Confessions

"Winter!" Bret's voice pulled me from the blank slate that had been my brain for the passed couple of hours.

I realized now that I had been staring out of the kitchen window, scrubbing the same plate for the passed ten minutes. I turned to see Bret was giving me a concerned frown, looking between the squeaky clean dish and myself.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" He asked softly. His tone told me that he was concerned, but his eyes told me that he thought I was going insane. And maybe I was.

The overwhelming sense of guilt that I felt for cheating on Bret had been growing into a monster since Bret had finally woken up from the coma he had been in. Even worse was the knowledge of how only hours before, Nikki and I had been making out.

God, I missed Nikki.

"Winter?"

I locked eyes with him, my fear growing when I realized that I still hadn't responded to his question. He had to know that something was wrong with me now, right? Could he guess what it was? What I had done?

My hands were trembling, causing the plate to crash land into the sink in front of me, shattering into pieces.

"Winter, you're crying!"

Was I crying? I hadn't noticed. I dabbed a finger just below my eye, pulling it back and seeing the clear liquid glide down the length of my finger and nestling between my knuckles. Huh.

Bret was struggling to stand from his wheelchair, and that was when I finally found the courage to speak.

"Don't!" I ordered, my voice coming out much louder than I had intended. My command echoed throughout the kitchen, causing Bret to stop in his tracks and gaze after me, shocked and confused.

"I-I'm fine," I stammered, turning away from him and beginning to pick up the pieces of the shattered china.

But I knew that the jig was up. I was acting so irrationally at this point, even a blind man could see that I wasn't in my right mind at the moment. I could feel Bret's intense stare piercing holes into my back, practically crippling me with the intensity of his gaze.

"Winter," I flinched at the tone of his voice. He was trying so hard to sound strong, unwavering, and yet his voice cracked at every syllable. "What is going on?"

I gripped at the counter for support as my whole world came crumbling down around me. My heart was leaping against my ribs, threatening to tear a hole through my chest and run miles and miles away from here. I wanted to go with it. I didn't want to stick around for the consequences. I wanted to be somewhere far away, preferably with Nikki. I didn't want to see what my infidelity could do to Bret. I didn't want to see him hurt.

But I owed him this much. I owed it to him to tell him what had happened and to allow him to react. Not only would it be cowardly, but it would be absolutely heartless to run away now. And besides, how could I do that to CC? How horrible would it be to ruin their friendship even more by having CC admit to Bret that he knew all along, but waited to let him in on the news?

No. It would suck, and it would hurt, but I had to be the bad guy here. And, if I wanted to be with Nikki, I had to do it now. Because, as much as I hated to admit it, Nikki was right. I would much rather skip the fighting and keep Bret happy by staying with him. I was a people pleaser and, if that meant staying with a man who I didn't really love just to keep him from crying, I normally would. So I had to do this quick. Just rip it off, like a band aid.

On top of everything, there was also the fact that I had never dumped anyone before. They either ran from me when the curse injured them, or were killed before the relationship could end. Hell, even when Nikki was my fake boyfriend, he was the one who did the dumping.

I had no idea what the etiquette was for stuff like this? Do I apologize? Do I use the ol' "it's not you, it's me" excuse like I'd seen in the movies? How did I know when I'd be getting my stuff back? What stuff would he ask to take back from me?

Whatever the case, I was about to find out real soon.

"Bret, I have got to tell you something," I mumbled as I hunched over into the sink.

"Okay..." He sounded doubtful. Scared, even.

"It's something you're not going to like," I stalled, biting at my lip.

"Okay...."

I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut and parting my lips.

"Bret, I-"

"You found out about me and Sarah, didn't you?"

I stopped in my tracks, my eyes bulging as I finally turned to face him. His head was lowered so that I couldn't see his face and he was playing with a string that hung from a frayed part of his jeans. I stared after him in shock.

"Look, I didn't set out to hurt you, you know," he continued, still unable to look at me. "I wanted to love you, I really did. But Sarah...something about her is just so...captivating."

I quirked an eye brow. Was he sure he was talking about the right Sarah? My Sarah? The uptight, stressed out assistant that always wore her hair in a high ponytail? That Sarah? Because that Sarah was about as captivating as dead grass.

But I had him now! I couldn't believe my luck! I had a reason to escape this relationship unscathed! Even better, if I did tell him about me and Nik, I had dirt on him to even the score.

Some part of me knew I should feel hurt, or some sort of pain of betrayal. But I didn't. Because I had Nikki to escape to, and Nikki was the one who made me happy. Infinitely more happy than Bret ever could.

But still, this wasn't over. And if I wanted to get away with this and help Bret save some face, I'd have to play pretend. I quickly got into my role: arms over chest, eye brows furrowed, lip bit, and chest heaving. Good. Things were running smoothly.

"I can't believe you would do such a thing!" I cried out, stomping my foot.

"It was just once...twice, maybe..."

I fought back a smile as I allowed my mouth to fall open in shock. "Twice 'maybe'?"

"I was really drunk..." He murmured sheepishly.

A strange sensation trickled through me. One of pure joy that I knew I shouldn't be feeling in this moment, and yet, I did. And boy, was I feeling it strongly. I was overcome with a giddy and sickeningly evil sense of bliss. I had him. Now, for the cherry on top....

"Well, 'maybe' I fucked Nikki Sixx once...or twice...or three times...."

A deafening silence came between us, and I tried my hardest to choke back my laughter. I knew that the feeling of glee in my heart right now was so wrong, so perverse, but it still came. It lifted my spirits higher and higher, almost to intoxicating levels.

I waited with a heightened sense of impatience for his response, ready to just get this over with so that I could go running back to Nikki. Of course, it was never that easy.

"I was joking."

My heart dragged my stomach down with it as it dropped into my feet, splashing and turning into mush upon impact. Mush that was now threatening to climb back up my throat and spew everywhere.

"W-what?" I stammered, my eyes growing wide.

"I was fucking joking! Winter, what the fuck? Is this how you treat me? I stroke out and you go running back to your ex?" He was yelling at me, practically screaming at this point, and yet I was still finding it difficult to register his words.

He had been joking? How had I not seen that? How could I be so blind? Of course he had been joking! Like I'd said before, Sarah was not the type of gal that men gravitated towards. Especially not a rockstar.

"Why would you joke about that?" I demanded, still in shock.

"I didn't think you had cheated on me! I thought you were sad because I'm in a wheelchair and you missed me! You know? Like a good girlfriend!"

I winced as his words cut me like a knife.

"I thought making a joke would show you I'm not totally broken and that I still have a sense of humor. I was trying to cheer you up after I almost died!" He snapped.

At this point, I absolutely hated myself. I also decided that I somewhat hated Nikki, which was unfair. Although he came to me and encouraged me to be with him, I was the one who decided to cheat. I could have said no and waited until Bret was awake and well to leave him.

Then again, even that may or may not have been out of my control. If the curse was real, I had to sleep with Nikki to save Bret's life. And, while there had been no guarantee that the curse was legitimate, it was too convincing in my past relationships to ignore.

I snapped back to attention as Bret tried to stand from his chair. He was supposed to be getting rest, not to be getting up and walking around. I instinctively reached out to help him, but he slapped at the air between us and grunted.

"Don't fucking touch me, bitch," he growled.

"Bret, please..." I cried, my eye brows knitting with worry. "You're not supposed to be walking around!"

"I don't give a fuck. I can't even look at you right now."

He turned and began stumbling away down the hall. I watched him go with tears in my eyes.

"Bret, where are you going?" I called after him.

"I'm going to bed. And you're fucking leaving."