23

WIN'S POV

There's a certain factor that makes me comfortable at El Nido. Just looking out my window already calms my mind. I was still empty but I could feel it getting lighter. It felt like an escape.

I wanted to spend the day differently from what we usually did. I went out of the resort and found some local kids. I saw them carrying pieces of bamboo as if they were playing but I noticed they exchanged it for money.

They were working at a young age. I sat under the tree from a far distance. I saw them run towards their mother and gave her the money they earned.

"Win..." I looked around when somebody called me.

"Grandma" I said and gave her a small smile.

"I thought you would go and do some water activities... What brought you here watching the locals?" She asked.

"Looking for another perspective. They seem to have better lives than us with the littlest things they got." I said and looked back at the family.

"Sometimes having everything is a curse and having nothing is the biggest blessing you'll ever get." She said.

We stayed there until she said she's going because she's gonna try to contact Namtaan. I stayed there and watched more of what the locals do. They all seem to have the happy life. A very simple one that doesn't give you so much pain, emptiness and disappointment.

I spent hours there watched the kids play with rocks and just the things around them. It took my mind off things for a while. For once, I wasn't thinking about everything I left behind. I wasn't trying to numb the pain, to distract myself from the emptiness.

When it was getting hot, I decided to stand up and head back to the shore. I asked permission from Bright's grandmom to go to Bright's island. I wanted to be alone. I want to feel all of it.

When I got to Bright's island, I went to the cliff and just laid there. The thoughts ran endlessly through my mind. I was empty inside, I was numb. I just stared at the sky and let the thoughts run through until I realized the sun was already setting. I forgot to eat again, it's funny when we're in so much pain that we forgot all he smallest mundane things we have to do.

I didn't even cry anymore, everything was just too much that it left me blankly staring at the sunset in front of me.

"Things weren't supposed to be this way," I said as anger sank in me.

I was sad about all of it but now I am mad, things aren't supposed to be this hard. We're supposed to be living the lives we wanted. Dealing with the crap we put ourselves into not what life puts us through.

I closed my eyes in anger and decided to go down. I walked by the shore at first until I decided to go for a swim.

"Bright has got to be kidding me. He has to live. This isn't fun alone." I whispered to myself as I swam around for a while.

When the skies were dark, I went back to the shore. There is barely light from the moon and the only source of light I have is from the boat. I sighed. Maybe I should get going now...

I went back to my hotel room to rinse myself. I only had one meal today, when the hunger sink-in for me, I was shaking. I didn't know why but I gathered all my strength and went outside to go look somewhere to eat.

I still haven't opened my phone. It's not like there's so much to worry about, I already have enough. I settled for the small eatery I found, I ordered a dish and some sides. The different bars are already starting their hype. I didn't know if I would drink tonight. I was just fond of staring blankly into nothing.

I was almost done with my food but then I lost interest. I looked around and decided to force myself to finish my food. Everything was just basically in my cheeks and I was slowly chewing on it. 

I decided to stop by our cliff. I just wanted to go back to how things were back then, they were pretty fucked up but no one is in a hospital bed and no one is on a verge of a breakdown every five minutes. 

Before I climbed the cliff, I bought two bottles of beer. Maybe two will be enough for tonight, I'm already numb about my emotions enough. I found a nice spot to sit at as I sip on my beer, memories started flooding my mind. 

*flashback*

I didn't know why Chi asked to be here... I haven't been here and it was what makes my brother happy. Whatever makes him, I'll go for that. Life was busy and tough lately, juggling everything just so I could save enough for the life I always wanted to have. 

I decided to go drinking tonight, not wasted but I wanted to be tipsy and dizzy just so I could quickly sleep when I go back to our hotel room. I took a few shots of whatever hard liquor they were serving at the bar and then a few bottles of beer. My vision was blurry when I decided I had enough for tonight... 

I paid and stood up, gathering all the strength I could but I underestimated the shots I took, I was wasted, everything was spinning around me. I couldn't walk a straight line, for sure mom and Chi are already sleeping, I couldn't bother them to wake up now. 

I have to put my mind to this. I just have to walk... that's all... 

I didn't know where I was going, why is it getting darker? Did they turned off the lights? I laughed at that thought, they were sleeping of course! Why would they sleep with lights on... but why is the pathway a bit rocky? Is this a surprise?

I didn't know where I got but I think I am completely sober now. Someone was just about to jump off the cliff...

*end of flashback*

Sometimes I think, what if I didn't see Bright that night... What if Chi didn't choose Coron... would he still be alive? Would we still even meet? 

I blame myself so much for Bright's situation right now... He has already been going through so much. I know how terrible it feels to be alone in a very dark place and it sucks that I was the one who placed him there. 

As much as I am in pain right now, I couldn't cry anymore, it's like my eyes got tired and I could just physically feel the tight sharp pain in my chest and all I could do is sigh... I finished my beer and decided to go down and back to my hotel room. 

NAMTAN'S POV

I didn't know where to find Win. Did he give up too? Because I couldn't forgive my father if he did. They all did this! They were caught up in messes they shouldn't even know about. 

"Grandma can you tell some of our staff to keep an eye out for Win... maybe if he decides to visit there... His family doesn't have a clue where he is..." I said to my grandma over the phone. 

"Sure Namtan, I'll tell you right away if they ever see him here." Grandma said before we hang up. 

I was shooting my chances that he'd go back to El Nido, but who am I kidding? It would only remind him of Bright... 

I sighed, Mom and I established that her and Ton watches over Bright during the day and I watch over Bright during night. I have more messed up body clock than they do and I am used to staying up late anyway...

"Namtan!" Bright's doctor came rushing to me as he arrived. 

"Yes? Is there something wrong with Bright?" I asked looking over him through the glass panel.

"Nothing. We recently just ran some tests and his brain activity is improving, he has been responsive to the tests and we're just waiting for him to wake up. We can proceed to put him on the transplant list and proceed with his kidney transplant." The doctor said. 

"Are there any other alternatives aside from waiting for him to wake up on his own?" I asked. 

"All we could do is keep talking to him, keep him in a positive environment and perhaps, a special someone will do the trick... We barely believe in miracles, but sometimes, the person who is closest to the patient is the one that actually magically wakes them up from these kind of situations." The doctor said. 

I smiled and thanked him, not knowing what to do next... I have to find Win. I know he is hurting, but I've never seen Bright go crazy over someone like how he did with Win. 

Win Metawin

Win

We need you.

Bright needs you.

He has a chance to live. 

Call me ASAP.

I was hopeful upon sending those messages as I glanced up on the window panel. I'll do everything for my siblings. 

"Don't we have the option to transfer him to the US? Like what you did with me?" I blinked a few times when I heard my sister... 

What time is it? I didn't realized I fell asleep already...

"You're awake!" Ton said and sat beside me. 

"Don't stress your sister out too much." Mom said while she was fixing some stuff beside Bright. 

"Can we bring him to the US just like what you did with me so that he can recover faster?" Ton asked me. 

"You both have different cases, for him, it is a lot harder. Plus, the doctor told me last night if we keep talking to him and keep a happy environment around him, there are chances he's waking up sooner than later. He has excellent feedbacks about his brain activity last night." I told her. 

I know how impatient my sister is and how crucial these times are for her since they are very close. I know she stayed so much with Bright even back at the mansion. She's spoiled and all but despite that, she's his girl. 

We had breakfast before I headed home to shower. My phone was also dead when I got home so I plugged it in before going into the shower. I suddenly remember to check on responses from Win... 

WIN'S POV

Another day of waking up exhausted. I don't even know why I'm still exhausted at this point, all I do is sleep and I barely move around... 

I took a quick bath and decided to grab some brunch. I decided to swim today, hoping that distracting myself would fill the void that was inside of me. I just wanted to be okay again but I blocked all the thoughts about being okay, it only frustrates me and it doesn't give me any good benefits. 

"Namtan called last night" Grandma said as we had brunch. 

Someone was already waiting for me outside of my room when I got out, they said that grandma wanted me to eat there with her. 

"Looking for me?" I asked. 

"Yes, No new updates about Bright though, they were just looking for you." She said. 

"I'll go update them today that I am alright." I said and smiled. 

"You are not alright..." She said. 

I stopped eating and looked over at her. I know... I am very from okay or alright or whatever it is they like to call it. 

"I saw you by the cliff last night... I know things have been very tough for you lately Win, but you have to keep pushing. I know you'll say easy for me to say but you have to let yourself hurt, feel all of it, cry all of it. Blocking it out won't help you grow. You have us, and you can't just block everything out just like Bright did. It's all too much but the pain you're blocking out doesn't really gets blocked out, you just pass it on to another individual that has grown very close to you." She said. 

I smiled at what she said, I wish I had more time with my grandparents. It would've been fun. 

After eating we talked for a little more while and I excused myself. I went back to my room and plugged my phone in. What did I missed? or did I even missed anything, rather. 

I opened the TV because it took a while for my phone to charge, I haven't used it in days. I was just surfing the channels that were available but then I got really sleepy so I drifted into another nap.

When I woke up, I looked at my phone and saw how many messages were there. Mom and Chimon always asks if I'm alright or soemthing. Mom even sent e-money, lol, I told her I don't need it. Some friends were also messaging me asking me why I've gone ghost on my social medias. 

But what caught my eyes was Namtan... 

Namtan

Win 

We need you.

Bright needs you. 

He has a chance to live.

Call me ASAP.

I wasn't sure if it was a bait but I dialed her number without hesitation and impatiently waited as it started ringing. 

"Hello?" Namtan answered with a sleepy voice. 

"N-Namtan?" I uttered. 

I wasn't sure what to tell her and was trying to find the right words. 

"WIN!" She said when it registered to her that she was talking to me. 

"What do you mean he has a chance to live?" I asked her...

"Omg! You are alive, thank God!" She said again. 

I remained quiet, she has been trying to reach me for so long now and I didn't even said goodbye to them. 

"WIN! He has been responding very well to tests and he actually has high chances of waking up based from his brain activity. The doctor said we need to keep talking to him, I was hoping if you could come and talk to him... Please, I'm begging you,  whatever happened between you two, he was at his happiest when he was with you." Namtan said and I even heard her soft cry.

"I don't think I can..." I said trying to figure out how to go back there. 

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I am currently far from there..." I told her. 

"Where are you, I'll go get a private plane for you..." She said. 

I scratched my head, I'm sorry grandma...

"El Nido..." I carefully said 

"WAIT WHAT?! Grandma knew all along didn't she?" Namtan said. 

"Yeah... she's actually the only that knows and I begged her not to tell you all..." I told her. 

"Pack your things! You'll be leaving at 5PM." She told me. 

She had a lot to say before hanging up... I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, but I couldn't help but to be hopeful again. I called grandma and told her everything about it, she said she'll be sending me off later and I should go focus on packing my stuff again.

I grabbed everything and for the last time, I asked them to take me to Bright's island for a little while...

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Thanks for reading! :)