Mistake

"Weed. You guys scared the shit out of me, forced me to steal old ladies' wheel chairs, and kept the duffel bag from me all day for weed."

I said it as more of a statement than a question. The group of men didn't seem fazed by my annoyance, and instead smiled and nodded as I spoke. They actually appeared to be quite pleased with themselves, and in fact were eager to see my reaction as they had unzipped the bag. Earlier, I had been just as eager to finally see my surprise. But now, I couldn't care less about the bags upon bags of herb that awaited me in the duffle. I hadn't smoked weed in my entire life, and I wasn't so sure about doing it now.

"Hell yeah! The key to true happiness!" Tommy finally broke the silence.

"And, we've got all the different options!" Nikki added, motioning his hand over some square papers and what looked like a glass vase of some sort. "Bongs, joints, and we can even make some edibles if you'd like."

I stared at them in disbelief. I knew that they did drugs, that was one of the main reasons I'd gone to them in the first place and sure, it could be worse. They could be inviting me to try some hardcore drugs like cocaine and heroine. But still, a part of me was nervous about trying something new. Especially if it was a drug that would possibly alter my mind. Would I trip? Would I cough up a lung? What if I turned into a total idiot? My mind was racing as Nikki began to roll nuggets of weed in tube of paper.

"Here, I'll start on a joint and Tommy will set up the bong. I don't know which you prefer, so we'll just get them all ready for ya'," Nikki murmured, fixated on the roll of paper in his fingers.

Did he think I'd done this before? If he did, I didn't feel the need to correct him. For some reason, I didn't want to seem like the naive and boring fashion model with the stick up her ass. After all, it was embarassing enough admitting to Nikki that I'd never been naked with a guy. I didn't want to admit I'd never tried weed before.

Not tonight. Not after all of the horrid pranks the band kept pulling on me. Tonight, I would revert back to the old Winter, the one they'd first met. I would be fearless and sexy. It was just pot. Pretty much everyone I knew smoked it, or had smoked it at some point. Surely it wouldn't hurt if I were to try it as well, and it definitely wouldn't hurt if the Crüe didn't know that this was my first time.

Looking between Nikki and Tommy as they busied themselves with the piles of weed, I began weighing my options. Although the bong was pretty and made of glass, it looked a lot more complicated than the humble joint. I didn't want to grab the bong and make a fool of myself when they realized that I had no clue how to use it. I figured it'd be safer to stick with the joint, which looked like a clumsily made cigarette. Hopefully, that meant it worked the same way as well.

"Alright. First bomber of the night. Who wants it?" Nikki addressed the entire room, but his sly smile was aimed directly at me. He held the joint in his hand, and held his gaze on me.

"Ladies first," Mick murmured from beside me, softly leaning back into the couch we were seated on. Unlike the rest of the guys, he didn't seem too interested in all of the marijuana we had scored from the hospital. If anything, he seemed more interested in the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

"For sure. Winter needs to go first. We haven't seen her fucked up yet," Vince agreed, also leaning back in his chair.

I forced a smile as Nikki's hand swept forward, dangling the joint just inches away from me.

"Are you guys sure? I lost the race," I pointed out, slightly hopeful that I could buy myself some time. I was still a little anxious about trying pot.

"Go ahead, Winnie," Nikki urged me with a nod and a grin. "You've earned it, putting up with all of our shit today. Go on. Take a load off."

The rest of the Crüe chuckled and nodded in agreement. The sudden surge of acceptance and kindness that I felt emenating from the band left me speechless and with a goofy smile on my face. The worry I'd felt earlier over my reaction to weed seemed to melt away the longer I could see Nikki smirking at me.

With a sheepish smile, I accepted the joint from Nikki's outstretched hand and brought it to my mouth.

"You got a light?" I asked softly.

As the night progressed, the joint had been passed around until the group had finished it off. Before the first joint had even died, Nikki rushed to make a second one for us to share. While Nikki, Mick, and I focused mainly on the ace, Tommy and Vince were slumped over the bong on the floor. Smoke had filled the room, and I had long since lost count of how many hits I'd taken. Was I even high? I didn't feel any different. What had I been so scared of?

I felt a light nudge on my shoulder and looked over to see Mick, his fingers grasping the joint as he held it out to me. I lightly plucked it from him and took another hit, still not feeling much different.

"I'm gonna' get a glass of water," I muttered, slightly disappointed that I wasn't high like I'd thought I'd be. Alcohol had effected me more than this, and alcohol hadn't been half as nerve racking to try as weed had been. Funny how that was.

"Bring me some too, would ya'?" Nikki asked, taking the joint from me before I got up to leave.

As I stood up and headed towards the kitchen, I had to maneuver around Vince and Tommy, who were now laughing hysterically on the floor over something Tommy had said a few seconds prior. I smiled at their antics and continued on my way.

Once I reached the kitchen, I grabbed a couple of glasses of water from the cabinet and flipped on the faucet, letting it run for a moment to ensure that the water had enough time to cool down. As I waited, my eyes wandered over to the stainless steel fridge, which seemed to shine even more than usual. It seemed as though it was like a beacon of light, trying to catch my attention and usher me towards paradise. I couldn't help but to follow.

As I stepped forward, my hand jumped out and slid along the smooth, cool surface of the fridge. I allowed my fingers to trail along its surface until they reached the handle, which jut out at me, begging to be grasped. I gladly obliged, tugging open the door and squinting as the light poured out of the fridge and engulfed me.

I blinked furiously, trying desperately to regain my eye sight. When my pupils had finally shifted enough to adapt to the sudden flow of light coming from the fridge, I found myself amazed by the smorgasbord of food that seemed to stretch for miles. I didn't realize that Nikki kept his house so well stocked on food!

I saw strawberries that seemed to be bursting with juices, oranges that looked like little suns, soda bottles that bubbled like sugary volcanos, pudding cups that had swirls of vanilla and chocolate....

I turned slightly to my left and noticed that there was a thinner door beside this one. A door that, I figured, led to the freezer. Without missing a beat, I pulled this door open as well and was equally impressed with what I found residing behind it.

Mountains of different flavors of ice cream: Rockie Road, Scooperman, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Blue Moon, Birthday Cake...Even flavors I normally hated suddenly seemed mouth watering to me; Mint Chocolate Chip, Cherry Chip, Neopolitan, Strawberry....

I felt a sense of joy beginning to bubble up inside of my chest, and I couldn't help but giggle excitedly to myself. Laughing maniacally, I began scooping piles of food into my arms from both the freezer and the fridge and began moving them all to the island in the center of the kitchen, where I would get the chance to eat all of it.

"This oughtta' do it," I stated proudly, staring down at the counter top where I'd emptied pretty much all of Nikki's fridge. Salivating just looking at all of the food, I hurriedly got to work on eating it all.

"Did you leave this water running the whole time?"

Nikki's voice interrupted my snacking and I looked up just in time to see him bound over to the sink and shut off the water.

Had I left it running? I didn't mean to! It's just that the food distracted me!

I wanted to tell Nikki this and hope that he wouldn't be too angry with me, but my mouth was entirely full of mint ice cream at the moment. I'd found bottles of chocolate syrup and caramel and had gone to town drizzling both over each tub of ice cream. Now, I was busy enjoying the fruits of my labor, and Nikki was interrupting.

"Oh my God!" Nikki chuckled when he turned to me and saw all of the food I had laid out. He lifted a hand over his laughing mouth in shock. "Winnie! What're you doing?"

"Eatin'," I commented with a shrug once I'd finally swallowed the ice cream. I dipped my spoon into the tub of blue moon, watching as the strings of caramel and chocolate dripped from my spoon as I brought it to my lips.

"No! You can't eat all this!" He scolded me, obviously fighting to hold back the wide grin he had. "You have a photoshoot coming up!"

He went to snatch the spoon from my hand, but I quickly maneuvered it away from his hand and stuffed it into my mouth. I gave him a dirty look for trying to steal my food.

"Stop limiting me!" I whined like a child, my sticky lips puckering into a pout.

"Hey, these are your rules, darlin'. Not mine. You don't eat ice cream before a photoshoot," he pressed.

I watched in horror as he plucked up my spoon and tossed it over his shoulder and into the kitchen sink. He then turned and began busying himself by putting the lids on top of the cartons of ice cream, setting them altogether in one giant pile and stuffing them back into the freezer.

As he closed the door, my eyes remained fixated on the freezer, staring longingly after my delicious, frozen treats. He had taken them from me...and they were so scrumptious too! Why hadn't food tasted this amazing before? It should always taste this great!

The soft touch of a hand on the nape of my neck pulled me from my thoughts and back down to earth. The hand turned my head slightly until I was now staring into Nikki's eyes. My mind soon forgot all about the food in the freezer and began focusing instead on the attractive man gazing down at me.

Although I'd looked at Nikki before, it felt as though I was actually seeing him for the first time in my life. I found myself noticing other things about him; smaller, more subtle things. Rather than take in his bush of black hair, I was noticing each individual spike that seemed to be tousled to perfection. Looking at his eyes, I didn't just notice how green they were, as I was too busy taking in the speckles of blue and gold that danced in his iris. His lips appeared fuller and pinker, and every curve jump out at me. I was busy inspecting every little bump and curl on the bridge of his nose when it suddenly hit me.

I liked this guy.

Despite all of the bullshit and childish antics, I genuinely adored this man standing in front of me. I knew that he was my fake boyfriend, that I wasn't supposed to fall for him, but I couldn't help myself. I was falling, and I was falling hard. I couldn't help but hope that maybe he felt the same way, but it was hard to tell. Especially since I was currently losing my mind over Nikki, yet he appeared to just be smiling at me contentedly. It didn't look like he was having an epiphany like I was.

Nevertheless, a feeling began to make its way through me, surging through my limbs and urging me forward, towards Nikki. I wanted to be close to him. As close to him as humanly possible.

I stepped forward and crashed into him full force, planting my lips against his as I snaked my arms around his waist. At first, he seemed to tense up at the sudden impact of my body against his, but my kiss seemed to melt him and he was soon kissing me back. It wasn't intense and feverish like I'd kind of hoped it would be. If anything, it was deep and slow and only made me want him more.

My arms squeezed him tighter, and I felt like an anaconda wrapped around its prey. No matter how hard I hugged him, I still wanted to be closer to him. I needed it.

An idea suddenly popped into my mind. It told me that the only possible way I could get closer to Nikki was if we had sex. Normally, this thought would never cross my mind. It was far too soon for me to just hop into bed with Nikki, who I wasn't even formally dating. But, my mind was insisting on it as the kiss grew longer and I could feel his crotch hardening against me. I knew that I wanted him, that I needed him. I'd already tried weed, maybe it would be okay to try sex too.

I abruptly pulled away from Nikki, and I watched as his face went from breathless and horny to defeated and sad. That is, until I silently tugged off my shirt, revealing my lacy black bra to him.

"Winter, what're you doing?" He choked out, his voice shaky as he took in the image of my half naked torso.

"I want you, Nikki," I admitted, latching onto him and kissing him some more.

This time, he was the one squeezing me tighter. His hands began to roam my body. First starting at my hair, where he combed and tugged as his kissing grew more passionate. His palms then began trailing down my body, lightly rubbing my neck and my shoulders before stopping at the clasp on my bra.

"You're beautiful, Winter," he whispered against my lips. "I've wanted you for so long."

Just as he was fumbling with the clasp, we heard footsteps creaking on the wooden floor near us. Our session came to an immediate halt as we turned our heads to see Tommy grinning mischievously at the both of us.

I knew that this was bad, and that I should be embarassed, but I didn't freak out or rush to cover my top half like I normally would've. Maybe it was the pot, but I just didn't feel all that mortified about Tommy walking in on us. If anything, I was slightly disappointed that he'd interrupted.

"I didn't realize that the party was really in here!" Tommy teased giving us a wink. "Can I join?"

"Tommy!" Nikki groaned, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck in defeat. I didn't blame him. He'd just gotten cock blocked by his best friend.

"Okay, okay! I get it! It's a VIP party! I'll just be on my way out now..."

Tommy made it a point to stare at us with a knowing smile as he tip toed out of the room, leaving us alone once more.

"I'm sorry about that," Nikki murmured, his breath tickling my neck as he spoke. "Can we...? Is it okay?"

He didn't have to say it. I knew what he wanted, but the moment seemed to have passed now that Tommy had walked in on us. Now, I was more interested in going back out to the band and chatting with them. I didn't want Tommy spreading the word that Nikki and I were preparing to bang in the kitchen. I didn't want the guys to think less of me, and I didn't want to be alone with Nikki anymore. Not now. Not while there was this air of sexual tension between us.

Maybe it was a good thing Tommy had interrupted. Maybe I was about to make a huge mistake. After all, who was to say that this wasn't just the weed talking and, tomorrow, I'd be back to hating Nikki like I always did? If I was going to have sex with Nikki Sixx, it would be when I was sober and more level headed. But, for now, this was a mistake. A mistake that I wasn't willing to make.

"Let's head back into the living room," I suggested, gingerly pulling away from him and slipping my shirt back on over my head.

When I poked my head out of the hole of my shirt, I could see that Nikki obviously felt dejected. He was staring off at the floor beside me, lost in thought as I got dressed. Had that been too harsh?

"You coming?" I asked as I walked around him and towards the door.

"Yeah. I'll be out in a minute," he muttered, not even looking over his shoulder when he spoke to me. "I still have to get my water."

I frowned. "Alright. I'll see you out there."

I left the kitchen and began walking back towards where the rest of the band was laughing and smoking. I couldn't help but worry that, maybe, the mistake wasn't having sex with Nikki. Maybe the mistake was rejecting him like that. Because, looking back, sex seemed like a great idea. But this...this just left me with a feeling of regret in the pit of my stomach.

When I returned to the couch, the guys all clamored to get me to smoke more, and I gladly obliged. Nikki entered the room soon after, two glasses of water in his hands. While the rest of us laughed and carried on, Nikki secluded himself to a recliner in the corner of the room, where he lost himself in his own mind for the remainder of the night.

A couple times, his eyes would flicker over to me, and I'd wonder what he was thinking. But, as time passed and the party came to a close, everyone branched off into separate rooms for the night. When Nikki didn't even say good night to me, I got a pretty good idea of what was gnawing at him all evening.

Maybe, I'd just made a huge mistake.