Therapeutic

Sarai's POV"What?! Just tell me what it is Durk........please. You've been acting so different lately—

"I messed up."

"What do you mean you messed up?"

At this point, I don't know if Durk is just saying this because he's high or something really happened...

He started dozing off so I shook him violently to wake him back up but he didn't budge.

"Hmm..." was all he said as he barely opened his eyes and they immediately shut again.

I won't be able to sleep until I know what exactly he means by 'he messed up' so I got out of bed and turned all the lights on in our room.

"Durk" I said sitting next to him but he started snoring.

"DURK" I said a little louder as I shook his body again.

As he fully woke up he stared at me for a few minutes but I just couldn't read him.

A few more seconds of silence passed and then a smurk started to creep across his face.

He laughed before saying "What Sarai?"

"You said you messed up, what did you mean by that?" I asked again nervously...

"Oh uh..." he responded looking around the room as if he was thinking of something to say.

"Just a few minutes ago you said you needed to tell me something serious, you forgot what it was that quickly?" I asked again because honestly my patience is running thin......but I don't want to get into another argument tonight.

"It's nothing, I was just trippin.." Durk smiled before he turned over and fell back asleep.

"Okay..." was all I said before getting up to turn all the lights off again.

Clearly he doesn't want to say what it was, maybe it was nothing.______________The next day - 6:30pmLocation: Durk's in-house recording studio

Von's POV"Aye Rai, you feelin this song me and bro got goin?" I asked Sarai as she sat in the corner of Durk's studio quiet as hell...seem like something on her mind.

"Yes.........it's great." she whispered barely looking up at me.

"I gotta take this call." Durk said quickly walking out the room so it's just Sarai and I in here now.

I tried writing some new lyrics but the vibe in here ain't working for me.

I threw my paper down and Sarai immediately jumped back and looked terrified.

"You good folks?" I laughed

She just shook her head yes and went back to staring at her phone.

The screen was black so all she was doing was staring at nothing.

"Aye, for real...is everything alright?" I asked concerned again.

"Not today Von—

"It ain't even like that, I'm asking for real?"

"Well.......—

"...I mean you used to be quiet but not this damn quiet."

"Just trying not to think about Bryce." was all she said without even looking at me...but I don't think that's it.

Before I could respond Durk walked back in the room.

"Aye Sarai, I'm hungry baby can you go make me some food realquick?" Durk asked Sarai before he started recording again.

"Sure........what would you like?" Sarai asked him with a fake ass smile.🥲

"Make me some curry chicken bird.......nah, better yet just make me some salmon with some good sides and shit."

"Okay." was all Sarai said before jumping out the chair and rushing out the studio.

Sarai's POVI was happy to finally get out of that studio because being around Durk and him practically ignoring me while he makes music is draining.

Durk was pretty demanding with his meal request but I'm his wife so I'll just make it happen.

As I was about to press the up button for the elevator to go up to the kitchen, I heard someone walking right behind me.

I turned around and it was Durk with his backpack and keys, looks like he's leaving for the 3rd time today?!

"Is everything okay?" I asked him confused

"Yeah yeah, don't worry about making the food baby I'll be back." he quickly responded before trying to press the button to open the elevator but I stood in front of it so he couldn't

"What the hell are you doing Sarai?! I gotta go—

"Durk....first of all, where could you possibly have to go at almost 7pm? You already handled your label stuff earlier today."

"Some more stuff came up."

"Like what?"

"What I tell you about questioning me and nagging me so damn much Sarai?! You not my mama!"

"I'm not trying to be either, but as your wife I think I deserve to know your whereabouts...I mean we have to have some sort of boundaries here."

"Like I said, I gotta handle some work shit. You the feds now or what?! That should be enough information for you, now I'm about to be late—

"Okay well I want to go with you."

"Why?! You don't trust me now or something?!"

"I do, I just want to spend time with you."

"Here yo ass go just being clingy and shit again." Durk said rubbing his face with frustration and dropping his backpack.

That word clingy honestly triggered me and made me slightly angry.

If Durk wants space from me, I'll give him just that.

"Fine, just come on Sarai..." Durk said picking his backpack up but it's clear from the tone of his voice that he doesn't really want me to go with him.

"Don't worry about it" was all I said in return, no emotion.

"See now you playin games"

"I'm not, you're busy and there's no need for me to involve myself in what doesn't concern me." I said as nicely as possible and he looked confused.

"Aight? Well I should be back in a few hours." Durk responded leaning in to hug me but I dodged it.

"Sarai—

"What? You think I want to hug you after— you know what nevermind Durk— I snapped turning around but he quickly spun me back around by my shoulders.

"You making this shit bigger than what it has to be, now gimme kiss— Durk said leaning in but I lightly shoved him back.

"No, you just don't realize that I can do exactly what you're doing and then let's see how you feel."

"That's a threat?"

"I'm just saying...........if you think I'm clingy then just know I can show you the exact opposite."

"Cap. As soon as I get back you gon be whining for me to—

"Nope don't think so." I said inching my face closer to his.

"Mhm, we will see." he smurked before finally pressing the button for the elevator to open.

"Have fun at........work Durk. It's almost becoming therapeutic when you're gone" was all I said before turning around to walk in the opposite direction.

"Yeah okay" was all he said in response before I heard the elevator doors close.

I walked back just to make sure he was gone and then I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I slid down the wall and started crying my eyes out.

I just don't understand, or maybe my expectations are too high...

I looked up and flinched when I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was Von.

"Aye, why you crying?" he asked sitting down next to me.

"Were you listening to our conversation?" I snapped at Von and he just looked back at me like I was crazy.

"Nah shorty, a nigga just getting ready to leave." Von responded annoyed

"................I'm just so stressed out, sorry." I apologized

"You ain't got nothin to apologize to me for shittttt, you wanna talk about it?"

"No I.........no......well........no I don't, but thank you."

"Is it about Durk?" he continued to question me and when I heard his name a tear fell out of my eye.

"Imma take that as a yes" was all Von said

"I just don't understand him lately, where did he tell you he was going when he left the studio?"

"He said a business dinner or something."

"With who?"

"I didn't ask."

"Well why not?!" I asked a little louder

"because I ain't care to know, all this attitude you giving me you should be giving Durk." Von responded getting ready to get up again but I grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Wait.............don't go.....yet." I barely smiled and he sat back down next to me.

"Ugghhh..." was all I said banging my head back against the wall as we sat there again in silence.

"Where did he tell you he was going?" Von asked me

"He just said he needed to take care of business, which he seems to always be doing."

"I mean Durk is the owner of the label so he do be having a lot of shit going on, I wouldn't overthink it." Von said defending him.

"Maybe you're right..............I'm just going to go lay down." I said on the verge of tears again.

"That'll just make you more depressed than what you already are" Von quickly responded standing up with me.

"Well, what other option do I have..." I asked sadly.

"Why don't you hang out with yo friends or some shit, have fun, doDurk how he doin you if you feel some type of way."

"I mean...I can't just leave here without Durk knowing, that would be disresp—

"Ah ah ah" 🖐🏾 Von said cutting me off "did he tell you exactly what he was doing?"

"No..."

"Okay then" Von said smiling down at me and I slightly smiled back up at him.

"I think I have an idea."________________2 hours later...

Von kind of did have a point...if Durk can go out and do whatever he wants unannounced, why shouldn't I?

I called Leslie and my cousin Leah and we are all going to go out and have fun.

I did my hair and makeup super nice for the first time in awhile and decided to put on this dress...

As I was getting ready to walk out, Olai stopped me and said "Ummmm Sarai..."

"Yes?"

"Are you and Durk going on a date or something?"

"No? He's not even here right now."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm going out to have fun."

"Fun?"

"Yes, fun."

"How does Sarai Bloom define fun?"

"You mean Banks?"

"Whatever, I just have barely seen you get up and brush your hair lately but I hope you have fun." she responded turning around quickly.

"Wait"

"What?"

"Can I feel comfortable with the fact that you won't try unaliving yourself again if I leave?"

"Of course, it was just a bad moment. Plus, I'm about to have my next session of mental health counseling" was all she said before running down the hall.________________1 hour later

"Sarai cousin, it's been so long since I've seen you! How's married life treating you?" my cousin Leah asked me as we all sat in the casino bar.

I don't want to put my business out there, especially when it's not all that great at the moment...

So I simply responded and said "it's amazing, Durk is all I could ask for in a man."

"Well that's good, I'm surprised he isn't with you right now."

"He's working...busy man."

"He works this late?" Leslie asked me.

Before I could respond the bartender randomly handed me a drink.

"For you miss" was all he said.

"Ummmm excuse me, I didn't order this?"

"This drink was purchased for you by the gentleman over there ma'am."

"Ummmm who is that Sarai?" Leslie asked

I sat there in silence as I stared back at him and my cousin asked me "do you know him?"

I turned back around and said "oh.....ummmm...no actually, well yes because he's actually going to be an investor for my business....what a weird coincidence that he's even here."

"Really? He's fine..." my cousin said and we all laughed

"and he's married." I responded

"So why would he be buying you a drink?"

"Just a friendly gesture" a deep voice said from behind me and it was Michael.

He extended his hand out to me but I didn't shake it.

He slowly put his hand down but didn't seem offended.

Next I know it he sat at our table and I got really nervous...I'm just not sure what his intentions are.

"What brings you ladies here tonight?" he asked

"Nosey much..." I quickly responded hoping he would leave because deep down I know Durk wouldn't like this.

"Woof, I buy you a drink and get this treatment? I thought our first impression was pretty good Sarai?" Michael said to me with a blank expression

"It was, but I can buy my own drink."

Leslie and Leah were just looking back and forth at us as Michael continued making conversation.

"No Lil Durk with you tonight huh?" he asked out of nowhere

"Ummm it's just Durk" I awkwardly smiled

"Right right, he wasn't there when I came over either."

"WHAT?!" my cousin said loudly

"No, he came over for an investors meeting but it was supposed to be him and his wife. I decided to reschedule when only he showed up." I said seriously as I noticed him staring into my soul out the corner of my eye

"Yeah my wife's been sick at home" Michael responded

"Well then you should be taking care of her." I quickly responded

"I get a sense of...passive aggressive from you Sarai." he chuckled

"No...I— he cut me off before I could finish

"I like it."

"What brings you here, Michael?" I asked even more annoyed now.

"Just gambling some loose change" he responded pulling a bunch of 50 dollar bills out his pocket.

I looked away unimpressed and pushed the drink he bought me back towards him but it spilled all over his lap.

He jumped up as the liquor ran down his pants and now he looks irritated.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Michael."

"Don't worry about it."

"It really wasn't intentional." I said handing him a napkin to clean himself off.

"The least you could do" he said grabbing the napkin from me and patting himself dry

"You just gonna stare or help me?" he laughed as he undid his belt

"What are you doing?" I asked jumping back

"Relax" I'm just taking it off since it got wet

"Oh I thought you were about to—

"Now why would I do that Sarai?" he whispered

"Sir, why don't you just go to the bathroom?" my cousin Leah asked him

"Good idea" I agreed

"I'll be back in a minute" he said walking out the bar and I jumped up.

"Okay, let's get out of here before he comes back."

Durk's POV"You finna smoke bro or what?" Baby asked me as we finished meeting with some producers.

"Nah, I'm probably finna go back home."

"We inviting some people over to my crib, you should come broski."

"I gotta wife and kids to tend to bro. I can't just be out partying and shit."

"and they'll be alright, they got money, butlers, all that shit."

"Yeah but—

"Come on nigga it's gon be fun."

"Yea I guess."

I text Sarai that I'll be back in a few hours before getting ready to head out.________________2 hours later

"You good bro?" Booka asked me as I continued to smoke

"Yeah, why?"

"Yo eyes hella red right now."

"I'm used to it." was all I said before taking 5 more percs

"Seem like you been smoking and popping pills a lot more than normal lately, you good?"

"Just got a lot on my mind........" I responded before taking 2 more percs

"Like what?"

"It's bad."

"How bad?"

"Bad like this shit could ruin everything bad."

"Just tell me bro, I won't say shit."

"If you do I'll kill you—

"Yeah yeah, just say what you got to say."

"Aight so...you know Sarai's brother Bryson, he died."

"Yeah?"

"Sarai was hella depressed over the shit for months..."

"Yeah?!"

"We wasn't talking or even around each other really because she wanted time to be alone."

"Get to the point nigga."

"So basically I..."

"You what?"

"During that time I slipped up..."

"You cheated?"

I shook my head yes and Booka looked shocked.

"Yooooo what the fuck bro???"

"This was like 5,6 months ago ... before we even got married so technically I ain't cheat."

"Y'all was together bro fuck you mean?"

"I mean.......at the time Sarai was making me wait until marriage and I felt like I was about to lose it. I got too high one night and just ... I messed up."

"So Sarai ain't find out, why you even worried about it?"

"It's bigger than just me cheating.........."

"How?"

"The girl pregnant and she saying it's mine."

"NIGGA!!!!" Booka yelled standing up and he looked as stressed as I am

"I know I know" I responded taking 3 more percs

"You take a test yet to see if you the father?"

"Not yet but soon......if I'm not the father I ain't even telling Sarai about this shit."

"Yo you gon break her heart, you basically been lying since before y'all got married—

"Shhhh hold on— I said when I heard laughter from behind me and it was some random girl, probably a groupie.

"Hey Durk." she said sitting across from me.

I nodded my head in her direction and went back to smoking.

"Can I try?" she asked sitting next to me and I handed her the blunt.

"Bro, what the fuck is you doing?" Booka asked me

"Chillin bro, why you keep asking me all these fuckin questions damn?" I yelled

"What about Sa— nevermind." he said before walking away.

"I ain't even doing shit?!" I responded

"Yeah okay bro" Booka said walking out the room leaving just us two here

"You look so tired Durk." she said massaging my shoulders as I almost dozed off again

"Should I wake you up?" she asked grabbing my attention

"I'm good" was all I said but I'm too high to react

She started messing with my belt and laid her head in my lap.

She started unzipping my jeans but I shoved her hands off, I don't have time to be regretting shit else.

"Nice ring." she said making me think about Sarai even more.

"Yeah, my wife has good taste." I responded

"Is she here with you right now?"

"Nah, I'm on my way to her though." I responded getting up

"You're leaving already, the party is just getting started?!" she asked sticking her hand in my pocket

"I got a family to get to." was all I said before finding my keys and leaving Baby's house

Sarai's POVI was glad Michael ended up leaving us alone earlier because he was talking about a whole bunch of nothing.

Plus, I really couldn't get Durk off my mind.

I had fun but not really because I can't stop thinking about him calling me clingy or what he could be doing.

He texted me that he would be home in a couple hours. I didn't respond because I want him to know how it feels to feel ignored.

I finally made it back home and couldn't wait to shower and go to bed.

As I was taking my heels off, I heard footsteps coming towards me and it was of course, Durk...but he looked pretty angry?

"Where you been?" he asked aggressively

"Huh?" I responded nervously...

"You ain't hear me?"

"I uhhh...

Durk almost stumbled backwards and I could tell he was high again, great.

I attempted to just walk around him but he pulled me back by my wrist and didn't let go.

"Durk stop" I whispered but that just made him hold me tighter

"I asked you where the hell you been at Sarai?!"

"I was out Durk—

"Out where?"

"With my friend Leslie and my cousin Leah."

"Why you ain't tell me you was leaving?"

"The same reason you didn't tell me where you were going."

"Don't be a smart ass Sarai." Durk said finally letting my wrist go.

"I'm not—

"Why you all dressed up in this short ass white dress, this ain't how I would expect my wife to be dressed especially without me with her."

"I was just trying to feel good about myself as it's been awhile since I've felt all that great."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Well my husband ignores me majority of the time."

"Here you go being dramatic again."

"So I'm clingy, dramatic, anything else you want to add to the list Durk?"

"Yeah annoying as hell at times."

"Well sorry to bother you then Durk" I said rolling my eyes and walking around him.

"I ain't done talking to you." he said following me into the kitchen.

"What do you want Durk?" I asked annoyed

"To make some shit clear, if you ever leave I need to know exactly where you going and with who."

"So why don't you give me the same respect?"

"I told you what I was doing Sarai, working."

"You always seem to be working Durk!"

"The fuck YOU EXPECT?" he asked even louder

"You know I started to feel bad about just leaving but Von was right." I responded quickly regretting the end of my sentence as Durk looked even angrier now

"The fuck you mean Von was right?" Durk asked mocking me

"I didn't mean, well....when you left I broke down and asked Von where you went............"

"This the shit I be talking about Sarai, you always ready to tell our business to my brothers at that. You did this same shit with Muwop."

"This was different Durk, we were all in the studio and Von saw me crying—plus you left so what was I supposed to do?! You clearly didn't want me to go with you."

"I ain't got time for this shit right now Sarai." Durk said pulling his keys out his pocket and a sticky note fell on the floor.

We both went to pick it up but I was able to grab it first.

My heart dropped when I read what it said.

"Who is Melinda and why did she give you her number Durk?!?!?" I yelled at him

"I don't know who that is" he responded nonchalantly trying to walk around me.

"You're not going anywhere Durk." I said sticking the sticky note to his forehead since he couldn't remember who Melinda is.

He ripped it off and threw it on the ground before grabbing me by both my arms and saying "don't you ever do that shit again Sarai"

"Are you cheating on me Durk, is this why you said you messed up?" I cried

"No, I'd never do some shit like that to you.........after dinner I went to Baby's house with some other people from the label and I think this girl was trying to talk to me or something ....... ion know how she did that shit."

"Really Durk? You just complained about me leaving but you didn't tell me you were going there?!" 

"Okay..........you right, I'm sorry Sarai." Durk said and he looked like he was on the verge of tears for the first time I've ever seen

I wiped his eyes before saying "Durk just talk to me...you clearly are high out of your mind and something is on your mind."

"It's nothing Sarai."

"Nothing.........wow, just imagine if I had some random guys number in my pocket. How would you feel Durk, HOW?"

"I know, but I promise Sarai it was just a groupie trying to get to me but I'm yours. I'm not cheating on you baby."

"Whatever you say Durk..." I cried walking around him but he snatched me back again and bent me over the kitchen counter

He started to lift up my dress as I mumbled not again...

I sat up and he held me back down by my neck as he unzipped his pants"Durk I am NOT in the mood."

"I need it Sarai..." he mumbled trying to enter into me but I'm not going through this again 

I shoved him off as hard as possible and he stumbled back into the fridge

"Why don't you ask Melinda to bend over for you Durk." I said as I grabbed my keys now

"Where are you going Sarai?" Durk said following me all throughout the house as I got ready to pack some of my things

I'm just going to and stay in the apartment I'm renting to clear my mind tonight.

"Sarai answer me" Durk said stepping into the elevator with me

I continued to ignore him as he kept trying to kiss me

"You smell like lean..." was all I said in disgust before walking into our room

I grabbed a bag and Durk immediately ripped it out my hands"DURK STOP" I yelled

"Just don't leave" he said grabbing me by my waist and kissing my neck

"Please..." he whispered in my ear and I felt like I didn't know what to do

"Just let me go Durk........"

"I will if you say you ain't walking out that door."

"No promises"

"Then I'm not letting you go" he whispered in my ear as he held me tighter

As we stood here in silence his phone started ringing.

He let it ring for minutes and ignored it which I found odd because he's always ready to answer his phone.

His phone started ringing again so I moved out of his grip and said "who is that?"

He pulled his phone out and said "it's Booka"

"Well you should answer it, it could be important."

"I'm focused on you right now" Durk said as he declined the call

Seconds later Booka started calling him a third time.

Durk finally answered it and started walking away from me as he quickly said hello but I followed him.

Durk told him he made it home and quickly got off the phone with him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked

"Yeah"

"Booka was with you?"

"Yeah he was there."

"Oh okay......" I responded as I sat down on the edge of our bed and Durk sat right next to me

"Imma slow down on the drugs baby" Durk said to me and I slightly smiled

"I'd appreciate that..." I responded

"You mad at me?" he asked

"Well..............I just want you to promise me something..."

"Anything."

"Well, two things."

"What?"

"One, you really don't know who Melinda is."

"I don't, you know living this life...the fame, money, groupies always tryna get to me and do weird shit."

"Then you need to stop going to parties or anything else that is not performing. From now on I'm going with you to all your tour shows."

"Deal, what's the second promise?"

"Promise me that you've never cheated on me and that you never will?"

Durk gave me a weird expression before saying "yeah"

"Yeah?"

"Mhm"

"Yeah what?"

"Never have and would never want to cheat on you."

"Okay good." I smiled hugging him back now

"It's just the drugs that's been getting to me lately so I'm going to stop for you, for us."

"That makes more sense now."

"You wanna go in the movie room or something? Start the end of our night over...I got an early flight tomorrow for my show in Texas...you coming with me now?" Durk asked

"Of course.......I'll be ready." I smiled as he picked me up and carried me back to the elevator.

TO BE CONTINUED...