xxiv

Yuzuru's POV

It had been hell for the past weeks. 

And it all started when I hurt Luna. Like dominoes, one by one, everything started falling down. What we built for the past how many months just came crumbling down with one, little push. 

I had to stay in Japan since I wasn't fit to travel and come back to Canada. You may ask, why did I let Luna go like that? 

Well, at first, hearing those words come of Luna's mouth made my heart crack and break into millions of pieces. That's why as easily as that, I gave up. However, as soon as I walked out Luna's hospital room that day, Sky immediately followed me to my room to talk. 

"She needs you."

"Out of everyone here, besides me of course, you should know that she didn't mean what she said."

"Luna said those things because of her condition. Yuzuru, she's lying. She loves you. I know you know that."

"Don't give up on her."

Those are just some of the things Sky said to me that day. I didn't want to believe him. It seemed like Luna really didn't love me anymore and that she wants me to leave her alone. 

But as the days passed by, I pondered over everything, especially on the memories we made. That's when everything fell into place again and I internalized everything that Sky said. 

Luna's the strongest person I know. She has been going through a lot and has probably been keeping her emotions to herself and on that day, I ruined her. (A/N : Innocent minds, ppl. Innocent minds.)

That's why I decided to go back to Canada and watch her Free Skate at the Canadian Nationals. It wasn't easy convincing Coach Brian and my doctor back in Japan, though. I literally did not do anything to strain my ankle so I would be allowed to travel.

And here I am. I'm trying to convince Javi to wheel me out so I could see Luna's performance. 

"Come on, Javi. No one will notice. Look, the media are on the other side and the audience will be too pre-occupied with Luna's program. Please?"

"You know Coach Brian said to keep you inside the room backstage right? There's a TV there where you can watch her." Javi replied with hesitation.

"Please? I just... I want to watch her in person again..." I whisper silently.

After a few moments of silence, I hear Javi sigh deeply.

"Fine. But we'll go back immediately before her scores are announced and you're going to wait for her instead. Understood?" He said with a worried look plastered on his face. 

"Thanks, Javi. I owe you one." I flash him a small smile of gratitude as he pushed my wheelchair towards the door leading to the rink. 

I don't need to hear her score anyway. I know she'll win. I thought to myself as I clutch the crutches on my lap. 

Watching Luna makes me really proud. She's the most hardworking person I know and she doesn't let her condition hinder her passion of skating. I don't even want to think about the consequence of her pursuing what she loves the most. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to mention it. 

I have to be positive. For the both of us. For her. Because I don't think my heart can handle losing someone I treasure so much. 

I stood up leaning against my crutches as me and Javi watch her skate secretly from the door. Halfway through, Javi said frantically,

"Yuzu. We should go. I think a reporter saw you from the other side of the rink. Let's watch from the room." 

"But-" I say wanting to stay and watch Luna some more.

"Please Yuzu." It was Javi's turn to say please. I can hear the worry in his voice. My trip back to Canada was made secret. The last thing we want is for people to crowd around me and possibly worsen my injury even more. 

And so I reluctantly nodded, taking one last glance at Luna before heading back. 

Just in time, we saw Luna end her program. And I saw it. Her face. Before I knew of her condition, I thought it was normal for her to look more tired than she usually is. If was just more observant, I would've been able to notice she's been suffering. I was selfish. I should've noticed.

I see her wobble as she bowed to the audience. She's tired.

As I continue to observe her, her movements become noticeably sloppy from fatigue and exhaustion. Though the claps and applause drown it out, I can see her breathing audibly. Seeing her in such state makes my heart clench. 

And as I predicted, she won. Undeniably. I see her laugh a bit to herself as she flashed a smile to everyone which made me look away from the screen, tears forming on the corner of my eyes.

I hate it. I hate it when she fakes a smile when I know she's hurting. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves so much more...

I know Javi is looking at me and he decided to excuse himself probably to give me some privacy.

As I return my gaze back at the screen, only an overview of the rink and the standings were shown. She's probably heading back. I should prepare myself. 

I am sitting on my wheelchair, back against the wall and almost behind the door waiting for Luna, Coach and Sky come in when I hear rapid footsteps. Like someone running. 

Suddenly, the door slammed open and in goes the person I've been longing for. But something seems wrong. 

Luna rushed to her back and dropped down on her knees, rummaging through her stuff in panic. Loose hairs were framing her beautiful face, beads of sweat forming on her forehead and neck. Her medicine.

Because she was panicking too much, she didn't notice she tossed her medicine bottle as well. Luna started to move slowly and before I knew it, she's about to pass out. 

I immediately dropped my crutches and rushed to her, ignoring the throbbing pain on my ankle. Before she fell on the hard ground, I caught her just in time.

I lay her head on my lap as I reach for her medicine and water bottle. I put it in her mouth, supporting her head as she drank water to push the tablet down her throat. 

Luna's face visibly relaxed and a wave of relief passed me. I push away the loose hair from her face, noticing how cold her skin feels. 

I look down at her face. Though it seems like her heart has calmed down, I can hear her soft whimpers and tears fall from her eyes that were closed tightly. 

How much did she train for her to be exhausted like this? I thought as I felt pain just thinking about what she went through for the past weeks because of me. 

"Shhhhh. Its okay, its okay, Luna-chan. I'm here. You're okay." I say to her, caressing her cheek with my thumb to comfort her even though I heard my own voice shake. 

Her eyes snapped open. Those beautiful brown eyes that lost its sparkle. As we stare at each other, her expression looks like she'd seen a ghost. Slowly but surely, her eyelids started dropping while I continue to touch her cheek softly. 

And before she completely passed out, I hear her say

"P--please don't l-leave, Yuzu."

My tears started to fall uncontrollably as her eyes close completely. Before her body went limp, I whisper back,

"Never again."

I made a mistake of leaving and giving up once. I will not do that again. I'll stay no matter what.

-timeskip-

3rd Person's POV

Luna Saito's team has released an official statement regarding what happened at the 2018 Canadian Nationals, specifically why she ran quickly as if rushing for something.

Coach Brian, Coach Tracy, as well as Yuzuru, all agreed that it would be best not to disclose Luna's heart condition to the media. This information would be used to attack Luna especially on her scores, making it a reason for her to be underscored even though her performance would be perfect. 

Why did Yuzu had to agree? Because they included Yuzu's name in the statement. 

"Luna Saito is physically doing well. She is not sick whatsoever. The reason why she decided to run backstage almost immediately was because she was made aware that someone was waiting for her. As you all know, Yuzuru Hanyu and Luna Saito are in a relationship and have not seen each other for weeks due to what happened at the NHK Trophy last year. Yuzuru Hanyu has been allowed by his doctor to travel and has decided to support Luna Saito in person. That's all. Thank you."

As for Luna, she's in strict bedrest at home as instructed by her doctor as well as her brother. She was completely drained of energy which was strange because Luna's training schedule was adjusted ever since they got back from Japan. 

She's been asleep for almost 3 days now, an IV line on her right hand as her only source of nutrients for the meantime. 

For those days, Yuzuru never left her side. He's still waiting for her to wake up. Luna's parents also said Yuzuru needs to rest as he, too, is injured. He immediately declined, saying its okay and that she needs to watch over Luna to which Luna's parents just agreed hesitantly.

As Yuzuru kept a close eye on Luna, Sky kept a close eye on Yuzuru. Sky is beyond thankful for everything Yuzuru is doing for his sister. Truthfully, though he was the one who convinced him, Sky never actually thought Yuzuru would go back to Luna and make things right. Thus, he's returning the favor by taking care of Yuzu as Yuzu takes care of his sister. 

Currently, its 30 minutes past midnight and Yuzuru could not sleep. He just woke up from a nap after dinner courtesy of Luna's mom. 

In the darkness of night, the only thing lighting up the room is Luna's dim night light and only crickets could be heard in the middle of the silence.

"She's taking her time recharging huh?" Yuzu chuckled to himself as he tucked a loose strand of hair from Luna's face behind her ear.

Yuzu smiled fondly at Luna's peaceful sleeping face as his thumb caress the back of her hand. 

"You're so strong, hime. I hope you know that. But you know what? Its okay to show weakness sometimes. You don't have to keep it to yourself. You have your parents, your brother, Zhenya, Javi and Jason. You have me. You can talk to us. You're not alone...

I love you. I'm sorry I gave up so easily. But look. I'm here now. I'm sorry I took so long. Take all the time you need to rest. I can wait for you. Okay? So don't you give up." 

As Yuzu was about to fall asleep sitting down beside Luna's bed,

"Thank you, Yuzuru." Luna weakly said.

Yuzuru's head shot up immediately. "Luna-chan! You're awake! Here drink some water. I know you're parched." He supported her as she drank.

"Let me call your brother." Yuzuru was about to stand up when Luna held his wrist.

"You said you won't leave." Luna whispered, tugging softly at Yuzu's sleeve looking as she looked down. 

"But we have to let your brother know, Luna-chan." Yuzu chuckled softly at the cute actions of the girl in front of her.

Luna unconsciously pouted and showed Yuzu her puppy-dog eyes, which by the way, is Yuzu's greatest weakness. 

Yuzu just smiled and placed a soft peck on Luna's pouty lips and sat back down. "Okay fine. I'll just call him later. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

"You're not. Its okay. You can tell me."

For a few moments, only the sound of the trees being swayed by the cold wind could be heard.

"I'm sorry." Luna finally broke the silence as she sniffled, holding back a sob. 

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, hime. Like I said, I should be the one saying sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you. It was my fault." Yuzuru replied, holding Luna's chin and making her look at him.

"I don't deserve someone as perfect as you, Yuzuru. You deserve to love someone who'll last forever. Someone who can grow old with you. Someone who can give you a family. Not me. I'm so sorry for holding you back. I'm sorry for being selfish." Luna started to cry quietly as Yuzuru pulled her in for a hug, letting her cry on his chest.

"Its okay. Its not your fault. Don't be sorry. Don't worry about me. I plan on spending my forever with you. I plan on having a family with you." Yuzuru whispered, making Luna pull back from the hug and stare at him intently.

"What do you mean? You heard what the doctor said. I only have about 3 months left." 

"I love you, Luna. Words cannot even describe how much I'm deeply, truly, and utterly in love with you. Do you love me too?" Yuzuru questioned.

Luna sat there dumbfounded, not knowing where Yuzuru is going with this conversation. Nevertheless, she felt Yuzuru's sincerity emanate from him.

"Of course I do. I love you, Yuzu-kun. Just as much as you love me, probably even greater than that!" Luna exclaimed silently, careful not to wake up Sky who was just next door. She giggled a little, making Yuzu laugh at Luna's antics. Then all of a sudden, Yuzu said with a small smile while gazing at Luna's eyes,

"Then quit skating for me." 

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TA-DAAA! Chapter 24 everyone! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

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Stay safe and stag golden, my lovelies ✨