1

"do you have to go tonight, joonie?"

"it's just a date, jimin, i'm not going off to the military," namjoon said, laughing, "i'll be home later tonight."

"can't you just go on your date later?" jimin pouted, trying to bust out one last cute line to convince joon to stay, "i... i miss you."

"we live together, jimin. i see you all the time."

"you're right... sorry."

"it's fine. i'll be back in a few hours, okay? be careful."

namjoon leaned down and kissed jimin on the top of his head, grabbed his wallet, and headed out the door.

jimin sighed, slouching back onto the couch.

him and namjoon were housemates. they had been living together for a few months and had grown to be pretty close.

although, maybe not close enough for jimin's liking.

because, the truth was, jimin had a big secret.

he was gay.

and on top of that, he had a huge crush on namjoon.

the problem was, joon was a huge player. he would go out on dates several nights a week, bring the girls home, let them stay over. it was driving jimin crazy. he always tried to flirt with him and make namjoon like him, but it never worked. he would wear big sweaters around the house with nothing else on but briefs. he would put on blush and bat his eyelashes, agreeing with joon's every word. he would even pretend to fall asleep on the couch so joon would have to carry him back to bed.

he knew namjoon was straight, but he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if the two of them were together.

but that was wrong, right...?

two boys; dating?

jimin felt dirty every time he flirted with him, like he was doing something wrong.

he always wondered about what his family would think of him if they saw the way he was acting.

"they'd be so disappointed," he thought, as he slouched even deeper into the couch, getting lost in thought.

-

jimin sat there and thought about namjoon sitting to dinner with a beautiful girl. they would probably talk about their lives and laugh. namjoon would buy her food and encourage her to eat more, telling her she was adorable. as the night wound down, he would kiss her underneath the stars. as they walk back to his car, he would ask her if she'd like to come back to his place. he would worn her that his housemate was home, but that he didn't care if he brought anyone back to their place, and he was probably asleep anyways. she would agree and they'd head back to his house. namjoon would lay her down and start kissing her. things would heat up and jimin would be forced to sit there and listen as he desperately tried to fall asleep.

a tear ran down jimin's cheek at the thought. it must have been the worst feeling in the world, seeing someone else get something so easily, what he would do anything to have.

the saddest part was, jimin was right. namjoon did have a great time. he brought the girl home, too. and there was jimin, laying in his bed, listening to the two of them go at it, through paper thin walls, crying into his pillow.

he wanted to be straight. or maybe he just desperately wanted namjoon to be gay, either way it didn't matter. namjoon didn't like him like that and jimin needed to come to terms with it.

he was awake the whole time they were doing it and he couldn't drift off until the both of them were done. he finally managed to get some rest, crying, as he drifted off to sleep._____________________________

lmao your bish is back with another fanfic 🤠 i honestly didn't intend for the first chapter to be so depressing, but oh well. hopefully ya'll will like the story 👀