Starstruck

Sarai's POVI've been home for about two hours now and can't stop crying my eyes out.  I stopped and had my driver go to Starbucks but I couldn't even drink it I feel so depressed. ☹️

I could hardly walk down the stairs to let Herb in who has been here with me for the past 30 minutes. All I've done is cry while laying my head in his lap. Every time a tear falls down my face he wipes it and continues to massage my shoulders.

I do feel at peace being around Herb...I can't lie the old feelings come back. But I still don't know what his true intentions are. My gut instinct is telling me something deeper is going on here but I'm probably overthinking and overwhelmed.

But I can't blame myself because I did think I could trust Von and was proven wrong. I thought Durk ————— it doesn't even matter. I don't even know why I'm still thinking about either one of them.

Durk did try to have my back and all after his rudeness towards me previously. But I simply just can't let it go...not without more of an explanation. Why does he keep making me feel like he cares and hates me at the same time.

Herb snapped me out of my train of thought saying out of nowhere "You remember when we used to just vibe like this?......"

"Not really..." I quickly responded...I don't need anything going to his head right now until I'm more sure of him.

"Aaahhhhhhhh I think you do Rai Rai" he yelled squeezing the life out of my cheeks. I stared up at him after and he attempted to lean down and kiss me but I dodged it.

"Ewwwww" I grimaced covering my face peeking one eye out to see his reaction and he looked like 😤...still handsome though. 🤷🏽‍♀️

"Fuck wrong witchu?" he continued to yell

"I don't just give out my kisses to any guy now...plus I never liked that nickname Rai Rai."

"What should I nickname you then beautiful?"

"Cut it out Herb." 😐

"I'm for real, shit you know I like that nickname you gave me..."

"and what nickname is that?"

"You used to call me Daddy Herb"

"Ummm...I've never called you daddy Herbert...........I know you wish I did though."

"You just did...didn't you?" 🤔

"Ughhh you get on my nerves" I laughed 🥲 pushing him off of me but he pulled me closer and started squeezing the life out of me in his arms. 💪🏽

He leaned down and connected his lips to mine but I didn't allow that to continue very long.

"Look" I jumped causing him to jump as well and let me go "I didn't invite you over here for this...I don't like how I'm feeling........"

He looked satisfied but definitely won't be getting further satisfaction from me tonight.

"How are you feeling, I thought we was chilling like old times? Yo lil ass need to lighten up, smoke or something.........."

"I didn't finally allow you to see me for you to just make sexual advances Herb. Do not sit there and act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Why can't a guy and a girl ever just have a decent friendship first? You haven't even asked me about what happened to me or my parents or anything—

"Aye aye aye okay, how can I be a better friend to you first Rai? I ain't ask you all that because you been crying nonstop so why would I bring up something else to make you cry? I hate seeing you cry and you know that. A nigga been worried about you for the longest. I'd think you would see that by how many times I've reached out to you and been ignored."

"Okay then show me that Herb, make me feel it. It takes more than a few texts asking to link."

"Feel it?" he asked sitting up excited for some odd reason?

"Yes feel that you actually care about me and not this ocean between my legs."

"Now you playin wit me. Ain't you a virgin anyway whatchu know about a damn ocean in between your legs? Or did things change..."

He looked like he was nervous to hear my response to that question but I don't know why it'll be the response he wants to hear. Nor is it really his business so I'll quickly change that subject.

"I'm still waiting for my husband...but anyways, tell me something interesting or new that has happened in your life? That would be a great start..."

"I mean...I actually been rapping a lil bit believe it or not."

"So you rap now too?" Interesting and convenient I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes laying back down on the couch in the opposite direction.

"What? Got too many rappers in yo life or somethin now?! Am I not the right kind of rapper for you?"

"You're trying it..."

"Nah I guess if I ain't Lil Durk or King Von I don't make the cut."

"Why the comparison?"

"I see you been with Von."

"I rather not speak on him..."

"Why? I saw you on the gram fighting tonight too, why you ain't bring it up yet? You got a bruise on yo cheek and everything—

"Stop..." I teared up again

"Tell me what happened? Don't cry again Rai I'm here ain't I? I always come when you call."

"I — I — I was humiliated..."

"Why? He hit you? I'll kill—

"No his I guess girlfriend, Asian Doll who he claimed to be broken up with approached me with his sister and attacked me for trying to get with Von when he is the one who came onto me."

"So they hatin?"

"Exactly."

"You beat they ass then I'm guessing, I know you be on that crazy karate shit since you was young."

"You guessed right..." I winked at him and he winked back at me

Ughhhhhghhsrrtff 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

"But to make matters worse, he approached me and threatened me for fighting her. He claims he only went out on dates with me, bought me all these nice things just for publicity."

"Mmmm seem like some weak ass shit to me...he'll regret it later fasho. If he make anymore threats or do anything to you let me know because I'm there. You beautiful inside and out Sarai...any man would be lucky to have you."

"Ummmm thanks?" seems like he is really trying to butter me up for some reason "Bryson was there to, I'm not worried about his threats they are empty anyways. I thought he was a nice guy like Durk but—

"Durk? Why you look like that when you said his name?"

"Like what?"

"You seemed happier?"

"Haha what?!? I think when I talk about any guy to you...you overthink it?"

"Ion like that nigga Durk so we can just cut that conversation short."

"Why?"

"He's a stupid ass nigga."

"Funny..............................oddly enough he said the same thing about you..."

"So you been talking about me to him or what?"

"What?!? Oh no...I was just joking with you..." I smiled but I know he knows I'm lying because he knows me very well..........

"Well whether you joking or not, he don't want a problem with me."

"Herb you're not scaring anyone..."

"I bet I can scare yo ass" he said with an evil grin 😈 and I don't even want to know what he means by that.

"You know I worked for and lived with Durk for awhile..." I said happily reminiscing

"For real? How that happen?"

"I sort of wanted to tell all of you at the same time...long story"

"You wanna call the squad over here?"

"You can.........." I said staring at the ceiling because I don't think I want Tamia to come...

"It's cool if Tamia come?"

It's almost as if he read my mind by the look on his face.

I was about to say no but decided against it because I want to see how Herb and Tamia interact...is he lying to me?

"That's fine"

I jumped up when I heard Olai running down the steps singing one of Durk's songs for some odd reason.

"you ain't did shit for the streets so how you gon put a word in..."

"OLAI STOP CURSING!" Why is she singing his music anyway...

"Don't tell me what to — oh HEYYYYYYY HERB!!!" Her mood completely changed now and she jumped right into his lap.

They had their little moment but she's doing too much for my liking now, it's giving embarrassing.

"Olai can you go anywhere but in my space...maybe the dumpster outside. If not I'll have to call pest control to come and get you."

"Y'all still don't get along huh?" Herb laughed letting her go

"I'm surprised you ever liked her...she's so annoying and whiny like a big ass cry baby!" Olai yelled flipping me off and running back towards the kitchen

"Damn...and I thought you had a bad ass attitude. She gon have you beat for sure." Herb said once she was gone

"Tell me about it..."_____________________One hour later...

"Rai wake up they here..."

"Mmm mmm.........."

"WAKE UP!"

I jumped up when I felt Herb slap my ass extremely hard.

"Have you lost your mind?!"

"Shut up, you like it..."

"Boy you—

"SARAI!!!!!!!!!!" I heard from behind me

"Leslie!!!!!!!"

"You're alive!"

"Barely, hey Cadence"

"Hey girly ... look at you livin large!"

"I know ... she sure is, where's Mr. NLE Choppa?" Vanessa added in

I noticed Tamia just stood back examining the home, hmm...jealously at its worst.

"Do you all want anything to drink?" I offered

"I'm good" Tamia quickly responded giving Herb a noticeable side eye...interesting.

"We are good, we all just ate actually...we were surprised to get that text from Herb to come over to such a fancy neighborhood and finally see you guys" Vanessa responded

"Yeah how much does this place cost a month?" Tamia rudely asked

"Oh we aren't paying rent, Bryson paid in full...millions."

There was somewhat of an awkward silence now until I continued to say "you all can follow me into the first living room"

"Wow..." they all said in unison looking around

"So where have you been? What happened? Bryson is literally I mean...NLE Choppa now?!?" Vanessa asked as we all sat around

"You all wouldn't believe it..."

"I think we can believe it...I mean look at where we are" Leslie responded

"True" I laughed and they all just stared at me to continue "well...if you don't all already know my parents died in a train crash......."

"Oh my gosh Sarai I'm so sorry" Cadence said

"It's fine...well it's not fine but...I don't want to get into that. After that experience our house went into foreclosure. Bryce and I obviously had no way of paying the rent or our phone bills. We had no way of getting in contact with friends or family and ultimately ended up being homeless. One day when we were living outside a pizza shop Lil Durk and his son found us when his son heard us in the bushes."

"What really???" Vanessa asked

"Let her finish" Cadence interrupted

"Yes so he insisted on helping us...moved us in and paid us to basically be his maid and butler."

"So that's how you ended up meeting Von? I saw pics of you two together." Tamia nastily said

"Ummm...yes that's how." I responded annoyed because I really don't want to think about Von and she keeps asking questions that are out of place.

"Are you and Durk close?" Leslie asked

I paused and thought about that before saying "No."

"Well I just asked because I assume that's how Bryce got his foot in the door rapping..."

"It is" I responded noticing Herb and Tamia constantly side eyeing each other "is there something going on that I'm unaware of?"

"I'm just wondering why my boyfriend meeting up with you when he was just supposed to be coming over to ask for a connect to start rapping?" Tamia responded

"Hold on hold on hold on" I said about to lose my cool for a second time tonight.

So for the second time I've been fooled into thinking someone really wants to be there for me when they are ultimately just using me.

"Are you serious Herb?! I trusted you!" I exclaimed

"Sarai—

"No don't try to say any further bullshit to me. While you're all starstruck and shit...you know what JUST GET OUT!"

"Sarai—

"I don't want to hear it Herb. You know funny thing is I probably would've tried to help you at some point. You are such a jerk........you and Tamia deserve each other, you're just my sloppy seconds anyway."

"Oh do not try it Sarai" Tamia clapped back as if she was going to fight me in my own house

"Or what? Did you not hear me the first time? Get out the palace!"

"Gladly, come on Herb" Tamia jumped up pulling him in her direction but he still tried to walk over to me.

Wrong move because I was ready to slice him in his neck. I picked up a vase off the table and swung it towards him.

"Aight we'll just go, just let me explain to you later Rai."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT SHIT AND JUST GET OUT!!! ALL FIVE OF YOU CAN GO I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"

"Oh now she wanna speak up and yell, any other time nobody can hear her ass" Tamia said on her way out

Herb knew better than to bring his green bean length ass back over here and try to talk to me.

Leslie, Vanessa and Cadence all stood there and unfortunately they have to get out.

"Let me know once you guys have found the door so I can lock it..." I said before drifting up the stairs

Bryson POV"Aye — what the fuck goin on? I haven't seen y'all in a minute."

"Hey Bryce"

"Wassup Leslie"

"Sarai was just kicking us out even though the three of us didn't do anything."

"Ahhh shit, somethin popped off again?"

"Yeah with Herb and Tamia but...I'll let Sarai tell you. She's really upset and wants to be left alone right now."

"Aight well hit me up later then, I ain't forget about y'all"

"I mean...you're Mr. Walk Em Down now though."

"I'm still the same nigga."

"You know I always liked you Bryce."

"I know, maybe you can come hang out with me in the studio soon."

"Bet."

"Aight just ask Sarai for my number, I'll talk to y'all later imma go see what's going on with her."

Finally got them slimey handed bitches out of my house so I can go find my baby sister.

I couldn't even perform well tonight after that tragic shit that happened.

"Aye Sarai...you in here?" I tried to open up her door but it was locked. I could hear her crying her eyes out though.

"Sarai unlock this damn door right fuckin now, I'm not playing with you."

"GO AWAY BRYSON!!!"

"You gon really let Von and Durk assess get you down like this?!"

"Durk didn't do anything..."

"Sarai ion know if you realize this but Durk is the bad guy too. It's like you keep giving that nigga a pass for some odd ass reason."

"Bryce do you hear what you're saying right now?! You're where you are today because of me having Durk help you become NLE Choppa...we could still be sharing a can of beans on the street right now........."

"I know Sarai I ain't sayin he ain't help us out big time. I'm just saying the only nigga you can really trust is me now that dad gone. We will always have each other's back, you know I'm never letting you fall."

Sarai's POVI didn't respond to Bryson and just let his words sink in. I quickly turned over when I heard my door open. He must've grabbed a knife to open it. Next I smelled blunt smoke in the air of my room.

"BRYSON QUIT WITH THE DRUGS! ARE YOU REALLY SMOKING RIGHT NEXT TO ME IN MY SPACE WHEN YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF THAT STUFF?"

"I was actually lighting this up for you, you seem stressed."

"I don't need weed to distress, I just need..............."

His eyes got really big before he said "need what?"

"Him..............." I broke down crying again and Bryson stood up.

He crawled over me in the bed and tried to stick the blunt in my mouth.

"Come on Sarai just try it, you need it...one puff..."

His voice sounded like he wasn't even here right now and his eyes were bright red. See this is why I will never do drugs. Like how is my brother of allpeople really peer pressuring me right now............

I shoved him off of me and he fell off the bed like a high idiot.

"Who is this him you need anyway? I'm the only nigga you need in your life."

"No you definitely are not................it doesn't matter who it is."

Bryce popped his head up from the ground and said "I know who it is. If you like the nigga that much why don't you just tell him? It's obvious he like you too the way his ass always wanna pop up and be Captain Save-A-Hoe......."

"He couldn't be that because then I'd have to be a hoe."

"Yo ignorant ass know what the fuck I mean."

"For some reason I just feel connected to him. Really from the first day we met I just felt peace of mind in his presence...I remember he accidentally touched my hand in the car and my stomach did backflips—

Bryson started making very loud vomit noises nonstop before saying "you still talking to your brother not yo little friends, is that really how females fuckin think?"

"I don't know, maybe men should stop being so heartless all the time..."

"Or females should stop being so damn sensitive all the time, just look at you crying again!"

I pulled my head and body back under my blankets and began to sob again.

"I don't know why I feel like this about him, it's a feeling I just don't understand. You don't know this but earlier in his dressing room he said awful things to me........didn't even want me around. But for some reason he still tried to help me...I mean he hasn't even reached out to see if I'm okay after that huge incident!!!"

"Well ion know why you wanna talk to a nigga that's being an ass towards you anyway...but did you try texting him first?"

"Tuh. No. Why the hell would I do that Bryson?"

"You said you ain't hear from him yet."

"Yes and it's not my responsibility to text him first. If he really cared he would text me."

Bryson rubbed his hands on his face aggressively and let out an extremely loud groan.

"Sarai. Niggas don't give a fuck about who text who first. If you wanna talk to him that bad just text him."

"I'm not doing that Bryce and I honestly want to be left alone. I don't want to talk to you, Olai or anyone else for that matter.........."

"You ain't even tell me what happened with Herb and Tamia why you kick all yo little friends out?"

"I'm not getting into the story but basically after the incident at the concert tonight I told Herb he could come over, he's been begging to see me. I'm sitting here thinking he really wants to spend time with me but all along he was just here to get a connect for rapping. Him and Tamia are still dating and she knew what he was trying to do the entire time, makes me sick."

"Fuck em then Sarai, you don't need fake ass people in yo life no way. Since when did you care so much about having a boyfriend? I thought you was waiting for husband material."

"I am Bryce—

"How bout this?"

"What?"

"Imma set you up on a blind date, you gon like this nigga trust me. He's been telling me he like you and shit but ........ I see how important this is to you now so imma hook you up."

"My brothers friend? Please no..."

"He famous"

"Still no"

"Imma give him yo number and you tell me how you feel after..."

"Can I just sleep now...alone..."

"I can let you do that..." I watched him slowly walk out the room before he finally said "love you goodnight"

I didn't respond but Bryson knows I love him too.

With the way I'm feeling I won't be leaving my room for awhile. I feel completely depressed and want to give up on life.

I was about to turn my lights back off until I heard my phone buzz.

I picked it up off my nightstand and had a text from who I least expected tonight.

📱"Aye Sarai...it's Durk if you don't have my number saved? Just wanted to say I ain't stop thinkin about you during my performance and sorry bout how I was actin earlier. I didn't mean any of that shit I said to you. Don't worry I told Von how much of a bitch ass nigga he was for that. I been really goin through some shit ... we probably could really use each other right now, I can't seem to ever get you off my mind...since day one I just feel like I gotta make sure you good. I wish y'all still lived here so I knew you was safe. Can I send a car for you to come here tonight or can I come spend time with you? Just let me know I don't have any work to do tomorrow."

I couldn't help but smile and ultimately I decided to ignore his text and put my phone back on the charger. He probably doesn't mean all of what he said anyway...he'll just end up hurting me._____________________A/N: I know there wasn't much Sarai and Durk in this chapter...it's coming!