14: Jacob

JACOB'S POVFebruary 2nd

As soon as I finished dinner with my Dad, I excused myself from the table as quickly as possible. Harry Clearwater had come over to talk about developments with... some situation or another, and I was glad Billy wouldn't miss me. Katie seemed desperate, after all, and I wouldn't want to let her down. Besides— it would be nice to hang out somewhere other than my garage, which I could tell practically bored her to tears given how often she dozed off.

As soon as I left, Harry called after me. "Jake!"

I turned, a nervous grin emerging on my face. "Hey, Harry."

"I just wanted to talk with you a moment, if that's okay." His voice, which I had been familiar with since childhood, seemed gruffer than normal. Despite my rush to the bonfire, it was impossible to say no to him. He has the appearance of a grizzly bear but the heart of a teddy bear, Katie whispered to me once, and it was absolutely true.

I held in my sigh, hoping this wouldn't take too long. "Sure, Harry. What's up?"

——————————

Of course.

Another long and serious talk about duty and how my time is coming soon. Whatever that means... so dramatically ominous. Honestly, I'm starting to believe everyone on the Rez is cracked out. Seriously. Sam's gang has been staring me down, too. As if it's just a matter of time before I join them.

I check my watch as soon as I hop in the car. Late. I'm going to be over 30 minutes late. Hopefully Katie doesn't murder me.

As soon as I pull up to the beach, I start searching for Katie. Everyone stares at me, which is expected. At over 6 feet tall, I'm not exactly great at blending in. Katie isn't either, which is why I start looking away from the center of the action, towards the ocean.

I spot her talking with some guy. Squinting, I think I recognize him. Bella's friend Mike. He used to make me so jealous. Now... standing with Katie, my blood feels hot.

As I get closer, I realize they're arguing. Katie's yelling at him, although I can't tell what she's saying. I weave through the crowd as best as I can, eyes still on Katie, when I can finally hear what they're saying.

"Jesus Christ, Mike!" Katie shouts, and from here I can see her eyes burning with rage. "What, because I took a drink from you I'm all over you? I thought you wanted to be my friend. You're drunk, so I'm going to pretend this conversation never happened. Go back to your 'bros' and leave. me. alone." Her fists are clenched so hard that I think she might punch him. The tightness in my chest is replaced with a surge of protectiveness. He's larger than her, and while I know she can take care of herself, it's stupid to pick a fight.

But that's Katie, for you.

Mike shakes his head at her. "God, Katie, when did you become such a bitch?"

Suddenly furious, I quicken my steps. Someone recognizes me and calls my name, but I ignore them. Katie looks up, spotting me, before turning back to Mike. "Get the hell away from me, Mike," she spits out like venom.

He turns, furious, and spots me. Well, so much for a peaceful entry. "Oh, look who's coming to defend you, Katie. Jacob from the Rez. Is he your boyfriend?"

He's drunk. Of course. "Stop being a dick, man. Just leave her alone," I say, keeping a good distance. I could beat him in a fight. He's smaller than both Quil and Embry, and I have no problem wrestling either of them.

He raises his hands. "I don't want to fight. It's her fault."

"Fault? What are you, a kindergartener? Leave, Mike." Katie replied firmly.

Mike, glaring, heads back towards the bonfire. I watch after him, nearly shaking with anger, when Katie touches my arm.

"Asshole," I say, turning to look at her.

She nods. "Yeah. Some guys can't take a hint." She laughs dryly, as if that was some hilarious joke, and looks towards the ocean.

I smile at that, then fully take her in. Her hair is out of her face, cheeks slightly rosy. Her outfit is tighter than it usually is, revealing her slim figure. She's underweight. She had been having trouble with her situation, barely sleeping, always taking care of Bella... I had known that, but still, the realization hit me like a bag of bricks.

"Yeah, well, sorry I'm late." I say, running a hand through my hair. "Harry Clearwater wanted to talk to me."

"Oh yeah? What about?" Katie asks, wrapping her flannel tighter around herself.

Annoyance flares in my chest as I remember Harry's message. Instead of answering, I narrow my eyes at her, grinning. "Are you cold?"

Katie shakes her head. "Me? Never."

I laugh again, shrugging off my jacket. "Here," I offer. The cool air feels good on my arms. "I'm hot, anyways."

"You're always hot," Katie rolls her eyes, but takes the jacket from me. I raise an eyebrow, and she punches my arm. "Not like that. Remember what I said about you being a radiator?"

I nod. "It's hard to forget being compared to a house appliance." Katie smiled slightly, and it cooled me down. Her smile...

No. I can't think about that. She's my best friend. There are things in her past she needs to work out first. I want to give her the space she needs. Even if it breaks my heart a little.

Bella, having spotted the commotion or heard something from Mike, raced towards us clumsily. "Hey! Katie, you alright?" She asks breathlessly. There was a time I had thought Bella was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. She was beautiful, no doubt, but somehow... I dunno, she had just gone back to being Bella who grew up nearby. It was hard to have a crush on a girl who wasn't... well...

"Yeah." Katie said, her annoyance with the situation clear. She rolled her eyes, shrugging on my jacket. "I think someone needs to remind Mike that he's got to stop being an asshole."

Bella's cheeks reddened slightly. "I think he's drunk. That's not an excuse, though," she adds softly. "Um, you two don't have to stay. I'll make an excuse for you."

Katie perks up. "Are you sure?"

Bella nods. "I'm not drinking. I can drive myself home. You should take a walk on the beach or something. Sorry that Charlie made you come."

I almost raise an eyebrow at that, but decide to stay out of it. Whatever is happening between Bella, Katie, and Charlie is none of my business. Even if I was more than a little curious.

"Thanks," Katie responds, ignoring Bella's last comment. Turning to me, she adds, "after you."

I nod, forcing myself to walk at a casual pace away from the chatter of the bonfire. Suddenly, I think of just the right thing to do. "Hey, can I show you something? It's a bit of a drive."

Katie's eyes light up with anticipation. "Depends on what you want to show me."

My heart pounds. "It'll be worth it, city girl."

She makes a skeptical noise but a smile creeps onto her face. It makes a part of me thrill with delight. "Sure. As long as you're willing to drive."

"Well, c'mon then."

——————————

I park at an outcropping on the edge of the forrest, overlooking a wide field of semi-dead grass. As I kill the engine, Katie raises an eyebrow at me. "Where are we?" She asks, her lips pressed together like she's trying not to laugh.

"Give me a minute," I say, unclipping my seatbelt. I hop out of the seat, walking around the back to pop my trunk. I knew there would be a blanket back here, because Bella had told me that it would one day come in useful. Being the heartsick fool that I was, I had obediently held on to that hope, and was now thanking her for her sound advice.

I popped the latch and pulled the blanket from the trunk. Katie, being as impatient as ever, hopped out of the car to see what I was doing, and watched as I laid the blanket on the grass.

"This is my favorite place to go stargazing," I say as confidently as I can, fighting the lump in my throat. We always hung out together, but this time it just felt... different. "And tonight is a full moon."

Katie smirked. "What, not afraid that a werewolf will come and eat us?" Despite her comment, she takes the initiative and lays on the blanket.

I swear, my heart has never beat faster. I move to lay by her side, a couple of inches away but still close enough that I can almost feel her breathing. "Nah, the werewolves come out at midnight. We've got time."

She grins, turning to look at my face. We're so close, it's electrifying. I want nothing more than to close the distance between us.

So I improvise. "You might not want to tell your boyfriend about this."

Katie's face slackens with disgust. "Mike is not my boyfriend."

"Oh? Well, then there must be some other guy who's caught your attention." The words tumble out before I can stop them. Why am I such an idiot?

She ignores the implication. "Your girlfriend would probably be pissed if she knew you took me to your special stargazing spot."

Her suggestion blindsights me. "I don't have a girlfriend." I point out, feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet. "I felt like Quil and Embry giving me shit would have been enough evidence for that."

Katie laughs, and it's dazzling. "They were making jokes about me? I thought they were talking about your actual girlfriend."

I laugh at that. "I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

Katie scoffs. "How would me assuming you had a girlfriend be stupid? You know you're attractive."

My heart is thunderous in my chest. I decide to play it flirtatious, unable to come up with a good comeback. "Oh yeah?"

She rolls her eyes, but a smile plays on her lips. Ignoring me, she points at the smh. "Do you know which constellation that is?"

I watch her for a moment, but force myself to look at the night sky. Even as I look up at the constellations, all I want is to turn back and watch her more. "Uh, Cassiopeia, right?"

She nods slowly. "It's beautiful. So... bright."

I snort. "It looks like a zig-zag."

She turns back to me, offended. Our noses almost brush each other. She sucks in a nervous breath, suddenly realizing our proximity. "Still beautiful," she says seriously, slowly turning her head back towards the sky.

After as long of a silence as I can bear, I decide to be an idiot again. "Katie?"

"Yeah?" She asks quietly, her gaze still aimed at the stars.

I've never been this nervous around someone before. Something inside of me feels like I'm being tugged to her. Like every second I'm not with her I'm pulling tight on an elastic band that's stretching in her direction. "Have you ever had your heart broken?"

Stupid brain.

Katie stills. After a moment, she sighs, her smile fading. "Once." It sounds like she's choking on her own words.

I don't know what I had been expecting, but I instantly felt protective of her. "Well, screw him."

"Screw him?" She asks, the severity of her mood relaxing. "What are you, an elementary schooler?"

I shake my head and grin. "Clearly." I gesture to myself up and down. "I fit the build, after all."

"Uh-huh," she agrees sarcastically, shaking her head slightly. With her turned towards me, my brain feels even foggier.

"What happened? Between you and this... guy?" I press, like the idiot I am.

She swallows hard. "There's not much to know. He and I weren't going to work out," she dismisses, and I can see right through her. It was kind of a personal question though, so I don't blame her. Just goes to show why I am such a dumbass.

"Difference in opinion?" I try to relieve the pressure by giving her an easy way out.

She just nods, clearing her throat. "Something like that," Despite the tone of dismissal, her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

Suddenly, even if don't know who this guy is, I can't help but defend her. "Yeah, well, sounds like you're better off without him."

"Yeah, it probably wasn't going to work out in the first place. We were too different in a lot of ways. And then my parents died and... well, however terrible it sounds... I'm glad I'll never have to face him again?" Katie whispers. "I don't know. I used to mourn him like I did my parents. But now, I just don't see the point."

Her voice sounds empty. "Hey, I didn't mean to be so prying," I apologize quietly.

"You're basically my best friend, Jacob. It wasn't exactly prying to know whether or not I'd ever had a serious relationship." Katie said, breezing past my awkwardness like it was nothing. "Honestly, I'm surprised it didn't come up sooner."

I chuckle at that. "Well, if you weren't always falling asleep, maybe it would have."

She gasps as if she's been betrayed. "I do not always fall asleep!"

"Yeah, you do, Katie," I laugh so hard I have to double over. "Do you even remember coming over some days? You nap for, like, hours. I'm worried someday you'll fall asleep driving on the way home."

She hesitates, but laughs with me. "I can't help it!"

"You really need to sleep in your own bed, for a change." I say, which is probably crossing the line, but I'm pretty sure we've always established that my mouth is moving faster than my brain. "Y'know, prioritize yourself for a night?" Somebody shoot me, seriously.

Her smile wavers, but stays on her face. "I don't mind it." Her tone is final.

I'm in too deep now. "Yeah, but it isn't good for you. You've lost weight these last few weeks. Just promise you'll take care of yourself too?"

She hesitates, then nods. "Sure, Mr. I've-grown-three-inches-in-the-last-few-months. What are you, taking steroids that make you have a crazy growth spurt?"

"Maybe you're just getting shorter," I tease, but don't let her get off that easy. "But I mean what I said. I just wanna... look after you."  Yep, those words were just about as tacky as they could be.

"I know," she says, and looks at her hands. "But Bella needs me."

I understand Katie. I really do. And I know she understands me. What I just don't understand is her aversion to taking care of herself. It's like she has no self-preservation. Honestly, it was like neither of the Swan girls had any self-preservation. It made me frustrated how little they valued theirselves in the big picture.

We sit in a strong silence for a moment before I blurt, "I hate Edward Cullen." For what he did to Bella, which was trickling to Katie. For just existing, I guess. Maybe I needed some time away from the elaborate Rez stories.

Katie, to her credit, doesn't seemed surprised by my comment. In fact, she bursts out into dry laughter. "You know what? Same."

And guess what?

She fell asleep as I drove her home.