♠︎ forty six

CHAPTER FORTY SIX

⁃⁃⁃⁃♠︎⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃♠︎⁃⁃⁃⁃

♠︎ JUNGKOOK

Jungkook was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. 

It was supposed to be the day when everything began anew. He was supposed to be looking forward to when he went home now, to starting something real with you. Jungkook couldn't help but remember how optimistic he had been this morning, descending to make you breakfast, and wondering what lay in store in this bright new world of opportunity for the both of you.

Instead, he'd come down the stairs to find Yoora, and everything had changed. 

Now, it didn't fill him with quiet hope to think about flying home in a few days' time. Instead, it filled him with dread.

Part of Jungkook still wanted to celebrate the revelations of this morning. After all, hadn't you just confirmed that you felt the same way that he did? Hadn't you finally, after weeks of sidestepping and avoiding and outright ignoring the conversation, stepped up and offered your heart to him on a silver platter?

I'm falling in love with you. Jungkook's heart ached in his chest at the memory of how you'd said it, tentative and unsure as you finally let him in on the secret. 

But it was all marred, ruined, by what had transpired after that.

Had he overreacted? Jungkook didn't think so. He wanted you, so badly that it physically ached not to have him near you that day - he didn't even think you'd come out of your room - but that didn't change things. 

Falling or not, Jungkook knew that there was no foundation for anything permanent between you if you didn't trust him. 

He trundled through his day like this, providing miserable company for the new guests that had arrived. There were six of them - a mixture of dancers and models who had worked on their last comeback - but Jungkook only recognised three of them. There was Tala, a good friend of Yoora's who had danced in the ON video; and Ángel, a Puerto Rican choreographer who had come to Seoul to work for them, and stayed when he fell in love with the city.

And of course - there was Yoora herself.

Jungkook eyed her now as the group gathered in the kitchen for dinner, beginning to take their seats. She was laughing happily as her and Tala caught up Hobi, seemingly oblivious to the fact that her arrival had caused such chaos. 

"Okay, take your seats!" Jin called over the din, waving his deathly spatula in a sign that dinner was ready, as people migrated to the dinner table. 

You still hadn't appeared, and Jungkook felt like there was a hole in his heart.

Yoora sat down at one end of the table, still deep in conversation with Hobi and Tala. As he glanced at the woman he'd wanted for so long, Jungkook remembered what you had said about being certain he had no feelings for Yoora. He wished desperately that he could shrink you down and implant you into his brain right now to show you the truth; because no matter how long he stared at her, how long he admired her good looks - imagined her naked, even - he couldn't find even a single ounce of the burgeoning crush he'd had when he left Seoul.

He realised that part of this was because he didn't really know Yoora. She was flighty, and difficult to assess; she was perfectly nice and polite, but Jungkook always had the sense that this was an exterior she had worked for a long time to maintain, as a result of her chosen career in modelling. 

And at the other end of the spectrum, bold and vibrant and unapologetic in everything you did and said and felt, was you. Yoora evaporated in thin air beside you in his brain. It always came back to you.

You and Jungkook. Jungkook and you.

Nothing else felt right to him any more, except that.

Jungkook snapped back to reality. In his daze, he had been staring at Yoora. She sensed his gaze and caught it, making him slide his eyes in a panic from her to Yoongi, who had just appeared in the kitchen. 

When Yoongi caught his eye, his expression rounded in sympathy, and Jungkook knew he had guessed what had happened this morning. He sensed that Yoongi wanted to discuss it with him, but when he made to sit beside Jungkook, he was whisked off by Tala to sit with her and Hobi instead.

Jungkook sighed in slight relief, positioning him strategically at the other end of the table, next to an empty seat, slinking down into it with a huff and folding his arms.

Guests or no guests, he wasn't in the mood for talking tonight. 

It only soured things, then, when the empty chair next to him became occupied with the person he wanted to speak to the least. 

"Don't," he gritted out, though even Jungkook himself didn't know what he meant by this. Don't sit there. Don't talk to me. 

Don't even try to apologise for what you've done. 

But Taehyung was insistent, gazing at him with sad, pleading eyes. 

"Jungkookie," he began softly, voice low enough that the rest of the table were undisturbed. "Please-"

"No," Jungkook said. "Hyung, if you know what's good for you, you won't talk to me tonight. I'm so fucking mad at you right now."

But Taehyung, it seemed, was about as afraid as an oblivious mouse creeping into a lion's den.

"Is she okay?" he asked now, trying his luck once more.

At this, finally, Jungkook turned, the rage increasing from a simmer to a boil. 

"Do you see her here?" he asked sardonically, eyes cutting into Taehyung's with what he hoped was a hateful glare. "Of course she's not fucking okay."

Taehyung looked overcome by guilt. "I want to help-"

"You've done enough," Jungkook insisted, a little too loudly.

Yoongi turned to glance at them in warning, but he was seemingly the only one who heard. The rest of the room was oblivious to the rift that was widening at the other end of the table.

"Look, what I did was wrong, I'm not denying it," Taehyung said, his voice firmer now, as if he too were becoming annoyed. "But I thought it was the right thing. I thought you wanted... someone else."

Taehyung's eyes flickered to Yoora and back, but Jungkook wasn't fooled.

"That's a lie. You wanted me out of the picture so you could have her for yourself," Jungkook spat back.

"And is that so bad?" Taehyung pressed. "You've met her, Jungkook. You know her, the same way I did, so you know how hard it is to let her go. I couldn't bear the thought of her hating me. I had to convince her that I wasn't the asshole she thought I was."

"And your plan for doing that was to fuck up our relationship, and your friendship with me, too?" Jungkook scoffed. "Yeah. Real non-asshole stuff."

Taehyung's jaw clenched, but he closed his eyes and took one deep breath before he continued.

"I already told you," Taehyung said, but he couldn't fully mask the anger in his tone. Jungkook could see it in the burning amber of his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go through with it."

Jungkook laughed bitterly. "But you did. And things are fucked up anyway. Good job, asshole."

Yoongi turned again. "Jungkook-"

"Speak to me with respect," Taehyung demanded, cutting Yoongi off in a deep, raising voice. "I'm still your elder."

"I don't give a shit what you are any more, as long as you stop fucking talking to me!" Jungkook exclaimed.

Far, far too loudly. 

The rest of the table descended into stunned silence.

Jungkook felt the shame and guilt of displaying his anger so openly, almost immediately. His cheeks burned with humiliation, and it took several deep breaths for him to realise his hands had curled into tight fists. He glanced around the table, realising that everyone was gazing at him with either shock, annoyance, or pity, and he couldn't decide which was the worst.

Only Jimin looked at him with any sympathy.

Jungkook couldn't bear it. He made to leave, but Namjoon appeared at the door then, drawing the attention of the crowd away from Jungkook and Taehyung. 

Namjoon's eyes caught Yoongi's across the room, and though he was calm, there was a trace of concern in his expression. 

"Well?" Yoongi asked, trying to inject a sense of calm back into the room.

Namjoon shook his head regretfully. "She's not coming down," he said quietly.

The rest of the dinner party had now clearly caught on that something was wrong here. After all, Jungkook and Taehyung never fought, and here they were exchanging sour words at the table, glaring daggers at one another-

And all the while, you refused to leave your room. 

The new guests shifted in their seats, half-uneasy and half-intrigued by the drama unfolding before them. 

The silence was painfully loud. Jungkook was uncomfortably aware of Taehyung, still seated beside him.

Eventually, Jungkook heard a chair being pushed back. 

"I'll be right back," Yoongi said, his eyes shifting between Jungkook and Taehyung in silent reprimand. Jungkook felt small then, like a petulant child who'd been fighting with his brother, as Yoongi disappeared up the stairs, and gradually, the chatter around him resumed. 

He slumped back into his seat, ignoring Taehyung to his right. The anger in his chest was simmering down again, leaving behind only a dull, throbbing feeling that he could only describe as heartache.

He missed you.

And despite how much you had upset him earlier, he hated the idea that you were up there, upset and refusing to come down to eat, all because of him.

Jungkook's heart twinged again in his chest.

This was not how your vacation was supposed to end.

⁃⁃⁃⁃♠︎⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃♠︎⁃⁃⁃⁃