Eight

It'd been a week since the party. Josh called twice, and I didn't answer. I needed space from everything, and I'd feel like I was lying to him even by not coming clean about the kiss with Sam (who I hadn't heard from). Actually, I hadn't really spoken to anyone at all. My mom came home for a day and had lunch with me, but she was gone the next morning again. I was going to ask her for her opinion on everything, but I didn't want to interfere with her work. I knew she was too busy to be thinking about my teenage drama. That was probably the last thing she needed.

It's Saturday now, and school killed me this week. I was too distracted; focusing on anything, especially school work, seemed next to impossible. Collectively over the week, I'd failed a test, forgot to turn in an assignment, and curbed my mom's car which popped a tire. It really felt like the week couldn't possibly get worse. This terrible series of events led me to believe only one thing could relieve how exhausted of life I'd become this week- going on a hike to clear my head. I hadn't been in too long. Seemed like I was always busy lately.

I headed out to my favorite spot in the woods a mile or so down the mountain, equipped with lunch and one of my textbooks to get some reading done for class, although I'd pretty much known I wouldn't touch the book. It was the spot where Josh and I met, but I was going to try and push the thought of him out of my mind so I could just relax and enjoy the view. That also seemed next to impossible.

Once I reached my spot, I sat on my favorite rock (because it was shaped like a heart) and took a bite of my peanut butter and banana sandwich. I let the music of nature fill my ears and the smell of the pines calm every part of my body. This really did fix everything. Every time. At least for a little while. This time, the peace didn't last long.  I felt a sense of deja vu when I heard a stick crack behind me, just like the last time I'd been out here in this very spot. I turned around.

"I was hoping you'd be here," Josh said, coming to take a seat on the rock next to me.

"How'd you know?" I tried to ask through a mouthful of peanut butter. Very attractive, Kate.

"I've been coming here everyday hoping to find you. And now that I'm saying that out loud, it sounds really creepy. But I had good intentions, I promise. I just didn't want to show up at your house if you didn't want to see me. I guess I figured it'd seem more coincidental out here, but I sort of exposed myself, haven't I?" The way he looked at me made me feel the familiar sense of butterflies in my stomach he always gave me.

I couldn't hold back my smile, "It's not creepy. I'm sorry I didn't call you back, Josh, really."

"I get it. I talked to Sam."

I figured this was coming. I didn't think Sam would hide it from him for too long. I dreaded what he was to say next.

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. I didn't know what to say. Josh deserved better than me, than what I did.

"He told me he kissed you while he was drunk. He can get a little over emotional with a couple beers in him. He also told me you let him down easy, so thanks for that. He's a good kid, but, like I said, a little over emotional."

Now I was just confused. Clearly, Sam had covered my ass for whatever reason. But why?

He continued. "I'm not mad at either of you though. I understand you were nervous to tell me, but I want you to know you can tell me anything."

He took my hand and squeezed it. And the two of us sat there on each side of my heart-shaped rock while I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. So I just hugged him. And that's when stuff started to make sense. Like I said, Josh made me feel safe. His arms engulfed me with such an intense feeling of love. It's hard to even put into words. He was the kind of person I could always fall back on and that would always be there for me no matter the shit I ended up getting myself into.

Kissing Sam felt, for lack of a better term, temporary. It felt like we could have a really great love, but it'd be short-lived at best. Something told me he'd never want to settle down; his heart was too wild for me. But I could do that with Josh.

I pulled away from the hug and kissed him softly on the cheek, and he returned with one on my lips. He touched my cheek with the palm of his hand, and I put my own hand over it and held it there. This is what felt right. This is what I wanted.

"Do you want to hike with me?" I asked him. "You're my hiking buddy, after all."

"I would love nothing more," he said, and I could tell he really meant that it.