10

TW//SELF HARM

- A form of self harm is involved in this chapter, please read with pre-caution.

- Again, this story is mature-rated as scenarios like this might be so triggering for a some of you, read responsibly. 

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BRIGHT'S POV

It has been two weeks of being alone again, well, some family and cousins were here but then, there are just more times I am alone. Namtan also left a week ago, having to take care of mom's parts of some businesses we have. She also has been travelling to different parts of the world spending Dad's money as her revenge on him. 

I am set to leave in two days for a three days vacation at Japan alone. I asked it from them, also, I am spending the funds Dad has given me ever since back then. We don't know what mom's plans are but I wish she'd just leave Dad, we'll make it without him. 

"You sure about leaving already?" Gunsmile asked me. 

"Yeah..." I said while looking at the show we were watching on the TV. 

"This is your paradise Bright, your escape... You sure?" He asked again. 

"Yeah, I have to. I'll go straight to school after my Japan trip." I told him. 

My plans are concrete already. I'll be going on the trip alone, then come back the night before my classes resume and my free times will be spent on the hospital. Mom also said I could stay at the town house she purchased near the hospital so that we don't have to live with my Dad, even though we don't know where he is. 

The days were quick and it was time to say goodbye to paradise before I even know it. I decided to leave after lunch in our private jet. I asked to be dropped off at the airport instead of at our building's helipad. 

"Sir Bright, where do you want us to take you?" The driver asked me when they fetched me from the airport. 

"The mansion first, I'll have to go get a few things." I said.

Mom already sent someone at the mansion initially to go get our stuff before I came home but there are several more things I wanted to get. 

It was painful seeing the mansion with no lights and the joy Ton brings like before... The family has completely fallen apart I guess? I sighed when I went down the van. I need to make it as quick as I can so that I would be able to avoid my father that seems to not be home. 

"Sir B-Bright... Good Evening" One of our helpers said. I just nodded my head and immediately went to my room but the helper followed. 

"Are you staying here Sir?" She asked. 

"No, I'll just get some stuff" I said. 

I grabbed everything I needed. I stood in the hallway for a while debating if I'm gonna go inside Ton's room or not. I figured I will, I opened it and sighed seeing everything the way it used to be. Some stuff were gone, maybe mom got them taken to the townhouse as well... 

I stayed for a little longer and decided to leave but just as I was about to step out of the front door, I saw my father from his office. He seemed to have aged with all the stress I guess... 

"Bright" He called to me but I ignored him and continued walking away and got into the van.

"Let's leave now" I said and made the driver send me to the townhouse already. 

My car is parked at the townhouse which I figured mom also decided to take it here. I'll need it for school too. 

"Sir Bright, welcome back" Our oldest helper welcomed me when I got inside. 

I smiled at the thought that mom didn't let her suffer being at Dad's.

"I'll go prepare you a meal."  She said. 

"I'll be visiting the hospital, It's fine." I said. 

"You bring your mom some of the food too then, you know I won't let you all go without eating. Go and freshen up, I'll be in the kitchen." She said and smiled at me. 

Not gonna lie, she's more like our third mother apart from mom and grandma, she's the only one who truly cared and looked after us. I went upstairs and figured out which was my room. I settled some stuff, I'll go pack for Japan later. 

I freshened up and got some stuff for me that I'll need for school tomorrow. I went back down seeing a table prepared with food and all I need. I sat down and quickly ate, I also took the container of food prepared for my mom and made my way to the hospital.

"Bright... you should've stayed at the house..." Mom said as she embraced me. 

"It's fine mom... I got food for you..." I said raising the paper bag. 

We made our way to the area we could stay and I let my mom eat her meal first. 

"Mom you could rest tonight, go home. I'll take care of everything." I told my mom. 

"No. You should be the one resting. Go home, you have school tomorrow." Mom said. 

"I'll wait for you to come tomorrow. You deserve some time for yourself." I said. 

"Bright----" I cut her off.

"No mom, you get some time to rest, do some skincare, I'll be fine." I said like what I say to everyone else. 

It was a long process of convincing my mom but she finally gave up when I pulled out a small pillow I brought and a blanket. 

"I'll be back first thing in the morning. Call me if Ton wakes up." She said. 

I agreed and she finally went home. I stared at Ton from the viewing glass for a long while until I felt my phone vibrated from my pocket...

Win Metawin

Briiiiight

Wiiin

You came back to the city right?

No jk, yeah why?

Wanna chill tonight?

Yeah but I have hospital duties hehe sorry

Oh... that's fine.

I'll come over, what snack do you want?

Anyyy

He didn't responded after that and I figured he might be on his way... After a few minutes I got a call from him. 

"Bright... I'm here at the lobby, which part of the hospital are you in?" He asked. 

"Silly, you came here not knowing where I am... ICU, Deluxe room three" I said. 

"Okay, coming." He said we dropped the call. 

I sat down and waited for him, he took a little while but he finally made his way to me. 

"Hiii" He said with a big smile. 

"You look like a kid... Don't you have classes tomorrow?" I asked. 

"I have afternoon classes, plus, I wanted to see a familiar face, it was exhausting coming back to reality" He said settling the paper bag in front of me. 

"I brought some chicken poppers, mozzarella poppers and some milkshakes, that okay with you? I figured we'd get in trouble if I bring some alcoholic drinks." He said again which made me laugh. 

"Win... come over" I said when I stood up in front of the viewing window again. 

"This is my younger sister Ton... the one I told you about" I said. 

"She's the reason..." He said and went quiet beside me.

"yeah..." I said... 

We sat down and opened the food he brought for us. 

"Win, we're just two... why did you buy so much?" I asked him because there was like a feast in front of us. 

"I like to eat. Fun fact." He said and giggled. 

It made me giggle too and we just continued talking about how life is when he came back. 

"Win, as much as I am enjoying your company, it's already 2am." I said and he looked at the time on his phone. 

"Oh... I didn't noticed that one." He said. 

"It's time to go home." I said and gave him a small smile. 

"I'll see you again soon Bright." He said. 

"Let me accompany you to your car." I said and fixed my stuff at the area. 

"Uhhmmm..." He scratched his head. 

"What?" I asked. 

"I don't have a car... I'll take the cab" He said. 

"What? No. It's not safe anymore, let me call our driver." I said. 

"No, it's already 2am. Hassle" He said. 

"Let me take you home then, I'll call a nurse to watch Ton for me. It's not safe to take a cab." I said. 

"No, it's fine really" He insisted. 

"No Win. You wait here." I said. 

I immediately went to the nurse station and arranged for a special job to the nurse to be a personal nurse to Ton for an hour. They immediately gave me a nurse upon the payment so it wasn't much of a hassle. 

"Win, let's go." I said. 

"Bright, it's really okay." He kept insisting. 

"Win, if you don't stop insisting that to me, there's one way I can shut you up." I said and smirked at him which made him blush. 

"Bright, omg, you're shameless, we're in a hospital" He said and hit my arm. 

I laughed at him being embarrassed and all, he really thinks I'm gonna kiss him huh? I mean... I can if he wants to...

"Wow dodge challenger..." Win said when I opened the door to the driver's seat. 

"Yeah... hop in"  I said.

"You didn't really have to do this, thank you so much" He said as he was already seated in the passenger seat. 

He told me the directions to their house and we finally made it there. 

"Thanks Bright." He said. 

"Thanks for the fun night too Win." I said before he went down but he turned to me again. 

"We'll see each other later?" He asked.

"Yeah sure." I said. 

"Promise?" He asked like a small child. 

"Yes, you look like a child who is asking for candy" I said and giggled. 

He giggled and finally said goodnight. I drove back to the hospital and watched Ton for a few minutes, but then lonely thoughts started to flood me, I felt so alone right that moment and I sighed. I decided to fix the sofa bed and got ready to sleep. The nurse I hired also assured me everything was fine and to be updated by morning. I drifted to sleep after quite a tough fight with the thoughts that were running in my head, all the what ifs...

I woke up to the quite subtle sound of my alarm, it was already 7am. Mom also sent a message saying she's on her way. I took a shower and got ready for school as I waited for my mom, just when I was putting my shoes on she finally came. 

"Good morning Bright, here's some breakfast" Mom said showing me her paper bag. 

"Good morning mom." I said. 

She prepared breakfast as I finished getting ready...

"Bright, I want to be honest with you..." Mom started as we were eating. 

"What is it?" I asked. 

"The doctors told me there has been no progress with Ton for almost a week now... She's fighting, but it just gets to me sometimes... I begged Namtan to tell me about you, she mentioned something about your mental health... Have you been seeing that specialist you were referred to?" She asked. 

"Sorry mom... I told her I was still away when I was at El Nido, I didn't agree with the online services..." I said and shook my head. 

"That's fine, Namtan told me about the friend you made and your friends keeping you company there" She said. 

I smiled at what she said assuring her that I was totally fine and that I will be fine for the coming days... I guess?

"Don't worry about me too much mom, we're strong, we'll all make it." I said. 

"I'll see you later. Stay safe Bright." She said.

I said goodbye to go to school and left the hospital. I walked into my class and saw my friends there.

"Helloooo" Love said as I sat down. 

"I wanna go back to paradise already." Film said obviously still sleepy.

"Who doesn't want to?" I asked. 

The day was pretty boring, most of the classes were free cut since it's the first day of another semester. I was supposed to be done by 2PM but I was already dismissed by lunch. I had lunch with my friends and decided to go to the restau bar where I usually go before... 

"Hey Bright" Tay called me..

"Hey" I said raising my beer bottle to him. 

"Heard about your sister, sorry to hear that" He said. 

"Yeah, that's fine, she's already being treated." I told him. 

"I wanna invite you over but Nevy is with us at the private room..." He said.

Nevy obviously told them were no longer in good terms.

"Please don't tell her I'm here, I don't plan to stay long." I said. 

"Yeah sure, hang in there man" Tay said and left me.

I felt alone once again. I drank two bottles of beer and decided to just buy a hard liquor for myself. I left the bar with my alcohol and decided to drive to my get-away spot. 

It was gloomy when I got there... I opened the bottle and took a sip and I closed my eyes as I sat there by the edge of the cliff feeling the fresh air. I sighed. I felt my phone vibrating but I decided to have this time to myself. When I drank about 1/4 of the contents of the bottle I checked on the messages... It was mom, she said she needs me there right now...

My heart was pounding as I dialed my mom's number, is Ton awake? I immediately stood up and stashed the bottle at the back of my car. I'm far from drunk but I need my mom to pick up her phone because I was shaking in nervousness. 

"B-Bright" I heard my mom crying on the other line.

"MOM?! WHAT HAPPENED? WHY ARE YOU CRYING" I panicked. 

"Bright... Y-you need to get here..." Mom said through the tears. 

"I'm on the way mom, calm down, I'll be there..." I said and tried to calm myself down before driving as fast as I can to the hospital.

I ran to the ICU as soon as I got to the hospital. Mom was crying outside alone when I got there... 

"BRIGHT" She said and sobbed as she hugged me tightly. 

"Mom, calm down... what happened, why are you crying? Is Ton awake?" I asked. 

She was crying for a longer while and every minute was killing me to know what happened to my sister. 

"T-ton had a seizure... they managed to get it under control but they saw a hemorrhage on her brain, she needs to be operated." Mom said which got me all numb and deaf.

My brain seemed to stop functioning which left me dumbfounded as my mother cried again. I was once again feeling the rage towards my father. He did all of this. If he didn't engaged in such business Ton wouldn't be kidnapped and this won't happen. 

Hours passed that me and my mom waited outside of the ICU waiting for Ton to be stable before we could see her again. 

Namtan later on came with tears on her eyes as well. Mom and her were talking while I still can't feel or process any emotion of reaction... 

"I-I'll be back..." I said.

Namtan tried to stop me from going but no. I went back to my escape place... then it all started flooding me... the hurt, the fear... the anger... everything, I screamed it all out and drowned it in alcohol, but I just felt more numb... I took some elastics out of my wallet and flicked it against my skin for a few times, and when I could finally feel the pain from the repeated flicks of the elastic I looked on my arm... 

There were marks like a cut, some are even slightly bleeding already as the area was hit by the elastic repeatedly. It felt satisfying and free when I felt the pain in exchange of the numbness. I closed my eyes and flicked the elastic a little more as my phone vibrated. I ignored all of it and sat there as my mind wander to the dark thoughts I have... before I even know it, I was crying. 

I felt so helpless... so alone... like there's a void inside me that has been eating me up. I tried to stop the tears but it just hurts so much, how everything is falling apart... how I am falling apart. 

"BRIGHT" Someone yelled from behind me... 

I saw Win... he was there...

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Thanks for reading!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story does not encourage self-harm. If you are in need of a friend or just someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to send me a message :) I am willing to listen to your rants or literally anything, or go find a person you could really really trust, there is always someone willing to listen to you, and ya'll are never alone <3