Chapter 51

YOUR P.O.V.

*hours later that night*

*police and the media arrive at the scene*

News Reporter- *speaking to the camera* There has been a huge accident at the scene of the Route 495 Interstate in New York. Caused by a truck which swerved onto the other side of the road, crashing into three vehicles. No deaths but an estimated five accidents have occurred so far in several of the vehicles that were severely hit. Bodies are still being pulled from the truck and emergency services have been called

Police- *surround the accident*

Police- *take details of the cars and vehicles*

Y/N- *moves head back and forth* Daniel…

Medic- We’re getting you to the hospital, can you tell us your name sweetheart?

Y/N- *grumbles* It’s Y/N…

Medic- *lifts you into the ambulance* We’re getting you to the hospital as soon as we can Y/N.. stay with us

Y/N- *closes eyes*

Medic- I think we’re losing her.. move quickly!

Ambulance- *doors close*

*the next morning*

DIGGY’S P.O.V.

Diggy- *wakes up* *sees Shenae on his lap* Huh? *slides her off carefully* Shh…

Shenae- *wakes up a little* Daddy?

Diggy- *looks at her and kisses her head* Yes baby? Just go back to sleep honey, it’s still early

Shenae- *nods and falls back asleep*

Diggy- *looks at the clock* Damn, too early.. *walks around the house* *calls* Y/N? Babe, you here?

*doorbell rings*

Diggy- *walks to the intercom and answers it* Hello?

Police- Am I speaking to Daniel Simmons?

Diggy- *confused* Yes you are..

Police- Could you let us in?

Diggy- Of course.. *buzzes them in* *opens the door*

Police- *approach the door*

Diggy- What can I do for you officers?

Policemen- *looks at each other*

Police- Sir, we are sorry to tell you that… your wife Y/N Simmons.. she has died in an accident on the New York Interstate Route 495

Diggy- *eyes widen* *starts to shake* Wh…what?

Police- It occurred late last night and she was taken to hospital in the early hours of the morning.. but we are told she died soon after reaching the emergency services

Diggy- *shakes his head frantically* No, no, no this can’t be true.. you must be lying to me.. *tears form in his eyes*

Police- We are deeply sorry for your loss sir..

Diggy- *breaks down in tears* *covers his face and crouches to the ground* *cries*

Police- *rub his back* Can we offer to take you to the Morgue at the hospital?

Diggy- Yes please…

Shenae- *gets up* Daddy? Why are you crying?

Diggy- *looks at her* Um.. *sniffles* Daddy got some bad news sweetie.. I have to go and visit some people. Will you be good for me when I leave you with Auntie Kumiko?

Shenae- *nods*

Diggy- *almost whispering* Okay. .*wipes his tears* *to the officers* Can you just.. give me a minute?

Police- Of course.. *walk away from the house*

Diggy- *closes the door* Shay… go and pack all your favourite stuff for your aunt please..

Shenae- Okay.. *runs upstairs*

Diggy- *watches her go* *cries even more* *crouches to the ground*

And that was the moment my heart was ripped from my chest

*later on*

When I got to the hospital, I was already met by Aria, Dante and their parents. I couldn’t have Shenae with me.. hell, how would I tell my own daughter that her mommy died? I couldn’t believe it myself. I still couldn’t. It’d hit me hard.. I mean that was my wife.. my soulmate, the mother of my only daughter. I had nothing else to live for but Shenae now that Y/N was gone.. I had told Kumi and Kendall and they were in complete shock. They couldn’t speak. Fuck it, no one could.

Assistant- Are you okay?

Diggy- *nods and sniffles* I’m nervous..

Assistant- *lifts the sheet*

Diggy- *gasps and cries* *covers his face*

Michelle- *nods and cries*

Diggy- *crying* That’s my baby.. that’s my baby..

Aria- *cries on his shoulder*

Michelle- *hugs Jordan*

Jordan- *rubs her back*

She was there. Dead. I just.. I can’t describe how much pain she must have been in. She was emotionless.. her skin was pale, almost greying. They’d closed her eyes too and her hair. The hair she’d worried about so much was untamed around her head. I just cried.

Cried, constantly. My heart was torn from me, my soul had been drained, I looked at her lifeless and almost colourless body, her face and features and I could hear her voice in my head telling me "I love you" over and over. It haunted me but comforted me.

I crouched to the side of it, tears flooding down my cheeks and onto my shirt and the floor.I stroked her cheek, whispering “I love you” to her so many times like she would do for me. I couldn’t fucking believe it.

My wife was actually dead.

*days later*

Diggy- *covers his face*

Stacey- She’s arranged everything… down to the last detail. She wanted to be buried and not cremated, that’s one thing..

Diggy- *silent*

Stacey- *looks at him* *holds his hand* It’s gonna be okay.

Diggy- *shakes his head* It’s not.

Stacey- *sighs*

Diggy- You know the one thing that’s killing me? I can’t even tell my daughter that it’s happened. I can’t!

Stacey- You have to..

Diggy- How!?

Kendall- *stands up* Diggy, calm down..

Diggy- *cries and shouts* I can’t, alright!? I fucking can’t.. my wife is gone and I can’t find the words to tell my little princess that her mommy is gone forever and it’s killing me to think about it. We’ll never see her again..

Kendall- Neither will I Dig.. or Stace.. no one will. How do you think we feel?

Diggy- *cries more*

Kendall- *hugs him tight and cries*

Stacey- I didn’t know how to tell you this at first..

Diggy- *looks up* What?

Stacey- The hospital told me that um.. Y/N wasn’t the only one that died

Kendall- *confused* How do you mean?

Stacey- She.. she was pregnant. Two months..

Diggy- *struggles to speak* So.. so…

Kendal- Oh my God *covers her face*

Diggy- So.. I lost my wife. And my future child? This just… *wipes his face* This doesn’t get any better..

*the next day*

It was a long day. The funeral directors came early and we went over the arrangements for the funeral on Sunday… Y/N, the neat freak and frequent planner that she was, had actually done it all to the last detail, paying for it all and sparing us all any stresses. I can’t believe she’d done that. 

I’d notified everyone close to us about the ceremony. Word broke out in the media soon after we visited her corpse. I couldn’t bear to see it many times after that, my feelings, my emotions.. they couldn’t handle seeing her so weak and lifeless.

I refused to let any strangers, assistants or anyone didn’t know to go through her stuff. I recruited Roger, Kendall, Aria and Dante to help me and we cleared everything she owned. Everything she wouldn’t need anymore… but my clothes she’d always borrow? Her love letters to me, photos and perfume? That all stayed.

Diggy- *on the phone* Thanks.. I will do. Alright… bye.. *hangs up* *sighs*

Shenae- *walks in the office* Daddy?

Diggy- *looks up* Yes sweetheart?

Shenae- When will mommy be back?

Diggy- *falls silent* I er..

Shenae- You said she went on a long trip and it’s been a long time

Diggy- *breathes deeply* *prays a little to himself* Come and sit on my lap baby, I need to tell you something..

Shenae- *walks up to him*

Diggy- *sits her on his lap* You know mommy loved you very much, right?

Shenae- *nods*

Diggy- Well… *clears throat* The thing is, mommy left a few days ago. She went somewhere really special where she belongs.

Shenae- Where?

Diggy- *sniffles* Up where the angels go honey.. she went with the„ because mommy was an angel too and God wanted her back.. she did her hard work here and he wanted her back..

Shenae- *pouts* But she was my mommy..!

Diggy- And she still is.. she’s gone baby. She um.. she died in an accident on Saturday night. She didn’t make it back to us because God needed her more than we did and it was important for her to take her.. so… she’s never coming back

Shenae- *eyes fill up with tears* I want my mommy!

Diggy- *hugs her tight and cries* I know.. I want her back too. But she’s always here. She always is. She’ll always be watching you, always with you, she won’t leave your side.. I promise

Shenae- *cries even more* I miss my mommy…

Diggy- *holds her tight*

*that night*

Diggy- *tucks Shenae in bed* *kisses her head* *walks out of her room*

I went back to the bedroom and sorted through the mess of Y/N’s things.. why did she have to have a lot of things? I went through all her contracts, papers and documents she’d left behind and the pile of letters in a bag.. it was heavy, I looked at them all.. they were small letters to her family, the looked recent. Then I found one with my name on it.

Diggy- *opens it*

"I never wanted to write this.. it was so easy writing it to everyone else because they weren’t you. You’re the only person I struggle to find words for. You taught me love. What it was, where I’d find it and I found it in you and then later in Shenae. Someone and probably the only person we can share.

If this letter gets to you.. you know what it means. It means I’m gone. You can probably see the tears on the paper while you read this.. I wrote it when you were in Philly for an appearance and this was one of the things I wanted to do. I missed you. I always will miss you.

Every time I think of you, I smile so hard. When I’m in a meeting and you message me, I smile instantly, and I shouldn’t because they’re serious meetings! But you brighten my day. Every time we kiss and our lips touched so softly, I got this huge magical feeling I never had with anyone else. It was the same feeling as when we had our first kiss and I love it. I never want to pull away.

Why is it that when we’re apart it so painful? Like, why the fuck do you do that to me? You’ve always had this thing over me… no matter what happened between us, who came between or who else we were with, we always got pulled back together. Inseparable. You got me away from what would have been a crazy step-mom and an abusive boyfriend and I can’t thank you enough for being in my life.

You’re my heart and soul, the reason I am so happy. Without you, I’m nothing and I know how hard this is for you to read right now… you’re the person I could turn to when my biggest fears were in front of me, when no one else helped me, when I needed help and guidance and support, a hug or even a smile, you never failed to be there. I cannot say I love you enough times for you to really understand it. You’re my husband and my bestfriend. So irreplaceable.

You’ve shown me so much love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You’re my world and I love you with all my heart. Every night if we were apart or even together, in my prayers, I’d ask God to protect you and Shenae more than myself.

Every time we made love, you made me feel like the luckiest woman alive, the only woman in the world. When you were above me, it was all that I wanted.. and now I’m the one looking over you as you sleep, when you wake and to keep you safe in your dreams. I’ll always be there to make sure you’re safe.

I know your biggest fear was losing me, but Daniel, we knew it would happen someday. iI know it was something you never wanted to think about or even imagine, but all I know is that you’ll be okay. You and Shay, you’ll both be fine. 

You’re an impatient little bitch sometimes, I have to be honest. And I hate the way you are when you have an attitude, when you don’t get your own way or best of all when you know I’m right… the fights were worth it. I’m stubborn and you’re so annoying but we work.

And I know you don’t want to and you don’t believe me… but you’ll have a better life without me. Just promise you won’t forget me Daniel. I’ll see you soon on the other side… we will meet again, I promise you.

All the love in the world from the love of your life, Y/N xxx”