xxii

(A/N : Play the video when I tell you to hoho)

3rd Person's POV

Yuzuru, riding a wheelchair accompanied by Sky, went on their way to Luna's room a few doors away from his. Good, Yuzuru thought, I can visit her as often as I can.

Sky stopped in front of the door before knocking three times. 

Entering, Yuzuru cannot help but tear up at the vulnerable and weak state of his Luna. 

Inside the room was Coach Brian and a doctor who, it seems like, were having a hard time communicating with each other. 

Sky cleared his throat before speaking in Japanese.

"Good evening, Doctor. I'm Luna's brother, and as you may know, this is Yuzuru Hanyu, Luna's teammate. You can tell us what's happening." 

The doctor bowed and replied, "Good evening Saito-san, Hanyu-san. I would like to apologize for my lack of english vocabulary making me unable to clearly explain to Orser-san Luna's condition."

"No, no. Don't be sorry. Its not a big deal. Please go on." Sky replied.

This was it. I get to know the whole story. Yuzuru thought as the doctor started to speak once again.

"As you all know, Luna-san has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which is a condition where her heart muscles, specifically her left ventricle, contract harder and the walls of those muscles are thicker than normal. And because the walls of her heart are thick, they become stiff. Stiff heart muscles means the blood that her heart receives and pumps is reduced. So there is less blood circulating the body, thus less oxygen as well."

Everyone was listening intently, especially Yuzuru. His heart was clenching. He could not imagine how he pushed his Luna so hard during training with him with this condition. All he could do is look down and shake his head with tears slowly falling from his face. 

With no response from the listeners, the doctor continued,

"And Saito-san, you said that her doctor back in Canada gave her a a timeline?" 

"Yes, he did. A year and a half." Sky whispered.

Shock. Yuzuru and even Brian Orser was shocked. Her uncle was not made aware of ANY kind of timeline. All he knows is that she's sick and she has to take care of her heart. 

"What timeline? What does he mean Sky?" Yuzuru's head shot up, his hand tugging the sleeves of Sky's sweater. 

Silence... Sky just looked away not wanting anyone in the room to see him breakdown just like he did in front of Yuzuru. 

"It means she only had about 10 months left to live, Hanyu-san." The doctor said, looking sympathetically at the broken lad. 

Wait...

"Had? What do you mean by 'had'?" Sky said almost immediately.

"Well... It seems that she did not tell anyone. It was actually a year only. Not a year and a half."

With all the information, all Coach Brian could do was unconsciously sit on the couch. Why didn't my sister tell me about this? Did she actually allow Luna to skate even though she knew she's dying?

"There must be some kind of mistake doctor. She looked fine during training except every after continuous training which I assumed was normal for us to breathe heavily." Yuzuru said frantically.

"We called her doctor in Canada to make sure. Apparently, Luna stopped taking all the medicines that were supposed to alleviate and manage her symptoms. She decided to take only one medication that she asked to be prescribed to her in order to tame her episodes every after training and competition." The doctor explained, holding up a white medicine bottle. 

"Why didn't she get it treated then if she wanted to go back to skating so bad? I'm gonna kick this girl's ass when she wakes up." Coach Brian said, looking angry yet very worried.

"She didn't want to do it, Uncle... She was thinking of mom and dad."  Sky trailed off...

"So she really is dying..." Yuzuru said almost out of breath, still not accepting the harsh reality. 

"When would she be allowed to go back to Canada?" Sky asked. He wanted to go home as soon as possible where their parents are. After all, time is of the essence with Luna

"We'll run a few tests when she wakes up and once we confirm she's fit, she's good to go. Though as soon as you return, please do visit her cardiologist. I'll take my leave now." The doctor replied, bowed down, and went out the door. 

As soon as the doctor left, Zhenya and Javi went inside Luna's room.

"How is she?" Zhenya said, teary-eyed as she walked towards Luna's bed and held her hand. 

No one dared to reply. Tension filled the air, mostly coming from the man sitting on his wheelchair. 

"For how long did you know?" Yuzuru said gritting his teeth.

"I... It was during the training before Rostelecom Cup when she went straight backstage and Coach Brian stopped you." Zhenya looked down.

"And you, Javi?"

"It was during the Rostelecom Cup too, after the free skate. I followed her quietly because I got suspicious." Javi replied seriously.

"So, I'm the only one who's blind for not noticing that she's having a hard time? And that she's actually dying? Why didn't you tell me?!" Yuzuru finally snapped, he looked at the two in anger. disappointed at how they acted.

His voice echoed inside the quiet room, no one answering his question. Though to be honest, he had a right to be mad. Yuzuru continued,

"Did I not deserve to know?Haven't I showed her how much I care for her?! Was it not enough for everyone to at least tell me what was going on?! What did I do so wrong? Why is everyone so unfair?!" He shouted, sobbing so hard. 

"I love her..." Yuzuru whispered but loud enough for everyone to hear. As the words left Yuzuru's mouth, they felt their hearts break for the man. Once again, silence falls inside the white room with nothing to be heard but intense sobs and sniffles.

As if on cue, Zhenya felt Luna's hand twitch.

"She's waking up!" She exclaimed. 

Slowly, Luna's eyes fluttered open, squinting at the bright lights. Everyone in the room waited in anticipation as Luna sat up slowly, bringing down her oxygen mask. After a few minutes, Luna scans the faces surrounding her.

"What are you all doing here?" Luna asked blankly, her head cocked to the side in confusion.

"Are you kidding me, Luna? Is that even a question?" Zhenya asked, surprise and slight disappointment evident from her face.

"Of course we'd be here, Luna. We're all concerned about you. You gave everyone a fucking scare." Javi continued.

Luna stays quiet, Sky and Uncle Brian scanning the atmosphere of the room. Luna's eyes with Yuzuru's who was sitting on his wheelchair, ankle heavily bandaged from his injury. 

"Luna-chan..." Yuzuru said softly, struggling to stand up from his seat and walking slowly towards Luna, Javi's hand supporting him from the back in case he stumbles.

Luna sighs. "Please leave Yuzuru and I alone." Luna said emotionlessly. 

"We'll call the doctor to let him know you're awake." Sky said and everyone left the room quietly, knowing the two have a lot to talk about. They're hoping everything will be resolved between the two of you.

(A/N : Cue music!!!)

Minutes of utter silence passed by until,

"Luna-chan..."

"Let's end it here, Yuzuru." Luna said immediately, looking out the window.

"What?" 

Despite the darkness outside, Luna saw how the leaves were falling from the trees as the cold wind passed. Slowly and surely falling.

"You heard me." 

"No, I didn't. I don't want to hear it." Yuzuru said, holding her hand. Luna felt it, there's still that spark and she knows it will never leave. But she has to do this. She needs to do this.

"Let's break up, Yuzuru." Luna repeated clearly, still avoiding Yuzuru's wide eyes filled with tears.

"No. There's no breaking up. Anyway, are you feeling better? Are you tired? I can let you rest some more before we talk again because I get that you just woke-"

"NO YUZURU!" Luna finally, after days, showed emotions. Anger, pain, guilt.

Yuzuru's eyes widened at the sudden outburst but asked quietly, "Why...?"

"You have no future with me. Didn't you hear what the doctor just said? I'm dying Yuzuru! Why would anyone want to be with a dying person?!"

"Because I love you..." Yuzuru replied without hesitation. 

As Luna expected, just those three words coming from his lips makes her feel butterflies in her stomach. She wanted to smile a little from what Yuzuru just said, but she knew better.

"You don't. Its my fault you're here in the hospital. Its my fault you're injured. Its my fault everyone's suffering like this. I'm a burden to everyone and I'm tired of being one." Luna said exasperatedly. She just wanted the pain to end. 

"You're not a burden, Luna-chan. And its not your fault. Its mine. I was not careful. Okay? I should be the one who's sorry. You've been nothing but a blessing to me and for that I am forever thankful. I shouldn't have acted like a jerk. It was my own fault that I got injured. But most of all, its my fault that you're like this, that you're suffering." Yuzuru sincerely answered.

There it was. Luna wanted to hug him right there and then, tell him its okay. But she won't. She has to put an end to this. For his sake. Luna stayed quiet keeping up her blank facade, making Yuzuru continue.

"All you ever did was take care of me every single time when I should've been the one to take care of you instead. I was stupid. I was blind. I didn't pay enough attention to realize that you're suffering more than I do. I was selfish...

But Luna, I'm here to make things right. Please just let me. I'll be better. I know I don't deserve this second chance, but I still hope you give me one. I'll make this chance last a lifetime. Okay? Please" Yuzuru said as he ended his speech that was about to sweep Luna off her feet.

But Luna scoffed, "A lifetime? Very funny, Yuzuru. I'd be dead in a few months, so what's the point?" 

"Please don't say that... A lot of instances like yours defied the life expectancy that was given to them and I'm sure you can too. You're the strongest person I know and I know you won't back down easily. Its one of the reasons I fell in love with you, Luna Saito." 

"But I don't want to." Luna said firmly but softly. 

Yuzuru was taken aback, his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Luna, come on you can't be serious. This is not a joke."

"I'm not in the position to be making jokes, am I? Let's end it here. I'm tired and I just want to rest. Please leave." Luna said, her voice wavering ever so slightly, her heart quenching in pain as the words she don't want to say pour out of her mouth. 

"Luna look at me..." Yuzuru said, his gentle hand grabbing Luna's chin making her look at him. With their faces inches away from each other, it was the first time since they were alone that Luna was able to see Yuzuru's tear-stained face with red, swollen eyes. 

This is why I want to end it here. I want this to be the last time Yuzuru Hanyu cries because of me. I don;t want to cause him any more pain, especially when my time finally comes.

"Luna. Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore. Only then will I leave." Yuzuru said, slightly sniffling. His eyes bore through Luna's awaiting an answer.

After a few minutes of silence, Yuzuru spoke up,

"See, you can't, Luna-chan. That's because you lo-"

"I don't love you anymore, Yuzuru Hanyu. I regret ever crossing paths with you." Luna said, looking directly at Yuzuru's widened eyes. Though she tried to hold it in, tears started to fall from her eyes. One, two, three. Uncontrollably, they continued falling.

Crack. Crack. Crack. There goes Luna's heart breaking into pieces. No Yuzuru. I love you, please stay. I need you with me. I'm scared. I'm lying...

Yuzuru's hands fell slowly from Luna's face back to his sides. He took one step back. And another. And another. As if everything was in slow motion. He wanted to say something. Anything.

But the immense pain he's feeling is not letting him do so. He felt his back against the door as he was limping towards it. 

"Okay. I'm sorry Luna. I love you. Good bye."

Yuzuru took one final glance at Luna, the last image he would remember would be her face filled with tears and her words that pierced through his heart. 

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Yaaaaay Chapter 22!!!

I apologize in advance if there are any inconsistencies with the previous chapters because honestly, I'm just winging this but I'm doing the best I can to deliver maximum feels for you guys HAHAHA.

I'm absolutely in love with Taeyon's Fine. The first time I listened to it, just goosebumps. I recommend you read the english lyrics after or even before you read the chapter :)))

Stay safe and stay golden, my lovelies! ✨