16

Arabella's POV

(Double updattteeeeee)

1 week later

The doorbell rings.

I walk downstairs and open the door and see Ethan.

He is pacing around and when I opened the door he had stopped to look at me.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he rushed towards me and kissed me.

DAMNIT.

I AM SUPPOSED TO BE MAD AT HIM AND NOW I AM KISSING HIM BACK?

I push him off of me.

"I don't want this Ethan" I said starting to close the door but he had stopped it.

"Please Arabella. I want you." He said 

"Ethan. I don't know why you would want me. I am fat. ugly. annoying. loud. and there are so many girls that would love to be with you. So why are you after me?" I asked him, really not wanting to get pulled into his trap again but I knew, once he answered, I would give in. 

Ethan Dolan has a way with words.

He reels you in and then crushes your heart.

"Because .. I love it.. I know I keep on hurting you and I don't know why I do it. I don't want to . I just know you don't actually feel the same. And your not fat. and your definitely not ugly. You're the most beautiful people I have ever met. And your beautiful on the inside and the out. No other girl will ever amount to you." He says to me grabbing my hands and I feel myself falling deeper.

But I don't show it.

I roll my eyes.

"You don't get it Ethan. You think it is okay to just get me all hopeful and into you again and then you just go fuck around with other girls." I said.

"But we were never official." He said.

"Do you think I care? You liked me and I said I liked you, and then went and fucked a guy I barely knew. How would you feel? How would you feel If I were fucking other people?" I asked him.

"But your not because you don't want that stuff" He said 

"But what if I was. What if I was with another guy?" I asked him.

"Then.. I would be pissed.." He trailed off .

"So how do you think I feel when you walk in making out with some girl, In front of me, after you telling me all that bull shit?" I asked him.

"It wasn't bull shit Bella. It was the truth. And I just get.. like.. UGHH you wouldn't get it" He said 

"Try me." I said.

"I get self conscious around you. I feel like you would rather be with Grayson half the time and that you don't like me and never will like me because I am always hurting you and so I get mad and then drink a little and then find a girl..."He said.

"I would rather be with Grayson" I said straight up and I watched as his eyes saddened.

"But I fucking can't because I love you. I don't love him. You hurt me. And hurt me. And hurt me. And yet I still love you. Instead of falling for the Dolan who doesn't hurt me and who actually cares for me. and who treats me with respect and who is not always getting all pissed at me. I fell for you, And then hit the fucking cement ground. Hard." I said 

"I don't want to hurt you" He said, I could hear the sadness in his voice and it kind of broke my heart ..

"Can't you just give me another chance?" He asked me just barely glancing up at me.

"I'll make you a deal" I said smirking.

"What?" He asked looking up at me hopefully

"I will give you another chance. If you take me on a date right now to go get food." I said and he smiled a little and nodded.

"And I don't want no 'We were not official' Bull shit when you fuck up again because that is not an excuse" I said and he nodded.

"Deal" He said smiling.

I pull him inside.

"I need to go change" I said and he nodded sitting on the couch.

I walk upstairs and put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey shirt.

I slide on black vans and then fix my bun before grabbing my phone and keys so I can lock the house, and then walking downstairs.

Ethan is still sitting on the couch and when he sees me he stands up.

"Where too?"He asked as we walked out and I locked the house,

"Ihop" I replied and he nodded.

We get into his car and he drives us to Ihop.

The traffic slowing us down like always.

Guys. I am sorry. You don't have to read this. I just need to rant. I am literally moving in less than.. 5 days okay . and my three best friends.. Are all off hanging out with their other friends. Them being the only ones who fucking know I am moving because I thought they would be the ones who would care you know. But nope. I guess I was wrong. I always make the wrong fucking friends and it is annoying because I have been friends with them for like 5 years okay. and They always do this shit to me.

They are all like "I don't have any friends but you. your my only true friend" But IF I AM YOUR ONLY TRUE FUCKING FRIEND DON'T YOU THINK YOU WOULD WANT TO. i don't know.. HANG OUT WITH ME BEFORE I MOVE 5 FUCKING HOURS AWAY FROM YOU???

Literally cried over how much I am going to miss these people and they are over here ditching me, not thinking twice about it.

Like whats the use in even calling someone your best friend it your not going to be there for them.

Because I am always the one there for everybody. Always. Everyone comes to me for advice and when they are upset and stuff and I always have no one to go to. 

Sorry for wasting your time if you read this. you didn't have to. I just wanted to get this out of my system.