Tess~ 1

Tess had endured her fair share of awkward moments, but this one had to be up there. She and Michelle stood stiffly near the doorway, watching their dad play with someone else's kids. Holly and Jamie. Even their names annoyed her.

Tess didn't like them. She didn't know them well enough to have a legitimate reason, but she was sure they were the type of kids everyone fawned over. Cute kids on the outside but spoiled brats behind closed doors. That kind of golden-child, perfect energy just like their mother.

Their dad looked at ease in a way Tess couldn't remember ever seeing before. He crouched on the floor, laughing as James attempted to stack a tower of blocks while Holly shouted orders like a miniature dictator. Tess couldn't stand to look for too long—it felt like a punch to the gut every time he smiled at them.

"So...," Michelle muttered, crossing her arms and shifting her weight uncomfortably.

Tess gave a dry laugh. "Yeah. A family man now, apparently."

They had learned the story over a tense lunch. Their dad had met Louise through a programme; she had helped him "get better." Tess hated the implication that Louise had "fixed" him. That Louise had seen the hollow, selfish shell of a man he used to be and had decided he was worth saving. It infuriated her. How could someone like Louise—put-together, picture-perfect Louise, who looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine—see something in him? It didn't add up.

"You know what I hate the most?" Tess said under her breath to Michelle, watching as Louise handed Holly a juice box with a smile so warm it almost burned.

"What?"

"That she's nice," Tess spat. "Like genuinely nice. Who does that?"

Michelle snorted. "Yeah, she's a saint. Why is she with him again?"

The conversation with Michelle fizzled into an awkward silence as Louise's sharp, manicured voice called over to them.

"Tess, Michelle! Come sit down, don't be shy," Louise said, her tone warm but almost too practiced. She waved them over to the sitting area like she was hosting some kind of tea party.

Tess exchanged a look with Michelle. "Here we go," Michelle muttered under her breath, straightening her posture as they trudged over.

The two sat stiffly on the plush sofa while Louise perched gracefully in a nearby armchair. She crossed her legs and smiled at them both. "So, how's school going?"

"It's... going well, thanks," Michelle answered after a brief pause.

"Yeah it's ok" Tess said curtly, not bothering to elaborate.

Louise didn't seem fazed. "Well, that's good. You're at that age where things really start to fall into place, aren't you? Lots of responsibility, planning for the future..."

Tess resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Louise's pleasant tone grated on her nerves. She wasn't sure what was worse—her overly polite small talk or the fact that it all seemed so genuine.

Their dad chimed in from the kitchen. "Louise works with young kids at schools, don't you love?"

"like a school therapist?" Tess asked, genuinely curious

Louise laughed lightly, brushing it off. "Well technically yes but I do other stuff too" She turned her attention back to the girls. "What are you thinking of doing after school?"

Michelle answered with something vague about university, and Tess shrugged, muttering, "Haven't decided yet."

Their dad suddenly excused himself to use the bathroom, and Tess heard the kettle whistling in the kitchen. Louise got up gracefully. "I'll just grab that. Be right back!"

And then, they were alone—with the kids.

Jamie wandered over to the coffee table, clutching a crayon in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. He glanced up at Tess with wide eyes. "Do you wanna draw with me?"

Tess blinked, caught off guard. "Uh...I guess?"

he said brightly, shoving the paper toward her. " Look, I'll show you what I've done!" He began enthusiastically drawing a series of wavy lines, explaining them as "magic snakes."

Tess couldn't help the tiniest smile tugging at her lips. "Magic snakes, huh? Impressive."

Meanwhile, Holly lounged dramatically on the sofa, swinging her legs. "Jamie, stop being weird. They're too old to play with you." She shot Tess and Michelle a disdainful look

Tess scoffed "Sorry aren't you like 8 years old shouldn't you be the one playing"

Holly's face soured "Im nearly 11, idiot"

"Charming," Michelle muttered under her breath to Tess, who stifled a laugh.

Jamie held up his paper. "Look, I made you a snake!"

Tess took it from him, pretending to study it. "Not bad. What's its name?"

"Mr. Wiggles!" He beamed.

"Solid choice," Tess said, handing it back. She glanced at Michelle, who was biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"Why don't you live here? In dads new house?" Jamie asked out of the blue

Michelle looked taken aback "Umm.... it's complicated alright?"

Holly chimed in, her tone annoyingly matter-of-fact. "Mum says Dad used to be really sad before he met her."

Tess felt something twist in her chest."That's one way to describe it."

Michelle, sensing the tension, quickly cut in "Tess. don't"

The sound of the kettle stopped, and a moment later, Louise returned with a tray of tea and biscuits, smiling as if she hadn't just left them to fend for themselves.

"Everything okay?" she asked, setting the tray down.

"Perfect," Tess said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Louise didn't seem to notice. She handed out cups of tea, chatting cheerfully as if the tension in the room didn't exist. Tess sipped hers quietly, avoiding eye contact with Holly, who was smirking like she'd won some imaginary battle.

Tess leaned toward Michelle, whispering, "I told you. Torture."

Michelle nodded grimly, staring into her tea. If this was a glimpse of her dad's new, improved life, she wanted no part of it.

—-

Tess shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her coat, the cold air biting at her fingers, the weight of the afternoon's awkwardness still hanging over her like a cloud.

The walk back from their dad's house had been quiet, with only the sound of their footsteps and the occasional shuffle of the wind. Michelle had been quiet too, which was unusual for her. Normally, she couldn't keep her mouth shut for more than a minute, but today, she seemed just as lost in her thoughts as Tess was. The whole thing had been uncomfortable. Seeing their dad with Louise and her kids, pretending like everything was fine, like they were just one big happy family.

"Do you think he's actually changed?" Michelle had asked, her voice quieter than usual. Tess had shrugged, not sure how to answer, because the truth was, she didn't know. Maybe he had changed, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like he was just better at pretending. Better at putting on a show for everyone else.

Tess kicked a stray rock, watching it bounce off the pavement and disappear into the gutter. "I think he's just learned how to fake it better," she muttered under her breath

Michelle didn't respond right away, but Tess could feel her eyes on her, like Michelle was waiting for her to crack

"Do you think we matter, Chelle?" Tess asked, her voice small.It did feel like they didn't matter anymore. Not to him, anyway.

"We do matter," Michelle nodded, convincing herself more than anything

The rest of the walk had been in silence, both of them lost in their own heads, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. Tess didn't even know what to make of it. She'd spent years waiting for their dad to be someone they could rely on, someone they could look up to, but all he'd ever done was disappoint them. And now, it felt like he was trying to replace them. Trying to replace her.

As they reached their front door, Michelle stopped and looked at Tess for a moment. "Hey," she said softly. "We'll figure it out, yeah?"

Michelles eyes softened, and for a second, Tess saw the little girl that she used to be—the one who still believed things could get better, even when they didn't feel like it.

"Yeah," Tess said, her voice steady now. "We always do."

They stepped inside, the warmth of the house a stark contrast to the icy chill that had followed them home.

—-

Tess pushed through the door open with her shoulder, juggling an armful of groceries, while Michelle darted ahead, her bag swinging wildly as she yelled, "Mum! Paul! We're home!"

The smell of something rich and buttery drifted through the air, making Tess wrinkle her nose. It was too fancy—she could already tell.

"In the kitchen!" their mum called back, her voice bright and cheerful in a way that made Tess suspicious.

Tess followed, lugging the groceries onto the counter. Paul was standing by the stove in his ever-present checkered apron, stirring something in a pan that smelled absurdly decadent. He looked up when they walked in, his face lighting up.

"Ah, my helpers have arrived," he said, wiping his hands on a towel.

"Not helpers," Tess corrected, dumping the bag onto the counter. "Table-setters. There's a difference."

Paul ignored her, rummaging through the groceries like a kid on Christmas morning. "Perfect. Just what I needed. Tonight's menu is lobster ravioli and a surprise for dessert."

Tess blinked at him. "You realise this is dinner, not a five-star restaurant, right?"

Paul grinned. "You'll thank me once you see how fresh that lobster is!."

"I hate lobster," Tess shot back.

Michelle smirked, leaning against the counter. "Tess you've never even tried lobster"

Tess glared at her. "Ok but.... I can tell I don't like it."

Their mum breezed into the room, a glass of wine in hand. "Tess, don't be rude," she said, though her tone was more amused than scolding. She leaned over to kiss Paul on the cheek. "It sounds lovely, darling."

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving a hand. "I'll convert them eventually."

Before anyone could argue further, the sound of the front door opening echoed through the house. Michelle perked up immediately, her eyes lighting up.

"Tony!"

She bolted out of the kitchen before Tess could say anything. Tess rolled her eyes. Tony was unfortunately invited to this already dull family dinner. He had been away at uni and Michelle had been driving her mad banging on about him all the time.

Tess walked out to the hall just in time to see Michelle practically throw herself at Tony, who caught her with an easy laugh. "Missed me, huh?"

"You've been gone for weeks!" Michelle said, her arms still wrapped tightly around him.

"It's been a month," Tess pointed out, leaning against the wall.

Tony grinned over Michelle's shoulder. "And yet, here you are, counting the days."

"Hardly," Tess said flatly. "Michelle just hasn't shut up about you."

Michelle pulled back, glaring at Tess. "Don't be a brat."

Tony smirked. "Nice to see you too, Tess." He shifted his bag on his shoulder.

Michelle rolled her eyes and grabbed Tony's hand, practically dragging him toward the kitchen. "Come on, Paul's making something fancy. You'll love it."

Paul brought out the lobster ravioli first, serving everyone with a flourish. Tess poked at hers with a fork, she couldn't think of anything more repulsive than seafood.

"So," Paul said, breaking the silence as he poured wine for their mum. "How was lunch with your dad?"

Michelle hesitated, glancing at Tess. "It was alright."

Tess laughed "it was shit."

Anna sighed, "Tess, please"

Tess rolled her eyes. "Okay, it was lovely spending the morning with dad playing happy families with his perfect wife and perfect kids!" she said sarcastically

Their mum sighed, setting her glass down. "I'm sure they're alright"

"Mum i'm telling you, you wouldn't have survived, it was hell" Michelle said quickly.

Paul cleared his throat, trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters. "Well, I'm glad you made it through. And now you're here, with a proper meal to make up for it."

"Proper meal?" Tess muttered.

The conversation flowed after that, moving from Tony's university stories to Paul's latest experiments in the kitchen. Tess stayed quiet for most of it, picking at her food and half-listening as Tony charmed their mum with stories about his professors and classmates.

It wasn't perfect, but it was better than lunch.

Tess was sprawled out on the couch after dessert, headphones on, letting her music drown out the world. The dimly lit lounge was her sanctuary, at least until Michelle and Tony barged in, laughter echoing down the hall. She didn't bother looking up, though she braced herself for the inevitable interruption.

Michelle flopped onto the armchair, tossing a bowl of chips onto her lap. Tony followed, dropping onto the other end of the couch and immediately flicking on the TV. The sound of their chatter blended with the blaring screen, making Tess groan as she yanked off her headphones.

"Do you mind?" she snapped, glaring at them.

Tony smirked, leaning back with an arm draped over the couch. "What, us? Just trying to enjoy some quality time."

"Yeah, well, bond somewhere else," Tess muttered, sitting up and crossing her arms.

Tony ignored her tone, tilting his head. "So, how's college? Met anyone interesting yet? Or is it still just as miserable as it was when we went"

Tess narrowed her eyes. "It's fine."

"Fine?" Tony repeated, grinning. "Come on, Tess. You've got to give me more than that. What's the gossip? Any dramatic love triangles? That Tom bloke still teaching?"

"Yeah, he's still there," Tess said flatly. "And no, there's no drama. Sorry to disappoint."

Michelle snorted, "Yeah right no drama my arse"

Tony chuckled. "Probably Effy's doing then"

Tess sighed, he was right. "How'd you guess?"

Tony leaned forward, his tone shifting slightly. "How's she been then?"

Tess hesitated, her expression hardening. "Why don't you go home and find out for yourself?"

Tony held her gaze, his smirk fading into something more serious. "I will. Just thought you might know, considering..."

"Considering what?" Tess shot back, her voice sharp.

"Considering you hang out right?" Tony said casually, though his eyes were sharper than his tone.

Tess shrugged, leaning back against the couch. "She's fine. Or as fine as she ever is."

"Right." Tony's jaw tightened slightly, but he didn't push further. "How's she doing at college?"

"Ask her."

Michelle, sensing the tension, jumped in. "Anyway! Mum and Paul are going away next weekend for their anniversary."

"Shocked it's lasted a year," Tess muttered, grateful for the change of subject.

Michelle grinned. "Same. But we're thinking of having everyone over while they're gone, Sid and Cas are back and we're gonna invite everyone else."

"You can invite your school friends too," Tony added, his smirk returning.

Tess shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."

"Effy can come too," Michelle said brightly. "It'll be fun."

"Yeah, loads," Tess said sarcastically, slipping her headphones back on.

"You're the life of the party, really," Tony teased.

Tess just flipped him off, the music already drowning them out as they laughed.

—-

Lunch finally arrived and Tess made her way to the common room, where JJ immediately caught her attention, waving her over to join a game of foosball with Freddie. Pandora had just lost to Freddie, and JJ, clearly excited to play, was pulling Tess into the game.

"Come on, Tess! Your turn!" JJ grinned.

"Ugh, do I have to?" Tess muttered, but she joined him anyway, sitting across from Freddie, who was grinning like he already knew he was going to win.

As they played, Tess couldn't help but notice Cook standing off to the side, leaning casually against the wall, his arms crossed as he watched them. Her stomach twisted, a reminder of the awkwardness from the other night when he'd taken her home after finding her drunk and passed out. They hadn't talked about it since, and Tess wasn't quite sure what to say if she ever did.

Then, just as Tess was about to make a move, Katie ran over to her excitedly

"I've got it all sorted," Katie said with a grin. "The party is happening. I've invited a bunch of people from school you know?" She shrugged, clearly pleased with herself. "It's gonna be great. You're all invited, of course."

Tess's face dropped. "Wait, what? You invited everyone?"

Katie shrugged again. "Well, not everyone. I mean, it's gonna be fun. Don't worry about it."

Tess barely held back a groan. "Great. Michelles gonna be happy."

Katie grinned, unfazed. "Relax. It'll be chill. Trust me."

Tess wasn't convinced. As Katie walked off to talk to someone else, Freddie chimed in

"So is this Katies party or?" he asked

"No. it's technically my sisters but I somehow got into this mess" Tess groaned, re-setting the ball

"Well your first mistake was telling Katie about an empty house" he chuckled before scoring a point, catching her of guard

Tess protested "Hey that's not fair! You were talking to me and I was clearly not set up and ready yet"

JJ clapped his hands together "Fredstar wins again!" he cheered "My turn now"

Tess laughed, "Good luck J, this guys a cheat"

Tess made her way over to the vending machine to buy a chocolate bar but Effy startled her before she could even think about what flavour she wanted.

"Fuck Ef" Tess jumped "Why are you always just quietly lurking behind every corner"

"It's fun" Effy smiled mischievously "So this party huh?"

Tess nodded "You should come, I mean you are the only one invited originally before Katie went and told the whole school"

"That should be fun then" She said dryly

Tess wasn't so sure

"Sooo Tony's back. He came over last night" Tess added

"I know. He came this morning. it was... uneventful" Effy said almost sadly

"Well good that he's back for a bit right? Since... well- you know?" Tess stumbled over her words, trying to approach the topic carefully

"Maybe" Effy shrugged "It won't help though"

Tess felt a pang of sympathy "He might surprise you"

Effy just stared at the wall in front of her "Nothing surprises me" she said coolly

—----

Tess had so far had a surprisingly relaxing day. Her classes were decent, and for once, there wasn't any fresh drama-well, there was plenty, but no one was doing anything about it. It created an illusion of peace, and Tess made the most of it. She got home, opened her window for a secret smoke, did her nails in glittery red polish, and let herself have a rare moment to reset. For the first time in what felt like weeks, she wasn't spiraling.

But, of course, it couldn't last.

Her phone buzzed just as she was about to add a second coat of polish. She sighed, set the brush down carefully, and reached for her phone. When she saw the name on the screen, her stomach sank.

Theo.

Her hand froze over the screen, her chest tightening as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Against her better judgment, she opened the message.

Theo: We need to talk.

Tess stared at the words, her lip curling in frustration. We need to talk. Always the same tone, always the same insinuation that he was the one being reasonable, that she was the problem.

Her fingers hovered over the screen, her mind racing. Finally, she typed back:I don't want to talk.

She hit send and tossed her phone onto the bed, her heart hammering. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't want to think about him. But there he was, invading her peace like he always did.

Her chest felt tight, her skin buzzing with restless energy. She couldn't sit in the house, not with Theo's name bouncing around her head. She needed air, needed to walk it off, maybe head down to the docks where the water always helped her clear her mind.

Tess grabbed her jacket and went to reach for her bag—the one she always used—but it wasn't where it should've been. She checked the usual spots, growing more agitated with every second. After a solid five minutes of rummaging and swearing under her breath, she gave up and reached for an old bag shoved in the back of her closet.

"Whatever," she muttered, pulling it out.

As she opened it to check the contents, something caught her eye—a familiar notebook, its edges frayed and its once-bright cover now faded and worn. Tess froze, her pulse slowing as recognition hit her.

Her old notebook.

She sank onto the edge of her bed, the walk forgotten, and opened it. The first few entries were innocent, filled with doodles and glitter pens, the handwriting wobbly and uneven about fights with Michelle or 'reasons I need a cat'

Tess laughed softly at the memories, her heart warming for a moment. But as she flipped through the pages, the tone shifted. The glitter pen and doodles faded, replaced by smudged ink and scribbled words pressed so hard into the paper they nearly tore.

I had my first kiss today. Katie will be happy. He said I was the coolest girl he'd ever met. I think I really like him.

Tess did really like him at first but that soon changed

He called me an ugly whore. Right to my face in front of everyone. And then he told my friends I tried to get back with him. Why does he keep doing this? Everyone at school thinks I'm a slut because of him. I hate him. I hate him. I HATE HIM.

Tess slammed the notebook shut, her chest heaving. Her hands trembled as memories she'd long buried came rushing back.

It had started so innocently. Tess didn't expect much when she first met Angus. He was a year older, cocky, and too good-looking for his own good. They met at a party she wasn't even supposed to be at, one she had lied to her mum about. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, surrounded by people who hung onto his every word. Tess was drawn to him like everyone else, though she told herself she wasn't.

Angus seemed to zero in on her immediately, handing her a drink and teasing her."You're not scared, are you?" he said, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. She laughed it off, wanting to seem cool, and he took it as encouragement, bringing her drink after drink.

That was how it started.

Angus had a knack for making Tess feel like she was part of something bigger than herself and the more time she spent with him, the more her life started to revolve around him.He'd text her after school, telling her to come hang out with him and his friends, introducing her to a world of drinking, drugs and boys. At first, it was exciting—he made her feel older, freer, and cooler but it soon took a turn for the worse.

He'd invite her over, and when they were alone, his playful teasing would shift. "Come on, Tess," he'd say, his tone light but insistent. "You trust me, don't you?"

At first, it was small things—kisses that lingered too long, hands that wandered even when she wasn't sure she wanted them to. Every time she hesitated, Angus brushed it off, making her feel like she was overreacting.

"Relax, it's not a big deal." he'd say, laughing.

But it was a big deal to Tess.

The first time they went further than she wanted, she felt numb. He didn't force her physically, but his words—his constant pushing—made her feel trapped. Afterward, he acted like it was nothing, and Tess, ashamed and confused, convinced herself it had to be nothing.

"It's normal," Angus had said, brushing her hair behind her ear like he cared. "Don't be so dramatic."

By the time he was sick of Tess he'd spread rumours about her, telling people she was "easy" and bragging about their hookups to anyone who would listen.

The worst part was how much Tess blamed herself. For drinking too much, for letting him in, for staying even when she knew it wasn't right. The shame and guilt ate at her, and she started turning to the very things Angus had introduced her to—drinking, parties, boys, distractions—to cope.

It wasn't until months later, after Angus had moved on to someone else - one of her closest friends, that Tess began to see things clearly. He hadn't cared about her. He'd used her, manipulated her, and left her to pick up the pieces.

Tess wiped her eyes, the tears falling faster than she could stop them. She hated that he still had this power over her, that even years later, his shadow lingered in her life.

Her phone buzzed again, Theo's name lighting up the screen. Tess glared at it, anger flickering back to life. She wasn't that girl anymore. She wouldn't let herself be.

She grabbed the notebook and shoved it back into the bag, her jaw tightening. Maybe she couldn't erase the past, but she sure as hell wasn't going to let it define her future.