Chapter Thirty

  TW: Su*cide, R*pe

Coughing harshly into the collar of his shirt, the young man looked at himself through the mirror that sat against the wall of his bathroom. It was almost five in the afternoon, and his son rested a few feet away, taking his daily nap, before he dropped him off to his grandparents. Running his painted fingers through his jet black hair, he tied it back with one of his wife's hair ties that sat around his wrist, and splashed the cold water into his face, to try and appear less lifeless, so that she wouldn't worry too much.

The twenty four years of his life were coming to an end, because of the terminal illness that he was diagnosed with at the mere age of eighteen, and instead of trying to fight it; Itachi welcomed death, knowing that his brother would accept it as a means of atonement.

In the last six years, he had married the only woman he ever loved, and had a child that resembled his younger brother. Though his brother rightfully hated him, he never stopped caring for him.

After the death of his parents, Itachi was forced to flee the city, but he made sure that his brother was safe at the doorstep of a local fire station, and away from the brutal scene he had left behind. Even now, an entire decade later, Itachi still kept tabs on his younger brother, and made sure that he was always relatively safe.

He had eyes everywhere, and whenever he knew Sasuke was walking into trouble he tried to prevent it, but things changed since he had met Naruto. Itachi also knew that he had been searching endlessly for him, even when he was in plain sight.

Though he knew he'd never get the chance to thank Naruto, or Sakura for ultimately being the reason for his brother being alive, and healthy, he would've if he could. Naruto hated him just as much as Sasuke, while Sakura did to a certain extent, but not to the point where she thought he deserved death.

Itachi was leaving behind a child, and a family that loved him dearly, but even he felt like he deserved it. He tore his parents away from his younger brother, making his brother an orphan, and though he had his reasons for doing so, he knew that there was no way he could possibly repay his brother for the years of suffering he endured.

"Hi, Meiko." Itachi said to the toddler with a smile as he stood in the doorway of his bathroom. The child smiled brightly, while rubbing his eyes, "Papa, when can we see Mama?" Leaning down, he looked into the child's eyes, seeing sheer innocence that resembled the way his uncle's eyes used to look.

"Go find your shoes, and we'll leave right now." With a nod of his head, he was off to find his shoes in his bedroom, Itachi's smile stayed in tact as he held onto the door frame for stability, and he slowly got up from his squatted position.

His son was only four, and his parents decided not to tell him about the respiratory illness that plagued his father, because they didn't know how to explain to a toddler that his father was dying. Truthfully they tried to avoid talking about it in general, because just the thought of her husband dying made Izumi sick to her stomach.

When they were fourteen, he left her alone with the promise that he'd be back for her, and five years later he did just that. She accepted him with open arms, and once he told her that he was dying in less than a decade, she was determined to make his life fulfilling. So she had their child, and did all she could to be the best wife imaginable.

Truthfully, Izumi made his life worth while, and he told her that constantly. Even after five years of marriage, she refused to believe the reality that her husband, the love of her life, was dying a slow, painful death at the hands of an incurable respiratory disease.

There were nights where she stayed up with him, refusing to sleep as he coughed aggressively, while breathing with the help of his portable nebulizer machine. He recalled too many nights where she held the device to his mouth, while holding his body close to her's, fearing that he would drift away without her having the chance to say how much she loved him.

"I'm ready, Papa!" His son called out, while walking toward his parents bedroom. He had a jacket on, and his favorite pair of shoes, only he was oblivious to the fact that his shoes were on the wrong feet, and his jacket was inside out. "How did you do that, Buddy?" Itachi asked with a chuckle leaving his lips, while picking his son up into his arms, and sitting him on top of the made bed.

"Do what?" Meiko asked with a pout on his cherubic face. "Papa?" "Yes?" He responded, knowing exactly what was coming next, as he kneeled in front of him. "How are you today?" A smile came to Itachi's face as he fixed the child's shoes. "Good, how are you?" Meiko smiled brightly, "Good, Papa."

Every day the child asked him the same question, before following it with, "I love you." He cutely pronounced it, "I lobe you," But his father still smiled because he knew his heart was in the right place. "I love you too, Buddy." He said while unzipping his jacket, and fixing it for him. As he looked down to turn the jacket the right way, he felt as his tiny fingers poked his forehead.

  The expression made him look at his son, with his head cutely tilted to the side, as a blush sat against his chubby cheeks. "Did Mommy tell you what that means?" He nodded with a smile, and he chuckled, leaning forward and kissing his chubby face.

  The hardest part of knowing he had to leave soon, was the fact that he would be leaving his beautiful son behind. He was only four, and his father's biggest fear was that he'd forget about him. Itachi was the only man Izumi had ever loved, and though he told her not to put her love life on hold for him, he hoped that she would. "Let's go, Buddy."

Holding his son in his arms, Itachi walked out of his home, making sure to lock the doors in the process, and went to his grey sedan that sat in the driveway. Buckling his son into the booster seat, with his favorite stuffed animal in his hand, he went around to the drivers side, and he noticed the car that had been just outside of his neighborhood since last night.

He recognized the car as his brother's, and he knew he was running on borrowed time, but he didn't stress over his presence, because he knew he wouldn't do anything with his nephew in the backseat.

Though Sasuke told his girlfriend that he was over the vendetta he had against his elder brother, as he saw him appearing to be so happy with the new life he had built, he felt pure resentment and anger. Unintentionally he was gripping his steering wheel, and as he looked at his knuckles that had began to turn white, he let go with a deep sigh leaving his lips. He knew that he had to calm down if he wanted to get through a conversation with him.

Shaking his head, he decided to sit back in his seat, and wait for his brother to return to his home. He had been watching him for the last two days, since he left just an hour before Hinata's birthday, and he saw how around noon he took his son off to his in-laws, then returned home for an hour or so, before his family returned home to him.

With a deep sigh leaving his lips, he watched Itachi drive off in the other direction, before looking down at his phone, to see that it had only one bar of reception. He talked to Sakura constantly throughout the last two days, and he wasn't too worried about her, because Naruto ensured him that she was fine, but he still text her periodically throughout the day to see how she was.

After the text sent, he waited almost twenty minutes before he saw her sleeping face pop up on his phone screen, and it brought a small smile to his face. "Hello?" She asked him, while standing in front of her window, looking out to the gloomy sky as snow fell in the city of Konoha. "Hey, how are you doing?"

A smile came to her face as she heard his voice. "I'm okay, how are you?" She answered, and she wasn't sure if she meant it or not. Since talking to Naruto, she hadn't gotten any better, but also hadn't worsened.

"I'm okay, have you gotten any sleep?" He asked her, hoping that she'd tell him the truth. She shrugged her shoulders, and looked away from her window, to her mirror that sat in the corner of her room. "Kind of? I slept most of this morning actually. How about you?" He could tell she was lying just by the tone in her voice. "I know when you're lying, Sakura." She rolled her eyes while checking herself out in the mirror, "And you didn't answer my question."

"Are you still having those nightmares?" He asked her, making her sigh deeply while sitting on the small ottoman that sat in front of her vanity. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"Just be honest with me, Sakura." He said in a soothing tone, making her take a deep breathe to try and keep from crying. It seemed like all she had been doing lately, and it made her feel weak; Especially now, because her boyfriend was in a city that was two hours away, and she made him worry. "Yeah, I had one last night, a-and I woke up crying, but I just ended up crawling into bed with my mom."

What she said was partially true, but she left out the part where she took one of the thirty unprescribed antidepressant pills in her cabinet. "I'm sorry you're still going through this stuff, Sakura. I'll be home tonight." A blush came to her face as she asked, "Home?"

"Yeah, I'll be home to you." He clarified, making her smile stupidly. "Unless you need me there sooner, just say the word, Sakura." She shook her head, "N-no don't worry about me, I'm going to spend some time with my mom tonight anyways. I'll see you later, okay? Please stay safe, Sasuke." "I will, Sakura."

"I love you, Sasuke." She said with a tear falling from her left eye, as she saw the pill bottle sitting on her nightstand. It seemed to be haunting her, but this time it was different than before. She used to just take them to clear her mind, or allow her to get some sleep, but now she wanted to take them all, and fall unconscious before drifting away in her sleep.

Like her father, she wanted to peacefully die in her sleep, because she didn't want to leave a mess for her mother. "I love you, Sakura." He said to her, only she didn't hear him, as her thoughts were beginning to take control of her.

As he noticed her sudden silence, he parted his lips to ask her if she was okay, before he saw Itachi's car start to turn into his neighborhood,"Shit I gotta go, Sakura." Hanging up, he shoved his phone into his pocket, and shrugged his black backpack onto his back, before getting out of his car.

With his hoodie covering his face, Sasuke stalked toward his brother's home, and though he thought he was remaining undetected, his brother waited for him in his dining room, with a cup of water in his hand.

Hearing the familiar clicking of a gun being cocked, before feeling the cold metal pressed against the back of his head, Itachi just sighed. "It's nice to see you too, Little brother." Itachi said to him, feeling the way his hand shook as he held him at gun point. "I've dreamt of this for the past decade." Sasuke admitted to him, debating with himself for a moment. It would all be over with. I could finally move on.

When Itachi violently began to cough into the cloth in his hand, Sasuke noticed the blood that stained it, and Itachi felt his confused gaze.  "If you sit down, we can have a conversation." He stated, and Sasuke reluctantly put the gun down. Sitting across from his brother, he looked him into his onyx eyes, that were practically identical to his own.

"You probably want to know why Danzo has been paying me." As he parted his lips to ask how he knew that, Itachi asked, "Before I answer your questions, I want you to answer mine." "You don't get to ask me questions."

"That's fair. Well, for starters, when we were kids in that town, our father and Danzo had a little dispute over the land that we owned." As his brother explained his involvement with Danzo, Sasuke tried his best to remain calm under his watchful gaze.

"Simply put, Danzo felt threatened, and I'm sure you know that you know by now, that when he feel threatened, he deals with it." Sasuke's eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "What are you saying?" His question was met with violent coughing, Sasuke wasn't sure what to do as he watched him struggle to breathe.

A part of him wanted to help him, but the other part enjoyed watching him suffer. When his brother eventually caught his breath, he answered his question. "I-I'm saying that when I was fourteen, Danzo threatened our family. He came to me one day when I was walking home from school, and he informed me of the conflict. I know he's raised you like a son, but he's a horrible man, Sasuke."

He rolled his onyx eyes, "You're giving me a lecture on horribl-" Itachi cut him off by raising his hand to silence him. "He asked me if I wanted my baby brother to be kidnapped, beaten, and mutilated, before your remains would be sent to our home."

Sasuke shut up for a moment, because he knew what Danzo was capable of. "You're lying." He said in disbelief, making Itachi attempt to sigh at his brother's ignorance, only to cough so violently that he fell over from his sudden light headedness.

Before he could fall to the hard tiled floor, Sasuke caught him in his arms. "W-what do you need?" He asked him, seeming to forget about his anger for a moment. "J-just help me up."

Doing as he said, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders, and held him up while walking toward his couch. The cushion gave some support to his aching back, and for a moment he felt okay. "Thank you." Ignoring him, Sasuke said, "Continue."

A small smile came to Itachi's face, "W-when he asked me that, I asked if there was anything I could've done to make sure that you were okay, and he told me what I had to do." Sasuke shook his head in disbelief, "You didn't have to do that." He said in a tone hardly louder than a whisper. "I-I did, Sasuke."

"B-but that doesn't make any fucking sense, Itachi. You left me alone, you made me a fucking orphan." Itachi saw the pain in his brother's face, and it broke his already aching heart, that was slowing by the second.

"The only reason I did it was because he promised me that you would be okay." Him saying that made Sasuke explode with rage, "I had to join a fucking gang, Itachi! Why didn't you just let our parents take care of it?" He shook his head at the thought of that, "I tried to." He spoke honestly, making Sasuke stand up from his seat, "You're a liar, Itachi."

"You were too young to realize it.....but Sasuke, our father would've willingly had your head sent to us on a plater, for the sake of his pride. I-I had to protect you, because no one else would do it." His words brought tears to his onyx eyes, "You're a piece of shit, Itachi. You left me alone to join a gang, and be a fucking mule for this man for an entire decade, while you just watched? You've known where I've been this entire time, and here you are with an entire fucking family, while I have to learn to live with the shit you left behind! I hate you."

Sasuke had began to pace the room, while Itachi could feel his body weakening by the minute. He continually coughed aggressively while his brother expressed how upset he was. Using the strength he had left, he lifted himself off of the couch, and managed to walk toward his brother. With tears in his eyes, he subconsciously took steps back, until his back met the cold dry wall.

"W-what are you doing?" Seeing him struggle to walk strangely broke his heart, and as he saw the blood begin to leak from his mouth, his eyes widened. Before he could comprehend that he was asphyxiating, he was put into a state of absolute shock, and felt his knees grow weak. "Sasuke... you don't have to forgive me. But you must know that... no matter what, I will love you always." Itachi managed to get out, as he lifted his arm, making Sasuke gently flinch, before he brought his hand to his face.

With his index and middle finger gently pressed against his brother's forehead, he gave him a genuine smile, and said the words that Sasuke had longed to hear since he was a child. "I'm sorry." Immediately, Sasuke was overwhelmed with suppressed memories he had of his brother, and a sense of nostalgia washed over him.

He didn't remember much of his childhood, but everything he did remember involved his brother. His older brother had always been his protector from everything, and as he stood there in front of him, he realized that had never changed.

Though his eyes were full of tears, he couldn't let them fall as his brother laid on the floor next to him, dying because he couldn't breathe. "Itachi, w-what should I do?" He asked him, while holding his brother in his arms, as he took his final breaths. Sasuke watched his expression as he struggled to breathe, but looked up to his younger brother with a smile on his face. It broke Sasuke's heart as he sat there, unable to do anything.

While his brother laid there, dying in his arms, his girlfriend was in Konoha, practically begging to die in her bedroom. Since talking to Sasuke just two hours ago, she had fallen victim to her own thoughts, and just as she reached for her phone to call Hinata or Ino for help, she was met with Sasori's voice, as she answered a blocked number. After his altercation with Sasuke, he apparently still didn't take the hint, especially not when Sakura asked him to bring her a bottle of an incredibly strong drug.

When she opened her front door to him, she fell back into old habits, and she was too high to even think about her boyfriend who would be effected by everything she did tonight. Her night had gone by fast, and before she knew it she was downing a glass of wine, with two pill bottles sitting on her nightstand.

Sasori had left over an hour ago, and her high began to wear off as soon as his calloused hand started to caress her thigh. Like before, he didn't stop when she asked him to, and just like before, she was left feeling utterly disgusted by herself.

Unlike before, her mother wasn't there to interrupt them, and as Sakura laid there, with her face against her pillow, she couldn't stop herself from letting her tears fall. She was on her stomach, almost forgetting how to breathe as she tried to convince herself that what was happening didn't matter. I got myself into this. She kept repeating to herself, after she told him to stop over a dozen times, and he proceeded as if he suddenly couldn't hear a word she was saying.

Granted they were both high on an antidepressant, Sakura thought it was enough to allow her to push him off, but the minute his hands took hold of her wrist, she was stuck. So as she laid there, with clear tears soaking her satin pillow case, she began to fantasize how death would feel. She hoped that it welcomed her with ease; That she would simply close her eyelids, and be unable to ever wake up again. The only thing on her mind was the fact that when the boy inside of her left her home, she'd be dead, and wouldn't have to remember the way he made her feel.

The moment he left, she closed and locked her front door, before walking to the kitchen where she grabbed a bottle of wine from her mother's collection. Pouring some into a glass, she drank it while walking up her staircase to her room. The alcohol combined with the effects of the antidepressant, instantly made her feel numb all over, only this time that wasn't enough.

Sitting on her bed, she picked up the two bottles of medication, and stared at them with tears in her eyes, reading the caution label intently. When she poured ten antidepressant pills into her hand, alongside five of the painkillers, she stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, contemplating the next moves she would make.

She wasn't a wreck, she wasn't even allowing her tears to fall anymore, she was just ready to leave her world behind. Without thinking of anything else, she let her head fall back, and parted her lips as her hand poured the pills into her mouth, before bringing the glass of red wine to her lips.

As soon as she felt them going down her throat, she thought of Sasuke. "My love." She said aloud with a small smile, thinking about his precious smile. Reaching for her phone, the effects of the drugs seemed to be almost immediate, as she unlocked her phone, and called him. When it went to voicemail, she left him a heartfelt message, as the world around her seemed to slow down.

"Oh Sasuke, my love. I've made some horrible decisions tonight, a-and I don't know when I'll see you again, I-If I'll see you again. But I want you to know that I love you, and you are the greatest thing to have ever ever happened to me......I know I told you I couldn't ever.....live with-without you, but!"

Her speech was slurred as her body fell against her bed, and she was seconds away from unconsciousness. The opioid was beginning to effect her, as she struggled to remind herself to breathe through her parted lips. "But, I think I could.....I just never want to, because you are the love of my life, a-and after everything I did tonight, I just hope.....I hope you can forgive.."

The phone continued to record her voice, as she dropped it on the pillow next to her, before she regurgitated on herself, and started to asphyxiate. Since she was on her back, she started to suffocate, and before she could do anything about it, she was unconscious from the lack of oxygen flow.