Part 42

Lexa POV:

I watched as Clarke fell back asleep. I didn't. I couldn't because she had untied the rope that kept me at bay and I didn't want to hurt her again so I didn't want to go back to sleep.

I saw as the sun starting to come up and the sky started to change to warmer colors.

I got out of bed slowly and listened to my surroundings. The house was quiet, really quiet.

Nobody was awake yet and I'm pretty sure Abby was at work. I quietly went outside and watched the sunrise. I hadn't done that in a while. I would have gone for a run or worked out but I don't physically think I could. Plus, Abby and Clarke would kill me if they found out.

Let out a sigh into the open air. Not only was my father still out there somewhere, ready to beat my ass or kill me if he wants, but he also wants Clarke, Luna and Raven along with me. And he was angry, so angry. Angrier than I have ever seen him and that is saying something.

I couldn't let that happen to them. I couldn't let him touch them but I also couldn't bring myself to leave them again. It is selfish I know, but I can't stop it.

I closed my eyes and thought about what had happened that week. It was one hell of a week that's for sure. Well more specifically, what I didn't tell anyone and what I didn't want to believe myself.

*Flashback*

I was walking through the icy lands of the place they had called Azgeda. I had never been here before but I already knew I didn't like it. Something about the air that just made the bait on the back of my neck stand up.

I had a hood from my sweatshirt over my head and a hat to prevent anyone from seeing my identity or the bruises I had forming all over my face and body.

I had just arrived and I wasn't sure what I was doing or where exactly I was going. I just had to keep moving, that's all I knew.

I saw a pub and just at the sight, my body ached to sit down, to rest for just a bit. So I went inside to get out off the streets and ease my bodies tension.

There were so many people in there, stacked together while sweat and body odor filled the room. It was disgusting but exactly what I needed for cover. They were mostly large men but they all had tattoos and scaring all over their bodies. Odd. I wonder what goes on here where they have to do this to themselves.

I just sat down at the bar that was already crowded with people and ordered a drink. The bartender handed me a drink and I grabbed it, without even looking at her and I drank the whole thing, quickly.

My body relaxed as the alcohol corded through my veins, numbing some of the pain into dullness. It felt good not to have to think about that anymore.

I looked around the bar in more detail while I sat there until my eyes fell on the bartender who served me my drink. I didn't look at her before, when she poured me my drink but I felt like I knew her. As soon as I made eye contact with her I bolted out of the building faster than I ever have before. No, I can't do this, not now.

When I got outside I put my back against the wall and my legs fell to the floor, my chest breathing hard and my heart thumping loudly in my chest. There is no way it was her, I repeated in my head over and over again. But the doubt started to seep in.

I looked back in through the window and I watched her eyes light up, every time she talked to a customer or made a drink. The small movement of  her mouth as she laughed and the swiftness of how she moved. The placement of her golden brown hair and golden, honey eyes in the light of the sun coming through the window. She had the same features, even if they have matured and tightened and more prominent than before, but that happens with time.

It was definitely her. It couldn't be anybody else but her. I couldn't handle this right now. On top of everything, this was the last thing I needed. I haven't seen her or heard from her in over three years now.

She left without even telling me goodbye. I don't blame her for leaving, but not saying goodbye broke my heart even more. But worst of all, I had to hear it from my dad who just flaunted it in my face and laughed at me.

I never thought I would ever see her again, considering the circumstances. The deal she made with my father. Costia, the first one to ever break my heart so deeply. My first love, gone, without saying goodbye.

Shit. I am no better than her. I'm a hypocrite. That's what I did to Clarke. I left her without saying goodbye, without telling her where I was going and I haven't communicated with her since I left. Exactly like Costia did to me.

I needed to leave. I needed to get out of here and back to her. Back to Clarke. I took one last look through the window at her, taking in her again before I left.

She seemed happy, so free again, it should stay that way. That's all I ever wanted for her. It's what she deserves after what happened with my father. So I walked away from her this time.

I didn't want to be here anymore, in this place. So I carried on with my mission so I could get back to Clarke. I slipped the tracker onto someone else that I "accidentally" bumped into on the overly crowded streets and I got out of this cold ass city.

I never want to come back here.

*end flashback*

I opened my eyes again and the sun was a little higher in the sky and the warm pink and oranges of the sunrise were dissolving slightly and fading into the blue that was overtaking the entire sky.

I saw Abby walk out of the house from the corner of my eye and turned my head to face her. I guess she hadn't left for her shift after all.

"Hey Lexa, what are you doing out here?" She asked with so much concern. She had grown to be someone I view as a parental figure. She will never be my mother, but she is the closest thing I have to a parent. "I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake anyone up," I said as I got up and walked over to her.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" She asked as she looked at me. "I am doing better thank you," I answered and some of the worry left her face but not all of it.

"Are you thinking of leaving again? And I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for Clarke because it hit her pretty hard last time," she asked. I wouldn't expect anything less of her to ask. Clarke is her child and I know I hurt her by leaving, and I know it may have affected Abby as well, seeing her daughter so hurt, it pains me to even think of it.

I looked down at the floor before I answering. "I don't want to leave her again, but I won't put her in danger, I hope you can understand at least that. And if, if I leave again, which I don't want to, I will tell her, and you, I promise." I said and she seemed satisfied with my answer by the small smile that fell onto her face.

"You love her don't you?" She asked and my eyes went wide at her words. "I-I-um," I couldn't get out any words.

"It's ok, you don't have to say it." She chuckled a little before walking towards her car. "I do," I said and she stopped and turned around. "I do love her," I said and I watched Abby's face light up at my words, a satisfying smile curving on her lips.

"Well why are you telling me?" she said as she motioned me to go back in the house before she got into her car. I waved goodbye to her as she drove out of the driveway and down the road.

I walked back inside and Luna and Raven were standing around in the kitchen.

"Hey I didn't know you were out there. How long have you been awake?" Luna asked as I entered, she also seemed concerned as well. That seems to be the theme around this house. 

"Um- a couple hours I think, Clarke didn't tie me back up so I didn't want to sleep," I said without even considering my words and Luna spit her water out.

"Kinky," Raven said with a wide smirk and Luna burst out laughing. I forgot to think before I said that, especially when talking to two very horny people who didn't know the context of the situation.

"It's not like that. I tied my hands together so I wouldn't hurt her again," I said, looking at the ground, I hated thinking about harming Clarke, even if it was hypothetical.

They both tried to hold back their laughter and become serious. It's wasn't working very well. "That's actually....really smart," Luna said and Raven nodded her head, still giggling. No doubt picturing the scenario in her head.

Clarke walked in next and gave us all a small smile.

"Good morning Clarkie," Raven said cheerfully. "Good morning Rae" Clarke said with much less enthusiasm, sleep still draining her.

"So Clarkie... fun times in the bedroom?" Raven teased and Clarke just rolled her eyes while Luna started laughing again.

"On that note, I am going to go shower," I said with an eye roll as I walked out of the room.

I turned on the water and took my clothes off. I looked over my body in the mirror and the cuts were healing well, but my body was still bruised. O hate how it's like this still. I hate how my body looks now. I just want a body without bruises and cascades but I guess that will never happen. I sighed and got under the hot water and it started to sting as soap ran over my cuts.

Clarke POV:

Lexa walked past me and into the bathroom and I sat down on the kitchen counter with Luna and Raven.

"So when you going to make your move Clarkie?" Raven said as she wiggled her eyebrows at me. I just rolled my eyes at her, I don't know what was making her so happy lately, Luna probably.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I downed a glass of water that cooled my dry throat. "You know, Lexa is back and you're obviously in love with her so when are you gonna tell her?" She said and I choked on the water and looked at her with wide eyes.

"What?" I managed to get out though my coughing. "Clarke how on earth are you the last person to realize you are in love with Lexa Woods?" Raven said and my mouth was open but no words were coming out.

"The last person except for Lexa Woods," Luna chimed in and Raven nodded her head. I feel like I am being ganged up on here.

"Uh, we aren't going to talk about this," I said as I jumped off of the counter. "Why not?" Raven called after me.

"Because, Lexa's life is a mess right now. She said she was going to have to leave again and I don't want to put myself through something if she is not going to even be here," I said as I looked at the ground. I didn't even want tot think of Lexa leaving again.

"That is probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard," Luna said, raven nodding along.

I tilted my head to the side and looked at them funny because it made complete sense in my head. And that can't possibly be the stupidest thing she has heard because she is dating Raven, stupid shit is bound to pop up all the time.

"I can guarantee that Lexa's life will be so much simpler and easier if you just tell her how you feel," Luna said as she put her hands down on the edge of the counter.

"No, that is exactly the entire problem. Her dad wants to kill her because she is close to me. Being together would just make it so much worse for her," I said as I sat down and put my hands on my forehead. I really don't want to think about this.

"Clarke honey, I don't think it can get any worse. Honestly, at this point, I would just go for it." Raven said as she shrugged her shoulders and looked at me. "I don't know," I said, still rubbing either side of my head.

"Alright but it worked for me and Luna so..." she said as she pecked Luna on the lips. "Yeah well Luna was never on the run from her dad that tried to kill her so I think you have it easy." I chuckled sarcastically.

"Touché" Raven said as she furrowed her eyebrows at what I said.

Lexa walked out of the bathroom and she was in her sports bra and shorts, her shirt in her arms as she was about to put it on. Of course she would do this to me now. Her toned muscles just drawing my eyes in.

She didn't see us at first and Raven nudged me a little, taking me out of my stare, "So you're telling me that you really want to pass on that," she said as she pointed to Lexa.

I hit her arm and that's when Lexa saw us and came over. You could see her whole body and all of her scars. It was kinda hot not going to lie though. But I was more concerned with the bruises that still rested on her body.

Lexa POV:

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Raven, Luna and Clarke. Usually I would want to cover all my bruising and scars completely but they have already even it so I didn't mind. I walked over to them.

"Hey," I said as I got closer to them. "Sick scars. It's hot," Raven said immediately and Luna nudged her.

"What? You know I love you, I'm just saying," she said, defending herself with her hands raised. "She's not wrong," Clarke said, stepping in and my heart fluttered a little. She thinks my scars are cool. I feel like a teenager with a crush right now. "See," Raven said, pointing to Clarke.

"Ok, are we done with that? Because don't get me wrong, I love you guys. But, I need to talk to someone who doesn't look at me like I just got my ass handed to me for the past week," I said, slipping my shirt over my head to cover it up and Luna went to say something but I stopped her before she could even mutter the first word.

"And yes, I am completely aware I actually did get my ass handed to me but they don't need to know that." I said with a smirk.

"Does that mean you're ready to go back to school?" Raven asked excitedly and I nodded my head. I didn't want to but I know I had too.

"That's great but that shiner says otherwise," Luna said, pointing to my face. "I've covered up worse, I can do it again," I said so easily and Clarke nodded her head. She has helped me do that before.

"Really?" Raven asked as she looked skeptical at my words. "Almost the entire time I have known you Raven, I have covered up some kind of bruise," I said and Raven's jaw dropped.

"Ok you have to get over that quicker," Clarke said, physically closing Raven's mouth with her hand. "It's still a shock. I mean a couple of weeks ago I had no clue about any of this." Raven said. "Welcome to the inner circle," I said, raising my arms out dramatically.

The next day:

Lexa POV:

I didn't have a nightmare tonight, or at least I don't think I did. They have gotten so much better since Clarke has helped me. I turned over in the bed and gently woke the sleeping blonde from her slumber.

"Clarke we have school," I said whispered as I shook her gently. "I don't want to go," she mumbled as she put the pillow over her face.

"Come on," I said as I moved the pillow out of her face and sat up so I was looking down at her. She closed her eyes tightly and groaned. I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Are you ready for that?" She asked as she finally opened her eyes all the way.

"As ready as I can be," I answered as I ran my hand over her cheek and into her hair.

"What are you going to say to them?" She asked as she looked up at me. "I will just have to figure it out I guess but I won't have time to if you don't get up," I said as I began to pull her out of bed.

"Ugh" she grunted as she finally began to get ready. I pulled my shirt off and I faced away from her but I could feel her eyes on me.

"You know, I thought you would've gotten better at that since last time I caught you," I said, turning around after I slipped my shirt on.

"Yeah, I didn't miss how good you were at that," She said sarcastically and chuckled, her cheeks turning pick.

"Come on Griff, admit it, you missed that part too," I said as I stepped closer to her. She didn't say anything so I got closer, bringing our bodies and faces so closer together.

My eyes stared into her blue ones and jumped from eye to eye. "Fine, I missed that too," Clarke finally said as she stepped away. Victory secured.

"Clexa come on," we heard Raven shout. "Well I actually didn't miss that," I said, pointing to where the voice came from. "Come on let's go," Clarke said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me through the door.

"You ready Woods?" Raven said as we came into view. "Sure," I answered with a shrug as we walked out the door. Luna was already in the car and when she saw us she got excited.

"Hey Lex, you can't even tell anymore," Luna said, pointing to the spot on my eye where the bruise was. "Oh my god! I didn't even notice," Raven said surprised, now looking very closely at my face.

"I told you I could cover it," I said rather proud of myself. "Shut up, I did most of it," Clarke joked, hitting my arm as we got in the car.

We got to school and I suddenly got really nervous. I tried to hide it but I felt Clarke squeeze my hand. I guess she could tell.

"Alright gang, roll out," Raven said as she got out of the car. With the help of Luna because even though her walking has significantly improved, it was still difficult with the brace to get out of a car.

We walked over to everyone and I watched as all their faces lit up as their eyes fell on me. I felt even more nervous under all their watchful eyes but I kept my face calm and neutral as we approached.

"Lexa your back!" Lincoln said as he pulled me into a bear hug. "I am," I responded and pulled away from it.

"Where the hell have you been?" Octavia said as she hit me on the arm before pulling me into a hug. Quite the mix of emotions from her but I just went with it.

"I'm sorry I left, my dad took me across the country for one of his business trips and I lost my phone in the airport," I said and they all nodded their heads. Lie undetected.

"You are really good at lying," Luna leaned in and whispered to me so nobody else could hear. "I've had my practice," I whispered back to her.

"You scare me," Raven said next. I guess she overheard our conversation but nobody else seemed to. "I know," I said before joining Clarke as she was talking to Octavia.

"Hey O, I'm sorry about when you came over a little while ago," Clarke said. I'm guessing she was referring to when Octavia came over and they had to hide me from her. "It's ok Clarke, it was weird but ok," she said as she brought Clarke into a hug.

"I have an idea!" Raven said excitedly, jumping up and down as we all turned to look at her.

"Since we finally have everyone together again..." Raven said, pointing to me. "We should all get together and hang out again," she finished. Everyone smiled and agreed happily.

"Yeah, do you guys want to come over to my place this weekend?" Clarke asked, looking  around to everyone and they all nodded their heads.

"I have to go to class, I have missed a week's worth of work," I whispered to Clarke who nodded before I left the group.

I walked into the classroom and the teacher looked at me with anger in her eyes. Great, that's exactly what I need.

"Where have you been Ms. Woods? You have missed a weeks worth of work. Do you have any idea how far you are behind in class?" She said as she put her hands on her hips. I honestly tried not to laugh, she looked so awkward like that but I kept my cool.

"I am aware that I have missed a lot of school, that's why I am here, to get the work I missed." I responded trying to not sound rude. I tried my best to be respectful but she is such a big pain in my ass that it is difficult.

She handed me my work and it was so heavy I almost dropped it. I tried not to focusing the smug look on her face, like she almost found joy in it. "Jeez" I said under my breath as I managed my stack of papers.

I found Clarke and walked with her until she got to her classroom. "You got all caught up?" She asked. "Yep, the mound of papers in my locker is overflowing," I said with a laugh.

When we got to her classroom I looked up and saw Bellamy Blake. I wanted to rip the smug look on his face off but Clarke held my hand and pulled me back from doing so.

"Lexa don't," She said and I turned to look at her. Her calm, blue, ocean eyes made me relax for a bit. "Good, see," she said as my muscles relaxed. "Ok Lex I need to get to class," she said and I let go of her hand and we both went into our separate classrooms.

I found them at lunch and sat next to my favorite blonde. "Lexa look at me," she said as she got up and went to the other side of me so my back was to the table and everyone else.

Her face was warm and friendly but beneath that, I could tell she was nervous. "Why Clarke?" I asked as I went to look around but she put her hands on my cheeks and repeated, "Lexa, just look at me."

She was actually scaring me a little now so I stood up and turned around. I saw Bellamy walking towards us and I rolled my eyes before a wave of anger hit me.

"We'll look who's back?" He said as he was accompanied by Finn, Murphy and Atom. He had that god awful smug smile on his face that I just wanted to smack off.

"Go away Bellamy," Clarke said and I motioned her behind me a little. "What's wrong princess? Missing our dance?" He said and his buddies all laughed behind him.

I went to lunge at him but Clarke held me back. I took a calm breath before I spoke to him. "I have just been itching to hit someone since I got back and I think I found my next candidates," I said while crossing my arms to hold them back from punching him right in the face.

"Relax Woods, we don't want to fight," he said sarcastically as he put his hands up in fake surrender.

"What? Afraid you are going to lose to a girl? Sorry, lose again," I said. I did this very much on purpose as I knew it would get a rise out of him. I moved Clarke back a little to prepare for what was to come while I stepped closer to Bellamy.

"You have been gone for awhile Woods, and you're not as strong as you think you are," he said, stepping closer, challenging me. "You want to bet," I said as I got the last word in before he threw a punch in my direction.

A sloppy punch, that's what it was. I dodged it and kicked him backwards. "I may have been gone but I am definitely as strong as I think I am," I said as his little minions charged towards me. Even better.

I moved out of the way of Atom's hit, ducked under Finns and caught Murphy's in my hand. They were somehow weaker then Bellamy and that is saying something.

Bellamy came over again and I hit him in the face before kicking the back of his knees to make him fall hard to the ground, then I kicked him in the back so his face hit the ground. I turned to his friends, "do you really want to do this?" I asked them as they circled me. "Alright," I said as they didn't back down.

"Leave," I heard someone say and I turned around and Clarke was walking towards me. "I was just having fun," I joked but they all backed down.

Except Bellamy. "Just leave before it gets worse for you Bell," she said to him. "I'm not leaving. Unless you want to come with me of course," he said, pointing to Clarke. I balled my fists, ready to hit him again.

"Fine," she said and I turned to look at her, completely broken. WHAT? How could she choose to go with him right now.

I didn't know the smug smirk on his face could get any bigger but it somehow did. My fists squeezed together even harder, not backing down until she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Trust me," she whispered in my ear as she walked past me, closer to him. I really wanted to kill him now.

Clarke got closer to him and he stuck his hand out for her. She looked at it then turned her head around to look back at me. She gave me a smile before she did something I never thought she would do.

She balled her fist and punched him in the face. My jaw dropped to the floor at what had just happened.

He put his hand over his nose and then looked back to Clarke and then to me. "I'm going to say this one more time Bellamy. Leave," she said and Bellamy clenched his jaw before he eventually walked away, not wanting to be embarrassed even more.

I ran up to her and lifted her up in the air in a hug. "I can't believe I just did that," she said as she shook her hand in pain.

"I guess my lessons proved well, nice form." I said and she laughed hysterically and I put her back down on the ground.

"Damn Griff," Raven said as we walked back over to the table. "Yeah, I didn't know you could punch like that," Luna said, looking from Clarke to me, eyeing me knowingly.

"Uh, I had a good teacher," Clarke said, looking at me. "Why am I not surprised?" Lincoln said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry O," Clarke said, looking at Octavia with a little regret. She did just punch her brother. "It's ok Clarke, I mean, he had it coming and I have to admit, that was pretty cool," she said with a small smile. She seemed a little worried but not too upset about it.

We finished lunch and went to our classes. I got a crap ton of more work from my teachers. I will never leave again because the amount of work I have is extreme. After school was done I met back up with Luna, Raven and Clarke and we went home.

"So what do you guys have planned for the rest of the day?" Raven said, wiggling her eyebrows and pointing to me and Clarke. I pulled out the giant pile of work I was given and raised my eyebrows back at her.

"Ok never mind, Luna let's go, I don't want any part in this," she said as she dragged Luna away by her hand.

"Fun right?" I joked to Clarke. "Yeah you sure did miss a lot," she said as she ran her finger of the stack of papers. "Well, let's get started," I said, sitting down and pulling out the first worksheet.

This is going to be a long night.