Chapter 5

So, I managed to get this written late at night over a couple of nights so it's not that good, but it may be the last upload for a bit. My GCSEs start tomorrow so I have to study really hard for them. I should be right now, but you konw!! Hakuna Matata!!!! Sorry for the Lion King reference, but I refuse to jump on the YOLO bandwagon. Hakuna Matata FTW :D

Enjoy! 

Emily xx

Chapter five – I can’t let them hurt me

Katie’s POV

I kept on running until I found a deserted park. I slowed down a little and walked over to a bench under a tree, just in front of a little pond. The kind of pond I would take Daisy to so she could feed the ducks when she was a little younger. When I was at home without hangovers. When Connor was just a guy that Louis talked to sometimes. When I was the big sister the girls wanted to be like. When I didn’t have to be drunk to feel like everything was going to be okay. My phone bleeped into the silence, interrupting my thoughts momentarily. I answered, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Hello?” I asked, holding my iPhone up to my ear.

“Katie? It’s Liam, where are you?” He told me, sounding slightly panicked.

“In a park on a bench under a tree in front of a duck pond.” I told him, describing my surroundings. I had been to London since Louis moved here but I hadn’t ever run off by myself and get lost. Because that what I was. Lost. I had no idea where I was or how to get back, not to Lou’s or to get a train back to Zara. “If you tell Louis, I will never ever talk to you ever again Payne, so don’t even think about it.” I growled down the phone, thinking that Liam of all people would probably tell.

“Don’t worry I won’t.” He chuckled. “I think I know where you are, I’ll come and get you yeah?”

“I don’t know. If you come and get me then we’ll go back to Louis’ and then he’ll want to know why I ran off like that and then I’ll have to tell him and I don’t want to tell him.” I gabbled, thinking everything that Lou will yell at me if I was to tell him.

“Just don’t tell him then.” Liam sighed.

“Have you ever tried being Louis’ little sister and not telling him something? I don’t think so; it’s not as easy as it sounds.” I huffed. With Louis it’s never as easy as just not telling. He’ll get it out of me and when he does, he is going to be so angry.

“Fine you win. I’m still gonna get you though.” Liam told me, chuckling slightly. “I’ll be there in about 20 minutes okay?”

“Yep.” I sighed deeply. This is one of the main reasons why I didn’t want to move in the Louis. Telling him. He’s gonna find out and all I know is that he is going to go crazy.

“Don’t worry about it Katie. See you soon.”

“Yeah, okay.” I hung up and put my phone back into my bag, the plastic casing clinking against the glass of my vodka bottle. It was only a little small one that Zara had sneaked into my stuff before I left but I know that I had to carry it with me. I mean, what if one of the boys found it? They would flip out. I unscrewed the cap and held the bottle up to my lips, taking a long sip, pulling a face as the alcohol burned my throat. That was better. I lifted my knees up to my chin, rested my right hand on my knee and took another guzzle, the alcohol burning my throat once more. I fiddled the denim of my black skinny jeans momentarily, looking straight ahead in meaningless thought. I took another sip of vodka like it was a plastic bottle of mineral water. All I need now is Luke, Zara, Marina, Oceania and a cigarette. Why did I leave them all hidden in draws in my room? Why didn’t I slip a pack into my bag with the vodka? I lifted the bottle to my lips again but it was snatched away before the clear liquid could burn my throat.

“Katie what the hell are you doing?” Liam exclaimed. I was never really one to have a drink I was too young, well still am really, and I thought it was disgusting. That all changed three weeks after Louis moved to London. Things with Connor may have only just started but they were getting bad, I missed Lou like hell and I had no idea what to do anymore. Marina introduced me to Zara and we hit it off. Been best friends with her, vodka and cigarettes ever since. I have Marina to thank for all of that. Yes, to thank. I have no idea what I would do without the alcohol or a puff of smoke. I know how bad it is for me but the things happening around me seem worse than the effects. “Well?” Liam snapped, expecting an answer.

“Drinking.” I told him, trying to reach the glass bottle from his hands and failing. I’m only short, 5 foot and 3 inches so there is no need to be laughing.

“How did you get it though? You’re only 16.” Liam asked and pointed out the obvious.

“Zara gave it to me. That’s why mum shipped me off to live with Louis and you lot. I drink too much apparently and my friends are too much of a bad influence.” I told him, looking to the ground.

“I take it Zara is older than you.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t make me drink it. She just knows that I like to.” I explained, defending my best friend.

“Is that what you don’t want to Louis to know? That you drink?” He asked me, softening his tone but still clutching onto my vodka bottle. I just shook my head.

“My mum and the girls had the liberty of telling him that all for me this morning.”

“So what is it that you don’t want him to find out?” Liam asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. I thought about it for a moment. Was it more the fact that I smoked, which Louis hates, or Connor? Or both? I pulled my iPhone from my bag, unlocked it and pulled up the text message I had received from Connor before running off. I passed it to him; “Read it.” I told him, not bearing to look at his face.

“Someone told you to jump in front of a train?” Liam asked in disbelief.

“Yup.” I nodded, popping the ‘p’.

“Katie…” Liam whispered softly, pulling me into a hug. He rubbed my shoulders comfortingly, making small circles with his fingers.

“That’s what I don’t want Lou to find out about.” I whispered, tearfully.

“Katie, sweetie, Louis only wants to look after you. He wouldn’t be mad; he loves you and doesn’t want you to feel upset.” Liam told me, stroking my hair gently.  I loved how much Liam knew how to make me feel safe, loved and cared for.

“But it’s not just one message.” I said. “The day he left Connor started saying stuff like that to me. That’s why I drink, it takes away the pain.” I admitted, resting my head on Liam shoulder.

“Please, Katie, whilst you’re in London, stop drinking.” Liam begged, lifting my head and looking into my eyes.

“Okay. But you have to help me.” I agreed.

“Course I will.” He smiled, standing up and reaching down to take my hand. “And we’ll start with telling Louis.”

“No.” I complained, being dragged out of the park and over to Liam’s car.

“Yes.” He said, copying my tone and opening the passenger seat for me. He got in the driver’s side and we drove off, heading home.

We were soon back to Louis’ flat, the flat I had to call home for the next however long I was staying for.

“Katie?” Louis asked from the kitchen. He poked his head around the door and run up to me and hugged me when he saw that it was in fact Katie. “Oh, thank god you’re okay.” He squeezed me tightly like he was never going to let go. Which hurt, a lot. I tried to wince quietly, and thankfully Louis didn’t notice. “Why did you run off like that? You haven’t been here for ages, you could have got lost.” Louis asked, letting go and sounding more the like the protective brother that he was.

“Yeah…err, Liam wants to talk to you about that.” I mumbled, looking to the ground shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

“LIAM!!” He yelled out, knowing that he would have followed me inside. “Katie said you wanted to talk to me.”

“No, Katie needs to talk to you, she just doesn’t want to.” Liam told him, leaning against the doorframe. Why does he have to be so truthful? I groaned, looking up from the floor finally.

“Liam.” I complained, in a whining tone of voice.

“Katie.” Louis and Liam chorused, copying my tone of voice exactly. I gave in and fumbled around in my bag for my phone. I opened up the message and shoved it in Louis’ direction.

“F**k.” He muttered under his breath, but still loud enough to hear. I glanced up to see Liam trying his best not to whack him on the back for that, I guess he knows that Lou is more than a little bit shocked. Louis embraced me into a bone crushing hug, which literally crushed my already pretty much crushed bones.

“Ow.” I winced loudly, sucking air between my gritted teeth trying to block the pain out.

“Why do you keep on wincing?” Liam asked me, pulling me and Louis apart.

“Err…I do?” I lied, faking a confused look like I had no idea what he was on about.

“Yes, you do and you know it. So, why do you keep on wincing?” Liam folded his arms, meaning that I had to tell him.

“Errm, Connor may have or may not have maybe beaten me slightly yesterday.” I slowly admitted, trying my best to not make eye contact with either of them.

“F**k, he’s a bastard to do that to you.” Louis cursed.

“Louis, please, stop swearing.” Liam said, knowing that it wasn’t really the time or situation.

“You want me to stop swearing? Liam are you crazy? He f**king beat my little sister up and you want me to stop f**king swearing?” Lou shouted in return. It made me jump slightly and I closed my eyes to stop the tears from pouring down. Why do that? Connor only ever shouts at me, I don’t want them to hurt my like he did. I fell back against the wall and slid down it so I was sat folded up on the floor, head on my knees whilst I let the salty tears stream from my eyes.

I can’t let them hurt me.