Chapter 53

Finn and I just laying our body on my bed. We didnt talk or anything. I know that Kurt must be wearing his earplug and glad that he is sleeping in the opposite room.

Deep down, I'm happy Finn is here but I dont understand why he is here? We usually cuddle and hugging at each other as we both are big cuddler but now everything is changed.

"I dont understand, why are you here, Finn?" I ask without looking at him.

"I'm trying to fix everything between us." Finn says.

I just being quiet and let out a sigh. I know that he must be want to beg me to getting back together with him. I know I love him but I need time. I never been so hurt in love like this before and my faith just gone away.

"I will back home on Mr. Schue's wedding day." I simply said.

"That great. And after that I will back to college." Finn simply said.

"Yeah that's cool." I simply nodded.

I really hate this awkward moment. I know there is something wrong between us and we shouldnt lay our body next to each other and pretend like everything is fine.

Suddenly a phone vibrating. I take my phone from my side table and my phone isnt ringing so it must be Finn's.

"Rachel must be want you stay with her not here. And she cant stop calling you." I simply said.

"I blocked her number. And all her social media from mine so she cant contact me anymore." Finn says.

"Why?" I ask him.

"I'm trying to take your faith back to me." Finn simply said.

"Finn, we arent together anymore and you can do anything you want to do and I have nothing to stop you." I said to him.

"I just want to fix everything between us. You said that you forgive me so..."

"I forgive you but I need time." I said without looking at him.

"For how long?" Finn asks me.

"I dont know." I shake my head.

"Is there any other guy?" Finn asks.

"No one. I just need time, Finn. I'm sorry."

"I know what I did was really bad and hurt you. I'm sorry." Finn simply said and turn off the lamp and make aslant backing me.

I'm still laying my body and looking at the ceiling with the darkness around us until tears slowly fall down to my face. I move my body make aslant backing him as tears still fall down to my face.

I dont know what to say or what to do. I love him. I keep my heart for him but I need time to get my faith back and it wont be easy because this is my first time being so hurt in love.

Finn's POV

"I forgive you but I need time." Madison simply said.

"For how long?" I turn my face at her.

"I dont know." She said without looking at me.

"Is there any other guy?" I ask.

"No one. I just need time, Finn. I'm sorry."

"I know what I did was really bad and hurt you. I'm sorry." I said and turn off the lamp and make aslant backing her.

We were like two stranger who turns into one room. We just lay our body on the same bed and didnt cuddle or hugging each other when the fact we used to do that even since before we dating.

But now everything is changed. I know there is something between us. I just want to fix everything and make it better but I also know Madison wont give me second chance that easily after what I've done even that only texting and hook-up text.

Suddenly I heard someone is sniffle. I move my body and turn my face at her. This room is dark but the light from the moon light us up here. Madison make aslant backing me and I know she must be crying again because of this.

Finn:She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,And we don't know how,How we got into this mad situation,Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,And we don't know how,How we got into this messIs it a God's test?Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start byDrinking old cheap bottles of wine,Sit talking up all night,Saying things we haven't for a whileA while, yeah,We're smiling but we're close to tears,Even after all these years,We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

OoooooOoooooOooooo

She's in line at the DOLEWith her head held high (high)While I just lost my job butDidn't lose my pride

But we both know how,How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,When you pick yourself up,You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,Man, these times are hard,

But we're gonna start byDrinking old cheap bottles of wine,Sit talking up all night,Doing things we haven't for a while,A while yeah,We're smiling but we're close to tears,Even after all these years,We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.

OooooOooooOoooo

Yeah...Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,Sit talking up all night,Saying things we haven't for a while,We're smiling but we're close to tears,Even after all these years,We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Ooooo yeah, for the first timeOoooo oh, for the first time,Yeah for the first time,Just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Oh these times are hard,Yeah, they're making us crazyDon't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard,Yeah, they're making us crazyDon't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard,Yeah, they're making us crazyDon't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard,Yeah, they're making us crazyDon't give up on me baby

I spread my arms and rub her hair as I'm still hear she is sniffle and this is just make me sad but I have to fix everything between us. I want my fiancé back. I want her back.

Madison is still sniffle while I rub her hair. I cant hold it anymore. My weakness I cant see her cry especially she is crying in front of me and I know it really well when she is crying over a guy. She just being quiet and never want to let anyone sees her because I always made her cried.

I move my body closer to her and hug her from behind and kiss her head. "I know you need time but let me hug you and fix everything slowly." I said to her. "Just dont ever give up on me even though these times are hard for us."

Madison is still sniffle and didnt say anything. I pull her body closer to me and wrap my hand around her belly until I feel she wrap my hands with her hands.

I love her and only her. There is nobody else and I bet she feel the same but things are wrong for us. We are so close right now when the fact that we are so far away to each other.

I just can close my eyes and still hugging her until no more sniffle sound. I guess that Madison is fall asleep. I kiss her cheek and go back to close my eyes and fall asleep next to each other even it's hurt enought for us.

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Madison's POV

I open my eyes slowly and turn my face at Finn who is still sleeping and make aslant backing me. I stand up from the bed and pull the blanket to cover his body then went out from my room.

"Somebody cried too much last night." Kurt says as he is sitting down on the sofa. "Thank God for earplug. I love you both but I dont want to hear anything." Kurt says to me.

"We didnt do anything. We just stayed up and laid there until I started speak out and I told him that I need time and but my stupid tears cant handle that and I cried and I know that Finn knew I was crying because of him and he-he hugged me and I fell asleep. It was really awkward. Seriously." I sigh and take a cup of hot milk.

"It was more awkward than Blaine and I when we spent Christmas together." Kurt says.

"It just confused myself, Kurt. I mean-I mean I love him. I know that but my faith gone away. And he just cant take it back because to fix faith it's really hard so I told him, I need time until...I dont know." I shrug and sit down next to Kurt.

"You know what? That's your choice. I forgive Blaine and I also still cant give my faith to him. Our problem is same." Kurt says to me.

"Yeah, I know that." I simply nodded.

"Dont worry, everything will be fine." Kurt rubs my back.

"Thank God I have a roommate." I said and lean my head on Kurt's shoulder.

"I didnt slept when Blaine left until I came for that Grease show and met Blaine but everything turns into epic fail." Kurt says to me.

"Sometimes, I dont wanna grow up. I just wanna go back to the time when Finn and I were ten and we were together and never think about something like this." I said to Kurt.

"Me too." Kurt nodded.

I turn my face to my room as I see Finn went out from my room and looking at us. "Morning, little bro." Finn says to Kurt.

"Morning, Finn." Kurt says. "Alright I wanna go exercise and if you're hungry just make a simple breakfast okay." Kurt says to us and walk out from the apartment.

I just stand up from my seat and walk to the kitchen. "Do you want some egg? Quick sandwiches maybe?" I ask Finn.

"Yeah thanks." Finn nodded.

"Here a warm milk." I take a cup of warm milk from the thermos and give it to him.

"Thanks. How you feel?" Finn asks me.

"Well, I'm good." I simply said and cook him breakfast.

"I will back to Lima this noon." Finn says to me.

I didnt say anything but keep making him breakfast. Honestly, I dont want him to leave that fast but I cant handle the awkward moment between us all the time he is here.

"Say something." Finn says as he is sitting down on the dining table.

"Well, you still have work in McKinley right. That's fine." I simply said and give him a plate of quick sandwich.

"Thank you." Finn half-smiled at me.

"It's okay." I nodded and walk to the bathroom to take a bath.

I really hate this awkward moment. I guess I could be cool in front of him but I was wrong. I cant do that. I really cant. Sometimes I just wish that these thing could happen but this is happening.

After taking a bath. I went out from the bathroom wearing a wardrobe and walk to my room to change my clothes. I take a long jeans and blue knit long sleeve shirt. It's Sunday and I dont have any plan to go out except doing homework.

Finn's POV

This is really awkward whereas we were hugging each other last night. But now everything back like it used to be and it's sucks actually.

I just can sit down on the dining table and looking at her who is busy with her laptop and sit down on the sofa. This apartment is not empty but we are like two stranger or maybe like we are living in two different dimensional.

I stand up from my seat and walk to the kitchen to wash this dishes. I really want to stay longer here but the awkward moment between us, I cant handle that.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I ask her.

"Yes, sure." She simply nodded.

I walk to the bathroom and take a bath. I will go back home this noon and I wont bring a good news for the others. It's sucks actually.

After taking a bath, I went out from the bathroom and take my ransel then change my clothes into another one. Then went out from the room with holding my ransel.

"You want me to carry you to the airport?" Madison asks me.

"You dont need to if you dont want to." I said to her.

"I'm bored actually. So..."

"Well, sure." I nodded. "My plane will take off in 90 minutes." I said to her.

"Okay, I'm getting ready." She said and walk to her room.

I dont know what is this. She suddenly said that she want to carried me to the airport. Well, just think that maybe we can have a little hang out before I go back home.

She went out from her room and wearing her ankle boots, shawl, also beanie hat and bring a slingbag.

"Come on. We can go buy burritos around here." Madison says and take her coat.

"Okay." I nodded and wear my coat then hold my ransel.

We then went out from the apartment and Madison lock the door and put the key into her bag. I just follow her and walk a bit behind her.

"Finn, I'm sorry about last night." Madison turn her face at me.

"What do you mean?" I raise my eyebrows.

"You sacrifice yourself to come here and meet me and hope that you want to fix everything between us. I-I really appreciated that but I need time. My faith is gone away and I cant go that fast." Madison says to me.

"I know that. I understand that." I half-smiled at her.

Yeah I know this is really hard for us especially her. I know she was the one who got hurt the most and it was my fault.

"And stop blame yourself. I forgive you." Madison half-smiled at me.

"Yeah thank you." I nodded.

"Want to buy hotdog over there? Come on." Madison takes my hand and walk lead me.

I just built a smile on my face and turn my face at my hand as she is still holding my hand. I just really want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her and feel sorry for that.

"Two please." Madison says to the seller.

"You really will come to Mr. Schue's wedding right? You want to go there with me?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah sure. We can go there as bestfriend." Madison nodded.

Yeah. And maybe I can make a little surprise for her to celebrate valentines and prove her that I really mean my apology and show her that my love is only for her.

"Here. One for you." Madison give me a paper plate with hotdog on it.

"Thank you." I smile at her.

"It's okay." Madison nodded as we walk together until she stops her way and sit down on a street bench. "I'm sorry, I cant give you health and tasty food while you stay here."

"It's okay. I'm glad to be here." I said to her. "Stay here. I wanna buy drink for us." I said to her and look around.

I look around and find a coffee shop. I walk to that coffee shop and turn around as Madison is still sitting there and eat her hotdog. Why can I pretend like everything is fine just like her?

I let out a sigh and make an entry to buy latte for her. I turn my face at her and she half-smiled at me. I just half-smiled back at her and buy two lattes for us. It's really remind me when she stayed in hospital and we were kind of having a date and told each other our future plan that just gone away.

I take two glass of hot lattes and walk back to where Madison is sitting down and eating her hotdog. I give the latte to her and go back to sit down next to her.

"Thank you." Madison says to me and drink that latte.

I just eat my hotdog and look around. We have memories in this place. When summer holiday and we went here and spent our time together and now, once again it's gone.

I finish eat my hotdog. Madison turn her face at me and clean my mouth with the tissue paper she hold. I just looking at her and I really want to kiss her but she suddenly turn her face away.

"Well, I think if we stay here, I will lose my plane." I said and stand up from my seat while holding the latte cup.

"Oh yeah, right." Madison nodded as we are start walking together.

"I like your new hair cut." I smile at her.

"Yeah Kurt told me that maybe all I need is a new hair cut." She giggles.

I'm just smiling looking at her. We are smiling but we're close to tears. I just hope that last night will be the last time I made her cry. I dont want see her cry again because of me.

We are keep walking until we enter the main entrance of the airport. I really dont want to go but I have to. I take a deep breath and I have to go home and prove her that she is my only one.

"Okay, I have to go." I said to her.

"Safe flight." Madison half-smiled at me.

"Yeah take care for you." I half-smiled back at her.

She look at me then fix my collar coat. I just look at her until we start starring at each other. I push my face closer to kiss her. I really have to do that.

"I-I cant." Madison shakes her head and stops me. "I'm sorry, Finn."

"I'll-I'll see you on valentines day." I said nervously at her.

"Yeah-yeah." Madison nodded.

"See you." I kiss her cheek and turn around and walk away.

I start walking to the check in gate and turn my face. She just standing there and waves me a goodbye until she turn around and walk away. I might fail to kiss her today but I will get my girl back. I'm sure with that.

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Finn's POV

"Hey, are you okay?" Kenisha walks in while I'm arranging music sheet in choir room.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"How was there? You told her everything?" Kenisha asks me.

"Yeah but she said that she needs time. I know what I did was really bad even though only texting and hook-up text but I know it was hard for her." I said to Kenisha.

"I dont really know her like you do. But if I were her I would do the same thing." Kenisha says to me.

"You date Ryder, arent you? Well just hope that he wouldnt do the stupid thing like I did." I said to her.

"Finn, that wasnt stupid thing. You were lost and your relationship was rought because you both fighted a lot lately then the way her grandma threatened you and told you to back off. You were lost okay." Kenisha says.

"Yeah maybe but that was wrong. Really wrong." I let out a sigh.

"Oh come on. This is one week til valentines day. Make a special valentines for her. Do something that can make her happy." Kenisha smiles at me.

"I remember when the time she told me you are wiser than her." I chuckle.

"Well, I am." Kenisha chuckles.

"Thank you, Kenisha." I smile at her.

"That's okay." Kenisha smiles back at me and walk off.

I let out a sigh and turn my face to these music sheet. Yeah maybe I will make little surprise for her in valentines day and celebrate our second valentines together even though we arent together for real.

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Finn's POV

I'm sitting down on the bleachers and looking at the football player practicing for the game. It's Friday and I dont know what to do. I dont have any plan at all.

"What are you doing here?" Kenisha suddenly sit down next to me.

"Looking at the jocks pracitice and the cheerios. What about you?" I ask her.

"Waiting for Ryder." Kenisha simply said.

"I see. Madison also love sit down on the bleachers and waiting for me until football practice finish and sometimes I told her to go home." I said without looking at her.

"Nostalgia again and again huh." Kenisha chuckles.

"I'm sorry. I cant get her out of my mind." I chuckles.

"You dont need to get her out of your mind. That's your choice." Kenisha says to me.

"You're funny. And thank you for those advice." I said to her.

"You're going to be my half-brother in law right? Just helping out. Besides that I know how it feels to be hurt in love." Kenisha says. "My parents fighted every day and I guess that my mom want to get back to Madison's father."

"But Mr. Collins has a girlfriend. He told me himself and Madison agree with that. I know that woman and we met many times." I frown.

"Yeah I dont know how to make my mom understand about that but I guess Madison know how." Kenisha sighs.

"Yeah she might be. She is really smart in some ways." I nodded.

"You already plan something for valentines day?" Kenisha asks me.

"Yes. I called the Justin Bieber Experience and they want to help." I chuckle.

"The Justin Bieber Experience?" Kenisha laughs.

"It's a band that Sam made with Puck, Artie, and Mike as the member. They know so bad my relationship with her. Even Sam and I fighted a lot because of her." I said.

"She told me that Sam is her ex-boyfriend."

"Yeah that's right." I nodded.

"Dont worry, Finn. She will back into your arms. I promise. You both will back together and have kids and live happily ever after." Kenisha smiles at me.

"I hope so." I smile back at her.

"And we are gonna miss you when you back to college and stop directing the glee club." Kenisha says to me. "I like the way you direct the glee club. It's better than Mr. Schue did." Kenisha giggles.

"Thank you so much. You really cheer me up." I said to her.

"Well, I'm not a cheerleader well, I wish I was but I cant handle coach Sue." Kenisha chuckles.

"Well, me too." I chuckle. "I almost join the cheerios because coach Beiste kicked me out from football." I giggle.

"Oh cant believe that you dance." Kenisha laughs.

"Yeah it was really stupid." I chuckle. "When we were in New York, I cant laugh because there was awkward moment between us." I sigh.

"Dont be sad. Everything is gonna be fine." Kenisha says to me.

"I pray for that everyday." I nodded.

"Dont be sad, Finn. We all here for you. And everything will be fine. I promise." Kenisha rubs my back.

I turn my face at her and we start starring at each other. I look at her lips and kiss her. She's been there for this week and give me advices. I dont know what's wrong with me right now.

I pull my lips away and look at her. She didnt kiss me back and I guess she freak out because of this.

"I'm sorry. I'm-I'm really sorry." I said nervously at her.

"Hey, my practice is done. Can we go home?" Ryder come to us.

"Yeah sure." Kenisha simply said and stand up from her seat.

"What are you doing here, dude?" Ryder asks me.

"Just refreshing. Well see you guys." I simply said and walk away.

That was really stupid. I shouldnt make a mistake and kiss her. She is Madison's half-sister and what if Madison knows about this from anyone else? I guess I should be the one who have to tell her even though Madison will be more mad at me but it's better than she hear this from anyone else. How stupid you are, Finn Hudson.

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