𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟟𝟟

-나는 그들의 것, 그들의 내 꺼야-

the side of him a saw last night was one that i never imagined i would see. when i was younger i was afraid of him and i could never believe he would ever be kind or caring to me

this was foreign to me, but i liked it. this side of him that i've been seeing for the last few months is wonderful. he's loving and caring

so when i woke up that morning to him entering my room and hugging me, planting kisses all over my face to wake me up, i was surprised, but at the same time i loved it

i love him with my whole heart

he even offered to sleep in a different room, he said that if i was uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed, he could sleep in the guest room. i'm sure he knew, even behind the smiles i give, there was fear. fear of him losing control and attacking me because of the scent of blood

i reluctantly went to sleep alone. even though i don't like sleeping alone, the fear was more prominent in my mind. so i endured the loneliness

"good morning, baby" he whispered in my ear

"that's a cute nickname" i giggled. my eyes were still closed as i snuggled into my pillow. "a little unoriginal, but cute" "what would you like to be called then?" his hot breath was on my ear, it sent shivers down my spine

"anything" i muttered

"so, baby girl?" he teased, suggesting something more provocative

"what? do you like being called daddy or something" i chuckled a little, but i was actually trying to hide the way his words affected me. there were butterflies in my stomach and my cheeks were the slightest bit red

"i mean, only if you want to" i could feel his smile against my neck, his lips leaving soft kisses on me

my eyes burst open, thinking he was joking, only to realize he was serious

"and the pet names are over" i dragged the 'and' as i spoke

he can't possibly be serious

it surprised me to know that he has a kink like that. i was prepared for anything: dom, sub, choking, bondage, anything, but that

but at the same time, the aura he gives off is the same as any older man that knows how handsome he looks and how much power he holds over someone. he's intimidating and authoritative. it made sense

"i thought you would chicken out at the mention of the word baby girl" he chuckled, his morning voice deep and raspy. he put his entire weight on the bed and over me as he spoke

"shut up" i covered my ears with my hands, playfully going, "la la la la la" like a child ignoring someone that's telling them off

"areum. okay okay. i'll stop teasing" a breathy laugh escaped him because of my childish antics

"thank you" i giggle as i finally stopped, i turned around so that we were face-to-face. he had a bright smile on his face, one that i've never seen before; his eyes were sparkling like the night sky and all his teeth were showing

but his eyes were still red

"cheol" i muttered, my hands now on either of his cheeks. "i've been thinking" i continued, "the others deserve to know"

the smile on his face faltered and his eyebrows furrowed, "know what?"

"about what i went through a year after you guys were gone" i muttered, "about my depression and what i did" i whispered the second part. "not all of them know and they deserve to know what happened. it feels like i'm keeping a terrible secret from them" which i am

my eyes were still looking at his and he sighed deeply, "myungho, joshua, soonyoung and i know. if you want to tell the others, it's your decision" his lips thinned out into a small smile

"do you not agree?" a nervous chuckle left me, "it's not that i don't agree, it's going to be a hard thing to do" he grabbed my waist and picked me up so that i was sitting on his lap as he spoke. "i want you to understand that"

"i do"

the thought of telling them first entered my head when i decided to keep that i could turn into selene from anything; from the smallest interaction or from turning into one of them. it made me feel guilty to keep so many secrets from them. two doesn't seem like a lot, but i tell them almost everything. except for a few intimate things that i can't tell anyone

these two things are going to eat me up so i should at least tell them what i did in the past

"and i still want to tell them" my hands made their way around his shoulders, hugging him slightly

"if you really want to, i'll support you" he pulled me close so that we were completely hugging

🌷

"what are we having for breakfast?" i walked down the steps after i freshened up and had a nice cold shower

"we're eating out. i know a café near this place that also serves breakfast" he was sitting on the sofa of the living room, waiting for me to come downstairs

what she was wearing:

what he was wearing:

"why do you always dress like you're a famous ceo?" i chuckled lightly, bringing my hand to cover my smile

"i don't judge the way you dress so don't judge the way i dress" he looked at his phone with pouty lips and a playful voice as he spoke, not even lifting his head to look at me. i chuckled at his response

"what café are we going to?" i sat down next to him in the same posture he was in. his entire torso was almost touching the part where you sit and his head was the only thing o the backrest, his legs were manspreading and in the air (aka that one TTT GoSe in 2018)

"it's near here" he muttered, finally turning to look at me. "you look nice" he smiled

🌷

"we'll have two blueberry muffins with one hot coffee and an iced americano" he ordered for us when it was our turn, "you want anything else?" he turned to me, "can i actually get two blueberry muffins instead of one" the sound of my rumbling stomach causing a sheepish smile to widen across my face

"sure thing" the cashier said as he turned to seungcheol to pay. i turned around to look at the people around us

they were regular people going on with their regular lives. some were on their way to work, others were there with their partner, and some were stopping for some food before school, i could tell from their uniforms that they were in school

seeing them brought a thought to my head

when am i going to graduate? it's already april and the final exams start in may

"cheol" i turned back to him, wrapping my arm around his as we walked to a table for us to sit and wait for our order, "am i going to finish school here in london?"

"yeah, you're starting next week" he pulled the chair for me to sit, pushing it in as i sat down

"good" i chuckled a little, "i was a little worried i wouldn't graduate" i brought my hand to cover my smile again

"didn't think you cared about your education so much" he chuckled a little, sitting across from me. he had his eyes covered with glasses to cover the red color they were

he slowly brought his hand closer to mine that was laying on the table as i looked at my phone and before i could react, he wrapped his fingers between mine. this small gesture made me blush when we made eye contact

it was a moment where it felt like it was just the two of us. the sound of people speaking around us disappeared and they ceased to exist to us. just the two of us. his cold hands on my warm hands were the only thing i felt. i could no longer feel the chilly breeze that came in from the open door of the café or the clothes on my skin or the phone on my hand

time stopped

it all just faded away

but that moment was gone when they called out our order. the people voices were heard again and the cold breeze was back, bringing goosebumps to my skin

he stood up and walked to get our breakfast, our breakfast was small but it was a kind gesture. we almost never eat out, mingyu or joshua always cook for us. always

i wonder how they're doing?

i hope they're okay

before i left, they said that i wouldn't be able to contact them, not if i called, emailed, texted, anything. but i haven't tried yet

i looked through the contacts of my phone, looking for the name shua. i pressed it and waited for him to answer the phone

ring~

c'mon, please answer

ring~

tell me you're alright

ring~

that i'm worrying for nothing

"the person you're trying to contact is cur-"

i let out a heavy sigh as i ended the call, looking at the photo in his contact, wondering if he and the others were okay

that they were safe, alive. not a rotting corpse in the ground

"areum" a cheery seungcheol sat down in front of me, placing two muffins in front of me with a coffee

"it looks good" i smiled lightly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut

"what's wrong?" he furrowed his brows slightly, that smile faltering on his lips

"um... have you talked to joshua yet?" i looked down at my muffins, i impulsively asked that without thinking it through, slightly regretting it now. "yeah" he took a bite from his muffin

he let out a small sigh after he finished chewing, trying to fill the silence that fell on us. it was an uneasy feeling that fell on us. that previous peace that surrounded us was now gone

now it felt gloomy and dark

his face was serious as he looked at me and my expression. his expression was dark and i could see his glowing red eyes through his glasses

how quickly the mood changes from one sentence, i nervously chuckled inside

"we spoke on the phone last night before i went to bed" he laid back on his chair, the same aura he used to have when i was younger. he was so scary, that same scared feeling he made me feel back then was back again

did i piss him off?

"would you like to talk to them?" the serious face he had washed away and a smile crept on his face again. "you can't actually talk to them, but you can listen to the conversation" he clarified

"that would be lovely" a sweet and happy smile on his face. i stood up and walked to his side, hugging him tightly and laughing

i could feel the people's eyes on us, but i didn't care for once. before people's stares would make me anxious that they were judging me and making fun of me. it terrified me. but somehow, when i'm with him, it all just fades away

"thank you" i whispered underneath my breath

🌷

"reporting in" i heard joshua's voice over the burner phone seungcheol was holding in front of him

we were sitting on his bed; better said, the guest bedroom i somewhat forced him to sleep in, but not really. it was midnight and we were waiting for a call when the phone started ringing and joshua started speaking

it was a relief to hear his voice again. it had only been a day or two, but i already missed them a lot. i might separation anxiety, i huffed a little

"report" seungcheol responded

"we've spent the entire day trying to get information out of him to no avail. he's been compelled to keep his mouth shut" i heard him sigh over the phone, "we have to wait for the vervain, that was already in his system, to get out so that we can get the information out of him"

"if we get where their base is, we can exterminate them" he continued, "and you guys can come back"

"i trust you to take care of this" seungcheol sighed, "do what you have to do so all of us can be under the same roof" he moved his hand to be over my thigh, gently squeezing it as he spoke

i could hear joshua sigh again over the phone, "has anything happened over there?" he asked, his serious tone from before changing to a more worried one

"no, everything's fine. we went out and it didn't seem like anyone was following us ar watching us. everything's fine, shua" seungcheol's voice soften as he spoke. they were all worried about us over here, just as much as i am worried for them over there

"everything is going to be fine" he said. as seungcheol said those words it seemed like he was saying them more to me than to joshua who was over the phone

"okay" joshua hung up the phone and we were left looking at each other

"you were watching the people around us?" "yeah. i always am" his lips thinned out into a line, placing the burner phone in the end table next to the bed

when he turned around, i took the opportunity to hug him from behind, wrapping my arms around his waist and placing my head against his bed

he was cold, but i didn't care

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