Everybody~2

After their visit with Effy the girls headed back to Naomi's for Katies 'French' lessons. 

As Tess followed Katie and Pandora through Naomi's front door, a wave of bass-heavy music spilled out to meet them.

JJ was in the hallway, coat half on, Albert balanced against his hip. The baby looked sleepy but content, one sock missing and a crusty smear of something banana-coloured down his cheek. Tess gave him a small smile, reaching out to stroke the back of his head.

"Hey, Albert," she said softly.

Katie leaned in too, cooing briefly before clocking the look on JJ's face.

"You heading off?" Tess asked.

JJ nodded. "Yeah. Atmosphere's not great."

"Naomi caning the spliff again?" Katie asked

He raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

Katie snorted. "Standard."

As JJ turned to leave, Thomas stepped out from the kitchen and into the hallway like he'd been waiting for his cue. He looked directly at Pandora first.

"Panda," he said.

She blinked at him, impassive. "Hi, Tommo."

Their greeting hovered for a moment, cold but not cutting — just the kind of awkward that came with unfinished things.

Thomas turned to Katie, smoothing his tone. "You ready for some French?"

Katie perked up immediately. "I'd love some." She glanced at Pandora, overly casual. "Remember I said Thomas was gonna—"

"Yeah, I remember," Pandora cut in, eyes flicking away.

She brushed past them, heading toward the living room without another word. As soon as she was out of earshot, Katie grinned and looked to Tess, Pandora not knowing about their plan to get them back together.

"I'm pretty cool, huh?"

Thomas didn't look convinced. "Do you think she even cares?"

"Oh, she cares," Tess murmured, watching Pandora disappear into the room ahead. She lingered a moment longer, then turned and stepped inside.

The living room was half-lit and hazy with smoke. The music was louder now, drowning out most thoughts. Naomi stood in the middle of it all, spinning slightly off-beat, a spliff pinched between two fingers and a drink cradled in the other hand. Her eyes landed on Tess like she was just noticing her.

"Where's everybody gone?" Naomi called, laughing into the air.

Tess didn't answer. She just gave a faint shrug, brushing past the edge of the sofa. Emily was curled up in the window seat, arms folded, her face unreadable. Mandy lingered near the doorway, clearly mid-decision to leave.

Naomi twirled lazily, then pointed. "Hey. Hey. Um—what is it?"

"Mandy," Mandy supplied, deadpan.

"Yeah. Yeah, Mandy." Naomi pointed at her like she'd remembered something significant. "You can dance, right? Come on."

Mandy glanced toward the hallway. "I should really get going—"

"No, no, no! Everyone's so fucking pissy tonight. Come on! Emily's got the gob on and I wanna party!"

Mandy hesitated — then, with a strange tight-lipped smile, gave in. Naomi whooped and pulled her toward the middle of the room. The two of them started moving together, Naomi wild and drunk, Mandy more reserved but still dancing — too close, too deliberately. Her eyes stayed locked on Emily the entire time.

Tess, settling beside her on the window seat, reached out and gave Emily's hand a small, silent squeeze.

Naomi leaned in toward Mandy, still moving with the music, half-shouting over the beat but loud enough for them to hear.

"You dance pretty good... for a straight girl." Her laugh bubbled up then dipped. "Yeah. We... we had problems, me and Emsy. Cos I was... I was bad, and... That right, Ems?"

Emily didn't answer. Just stared forward, jaw tight.

"See? I'm forgiven. It's just been heaven these last months. Fucking heaven."

Naomi's words got softer, more slurred as she edged closer to Emily now, eyes glassy and aching for recognition.

Emily stood up sharply and walked out. No words, no scene. Just gone.

"I'm only saying... I'm only saying because—"

Naomi just slumped slightly, head tilted, still dancing but slower now. Alone.

Tess sat still for a second longer, heart quietly thudding, eyes drifting to the window.

Across the street, she spotted Cook.

He was standing stiffly, Karen facing him with a stormy look on her face. She shoved something into his chest — a book? A notebook maybe. Then she turned on her heel and walked away fast, not looking back.

Cook stayed there, frozen for a second before slowly dropping to his knees on the grass. Just sank down like the weight had finally caught up to him.

Tess's stomach twisted. She got up without a word and headed for the door.

As she stepped out into the afternoon, Naomi's voice echoed from the living room behind her:

"Why the fuck is everyone so moody today?"

----

Tess stepped softly across the street, the beat of Naomi's music dulling behind her as the air grew stiller. The grass felt damp beneath her boots as she reached him, but Cook didn't look up. He was hunched on his knees like he might be sick, one hand clenched around a battered notebook, the other bracing himself against the earth.

She lowered herself down beside him without a word, knees pulling to her chest. For a moment she just sat there, letting the silence fill the space between them.

Then, gently, "What's that?"

Cook stared straight ahead. His jaw twitched like he hadn't realised he was clenching it until she spoke.

"Karen gave it to me," he said, voice rough. "Said she found it in Freddie's stuff. Thought I should see it. Thought maybe it'd explain something."

Tess glanced at the notebook in his hand. The cover was warped, smudged and water-stained in places.

"I tried to tell her," he went on, still not looking at her. "I've asked around. Everyone. No one's seen him. Nothing."

He swallowed, shaking his head like he didn't believe what he was saying.

"She reckons something happened."

There was a silence, broken only by the distant hum of traffic and the faint vibration of bass bleeding through Naomi's walls.

"I don't know what to think, Tess," he muttered. "But then she gave me this, and—"

He flipped the notebook open. Tess leaned closer, and her breath caught.

Every single page. Covered.

"I love her." Scrawled in thick black ink, in blue biro, in messy pencil smudges. Tiny cursive looping between the margins. Huge block capitals scratched across the paper like someone had carved them with urgency. Page after page after page. Overlapping lines. Scribbled out and written again. Different hand pressures. Different pens. All the same sentence.

Tess's chest ached, just looking at it. "All of it?"

"All of it." Cook said hoarsely. "The whole book. Nothing else."

He finally looked at her. His eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with red from crying.

"It's like he lost it...Maybe he couldn't handle it all."

Tess shook her head, "Freds wouldn't do that," Convincing herself more than anything

"But he had packed a bag the night I found Effy hadn't he?" Cook said

Tess couldn't say anything more. She didn't want to believe Freddie would run like that.

So she just sat there beside him, the pages still open in his lap, the words repeating endlessly in the dim light. I love her. I love her. I love her.

Cook let out a long breath, almost a laugh but not quite. "Maybe he did leg it. Maybe he's fine. But this?" He tapped the page, voice quieter now. "This don't feel fine."

---

The walk was longer than it needed to be. Tess knew that — they both did — but neither of them mentioned it.

They were about ten minutes away from the adoption clinic.

"You've thought about it?" Katie asked eventually, "What kind of people might take it?"

It took Tess a second to realise what she meant. She blinked, staring at the ground as they walked.

"I dunno. Someone older, probably. With matching mugs and a nice big house."

Katie hummed. "Or maybe a couple that eats lentils and lives in Devon."

"God," Tess muttered. "You think they'll make it do yoga?"

"Only on Wednesdays."

They both smiled faintly.

"Could be a single mum," she added. "Maybe she's wanted a kid for years. Maybe she's got her shit together. Maybe she used to be wild and got tired of it."

Katie gave her a look. "Sounds familiar."

"Shut up."

They fell quiet again for a second, both picturing it. The baby. Somewhere else. Somewhere far from here.

"If none of this had happened..." Tess started, her voice lower now. "Like, if I'd never got pregnant, do you think about what we'd be doing right now?"

Katie looked over. "Not walking to a fucking adoption clinic I bet,"

"Obviously." Tess rolled her eyes, "We'd probably be drinking in that pissed-up old pub near the chippy."

Katie grinned. "Ordering shots and moaning about how no one texts back."

"We'd be so fucking stupid."

"Still are," Katie said, nudging her.

Tess glanced at her. "Would me and Cook even be together?"

Katie tilted her head. "Would he even be out of jail?"

Tess let out a real laugh then — bitter, but soft. "Fair."

"Maybe you'd be shagging someone bland with a job and a plan for the future," Katie mused. "You'd be pretending to enjoy their company and sending cute texts like 'hope you're having a good day babe x.'"

Tess groaned. "Ew."

"You'd be so bored you'd start cross-stitching."

"I'd actually die."

They grinned for a moment, letting that imaginary version of their lives exist. A fork in the road they never took.

Then, more softly, Katie said, "I've been thinking about leaving."

Tess turned. "Bristol?"

"Yeah. Just for a bit. Not forever." Katie shrugged. "Like... Spain maybe. Or South America. Somewhere with sun and cheap cocktails. Somewhere with fit guys."

Tess quirked a brow. "You got a type?"

"Honestly? At this point — international. Better than hanging about here waiting for my ovaries to turn to stone."

Tess made a face. "Jesus Katie."

Katie blew out a breath of cold air. "Just saying. I've got a free pass now. Might as well use it before everything goes to shit again."

Tess kicked at another stone. "You should go."

Katie blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah. But maybe wait till I give birth so you can still bring me snacks when I'm sobbing in bed."

Katie bumped her shoulder. "Deal."

They walked a bit further, and Tess looked up at the sky — dull and blank, like it was just waiting for the day to end.

"I haven't thought about what comes after," she said eventually. "Like, if we give the baby up... and I'm just here again. Alone. What do I even do?"

Katie tilted her head. "What do you want to do?"

Tess scoffed. "No clue. Be unemployed and depressed? End up like Doug? Stuck in a secondary school full of brats, slowly going insane?"

"Doug's alright."

Tess shrugged, "Maybe I'll become a receptionist at a dentist's office and start telling myself it's temporary."

"Maybe you'll write a book about all this." Katie joked

Tess raised an eyebrow. "A book?"

"Yeah. Sad girl, mad boy, too many cigarettes and a baby-shaped twist."

They both laughed again, the sound trailing behind them like the tail end of a song they didn't want to finish.

Ahead, the clinic came into view. Low brick building, windows too clean, sign too polite.

Tess slowed a little. So did Katie.

They didn't say anything right away.

Then Katie reached out, gently took Tess's hand.

"I'm proud of you, you know."

Tess stared at the door.

"Don't be yet," she murmured. "We haven't even gone in."

But she didn't pull her hand away.

----

Tess sat slouched in a plastic chair, fingers tapping anxiously on the armrest. Katie sat beside her, legs crossed, flicking through an old travel magazine without reading a single word.

The woman who eventually called them in had soft eyes and a calm voice, which only made Tess feel more on edge. Her name was Lynn. She offered them water. They declined.

They sat across from her in a small office that smelt faintly of lemon cleaning spray and something clinical underneath. There were laminated posters on the wall with cheerful fonts — Every Child Deserves a Home — and a bookshelf lined with binders and tissue boxes.

Lynn folded her hands on the desk and looked up at Tess gently.

Lynn gave a kind, measured pause. "So, what's next?"

Tess opened her mouth. Then shut it.

"Well I've got a three-hour shift soon," she muttered. "And then I suppose I'll—"

Lynn shook her head softly. "No. I mean... with the baby."

Tess's stomach twisted. She glanced at Katie, who gave her a small nod, like she was saying it's okay to not know yet.

"I don't know," Tess admitted. Her voice wasn't small — it was flat. Honest. "Some days I think I can do it. Be someone's mum. Then other days I'm like... I can't even commit to a shampoo brand, let alone... you know."

Lynn smiled a little. "It's okay not to be certain. That's part of why we're here."

She reached into a drawer and pulled out a thick binder — navy blue, with a small gold sticker on the front that said Families. She slid it gently across the desk toward Tess.

"You don't have to look. But sometimes it helps. Even just to see what's possible."

Tess hesitated, then opened it. Inside were printed pages in plastic sleeves — smiling couples, single parents, people with dogs, big gardens, silly matching Christmas jumpers. Some pages had drawings from future siblings. One couple had written a letter that started with We've been dreaming about meeting you.

Tess turned another page. A photo of a woman standing in front of a greenhouse. She had kind eyes and a cat curled on her shoulder.

"She looks like she sings to her plants," Katie whispered, peering over.

They kept flipping. A man in his thirties with a beaming smile, holding a toddler on his hip. A couple with a golden retriever and a baby swing in their backyard. A pair of teachers who loved hiking. Tess paused.

"They're all so... proper," she murmured.

"They're ready," Lynn said gently. "They've been waiting a long time."

Tess didn't say anything for a moment. Then: "Do any of them change their mind?"

"Rarely," Lynn said. "It's usually more... the other way around."

Tess swallowed.

"And what if I change my mind?" she asked.

"Then we talk. We figure it out. This isn't binding, hon. It's just a conversation."

Tess stared at the page for a while longer. Then she closed the binder, her hand resting lightly on the cover.

"I just... don't want to fuck someone up," she said quietly. "Because I probably will If I keep it, and well if I don't who knows what it'll turn like, you know what they say about adopted kids right?"

"You're not," Lynn said, without hesitation. "You're trying to give them the best start. However that looks. That's not messing anyone up."

Tess looked down at her lap.

Katie reached over and gave her hand a small, firm squeeze.

Lynn gave them a moment, then asked gently, "And is the father in the picture?"

Tess hesitated.

She opened her mouth to say yeah, then closed it again. Technically he was. He just... wasn't supposed to be. Technically he was supposed to be in prison.

But instead she thought about what he'd be like, sat in this chair next to her.

She could almost see him, slouched low like it was a joke, flicking through the family binder with a baffled look.

He'd flip to the next page. "What about them? They've got a fuckin' trampoline. Can we visit first? Test bounce?"

He'd probably ask the dumbest questions in the world, too. Tess would tell him it was stupid and Lynn would probably say something cliche like, "There's no such thing as a stupid question."

Tess let out a small breath, halfway between a laugh and a sigh and settled on, "It's complicated."

Lynn smiled. "Still. If he wants to be part of the process, he's welcome to attend a session, or a meeting. If... that's possible."

Katie and Tess exchanged a glance.

Lynn nodded, making a note with her pen.

Tess glanced again at the closed binder on the desk. All those people. All those possibilities. Somewhere out there, maybe one of them would be it. Or maybe not.

But for now, the question was asked. And that mattered.

Even if the answer still felt miles away.

----

Tess leaned against a stack of unopened boxes, arms folded, watching Thomas half-heartedly restock a shelf of gummy worms and JJ was behind the counter fiddling with the barcode scanner. It was a particularly quiet afternoon at work but Tess still wanted to get out of there.

"I swear this job is slowly liquefying my brain," Tess muttered. "I spent ten minutes earlier trying to remember if theres a yellow flavoured jelly belly."

"There is." JJ said without looking up. "But the lemons lying to you,"

Thomas chuckled. "You need fresh air."

"I need an exit plan." Tess muttered

JJ straightened up, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've been showing Albert magic tricks. Just the simple stuff. Sleight of hand, disappearing coins — wonder and delight."

Tess blinked. "Isn't he like... 10 months old?"

"Exactly," JJ said. "Get into the subconscious early. Lay the foundations."

Thomas grinned. "I admire your commitment."

JJ shrugged like it was the most logical thing in the world. "I'm prepping a full routine for Cook Junior too."

Thomas scoffed, "Cook Senior would probably love the magic more."

Tess narrowed her eyes. "Hang on — why is it automatically Cook Junior? Not Tess Junior?"

JJ shrugged. "Freddie's positive, it's a boy and I surprisingly trust his judgement."

Thomas shook his head laughing. "Nah, it's definitely a girl."

"We'll see who's laughing in two months when you all owe me," JJ shot back.

Tess raised an eyebrow. "Hold on, is there some kind of bet going on?"

Thomas grinned, caught out. "...Maybe."

JJ blurted it anyway. "Thomas, Emily, and Pandora say girl. Katie, Naomi, Freddie and I know it's a boy."

Tess shook her head, amused by her friend's stupid bet. She hadn't even thought about if she wanted a girl or a boy- She supposed it didn't matter.

"People get really into this gender guessing thing, huh?"

JJ and Thomas were still bickering lightly when Thomas said, "What even makes Freddie qualified?"

"Moving on," Tess piped up, "Have any of you talked to Freds recently?"

JJ hesitated. "Come to think of it, I haven't. I would assume he's by Effys bedside 6 out of 7 days."

Thomas looked over. "I haven't seen him either."

"That's what I thought too," Tess said quietly. "But I saw her the other day. He hadn't visited."

Thomas frowned.

JJ glanced between them. "Think he's alright?"

Tess didn't answer. Just tugged at a loose thread on her sleeve.

The silence lingered for a beat too long before Thomas changed the subject.

Then Thomas clapped his hands. "Right. That's me done. My shift's over."

"Hey me too!" Tess grinned

JJ groaned. "You're leaving me? Alone? With the gummy mice?"

But then Thomas casually grabbed a bag of chocolate buttons and a pack of sour apple laces and dropped them on the counter.

Tess eyed them. "Didn't peg you for a sour laces kind of guy."

"They're Panda's favourites," Thomas said lightly.

"Ooooh," Tess and JJ said in perfect unison.

JJ scanned the sweets slowly, smirking. "So. The French study plan... did she take the bait?"

Thomas smiled. "She saw us. Definitely. Whether it worked or not is... well I hope it did."

Tess gave him a soft nudge. "I'm sure it did."

He smiled again, then held the door open for her as they stepped out into the cooling evening.

The streets were quiet and cold, the last bits of afternoon sun peeking behind the clouds. Tess tucked her hands into her coat pockets as Thomas adjusted the strap of his backpack.

"I'm getting the bus," she announced. "My legs have clocked out."

Thomas stretched his arms overhead. "I'm gonna run."

Tess stared at him. "Are you mental?"

"I've been running a lot lately," he said. "Met a guy at the athletics track. Said I've got a shot at some fancy place with a scholarship."

Tess raised her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I've not told Panda yet. But I want to. When it's real."

Tess gave a small nod. "Thats- thats amazing Thomas!"

Thomas took a step toward the road, grinning. "Race you?"

She glanced toward the bus stop. "You're on foot. I've got public transport."

"Still think I've got a chance."

Tess shook her head, grinning despite herself. "You're deluded."

And then he took off down the pavement, legs moving fast and light.

----

Tess trudged up the stairs, out of breath and mildly pissed off that Thomas had actually managed to beat her back. She'd expected the bus to win by a landslide, but no. There he'd been, smug as anything, already tucking into a banana on the porch.

Her legs ached, her coat felt damp from the cold, and all she wanted was to collapse.

She pushed open the door to the upstairs room.

The light was dim — just the faint orange glow from a lamp and the soft hum of some old indie CD playing from a speaker on the floor.

Katie was curled up on a mattress in the corner, an arm slung over her eyes, breathing soft and slow. Cook was propped up shirtless on his own mattress, elbows resting behind him, a cigarette burned low in an ashtray beside him. That beat-up book Karen gave him was balanced on his lap, pages half-folded.

He looked up when she entered, and just for a moment, his expression softened like he forgot to be on guard.

"How was work?" he asked, voice low.

Tess rolled her eyes, flopping backward onto the mattress. "Long. JJ's already plotting on showing this kid his whole magic routine. Thomas bought sour laces for Pandora. I restocked marshmallows for an hour and seriously considered faking a faint."

Cook chuckled.

She turned her head toward him. "I told you about the adoption centre, yeah?"

That got his attention. He glanced over.

Tess sat up, crossing her legs. "They had this massive binder. Full of prospective families. Like some weird reality dating show but for babies. Profiles, pets, jobs, one guy even included his gym routine."

Cook's eyebrow lifted. "Did he say he could deadlift a child?"

Tess smirked. "Basically. And then there was this couple who run a vegan candle business and want to name the baby 'Ocean.'"

Cook pulled a face. "Sounds like a cult."

"That's what I said."

They were quiet for a moment. Then Tess added, a bit more hesitantly, "Some of them seemed alright though. One woman was some successful business-y person. Another couple had been on the list for, like, five years. Made me feel weird..."

Cook's fingers stilled on the book.

"You thinking about it?" he asked, not accusing. Just... quiet.

Tess didn't answer straight away. She rubbed a hand over her face.

"I don't know. I mean... yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes it feels like it'd be the right thing. But then I think about them—like Ocean Lady—and I feel sick."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"And other times," she added, "it feels like no matter who it is, no one would ever know how to... love them properly. Not like we would. Even if we're a fucking disaster."

Cook gave a breathy little laugh. But he didn't say much else, clearly distracted. Just sat there, jaw tense, gaze unfocused.

Tess watched him for a moment, then frowned. "You alright?"

"Yeah."

"Cook."

"It's nothing, just..." He hesitated. "It's Freds."

Tess sat up straighter. "What about him?"

Cook's voice cracked. "I don't know. I just—last time I saw him, we weren't... it wasn't great. We haven't been for, for ages. And now he's just... gone."

"He's not gone, Cook."

Cook looked at her, eyes suddenly hard. "Well, he's not here, is he?"

The silence that followed was heavy.

Tess swallowed. "Maybe he's gone away for a bit. Maybe he needed space. But he wouldn't ever really leave you. Or Effy. Christ, even Karen. ..He wouldn't. Not forever."

Cook blinked fast. Looked down. Then reached for the book in his lap and flipped it open.

"You remember all the crazy 'I love her' shit in here?" he murmured. "Well I found somethin' else."

He turned a few more pages and then stopped.

There, scrawled over the mess of declarations, was something different. Something deliberate.

JOHN FOSTER WANTS TO HURT HER.

The handwriting was darker, bigger. Like it was carved in panic.

Tess leaned in, staring.

"What the fuck..."

"Do you know him?" Cook asked, eyes on her now.

Tess nodded slowly, face paling. "Yeah. Effy's therapist. I met him a couple times, he was sneaking around Effy's room. He gave me the absolute creeps."

Cook's eyes narrowed. "Hurt her how though?"

Tess was quiet a moment, chewing the inside of her cheek. "I don't know. I mean... he didn't exactly help her, did he?"

"Nah," Cook muttered. "Made her even more fuckin' mental."

Tess looked at the page again. "We all knew that in the end though, right? That he fucked her up. But this... this is something else."

They both stared at the words. The letters were angry. Desperate.

It didn't feel like something written for attention.

It felt like a warning no one had seen in time.

Cook suddenly glanced over his shoulder.

"See a ghost?" Tess joked, nudging his shoulder.

He didn't laugh. His whole body had gone tense.

"Did you hear that?"

Tess's smile faltered. "What?"

"That—" He paused, straining like he was trying to tune into a distant sound. His voice dropped lower. "It sounded like... never mind."

Tess tilted her head. "What do you mean 'never mind'?"

The door slammed open.

"Cook! Cook!" Pandora burst in, eyes wild. "Gotta go, Cookie—the fuzz!"

Tess barely had time to process before a voice rang out from downstairs, low and authoritative:

"It's the police. Open the door or we're coming in!"

Tess shot up like she'd been electrocuted. "What the fuck?"

Katie sat bolt upright from the mattress, hair a mess and blinking like she was still dreaming. "What the fuck's happening?!"

Cook was already on his feet, grabbing the notebook and tossing the cigarette into a glass of water.

"What the fuck!? Shit shit shit." Tess said pacing around the room

Downstairs, there was banging on the door, voices rising:

"James Cook! We know you're in there!"

"Cook was already halfway out the window. In shock, Tess reached for his hand — but he pulled away just as quickly."

"I love you alright?" he said, suddenly—urgently. Like it was all he could offer.

"Cook! fuck, fuck—" Tess said, voice breaking and staring out the window like she could rewind it, grab him, stop time.

She turned back, heart in her throat. "What do we do? What the fuck do we do?!"

Katie was already pulling on a jumper, breath short. "Just—breathe, alright? Don't say anything. They've got nothing without him."

Pandora closed the door again, pacing. "How did they find him?"

"I don't know!" Tess snapped, voice breaking. "This is bad. This is really really bad."

There was a loud crash. The front door gave way.

Footsteps thundered in the hall below.

"James Cook! Where are you?"

Then boots hit the stairs. Quick. Heavy. Coming for them.

Two officers appeared at the top, stern and breathless, one of them pointing directly at Tess.

Tess backed against the wall, hands shaking.

"Oi, you. Where's James Cook? Where is he?"

"I—I don't know," Tess said, too fast.

One stepped into the room. "Don't play games, love."

Katie jumped in, sharp. "She said she doesn't know."

"Who else is in the house?" the other officer asked, scanning the room.

Pandora raised both hands. "Just- just us I think!"

Tess could hear the police start to ask more questions like, "What's your connection to James Cook?"

But Tess's heart was still hammering. Her mind kept echoing those two words—I love you.

And the sight of his back disappearing through the window. Gone, just like that.