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ALL HE KNEW〖 chapter one 〗

REO HAS NEVER felt so exhausted in his entire life.

Most nights, he finds himself staring up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. Other nights, he feels barely conscious - his body drained, but his mind wide awake as he struggled to unwind.

He can't even remember the last time he had a proper rest - fuck, even when he first came to Blue Lock with Nagi, things were never this bad.

If he ever had trouble falling asleep, he'd simply rest his head on Nagi's chest and listen to his heartbeat. Sometimes he'd even settle for pressing his face against the front of his sweater, breathing in Nagi's warm, familiar scent as he held him close.

He didn't understand it. There was definitely something addictive, intoxicating, and good about Nagi that made Reo feel at peace- but now...

He was gone.

And this time, Reo didn't think he was coming back.

Reo feels tears prick at his eyes before bringing his sleeve to rub at his face. He clutches Nagi's pillow to his chest, exhaling softly.

"Damn it." Reo swears under his breath as he quickly sits up, reaching up and fisting at his hair.

Every now and then, the room's silence is punctuated by the loud sounds of Igaguri's snoring and the occasional rustle as he shifts in his sleep.

Huh. Maybe that's why Reo couldn't sleep. Fuck.

With a deep sigh, Reo turns his head to his left, honing in on Igaguri, limbs sprawled out and mouth wide open. He noisily grumbles as he turns over, flopping onto his stomach.

Reo watches as his arm nearly hits Shidou in the head before he miraculously pulls back, landing elsewhere.

God. That was too close.

Maybe the monk had god's blessing after all. Reo exhales softly, staring over at Shidou with big, nervous eyes.

Thankfully, he didn't stir.

To his relief, Shidou lay perfectly still, undisturbed and turned on his side, head resting against his upper arm, facing the opposite direction. Even as Reo stared at him, Igaguri's ominous warning from earlier still echoed around in his head.

"Don't ever wake Shidou up. He'll get real angry- and you won't like him when he's angry."

Reo wouldn't dream of it- he knew better than to be that stupid. He'd seen firsthand how violent and aggressive Shidou could get while in a bad mood, and he definitely didn't want to be the one on the receiving end of his wrath.

If only Chigiri and Kunigami were still here. If only Reo had been stronger, then maybe his situation would have been different.

Maybe he would still be with Nagi. Maybe...

Reo's eyes lower, a shaky breath escaping him.

He really was fucked up, huh. Even now he couldn't stop thinking about him- god. He really was pathetic; it was no wonder Nagi wanted nothing to do with him.

After all, he was weak. He'd done nothing but burden everyone around him, and...

Oh.

He doesn't even realize he's crying until a few tears roll down his face. He quickly wipes them away before rising to his feet.

He needed to get some air.

And so, as careful as ever, Reo slips out of bed. He moves as quietly as possible, each step deliberate and slow, his breath held in his throat as he makes his way to the door and into the hallway. Even when he steps outside, he makes sure to look around - just out of precaution.

He'd been awake a few times at this hour- and yet, there was something particularly eerie about tonight. As Reo makes his way down the dim corridors, he can't help but feel a strange sense of guilt gnawing at his stomach, the inexplicable feeling twisting in his chest.

Was there a chance that Nagi was feeling the exact same way? Reo purses his lips together. Maybe he was also having a hard time.

Maybe he couldn't sleep either. Maybe Reo should check on him.

He knew his room number. He knew where he would be, and...

Reo quickly forces the pathetic thought out of his head before turning into the restrooms, the harsh fluorescent lights flickering to life and casting a cold glow over the tiled floor. Doing a quick look over, Reo quickly scans the area, relieved (and a little disappointed) to find the room completely empty before making his way over to the sink.

At last. He could be alone.

And for the first time that night, Reo stares into his own reflection. With a little breath, Reo gripped the edge of the sink, staring into the mirror and at himself — the dark circles under his eyes and a hollow, exhausted look etched across his face.

He studies his features intently, sighing softly and hanging down his head.

Fuck. He was a complete mess. Unrecognizable. He doesn't know how he's let himself get to this point.

It was no wonder Shidou chose him over Kunigami. If anything, maybe he'd fucking pitied him- or maybe he found him weak. Pathetic. Easy to control.

That, or this was all a part of some sick, sadistic game he was conducting. Maybe Shidou wanted to test him. See how far he would go, just how much he could take before he finally broke, and...

God, he shouldn't even be here right now. With bloodshot eyes, Reo glances back up in the mirror, a painful memory surfacing. The last time he'd been here... it was with him, right? He can remember it all - his erratic breathing, the way he held him close- a familiar face nuzzling against his, muscular arms wrapped around him in a warm embrace.

Nagi had been so desperate for him.

He can remember the clumsy way their lips met, desperate as they traded little moans and whimpers into their wet kisses. God, if he tries hard enough, he can even imagine Nagi's scent- the comforting warmth radiating off his pale skin.

"Reo," Nagi had pulled away to catch his breath, pressing his lips to his ear. He didn't have to say anything else; Reo could already tell what he wanted without another word.

"Oh? What's gotten into you, hm?" Reo tilted his head back, reaching up to stroke through Nagi's tousled hair. "Does my treasure want a reward?"

Of course, Nagi nodded. And of course, Reo was more than willing to act on it.

God. Reo grits his teeth, his body going rigid as a flood of heat suddenly surges through him, the feeling quickly turning to frustration.

Even now, he can't forget him. After all, how could he?

He'd lost count of how many times he'd meet with Nagi to do something like this. To reward him for his hard work, to incentivize him, or simply to be with him. Each time Reo could remember the way Nagi looked at him, the way he touched him...

It always felt good. Addictive. He always left Reo wanting more.

"Can I touch Reo this time?"

"You can touch me whenever you want, Nagi."

Reo shakily exhales, slipping one hand down his body and past the waistband of his slacks. He hunches over as he carefully wraps his hand around himself, his cock straining and dripping pre-come.

If he tried hard enough, Reo could imagine Nagi's hands on him. It was all he knew, anyhow.

Almost a little mechanically, Reo starts to stroke himself in earnest, helplessly bucking up into his warm hand. He lets out a strangled moan, his free hand flying up to muffle his sounds of pleasure as he tilts his head back.

Nagi would touch him just as he always did - slow, but gentle. Like he's trying to draw a reaction out of Reo and like he's too afraid to accidentally overwhelm or hurt him in any way. He'd hold Reo as he always did, stroking him slowly, hand fisted around his cock, heavy and full.

"Reo," Nagi whispered softly, his breath warm against his nape. "Do you like it here?"

"Yeah," Reo squirmed, practically arching in his grasp. "I love it. You're so good."

"Mm." Nagi nuzzled close. "I like it when Reo feels good."

"Fuck," Reo moans softly, his hand gripping the counter as he steadies himself. He lets his eyes flutter as he strokes himself desperately, the wet glide loud in the silence of the room.

"Reo," Nagi glanced at him, his eyes lowering, "Ah. You're leaking a lot."

Immediately, warmth flushes through him, spreading throughout his body like a wildfire. Reo gasps and tilts his head back, his hand moving faster.

"Nagi," Reo shuddered as Nagi's teeth lightly grazed over his shoulder. Over his neck. "Ah, Nagi, I-I..."

"I like you." Nagi whispered to his ear, his eyes fluttering. "I really like you, Reo."

Reo gasps, his hand gripping the counter even tighter.

He was close. Fuck, he was so close. Reo's brow furrows as he thrusts into his hand, his breathing coming out harder, more ragged. He's started to make noises under his breath, little whimpers and variations of Nagi's name.

Just a little more, and...

"Ah? What's this?"

〖  dopamine rush 〗© pinklock , 2024