I know Est. I know you're not..." William said finally, his voice softer, though not less dangerous. "You know why I know Est?"

"No, Sir." Est murmured, his voice a feeble, breaking thing.

"Because you're not hard."

The words made him flinch.

"You're not aroused by this." William continued. "You're not enjoying the pain. You're chasing something else. Oblivion. Silence."

Est's throat worked. "I've tried... I've tried everything. Meds? Therapy? Nothing works." His voice broke into jagged pieces. "Except this. Except pain. When it burns, when it hurts— I can breathe again. For just a second, I can breathe."

William's gaze sharpened, his expression still unreadable. "You're broken..." He murmured. "But not in the way you think."

Est cried harder, his body trembling in its suspension. "I just want to forget..." He whispered. "Please... Just help me forget."

For the first time, he stunned William.

He tilted his head, brows furrowed, studying Est like he was some puzzle he hadn't expected. It intrigued him, made him want to keep guessing.

He pondered for a bit.

Then quietly, he said. "I can make you forget..."

Est's breath hitched, the words cutting through him.

William circled him slowly, eyes taking in his body, devouring him. Like a predator tracing prey. His voice dropped to a low whisper, dangerous in its promise. "Pain isn't meant for long suffering. It's supposed to be an escape. A release. A door to something... intoxicating."

Est's lips trembled. He didn't speak. Couldn't.

William's steps halted in front of him again. "Would you submit to that, Est? Not just the pain. The pleasure."

A nervous gulp caught in Est's throat. He thought for a solid minute, before answering. "Yes, Sir."

"Would you submit to being stripped and bound?"

Est's voice shook. "Yes, Sir."

"Would you submit to being sodomized?"

Est's heart dropped.

He knew the absurdity in the question, in what he was asking, but the man's voice was a pull he couldn't resist.

Despite his pain, because of his pain, he didn't want this to end quick.

He needed this.

The silence stretched unbearably, and he gulped loudly. His voice trembled as he gave in. "Yes, Sir."

William smirked, eyes dark and sinful.

He reached up and freed Est from the hook, catching him before his weak legs could fold. Their bodies pressed, and Est felt the warm clad skin, the strong hands that held him close, almost protective.

"Then I'll show you." William murmured low in his ear, his breath ghosting over his skin.

His words, his presence, his promise? It made Est tremble.

William guided him slowly— carefully, towards the bed. There he carefully sat him at the edge.

Kneeling, he gently unbuckled the belt, freeing Est's now red hands. His thumb rubbed over his wrists, easing the blood flow that dissolved the numbness.

William's eyes flicked over the welts, the trembling limbs, the tear-streaked face. And his gaze darkened even further.

"You'll learn..." William said, his voice a little rougher now. "Pain is only the beginning."

His hands were steady as he guided Est onto the large bed. Then slowly, carefully, he pushed him down, gently hovering over him.

The sheets shifted underneath Est's trembling body, the soft silk like sand paper against his raw, bleeding welts. The sting made his body jolt, made him gasp aloud.

"Relax." William ordered.

Est obeyed, easing his breaths.

He felt even more self-conscious, knowing he was under the dim light, his arms instinctively twitching to cover himself.

But William caught his wrists and pressed them firmly against the headboard. "Don't move."

Est stilled. Obeyed.

A soft click followed, then the cool bite of leather cuffs closed around his wrists, securing them to the carved wood.

Est tugged against it instinctively, but there was no give.

He was bound. Spread. Exposed.

His breaths fastened now, heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped animal.

William studied him, eyes predatory, then leaned down until Est could feel his breath against his ear. "You said you'd submit..." He murmured. "Now you'll prove it."

Est swallowed hard, his voice a breathy, shaky whisper. "Yes, Sir."

William's mouth curved.

He sat up, running his eyes down the ridges of his torso, admiring every sharp line and every subtle curve. His hands skimmed over his chest, fingers moving across his sweat-damp skin, trailing, before lingering at his nipples.

He pinched one suddenly, sharply.

Est gasped, the sting lighting up his nerves.

"Sensitive." William noted, rnning his eyes over the light pink flesh. His thumb rolled over the now hard bud, sending a jolt through Est's trembling body.

Est's back arched, a low hum leaving his throat.

He wasn't sure if it was pain or pleasure, but it dragged a sharp moan from him when William tweaked harder.

"That's it..." William murmured as caught the other in-between his fingers. "Your body doesn't lie..."

Est's cock twitched in his trousers, and suddenly the loose fabric felt discomfiting.

Willian's touch moved lower, tracing down the lines of Est's ribs, his waist, thumbs leaving gentle, lingering trails before pausing at the waistband of his trousers.

Est's breath hitched— prepared, but William only chuckled and withdrew. He got off the bed, circled it slowly, let the anticipation stretch.

Time passed slow, a dull ache spreading through Est with every second he remained bound and untouched.

He almost whined, bit down on his lip to trap it. His toes twisted with growing impatience, and every breath he took felt like an iron lung.

It was unbearable, almost excruciating.

William watched, eyes dark— wicked, his lust for this strainger growing with every heartbeat.

This man, this 'present' from Hong was a pleasant surprise.

He was beautiful.

A swimmers body— sharp-shouldered, strong, lean muscle under flawless, now bruised skin. His lips were full, heart-shaped, tempting.

William wondered what his eyes looked like.

The shape, the color.

If they widened with anticipation, with fear. If they blackened with lust.

William watched Est tremble in suspense, watched him flinch with deliberate sharp noises he made, watched his stomach cave in, watched his breaths grow sharp and uneven.

And as he watched, his hunger only grew.

This man was dangerous. Pulling at his years of built up restraints.

William wanted to ravage. Wanted to destroy.

But he kept himself in check. Kept himself from falling into the dark, chasing after that abyss.

That was what made him man.

Not a monster.

When he returned— slow, grueling, he moved to the side, kneeling beside Est's legs.

Est felt the dip, and his heart raced.

In the next moment, the man's strong hands was dragging his trousers down with deliberate slowness, his fingers grazing against skin with the pull. His boxers came off next and his cock sprang free— flush, leaking against his belly, leaving Est painfully aware he was naked.

Heat flooded his face— shame and vulnerability crashing through him, but he didn't resist.

"You're mine now." William said, his voice low and final, eyes taking in all of his naked glory.

Est shivered in response.

William shifted into the space between his spread legs, lifted both and placed them flat against his chest. He grabbed his hips roughly, dragging him closer until his splayed legs crooked over his shoulder.

Est gasped, still shaking.

He could feel the hard planes of his chest, the warm skin under the fabric of his shirt. He swallowed deeply, his fingers biting into his palms to ground himself.

Will leaned down— slow, sensual, his breath ghosting over Est's inner thigh. Then— without warning, his tongue dragged slowly along the sensitive skin.

Est gasped, thighs quivering against William's shoulder.

William's tongue was hot, wet, dangerous.

it made Est want to scream. His body tensed, every nerve alive with raw unfilted lust, and everything in him begged for reprieve.

"Sir—" The word broke on a moan when William's tongue moved higher, teasing, circling but never quite touching where Est needed it most.

It was torment— agonizing, intolerable, the ache even sharper than the belt had been. The torture was endless, stretched on for eternity and Est panted in anguish, toes curling with desire, cock hard and begging to be touched, his bound wrists straining uselessly.

"Please, Sir..." Est begged, his breaths heavier, uneven.

William's chuckle vibrated against his skin. "So impatient..." Then his voice lowered. "So needy."

He pushed Est's legs even lower and moved his lips towards his entrance.

Est breath caught, and he shook with suspense.

William licked him— teasing but deep.

Est's back arched and he choked on a broken moan.

It was heaven. It was hell. All at once.

William's tongue pressed firmly against the tiny slit in a lick that made Est eyes roll, made his lips tremble, low, broken moans escaping him.

Then his tongue was fully in him, flicking, twisting, rolling, before pulling away and spitting on it.

The wet heat of it, the obscene sounds it made, shattered Est.

His body twisted, his hands trembled violently against the restraints and a loud, ragged moan tore free.

William held his legs down— firm, his tongue relentless— licking, teasing, devouring him until Est's thighs quaked and his uneven breaths faded into frantic gasps.

Liquid heat pooled in Est's core and he neared the edge. "Sir— Sir, I—" He begged.

"Not yet..." William cut him off, his voice dark with command. "You'll come when I say so."

Est whimpered, head tossing against the pillow, every nerve on fire. His body writhed, screaming for release, but he obeyed, choking on the restraint.

Will pulled away at last— lips red and slick, and Est sobbed at the loss, his impending orgasm melting away, hole clenching and pulsing, his cock red and aching.

The slick snap of a bottle sounded, followed by a wet, splurting sound. Est's pulse spiked, and his breaths came out shallow.

A finger pushed in without warning.

All at once, slick and firm.

Est cried out, the burn sharp and undeniable, and his body clenched tightly around the intrusion.

"Relax..." William ordered, pushing his finger deeper— thrusting, rolling, curling.

Est tried— he really tried— but his body shook too hard, legs jerking with every movement— pain, fear and need all tangled into every nerve.

William held his knees together with a sturdy hand, pressed it firm against his chest and slipped a second finger in. Est cried out, back arching involuntarily, hands tugging at his restraints.

William just kept working him open, pushing in deep, searching, until his finger found that distinct spot buried deep inside Est. When he found it, he pressed into it, hard. Est jolted, thighs fully shaking against William's strong hand, a broken whimper escaping him.

William's languid fingers were merciless— twisting, curling, stretching, until Est forgot how to breathe.

"That's it..." William murmured, grazing his prostate over and over. "You'll take me so well."

Est's cried out, his body betraying him, hips grinding into the touch even as the blindfold absorbed his tears. His stomach tightened again. His eyes rolled underneath the blindfold. His toes twisted at the constant pressure and pleasure. "Please sir— please. Ah!"

William ignored his pleas, his fingers never halting his sensual assault. Est only shook, held back, his mind a whirlwind of desperate, agonizing bliss.

By the time William withdrew his fingers, Est was panting, almost hyperventilating, his body fully open, hypersensitive. The sudden emptiness made him weep at the loss and the pent up lust.

He craved more.

William moved away from him, the bed creaking with the shift in weight.

Est listened, his body a throbbing hum., his senses sharp, impatient.

The smooth shuffle of fabric sliding off skin, sharp sound of a zipper, clothing being discarded. Then the sound of foil tearing, followed by the stretch of latex rolling down. The bottle snapped open again— a wet, dripping sound filling in the room.

Then once again,,William settled in between Est's legs, pinning his knees to his chest, folding him in half. He positioned his cock between Est's tight entrance and thrust in, filling him in one long, relentless push.

Est screamed— the sound raw, head thrown back as his body struggled to take the sudden fullness.

He was big.

Bigger than he'd expected. Bigger than he'd been prepped for.

"Fuck—" The words tore from his throat, strangled, helpless. His legs pushed at his chest, shaking uncontrollably.

Will held him down, filled him and... stilled. Gave him time to breath, to adjust.

"Relax." The command was almost gentle, but firm, still edged with steel.

Est's attempts to steady his trembling legs were almost laughable. His insides screamed, his body fought against the thick intrusion.

William saw his struggle, and lowered his head, placing a soft, featherlike kiss at the side of his lips.

His lips were soft, the touch tender. It made Est's heart skip, made him boneless, eased all his discomfort in a fleeting instant.

He took steady, grounding breaths and soon his body adjusted to his full length.

"That's it... Relax for me." The man breathed the words against his skin, his voice coaxing.

Est's breath caught and his mind wandered.

He couldn't help but think that, if he wasn't bound, he would run his hands through his hair. Pull him even closer. Hold him.

His fingers fluttered at the thought.

William leaned back up, gripped Est's knees with strong hands, pinned them in place, keeping him spread open. He grounded his weight and started to move— slow at first, deliberate, each stroking easing his way into Est's tight passage.

The pain from the stretch was immeasurable— almost as bad as his first time.

But Est endured it.

Pain was still pain.

He felt heat roll off the man's skin, heard the low noises he made with every thrust.

And despite his distress, Est was still aroused. Still found comfort in his touch.

Because like this he felt useful, purposeful. Maybe even desired. Maybe craved.

All he knew was his body an instrument for this stranger's pleasure. And he didn't despise that.

William's strokes grew faster, more heated, more intense and the pain soon faded into something more. Something sharper. Something beyond pleasure.

"That's it— ah!" He moaned, his cock slamming against Est— in, out, in, out. Freely, without restriction. "Taking me so well."

Est moans were hushed now, his voice spent, his head swaying with a haze of pain and pleasure.

The sheets scraped at his raw back and the cuffs bit into his wrists. The man fucked him deeper into the mattress— every rough stroke dragging against his prostate, his low voice burning praises into Est's.

"Good boy... You can take it... Mine."

Est cried out with every word, a dizzying sensation surging in him.

Every thrust was merciless, driving deeper, pushing past his pain until it bled into something else— something sharp and overwhelming that left Est yielding with every movement.

He was close.

The orgasm he'd been denied all night threatened to rip out of him with a force that made Est shudder. "Please— sir. I-I— can't—." He screamed. But he wasn't even sure he said the words— his suppressed orgasm dragging an otherworldly sensation that halted his ability to think.

William fucked him still, kept him on the edge, denying him release, ordering. "Don't come... Don't you dare come."

Est obeyed only through sheer desperation, sobbing with the effort, his body writhing beneath the relentless pace. His face twisted with pleasure, his voice failed, breaking into ragged moans and pleas that soon dissolved into incoherence.

When William saw his body wrung raw of pleasure and pain, saw him totally wrecked and ruined, did he finally allow it.

"Come for me."

And Est broke, falling over the edge, pleasure tearing through him so violently he thought he might shatter.

The world went white.

Then black.

Est didn't notice when The Man finished— didn't even know if he did.

His body was limp, spent, bound wrists slack against the cuffs. His orgasm left him drifting in and out of consciousness, his mind distorted, the man still fucking his lax, trembling body until he finally collapsed into the silence.

Est came awake with a blur.

The blindfold was gone now, the dim lighting burning against his raw eyes. His head tilted to the side, his breaths shallow, chest aching with every pull of air.

Everything clouded, smudged together— the cross, the shadows on walls, the low hum of the room.

Through the haze he saw it.

Him.

The wide stretch of the man's back as he shifted.

A serpent was inked deep into the right half of his skin— the drawing sharp, almost alive even though Est's wavering sight. Firm muscles, moved underneath, and poorly healed scars littered the left half.

Est's throat worked, dry, but no sound came.

The man's hand rose, holding a phone— his fingers marked with black crosses and jewelry that flickered when they caught the faint light.

When he spoke, a murmur of words— indistinct, unreachable, spilled from his lips, but Est couldn't decipher them, could only hear static. He shifted, strained to see clearer but the world swayed too far.

Before he could see a face, darkness pulled him back under...

The first thing Est felt when he woke up was pain.

His back burned, every welt a live ember pressed into his skin. His wrists stung— raw from leather cuffs biting deep. His thighs ached in ways he had never known before.

The second thing he felt was emptiness.

He stirred weakly, blinking his eyes open. The blindfold was gone. The room swayed, then stilled.

He swept his gaze over.

Everything looked untouched— too untouched.

One half of bed was neat, the sheets smoothed, pillow tucked.

As if he hadn't been brutally fucked there mere hours before.

The cuffs at the headboard were gone. No used condoms, wrappers or lubricant.

The air was still, clean, and The Man was nowhere in sight.

It was as if the night had been erased.

Est laid there for a long moment, staring at the walls, his mind a blur.

Fragments from last night came back in flashes— the crack of the belt, the pain, the way his body had betrayed him with trembling need. The way the Man's voice had filled every corner of his head until nothing else existed.

The way he'd given himself over completely.

He shifted, wincing, every muscle screaming, his skin sensitive where the strikes had landed. The pain clung to him, but it wasn't unbearable.

Est felt a slight coolness ontop of the heat, a healing balm that had been worked gently onto his skin

Even through the soreness, he felt it— someone had taken care of him after.

The man?

Hong?

He wasn't sure.

But the aftercare... it lingered. Like a soft hand holding him, soothing. Caressing. Proof that even though his body had been broken, he was still deserving.

He didn't know of what.

He just knew he felt... something.

Not warmth. Not devotion but something close. Or maybe far off. But it helped that he was seen.

Not discarded.

He didn't know how long he stayed there before the weight in his chest forced him to move.

Slowly, painfully, he dressed, every small movement reminding him of what had been done to him. For him.

He left the room, the club, and stepped into the waking sun.

The drive home blurred. His hands gripped the wheel as he sped off, but his mind was faraway.

It was still back there, in that room.

Hanging from leather, bound to a bed, screaming aloud underneath a stranger.

When he finally stepped through his front door, the silence swallowed him.

But somehow, house felt less like a tomb tomb than usual, even though the air was still heavy, still haunted.

Est dropped his keys and went straight to the bathroom. He peeled off his clothes and faced the mirror.

His reflection was almost unrecognizable.

His eyes were swollen, red welts painted his back and shoulders— angry and raw. Small faint bruises marked his arms, his thighs.

He turned, studying the damage, tracing it with shaky fingers.

Instead of despair, he felt something different. Not relief, not exactly— but something lighter.

His chest didn't feel like a locked cage anymore.

The grief was still there, yes, but muted, muffled by the memory of metal and leather and the command in The Man's voice.

He exhaled shakily, leaning against the sink.

And for the first time in months, he wasn't thinking about ending it.

A soft sound pulled him from his thoughts.

Sparkles padded into the bathroom, tail curling as she rubbed against his legs.

Est looked down at her, blinking.

He did not remember getting her from his mother. Or how long she'd been here.

It unsettled him.

She looked up at him, bright-eyed, expectant, as if he were still hers, as if nothing had changed.

Something in him broke.

He bent down, careful with his aching body, and scooped her up. She fit against his chest the way she always had— small and warm and alive. He buried his face in her fur, breathing her in.

"I'm still here..." He whispered, voice cracking. "I'm still here."

For the first time in months, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

She purred, curling against him as if the world hadn't shifted underneath their feet.

Est held her tighter, bruises and all.

__________________________________

Author's note.

This chapter was kinda hard to write. Obviously, it's written from a third-person POV, but a huge part of this story is how it heavily focuses on individuals rather than multiple characters simultaneously. You'll probably see more of that in later chapters.

Est being blindfolded didn't make it any easier either, since I wanted to add an air of mystery to it 😭. In the end, I just gave up and wrote it this way because the original felt kinda stale and boring.

I like this version, but idk— I'd like to hear your perspective. Lmk what you think, pookies 😘 The story really begins to take shape from the next chapter, which should be out mid next week.

Thanks for reading, and share my stories if you like them. Have a great week!