twenty-two

the private training went on as usual for an extra hour. By the time levi had finished beating you over and over and giving you 'words of encouragement', you were laying on the floor with your arms and legs sprawled out, your chest heaving up and down and staring up at the sky. fuck, you were tired. levi was standing with his arms crossed a bit further away, staring.

Levi's gaze lingered on you for a moment, before he turned away, his eyes scanning the room as if searching for something. "Get up," he repeated, his voice firm but not unkind. He walked over to a nearby bench and picked up a towel, tossing it in your direction.

You let out a small groan as the towel landed on your face. You weakly lifted your arm up and grabbed it, pulling it off and stood up. You used the towel to dry your face from sweat and tried to get the dirt off yourself.

Levi watched you with a critical eye, his expression softening ever so slightly as he saw the toll the training had taken on you.

He nodded to himself, seemingly satisfied that you were still standing. "You're improving," he said, his voice a little gruff, but not entirely harsh. "But you still have a long way to go." He turned to leave, then paused, his back to you. "Clean up and meet me in the mess hall. I'll make you tea."

You stared at him dumbfounded. Did he really just say he would make you tea?

As you walked away, Levi's eyes lingered on you for a moment, his expression unreadable. He turned and left the training room, disappearing into the corridors of the barracks. The sound of his footsteps echoed down the hallway, growing fainter with each passing moment.

You let out a small sigh out of your nose, pressing your lips together as you walked to the rooms to clean yourself up. Levi..

Always on your damn mind. It was annoyingly clear, Jean was fucking right.. you liked him. And not just for sexual reasons. The thought of levi being sweet to you made your heart flutter.

The thought of him sitting and making you tea made your cheeks flush..just... the thought of him.

It was always the thought of him, any time. Even in your god damn sleep you couldnt escape the fucker.

You knew he wasnt a relationship type, he was closed off, grumpy, harsh- ..potentially married? The conversation came back into your head as you changed into clean clothes..the gossip about levi having a wife, or had.

Did he? There was no way right? Levi with a wife seemed unbelievable.. although he was oddly caring when he wanted to be, even if he didnt show it very well

Like when you injured your foot. He hides it with his sarcastic words and cold tone but his actions speak truth.. he is oddly sweet. Fuck, you hated how easily he took over your thoughts.

A small sigh left your lips as you headed down to the messhall once you were in clean clothes and your hair tied away from your face.

You werent one to keep your thoughts to yourself.. you normally just say what you think and deal with the consequences... but that was evidentially clear considering the situation with levi.

Say what you want and think about it later. Probably not the best way to deal with things but its never really went that wrong for you before..

Would this time be different? It seemed like a terrible idea. Tell levi you liked him? Tell him you wanted more than just fun sex? He would probably throw tea in your face and tell you to stop being fucking stupid.

I doubt that would make you regret saying it though, i guess you could say that was a good attribute.. youve never regretted speaking your mind before. Maybe it was luck. Who knows.

You opened the doors to the mess hall, letting them close behind you as you headed over to levi as your thoughts muddled together into a tornado of do it or dont do it.

Levi looked up as you approached, his eyes flicking to your face before returning to the cup of tea in front of him. He took a sip, his expression calm and composed, before setting the cup down.

You cleared your throat quietly as you took a seat opposite him, silently flapping your thoughts away as you stared slightly.

"Tea?" he asked, his voice neutral, as he pushed a second cup across the table towards you.

Your lips pressed together slightly, nodding your head and let him pour you a cup. Your hand gently grabbed the small handle and brought it to your lips, letting the side rest on your bottom lip to take a sip.

His eyes watched you for a moment, his gaze lingering on your hands as you took hold of the cup. He seemed to be studying you, his expression unreadable.

After a moment, he looked away, his eyes scanning the mess hall as if searching for something. The silence between you two was comfortable, but slightly tense, like the calm before a storm.

You took a small sip of the tea, keeping your eyes on levi.. he really was fucking majestic.. his side profile looked so chiseled.. like someone had hand crafted him. You let out a small hum, glancing back down to your cup as your finger lightly trailed along the rim of the small teacup.

Levi's eyes flicked back to you, his gaze meeting yours for a brief moment. He seemed to catch the direction of your gaze, and his expression remained neutral.

He looked away, his eyes returning to the cup in front of him, but his voice was slightly softer when he spoke. "Good?"

You nodded your head, a hint of a small smile on your face as you did, before pressing your lips together and glanced back up at him.

Don't do it.

Fuck.. fuck fuck fuck. He looked so perfect. You wanted him to know. It doesnt matter the outcome. You dont care. He can say no for all you care.

You had to tell him.. you wanted more than sex. You wanted him to want to hold you after.

"..i want more"

Levi's eyes met yours again, and for a moment, you just stared at each other. The air between you both seemed to vibrate with tension. Levi's expression was unreadable, but his eyes seemed to flash with a hint of surprise, and then, a flicker of amusement.

He raised an eyebrow, his voice low and smooth. "More.. tea?"

You shook your head a little. You were hesitating.. fuck this was a bad idea. You shouldnt tell him. he will cut it off.

You scrunched your nose up slightly at the inner battle you had with yourself. Jesus just keep your mouth shut. This wasnt gonna go well-

"not just sex" you blurted out, your eyes staying trained on levi.

'Shit.. screw me and my big mouth..' you spat to yourself in your head as you caught glimpse of his reaction..

Levi's eyes narrowed, his gaze piercing as he leaned forward, his voice low and intense. "What exactly do you want then, Runt?"

You let out a small sigh.. levi had made it clear this was just sex.. and here you were about to screw it up. Now you wouldnt even have that to look forward to.

"i-.. you said just sex.. and- im..im okay with that if thats all you want still... but i want more.. than sex... i mean- i mean as in i like you more than just sexual desire.."

Levi's expression was frozen, his eyes fixed on yours as if he was trying to read between the lines. The air around you both seemed to thicken, the silence becoming almost palpable.

He didn't move, didn't blink, just stared at you with an intensity that made you feel like he was seeing right through you. And then, in a low, rough voice, he spoke. "You're not supposed to feel that way."

Your eyes narrowed ever so slightly, giving him a deadpanned look. Did this man seriously just-

"oh you think?" You snapped, the sarcasm dripping from my lips as if it was your first language, probably was at this point, you popped out shitting sarcastic cries.

Levi's eyes flashed with a hint of irritation, but he didn't rise to the bait.

Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable once again. "I didn't think you were the type to get attached," he said, his voice neutral, but with a hint of warning. "We had an agreement, Runt. Just sex. Nothing more."

You let out a small breath, letting your shoulders slump. You werent really sad, you had expected that answer. but it still was a little disappointing.

"i know. and im not breaking the agreement.. we can keep it just sex. i just wanted to let you know" you mumbled, playing with the handle of your teacup.

Levi's expression remained neutral, but his eyes seemed to hold a hint of curiosity. "Why tell me, then?" He muttered, as if annoyed you had to speak up.

Well, maybe he was annoyed. You probably just made it awkward for him to fuck you without thinking about how you like him.

The question lingered in the air for a minute. You werent really sure how to explain this.. sure, levi knew you werent one to keep your mouth shut. But there was more to it.

You let out a small huff and shrugged ever so slightly. You werent one to keep it in, that was for sure. You proved that when you blatently told levi you wanted him to fuck you even though he was your captain.. but also..

"hope? i hoped you'd tell me you felt the same. i knew it wasnt true but a girl can dream." You stiffled out with a tiny chuckle. It was funny, if you thought about it.

Levi, saying i like you too. Even the words didnt sound like something he'd say if he did somehow like you back. He wouldn't probably just tell you you're okay and he will put up with you.

His gaze lingered on yours, his expression still unreadable, but his eyes seemed to hold a flicker of something - not quite surprise, not quite understanding, but something in between. Trying to figure out what would probably make your head hurt.

He didn't say anything for a moment, just looked at you, and for a fleeting instant, you thought you saw a glimmer of... sadness? But then, his mask slipped back into place, and he spoke in a low, detached tone. "Don't get your hopes up, Runt. I'm not capable of..."

You let out a small snort, leaning your cheek on your hand and raised an eye brow at him. That seemed oddly, pointed.

"yeah? so those rumours about you having a wife?"

Levi's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched. "There's no wife, Runt. Don't believe everything you hear."

Your gaze changed from playful to shocked. He just lied. He did have a wife? No.. hange would know. Ex wife maybe? Theres no way..

"You dont have a wife then?"

His expression turned cold, his eyes glinting with a warning. "I said I don't, Runt. Drop it." He hissed out, placing his teacup down.

"Ex wife?"

Levi's face went still, his eyes flashing with a hint of anger. He leaned back in his chair, his voice low and even, but with a subtle undercurrent of tension. "What's your point, Runt?"

Your eyes went wide, leaning your body forward as you stared at him with disbelief. He had a wife? Levi- levi?

Your mouth stayed slightly parted as you stared over at him in shock, him returning the gaze with an irritated one.

"You had a wife?!"

Levi's expression turned glacial, his eyes cold and hard. He didn't say anything, just stared back at you, his silence a clear warning to drop the subject. But the tension in his body, the way his jaw was clenched, spoke volumes about the emotions he was trying to keep hidden.

You didnt really care about his warning. This was way to shocking to not ask questions. You couldnt help but picture levi married, holding hands with someone, smiling-

"When? Why did you two break up?'

Levi's eyes narrowed, his voice cold and detached. "It was a long time ago. We were children. It didn't work out."

You let out a small 'ah' in acknowledgement. That made sense you guessed, getting married young and then changing.. for levis case it was probably joining the scouts right? God you were curious.

A small huff left your lips, knowing if you pushed any further he would just get up and leave. So you gave a small nod.

Levi's expression remained neutral, but his eyes seemed to relax slightly, as if he was relieved that you were dropping the subject. He nodded curtly, his gaze drifting away from yours, and picked up his tea cup, taking a sip in silence.

You sat in the silence, your leg slightly bouncing under the table. You werent gonna be able to keep it in. You needed to talk things out. You needed him to tell you things. Maybe if you speak fast enough he wont cut you off-

"And- about you closing yourself off-" you hurried out but it was pointless. Levi was to incessantly annoyance when it came to shutting down your conversations.

His eyes snapped back to yours, his expression instantly wary. He set his tea cup down, his voice low and even, but with a hint of warning. "I'd rather not discuss that either"

You huffed slightly. what were you guys meant to talk about then? You just told him you liked him in more than a sexual way, found out he has an ex wife.. he wont discuss why hes closing himself off.. you could feel a headache coming on just from the stress of it all, from not knowing or understanding..

"captain."

Levi's gaze lingered on yours for a moment, as if searching for something, before he nodded curtly and stood up. "I have work to attend to. You're dismissed, soldier."

Soldier?-

You tensed slightly as your eyes followed him with a glare. What was this mans problem?! From runt to fucking soldier? Come on, thats just way too far to go just to try push you away..

You let out a small groan as you set your cup down a bit too harsh. "Your fear of intimacy is showing sir!" You called out as he walked off.

His steps faltered for a moment, his back stiffening, before he continued walking away without looking back. The sound of his boots echoing through the room was the only response he gave.

You watched, the door shutting behind him making you slump back down in your seat with a sigh. What a stubborn man....

the room was left in silence, except for the sound of your sigh and the faint echo of footsteps fading away. You were left alone with your thoughts and the lingering tension in the air.

You didn't wait much longer in the messhall, heading up to your shared room with the other cadets to let your mind unravel itself in there.

Why was levi so quick to change his attitude? Should you just wait.. maybe if you let him come to you, he will feel more at ease to-

You rolled in your bed, yelling into your pillow in frustration.

He was making you sound insane, come to you? With his problems? Since when did liking someone make you say the most stupidest shit.

.

The next day was just as annoying as the night. your thoughts filled with levi yet again. you couldn't help but try to think of him in the scenario of being in a relationship with you.. he didn't really seem like the type to be very lovey dovey, but at the same time.. He's surprised you before.

As you sat eating your breakfast, you kept your gaze down at the table you and your friends sat at.. totally not making a strategy to get him to fall for you..

To be fair. you got him to sleep with you. Would it really be so hard to make him see how great you were to date, too?

Just as you were lost in your thoughts, you heard someone clear their throat, boots against the floor, and a figure stood across from you at the end of the table.

You looked up to see Levi's stoic face staring back at you, his eyes fixed on you with an unreadable expression. He didn't say a word, just stood there, his presence commanding attention.

everyones eyes looked up to him, including yours as you picked at your bread. why was he standing at our table?-

Levi's gaze swept across the table, his eyes lingering on each of your friends before settling back on you.

He didn't seem to notice the awkwardness he was causing, or maybe he just didn't care. After a moment of silence, he spoke, his voice low and even. "I need to speak with you, runt. Get up."

You frowned slightly, glancing to your friends who were all giving confused looks, some snickering

You gave levi a small nod and stood, pressing your lips together as you did. was this about yesterday? No.. it. was probably about training.. god, you hated not knowing things.

Levi walked off, his movements economical and precise, and walked out of the room without waiting for you to follow.

You trailed behind him, your eyes fixed on his back as you wondered what this was about.

As you walked, the sound of your friends' murmurs and snickers faded away, replaced by the creaking of the old wooden floorboards beneath your feet.

Levi stopped in front of a door, pushed it open, and stepped aside, revealing a narrow corridor. "In here," he said, his voice low and curt.

with a small nudge of levis hand on your back, you walked into the small corridor and glanced back at him, unsure if you were to keep walking or stop now that you both were in private.

His eyes met yours, his expression unreadable. He didn't say a word, just waited for a moment before nodding slightly, as if to himself.

Then, he stepped forward, his movements fluid and deliberate, and closed the door behind you, the sound of the lock clicking into place echoing through the small corridor.

The air seemed to thicken, the silence between you becoming almost palpable.

what was he doing.. you thought. you felt your heart rate quicken and the unnerving silence between you two.

"Captain, whats?-"

Levi's eyes narrowed, "We need to talk about yesterday," he said, his voice low and even, but with a hint of tension beneath the surface.

shit. that doesn't sound good. you thought to yourself as you stared at him with a slight frown. you leaned back against the other side of the corridor, opposite levi, and gave him a small nod as if to tell him to go on.

Levi's gaze held yours, his eyes searching for something, before he leaned against the wall, his movements mirroring yours.

The silence between you stretched out for a moment before he spoke, his voice low and measured.

"I don't want to talk about my past, runt. I don't want to talk about my feelings.. yet you keep persisting.. this isn't one of those things you can talk your mouth off and hope I eventually give in.... But I do want to make one thing clear: I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm not interested in... whatever it is you're looking for."

you felt your heart sink. you already knew this.. but hearing him say it kinda ..stung.

what was the point of trying to fight it if he put it so clearly. you could sense that there was more, so you didn't speak, you probably couldn't even if you tried. For once, you were fully at a loss for words.

What was he gonna say.. never to speak to him again? Call off the sex? He seemed uncomfortable. You watched his feet shift in his spot as you glanced up at him for a quick second.

Levi's eyes seemed to bore into yours, as if daring you to contradict him. His voice took on a slightly harder edge. "And as for the other arrangement... I think it's best if we just keep things professional from now on. No more...distractions."

ouch.

hurts more to be right... you kept your gaze down as you bit the inside of your cheek. what were you meant to say.. you couldn't really disagree, could you? you would feel too dumb to at this point..

"y-yeah okay" you chocked out, trying not to sound upset, but that failed miserably

Levi's expression didn't change, but his eyes flickered with a hint of something - maybe disappointment, or maybe just an acknowledgement of the awkwardness.

He pushed off from the wall, his movements seeming detached, more than usual.. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other." He turned to leave, but not before adding, "And, runt? Try to keep your emotions in check. It's not becoming of a member of the Survey Corps."

Your eyes glared at the floor. seriously? how much of a prick did he have to be right now. keep your emotions in check? you felt your eyes brim with tears as you shut them tight to hide it.

"yes sir" you hissed out. hiding your tone with a harsh one. Crying in front of him was the last thing you wanted to do.

Levi's footsteps stopped, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something else.

But then, he just turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone in the corridor, the sound of his footsteps echoing off the walls. The door creaked open, and then shut behind him, leaving you in silence.

He always seemed to be doing that. Leaving you there with your own thoughts, letting them gnaw away at you.

This was it. You had to stop it.. he was right. You can't let stupid feelings get in the way of training.

There was an expidition in a month and you had to train-

Ah shit.. private fucking training..

You silently cursed out erwin as you walked out of the corridor levi had left you in, that definetly was gonna be more of a pain in the ass than usual....

***

AH storm before tha rainbow or whatever the saying is. Levi's a pussy 👏👏

- Teur <3