*𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟡𝟝

-나는 그들의 것, 그들의 내 꺼야-

-weeks past-

-seungcheol's pov-

"are you sure she wasn't there?" i sat down on my seat. the study was full of boxes with countless books and documents inside them.

it's becoming stuffy in here, i thought.

areum said she wanted to go back to seoul, much to our surprise, so we needed to pack the important things and send them out a few days earlier.

"seulgi was nowhere to be found. she's after areum for an entirely different reason," jun sat down across from me, relaxing on the seat. "but there's been no sighting of her. there hasn't been anyone after us in weeks, not since we took out gong-myung."

i let out a deep sigh.

this is troublesome.

"let's keep our guard up."

🌷

-areum's pov-

"i need to talk to you guys," i sat down on a loveseat. i had waited for a day that all of them were at home to talk to them finally.

it's taken an entire month to finally build up the courage to say any of this, what i've gone through these last few years.

-august 19th-

i sat down all of them, trying to get all of their attention. some of them already know what i've gone through but not all of them.

seungcheol knew what i was going to do right now, he looked at me with a concerned look. but he understood why i needed to do this. i can't keep so many secrets from them. but i don't think i'll ever be able to tell them about what kai said to me.

anything, just the mere thought makes a chill run down my spine.

so when i started explaining to them what happened years ago, it felt good. it was scary to tell them, but it felt good to have that weight off my shoulders.

"are you okay now?" jun seemed the most concerned of them all. halfway through, tears started forming in his eyes.

the relief i felt was immense, to finally have it out there felt freeing like i didn't have as much weight on my shoulders anymore.

"i'm fine now," i pursed my lips together into a thin smile.

"but please, don't treat me any differently now. i'm fine, i can take care of myself," i stood up from my seat.

i saw how differently soonyoung and joshua treated me when everything happened. i hated how much they doted on me afterward. it made me feel strange, weaker than i was.

"okay," dokyeom stood up and walked towards me, engulfing me in a huge hug. "you're not the only one that's been in a bad place," he whispered. "i'm glad you found the strength to tell us."

🌷

"jeonghan?" i knocked on his door, waiting for a response.

i wasn't done talking to them about intimate matters yet. there's still something i need to tell them, and i'm not sure how they will react to them.

"come in," i hears from the other side. as i opened the door i was met with the smell of sweet flowers.

it was late at night and everyone else was asleep, so it was a good time to talk to them, any of them.

it's been a while since i've been able to talk to jeonghan wholeheartedly, and i miss it greatly.

i saw him sitting at his desk, leaning back on his chair as he held a book in his hands. this would seem completely normal, if only he were holding the book the right way.

"what were you doing?" i walked behind him, letting my hands fall from behind him to be on his chest, my chin on his shoulder.

"just reading a book," i felt his cheek contract into a smile.

"han... the book is upside down," i placed my nose so that it was on his nape, planting small kisses on it.

i've become so bold.

i heard him take in a deep breath, and softly let it out. "i was playing maplestory and failing," he chuckled and i let out a muffled, breathy, laugh and finally noticed the turned-off screens on his desk.

"i wanted to talk to you," i walked to stand in front of him, taking the book from his hands and placing it on the desk. he looked amused at my confidence, almost like he was humoring me. his own confidence making butterflies dance in my belly.

"what is it?" he arched a brow as i leaned into him, my hands on the arms of the chairs.

"this is going to sound strange," i looked down for a moment, taking moment to breathe. "just say it," he smiled, one of his hands inching towards mine, his fingers touching me ever so slightly.

"polyamory is normal for your... society," i stopped for a moment, i've never been sure of how to refer to it. "yes," he nodded.

"we've all had some experience in it one way or another," he took a strand of hair from my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. "i like the hair by the way," he smirked at me.

"thanks," another sheepish smile formed on my lips. he's too flirtatious.

"so i was wondering..." i stopped myself.

how do i even ask this?

"i can't decide."

"what?"

"one day, i know you guys are going to make me decide. decide who i will choose to love. but i can't bring myself to. i love you all too much," i tried to bring my eyes to meet his, but i couldn't. i was still unsure of how he would react.

his response to this matter is extremely important to me. i still have  my insecurities and there is so much i don't know about anything and everything, like how the world truly works, or what it will truly be to have more than one lover.

this is the stage that other teenagers call the "talking stage."

"plus, it wouldn't be so bad being with all the men i love," i tried to give some comic relief, more for myself than for him.

but once i felt his hand reach for my chin, his hand barely touching me, my anxiety peaked.

but at the same rate the anxiety came, it left.

he had a smile on his face, his cheeks were a soft shade of pink and his eyes sparkled.

"areum, i would do anything to be by your side," he leaned in a bit, my eyes drawing towards his lips as he grew closer.

"so yes, i would love to be your lover," he finally placed his lips on mine.

the tingling in my stomach only grew with his acceptance of my offer. but knowing that i was on my way to being with all of the ones that i love felt so good.

everything in my life was getting into the right place, everything is good. but why do i feel like something bad is going to happen?

🌷

i was able to talk to all of them about what mingyu suggested. it went surprisingly well. they all accepted and we were all officially in a relationship. it still feels so strange to say that. but everything is going so well.

i was surprised at how well soonyoung took it. he's always been the jealous and possessive type but he seemed to be okay with it, but i don't doubt that he's still going to get jealous.

it's been almost a month since we returned to seoul, and a few weeks before i decided to enroll in seoul university and i was starting soon. i can start looking at what i truly wish to study now.

but still the fear of not even being able to finish college, or even my life, haunts me.

every day i'm reminded of what kai said to me.

"what would trigger it? what would make me selene?"

"anything."

the only hope i have of overcoming this is if i'm able to speak with selene without being interrupted, without being awoken, with the ability to speak.

dreams are so strange.

one moment i'm in my room, hearing her voice from a distance, sometimes i can even see her in my reflection, but other times i'm just in black space.

and still, i can hear her speaking.

sometimes about useless things, but other times she speaks of her life, and how horribly kai treated her.

kai always said that he loved her with all his heart, but from what selene says, i think that could be farther from the truth.

she would talk about how whenever she created the slightest hindrance toward kai, he would lock her away. the things she told me were frightening and made me look at the world with hate.

she's seen almost all of the world's atrocities, but still how she describes the things kai did to her seems so much worse.

whenever they got into big arguments i would see how aggressive kai would get, sometimes to the point that he would be the one to kill her. but because she always comes back reincarnated he always found her.

but it wasn't just him that was horrible to her. she would also hurt him, more psychologically than physically.

they hated each other, but they would get caught up in the passion and always forgive each other.

but this time selene isn't going to come back, at least that's what she wishes.

in all honesty, selene is a kind woman, goddess(?). she has spent most of her existence in the bodies of others, waiting to be awoken, so she hasn't been completely corrupted by time like kai has.

kai has become despicable. he does heinous acts and feels almost nothing, but selene she feels the guilt and shame of her actions.

she doesn't want to go back to him, no matter what.

all she wishes now is to go in peace, to finally rest.

a/n i know this is late! but the queen is dead omg i was in the middle of class before taking a test when i heard the news OMFG in america we've portrayed her as this immortal being and we're supposed to outlive her but NOW WHAT

edit: now we have to outlive andrew tate, it has been confirmed🫡🫡

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