Chapter 52

DIGGY’S P.O.V.

*at the funeral*

Diggy- *walks to the front* *looks at your body in the coffin* *breaks down and cries*

Roger- *hugs and holds him tight* It’s okay…

Diggy- *sobs and cries harder*

I took one look at her body… her lifeless body and cried so much. Her hair was perfectly curled, she was in her favourite white dress… only white for the girl that was my heart, soul, angel and wife. She even wore the diamond pendant I bought her when we were engaged. I broke down completely as the funeral went on… reaching in her open casket to hold her hand and cry beside her as I was on my knees. Roger led me back to my seat and I sat down, in tears, crying and crying…

What broke my heart was taking my little Shenae up there to say goodbye to her mommy… I had her in my arms and she looked into the coffin, asking her mom to wake up… when she didn’t, she got upset and cried…

Shenae- *cries* Mommy, wake up!!

Diggy- Baby, she’s not gonna wake up..

Shenae- I want my mommy back..!

Diggy- *holds her tight* I’m sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry…

*later on*

Diggy- *watches the coffin lower in the ground* *looks at Shenae*

Shenae- *sniffles and cries*

Diggy- *crouches down to her* She misses you.. so much Shay, you know that, right?

Shenae- *nods*

Diggy- *wipes her tears* I’m sorry this happened to us. I’m here now, okay? I’m here.. *hugs her*

*a few nights later*

YOUR P.O.V.

Shenae- *sleeping*

Y/N- Shenae?

Shenae- *distressedly tosses and turns*

Y/N- Shay, it’s me..

Shenae- *looks at the end of her bed*

Y/N- It’s me.

Shenae- *blinks repeatedly* Mommy…?

Y/N- *smiles and wipes her eyes* Yeah it’s mommy

Shenae- *sits up in bed* Mommy, where are you?

Y/N- I’m with God and the angels baby, he needed me

Shenae- I miss you, when are you coming back?

Y/N- This might be the last time you see me.

Shenae- *pouts* No..!

Y/N- *touches her face* You’re so beautiful baby, my little Shay. I need you to be good, okay? Everything’s gonna be okay. *holds her hand and kisses her head*

Shenae- Really?

Y/N- *nods* You need to take care of daddy because I have to go now..

Shenae- *cries* No mommy..

Y/N- *lets go of her* I’m sorry baby.. 

Shenae- *cries*

DIGGY’S P.O.V.

I woke up when I heard cries from my daughter’s room, I rushed in there to see Aria comforting Shenae as she cried. I was tired and confused, but she was crying so much

Diggy- *looks at them both* What’s wrong?

Aria- She said mommy came to her in her sleep

Diggy- *looks at Shenae* Is it true?

Shenae- *nods frantically*

Diggy- *sits next to her* 

Shenae- *points at the bed* She sat there…

Diggy- What did she say?

Shenae- She said everything was gonna be okay.. she said we’d be okay and I needed to take care of you

Diggy- *hugs Shenae tight*

Shenae- She touched me.. she held me.. I felt her *cries on his shoulder*

*a few days later*

Diggy- Shay, are you gonna be okay at school?

Shenae- *nods*

Diggy- Okay *kisses her head* If anything’s wrong, get your teacher to call me, okay?

Shenae- Yes daddy.. *walks into her class*

Diggy- *watches her go* *leaves*

I walked back out to my car, paparazzi across the road, taking pictures of me like they didn’t have enough of me already. I just wanted to live quietly now. I couldn’t stand the media or anyone else, just let me and my daughter living in peace is all I prayed for lately.

Aria- *looks at him* You okay?

Diggy- *sighs* *grips the steering wheel* I just want her back Ri… and I can’t have her

Aria- *tear falls* That was my sister too you know.. not just your wife

Diggy- *nods* I know..

*at the house*

Chris- *hands him a beer* We’re here for you

Roger- *pats his back* We all are

Diggy- *smiles a little at Roger* Thanks *opens and sips the beer*

Everyone was at the house now. Aria was always here to help with Shenae and Y/N’s things but she reminded me so much of her that sometimes I couldn’t take it. Chris, Kumi and Roger would always visit and Kendall was here too. So many people telling me it’d be okay but inside I knew it wouldn’t be okay, I was fed up of everyone telling me that.

And the press and media had an outburst when they heard Y/N died. A complete outburst. Social Media went crazy, thousands of tributes were paid and some people in Queens invited me out there to pay a tribute to her at their memorial. It was crazy. The press was all over me and Shay, my team had to refuse interviews for my own privacy…

Aria- *walks in* Do I need to get Shay from school?

Diggy- *nods* Please…

Aria- *walks upstairs*

Kendall- Dig, do you want something to eat?

Roger- Naw man, we just gave him a beer

Kumi- He shouldn’t be drinking beer, not with what just happened…

Harley- *runs up to him and barks*

Kendall- Now the dog is off on one.. *walks over to him* Down boy..

Diggy- *puts his hand over his head*

Harley- *barks loudly*

Chris- He needs to relax..

Kumi- He can’t be drinking and doing that

Roger- What’s wrong with that?

Diggy- *shouts* Everyone just shut up! *sighs*

*everyone looks at him*

Roger- Dig, we just care, that’s all..

Diggy- I don’t need the sympathy though

Kumi- But Y/N is gone. This is a sensitive time, you need us around you when it’s a time like this..

Diggy- Yeah, but none of this, are you okay business and treading around me and making sure I’m not upset, I hate that

Kendall- What do you want?

Diggy- I need to relax… could you all like, go get pizza or something, I need some time alone

Kumi- Come on guys, I’ll drive.. 

*everyone leaves*

Aria- *walks downstairs* Where is everyone?

Diggy- I don’t fuckin know, they just left

Aria- *confused* What’s with the attitude nigga?

Diggy- *looks at her* Fuck you

Aria- And fuck you too! 

Diggy- Bitch what?

Aria- Don’t make me walk over there and slap the lightskin outta you, I swear to god, you’ll be crying real tears and I’ll make you my bitch *smiles*

Diggy- *smiles* Come here *pats the seat next to him*

Aria- *walks over and sits next to him*

Diggy- *sighs* You’re like, the only person who hasn’t been sympathetic, sorry or even sensitive towards me. And that’s not what I need right now

Aria- *pats his shoulder* That what good sister-in-laws do…

Diggy- *smiles*

Aria- I need to pick up my niece, so.. *stands up and walks to the door*

Diggy- *watches her go* Ari..

Aria- *turns around* Yeah?

Diggy- Will I ever be able to… to.. *looks down and sighs*

Aria- Move on?

Diggy- *nods*

Aria- Yeah. Yeah, you always will *leaves*

*a week later*

Diggy- *tosses and turns* *grumbles in his sleep* No..

Y/N- Diggy..

Diggy- *opens his eyes* *sits up in bed* *blinks twice* What are you doing here?

She was here. My wife. Sitting at the end of my bed in jeans and a white t-shirt. She looked so perfect. Her hair was curly and her smile white, skin clear and eyes bright. It startled me, I couldn’t believe it.

Y/N- All I came to say was.. stop being so scared

Diggy- *confused* What do you mean?

Y/N- I mean.. the future Dig. It’s not as scary as it seems..

Diggy- It is babe, you don’t understand

Y/N- You’re not the one decomposing in the ground as we speak

Diggy- *looks away*

Y/N- *holds his chin* Look at me baby

Diggy- *looks at her*

Y/N- You have to move on.. and I mean it, you have to. You can’t be thinking about me all the time like this

Diggy- I can’t help it.. you have no idea how it felt to lose you Y/N

Y/N- And to see you crying like that and my little girl so unhappy, so scared that she’d never see her mommy, that broke my heart that I can’t ever speak to her again and tell her that she’ll be okay…

Diggy- *looks down* She misses you..

Y/N- Diggy, you’re gonna meet a really nice girl

Diggy- *looks up at you* Babe, no

Y/N- You will. You’ll be scared, you’ll be hesitant and wary of falling in love.. but you will fall in love with her.

Diggy- I don’t wanna forget you

Y/N- I never said you would *holds his hand* She won’t let you. Or Shay.

Diggy- Are you sure?

Y/N- I’m sure. I miss you up there

Diggy- *smiles a little and a tear falls* I miss you too

Y/N- *leans in and kisses him slowly*

Diggy- *kisses you back*

I sat up in bed quickly, panicked distressed and overwhelmed and my head was sweating… I looked at the end of the bed in the dark room.. she wasn’t there. But it looked like someone had been sitting there. It was just a dream. Too good to be true. I felt my face and there were tears already there, my lips felt moist and my pillow had tears on it.

The moon shone through my room and I looked out the window and into the sky, asking if she just visited me and talked to me or if I was dreaming. Because this wasn’t the first time. This wasn’t a coincidence.

*four years later*

Diggy- *sits Shay on the couch* Daddy will be right back, just stay here with Trey, okay?

Shenae- *nods*

Diggy- *walks in the booth*

I was recording again for my next album. I released one a year after Y/N’s death… after her death, I changed. My priorities changed. Shay was my only priority. So it wasn’t necessary to be at clubs, smoking weed or even travelling all the time just to see my friends open up a club or for album launches or strip clubs… I’d trade all that to be at home with my baby girl and reading her a fairytale or watch animations with her anyday.

She sat with Trey and Russy who attended to her and she chatted to them happily as I recorded. She watched me rap and listened to the song, she was really growing up.. 

*half an hour later*

Trey- *comes back in the room* Aite..

Diggy- *looks up* Aite what?

Trey- I got a friend comin here soon. I’m tellin you, the song will be fire when they get here, I’ve seen the lyrics and heard it, it’s so good

Diggy- *claps his hands* Good.

Russy- What about the other songs? Play em..

Diggy- *grabs the laptop* *sits on the couch and plays the songs*

*an hour later*

Diggy- *laughs*

Trey- I ain’t never done that man… next time you meet a girl, her weight is the last thing you talk about

Diggy- You’re so stupid…

Russy- So? I don’t see you getting any girls

Diggy - Cause I’m not interested in anybody.

*door knocks*

Trey- Come in…

Tinashe- *walks in and smiles* Hi…

Trey- Hey.. *stands up and greets her* Nash, this is Russy and Diggy. 

Tinashe- *hugs them* Hi..

Russy- Hi.

Diggy- *smiles* Hey..

Tinashe- *sees Shenae* Is that your daughter?

Diggy- *looks at her* Yeah, yeah, that’s Shay..

Tinashe- *crouches down and reaches her hand out* Hey, I’m Tinashe..

Shenae- *stays quiet* *looks away shyly*

Tinashe- Aw, she’s adorable. How old is she?

Diggy- She’s eight.

Tinashe- She looks like you

Diggy- Thanks… *smiles at her*

Tinashe- *smiles at him*

Trey- *looks at Russy*

Russy- *raises his eyebrows* *clears his throat*

Diggy- *looks away and laughs to himself*

Tinashe- *looks at Trey* Do I need to get in the booth?

Trey- Yeha, show Dig that verse you’ve been working on..

Tinashe- *walks in*

Diggy- *watches her go*

Trey- *looks at Diggy* Dig..

Diggy- *looks up at him* Wassup?

Trey- We see you..

Diggy- *laughs* What?

Russy- That look.. you don’t look at any girl like that..

Diggy- *shrugs* I don’t know

Trey- Don’t “I don’t know” me man, I know you..

Diggy- *looks down and laughs*

Russy- Go for it.. Y/N would want you to

Diggy- *looks at Tinashe in the booth* We’ll see…

Y/N- *smiles* I told you so Diggy.

Diggy- *looks behind him* *looks around* Did you hear that?

Russy- *looks at him* Hear what?

Diggy- *pauses* Nothing.

Russy- *looks back at his phone*

Diggy- *thinks*

Y/N- *whispers* It’s okay Daniel. It’s fine, just do it..

Diggy- *looks beside him* You think so?

Y/N- *nods*

Diggy- *looks down* *looks up* *sees you’re gone* *sighs and looks at Tinashe in the booth*