Surprise

I present to you: the worst fanfiction you will ever read. I wrote this because I was bored in class and I figured this was the perfect place to dump it. Basically, if you do anything I do in the next 1700 words, you should probably reevaluate your choices thus far.

Note: if you notice a mistake, an inconsistency, or something just fucking stupid, don't point it out because it was probably intentional and you'll just look dumb trying to correct me.

Enjoy!

Tony's POV

I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock screeching in my ear. Ugh, school.

"Tony, wake up!" yells my mom. "I have breakfast for you, mijo!" Ew, breakfast. I don't like eating. I'm fat.

I put on some black skinny jeans, some Vans, an Of Mice & Men t-shirt, a Bring Me the Horizon jacket, and an All Time Low beanie. I pet my jedi braid lovingly. I love Star Wars. It's my favorite movie.

I take a shower, looking scaredly at the blade—oh, no, it is not my friend—and then run out the door before my mom can make me eat food.

Good, fatty, says the voice in my head.

Shut up, voice, I think, a tear rolling down my cheek. God, I wish I wasn't so f*cked up. My dad abused me my whole life and then he died when I was six. My mom drinks too much alcohol because she misses him and the way he would punch me in the gay stomach for no reason. Plus, I cut myself because the only real way to cure pain is to add a little more, because everything new distracts the old. I also never eat and when I do I cry and throw up. I'm a hundred pounds. So fat. My favorite thing to do is smoke tons of weed in my room and never get caught even though my mom is loving and even a little overbearing. I OD'd one time. It was awesome because I thought I was going to die. Sigh, I deserve to die :(

I get to school and Oli Sykes pushes me into a locker.

"Hey, fag," he chortles. I whimper and look away. Oli's secret boyfriend Josh Franceschi comes up and pushes me onto my knees.

"Suck my fat cock, you disgusting little homo," he commands. Fed up, I scream, "Your dad was great in bed last night!" The hallway goes quiet. Everyone is looking at me. I start crying hysterically whilst simultaneously running into the bathroom, shoving two fingers down my throat, and pulling out my blade.

I'm on the floor, not in the stall because I don't realize that privacy is a thing, about to slit my wrists once and for all when I hear an angelic voice.

"Lmao, don't do that."

Oh my god, he sounds so perfect. The mystery guy leans down and plucks the blade out of my hands.

"Give that back," I sob desperately. "I need that. I'm going to kill myself because I'm an ugly, stupid, fat, worthless cunt. Nobody loves me and nobody ever will."

"That's not true," he smirks. "Life is precious, just like you."

His words surprise me. I never thought someone would say that to me. I mean, even my best friend, Jaime, doesn't really tell me I'm beautiful or anything. He's so mean.

"Why are you saying this to me?" I sniff, frowning up at the boy who I still can't see because obviously crying makes you blind.

"Because," he coos. "My brother, Vic, self-harms and it's so painful to watch him go through that. He's popular and he gets all the girls. He's not gay, but he secretly has a crush on Kellin Quinn, the quarterback."

"Oh," I say. The only boy at this school named Vic is the brother of the school badass, Mike Fuentes. But I wonder who this perfect angel is?

"What's your name?" I ask. He shows me a collection of pearly whites.

"Mike. Mike Fuentes. And if you tell anyone I helped you, I'll tell the football team to beat you up."

Oh, sh*t.

Mike's POV

Sigh, my girlfriend, Alysha, is getting annoying. I never really liked her anyway. I just think she has a hot bod. I've never had feelings for a girl before. I mean, I'm not gay, I just haven't found the right girl yet. Duh.

That boy I helped in the bathroom earlier today was so cute. I mean, what?! I'm not gay! I meant cool. He was so cool. Like, he was kind of a loser but he had quality tattoos all up and down his arms and neck. I bet he actually does his homework and has perfect grades even though he hates himself and wants to die. Like, obviously it would make sense to put your best effort into school when you don't think you'll live into next week. Colleges watch out for that shizz xD

"Babe," moans Alysha. "F*ck me. F*ck me so hard I can't walk. I'm so wet for you, baby. Please."

"Shut up, Alysha. I'm thinking about someone."

"Mikey," she pouts. "I've been ramming this dildo up my p*ssy all day and I can't come. I need you to help me come. You're the only one who's ever done it."

"Goddamn, Lysh. I don't want to fr*ck you right now. I'm gonna go eat a snack."

She starts crying and f*cking herself harder while I leave the room. Geez, will she ever shut up? Just because I told her to get herself nice and wet for me because I was going to f*ck her so hard she couldn't walk and come inside the trembling warmth of her pussy doesn't mean that I was going to have sex with her. Seriously, she's so clueless sometimes.

~ Time lapse, one week ~

"Good morning, mijo," says my mom from downstairs. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Nothing, ma! Damn!" I exclaim. She starts crying and pours herself a tall glass of tequila. Guess she'll be getting her drank on a few hours early today.

I leave my room, walking into the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror. My reflection screams, Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. Loser. Emo. Gay. Brown hair. I wipe a tear away from my eye and step into the shower. I can't help but swipe the blade across my ribcage a couple of times until the shower floor is stained red and both my head and the water swirling into the drain are spinning. I step out of the shower and make one more tiny cut on my wrist. Oops, wouldn't want that to get infected. I pour some peroxide on it and carefully put on a band-aid.

On my way to school, Oli Sykes tackles me and punches me eight times in the nose. I guess I'll just have to cover it up with makeup. When I get to school, Austin Carlile, the quarterback, smiles apologetically and spits in my eye. He's so hot. Wait, what!? He's my best friend! I shouldn't be having thoughts like that!

Oh, wait, Austin isn't my best friend. I've never even spoken to Austin. Jaime is. Jaime's so hot. Wait, what?! Bad, Tony! He's your best friend! You can't be having thoughts like that!

"Hey, Tone Bone," beams Jaime (speaking of the devil himself), jumping on my back and kissing my cheek. I blush profusely and shrug him off.

"Hi, Hime Time. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. About to go to math."

"Ew."

"I know, right?" he sighs. Sigh, he's so cute when he does that. But I also think I'm in love with Mike Fuentes. I mean, he said I was precious or some sh*t. Obviously, you're supposed to fall for someone just because they're cute and they're nice to you.

Suddenly, there's a huge slam next to me on the lockers. Oh dear, Mike Fuentes is fucking his girlfriend in school, right next to me. I start crying and run into the bathroom.

Mike's POV

Huh? Why did Tony start crying? I shove Alysha off of me, put my cock back into my pants, and walk into the bathroom. I find him on the floor once again, pulling a razor out of his backpack.

"No!" I yell, snatching it out of his hands. He sobs and flips me off. I flush the razor down the urinal.

"Tony, please don't hurt yourself," I cry. "I can't watch you do that. I...I love you."

Tony's POV

HUH?!?!? MIKE LOVES ME?!?!?

"Huh?" I exclaim. He looks wide-eyed and blushes, but then swallows.

"Yeah, look...ever since I saw you in here a week ago, I can't stop thinking about you. The way you're not confident, the way you're so angsty and shy, the way you love turtles...I want all of it. I love you so much, turtle."

My heart swells. "Mike, I...I love you too!"

He beams and kisses me, then pushes inside me. I cry because it hurts really bad to have a dick in your butt. But it also feels good. He pushes in a few more times and then we both come at the exact same time.

"Tony, baby," he whispers, grabbing my face. "I love you so much and I'm going to marry you some day."

"I love you too, Mikey."

Then, everything went black.

Mike's POV

WHAT THE F*CK? A piano just fell from the sky and hit Tony on the head! OMG, I have to call 911!

~ At the hospital ~

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask the doctor, tears staining my vision. The doctor sighs.

"I have some bad news, son. Tony is in a coma."

"No!" I scream. "But I love him! We were going to get married!"

The doctor puts a hand on my shoulder and sighs. "Calm down, son."

"Please, is...is he ever going to wake up?"

He sighs. "We don't know."

"Oh my god," I whimper.

He sighs. "I'm very sorry. We're doing everything we can."

"Tony...."

He sighs. "You can go visit him now."

"Thank you!"

I scramble into Tony's room and see him laying on the hospital bed. It kills me. Even with his head smashed in from the piano like that, he still looks so beautiful.

I grab his hand. "Turtle, I miss you so much. You are the light of my life, the apple of my eye, and everything in between. Ever since the moment I saw you, I knew I would be in love with you forever. You are absolutely, stunningly, gorgeous. And you really like turtles and Star Wars, which is cute. Please wake up soon."

I kiss his hand, and his eyes flutter open.

"M...Mike?"

I gasp. "Tony! You're awake!" I kiss him hard on the lips and he moans.

"Mikey, I heard everything you said. I love you too, you stupid giraffe."

"Tony, will you...will you marry me?"

"Yes!" he shrieks, grinning with delight. I smile and hug him so tightly he's probably about to pop out of his skull. It looks like everything is going to be alright.

So, with one last blurry smile, kissing the scars on his skin, I whisper, "Darling, you'll be okay."