Chapter 30 - The Past

~Clarkes POV~

Bellamy looks slightly shocked once I meet his eyes, I can tell he is still trying to process what I have just said, moving the words around in his head, trying to find the answer.

I look down at Nick and I can see the colour of his skin starting to turn pale, the blood slowly leaving his face, and more blood coming from the wound. Without anything to get the bullet out and nothing to carry him back to camp on theres too many things that can go wrong.

Not only might his blood not be strong enough to handle the radiation even if his is doing well now, that could change in mere moments. I haven't got enough bandages or herbs to fix the relentless scratches on his knees and hands form falling, let alone the bullet still lodged between his spine and flesh.

I look over to Bellamy and find him still looking at me, like he can see the gears turning in my head. I take a deep breath and go through the options once in my head once again. I look up to Bellamy and meet his eyes, the brown seeming to seep out of them and fill the world around us with warmth.

I shake my head and place my hand on Nicks leg, knowing he can't feel it. I sigh and I can see the pain behind his eyes. Knowing that he is going to lose yet another person, even if he has known them for mere hours.

I clear my throat and blink back tears and sit down on the sand next to both Bellamy and Nick. The grainy pieces of rock flooding into my shoes and scratching my skin lately.

"Bellamy came down to Earth to save his sister." I say with a small croak and I can see Nicks eyes widen.

"You have a sister?" He asks in disbelief. I crack inside knowing now that the bunker we had just escaped had population laws just like the Ark, siblings not allowed and punishment given out if such laws were broken.

I nod and look to Bellamy, his arms tense and his fists clenched together. "When we fist landed, it was so beautiful, there were trees for as far as the eye could see." I say remembering back to the strolls I had with Finn and Lexa through the thick under growth, the many I also had with Bellamy.

I see something flash through Bellamy's eyes and I can tell it's a memory of some kind, I then see his eyes darken slightly and I begin to pick out the right one.

"We thought it was safe." He says clenching his fists in and out like the beat of his heart. "We were wrong, its beauty tricked us." He says looking back to Nick now, his brown straight hair covering his forehead in a messy bunch.

"We found that we were not alone on Earth, that others had survived the end of the world over one hundred years before." I say thinking back to Lincoln. Memories of Lincoln and Octavia seem to flood my mind and I reach for Bellamys hand, knowing he is thinking the same thing.

As if knowing he takes it while I move it towards him in a tight grasp I know he won't break, it seems that he doesn't tend to break grasps, if they mental, or physical.

"We called them Grounders at first." Says Bellamy, his voice still seeming to harden at the mention of the word. "But we soon found that they had names, that they were just like us." He says with the weakest smile I think I have ever seen him show.

He looks over to me next and I take a small breath before continuing the story we now seem to be telling.

"One was called Lincoln, he feel in love with Bellamy's sister, Octavia." I say looking to Nick. I watch his eyes light up and I watch him look to Bellamy, almost excitement in his eyes.

"I read that book." He manages to croak out with a slight cough. I watch Bellamy lock eyes with Nick and I watch the smile fill the places between his lips, his teeth showing slightly.

"I named her after a character in that book." He says his smile staying like it has always been there. I smile slightly at the sight of him, happy even in a time of destress and hurt.

"Keep going." Says Nick, his voice becoming harsher as if its almost becoming harder to speak. I nod and look over to Bellamy.

"After a few days on the ground, we got a surprise package." I glance over to Bellamy with a smirk and I see him shake his head.

"A girl at the time called Raven had travelled down to earth to be with us." He says with a small smile. "Not long after that, war was declared with the Grounders."

"That day we lost a lot of brave people, but we also discovered us and the Grounders, weren't alone." I say with a sigh and a small frown. I look over to Bellamy and I listen as he continues, our hands still grasped together tightly.

"Some of us escaped before they came. I was one of them, we met up with the other people from the Ark who had come down as well while we were at war." He says trying to make it simpler. I nod to myself and then look down to Nick, his eyes still open and his breaths shallow.

"The people who took the rest of us we call the Mountain Men." I say with pain, remembering the people I killed. I feel a small squeeze come from Bellamy and it pulls me down form the clouds and reality, back to the story and real life.

"They started out nice in the beginning, but then they wanted to use our bones to help them get to the surface." I say with a cringe remembering having to stitch and re-bandage Harper several times after we all finally got back to Arkadia. The drill digging deep into her flesh and hip bone.

"I escaped luckily, but others were still trapped inside and at this point we were friends with the Grounders, we weren't fighting." I say wanting to get that out of the way. I watch Bellamy nod agreeing and I then listen as he continues.

"I remember the time I saw Clarke for the first time in months." He says looking over at me, I smile and grip his hand tighter.

"While she had been escaping the Mountain Men, and Mount Weather, I had been asking our leader at the time, Kane if I could go and find her, he kept saying no." I see the honest sadness in his eyes and all I want to do is hug him, wrap my hands around his chest and pull him close, remind him that I'm here.

"But I didn't have to go looking for her, she found me." He says looking over at me, his eyes glintering, the brown in them warming my heart to the core.

"After we found each other, we had a meeting with the Grounder's, and thats when we arranged a plan to get both our friends and some Grounder's out of Mount Weather." I look down to Nick to see if hes following and he nods back understanding. I give him a smile and start to continue.

"We made a plan with the commander of the Grounders called Lexa, she helped us get past the defences of the Mountain Men, but not help us get them out, she tricked us." I say still regretting my decision.

"We had another big fight with the Mountain men, and our friends lost people they loved, I nearly lost Bellamy." I say, saying the last part slightly quieter. I look over to him and I can tell he has heard me because the look in his eyes tells me everything.

We both take a breath before continuing, what we have already said sounds like a lifetime ago, not a matter of years.

"After that we all thought we were safe, everyone was back at our camp and we were all together." Bellamy looks to me seriously and I take a breath ready for what he is about to say.

"Then Jaha came back." He says and I can't help but snort out a laugh, I get a smile in return.

"Jaha was our old leader on the Ark, and everyone though he died when everyone form the Ark came to earth, but he survived." He says his smile slightly fading. I look to Nick and he is still listening, more colour from his face gone which worries me slightly.

"While he was gone, he found a place called The City of Light." I shiver when I hear the name, and look to Bellamy, his muscles tense.

"There, he found a robot named A.L.I.E, she was evil just like the Mountain Men." I say listening, yet another obstacle we have had to defeat to get to where we are now.

"She gave us chips that could heal all pain, but she could control you when you took them, we declined but some of our friends fell for her trap." I say with a small frown.

"She hurt us, and all of our friends but we killed her in the end." Says Bellamy with a breath. I nod and smile agreeing with what he just said, soon he continues on and I squeeze his hand and run my fingers over his knuckles.

"Once again after A.L.I.E we though we were safe, we were wrong again." He says with a weak smile towards me.

"We were told that we then had to face an enemy we couldn't kill, that we instead had to hide from." He says squeezing my hand back with a little rub of his fingers through mine, I smile and start to talk again, seeing as Nick is keen to hear what else we have to say.

"We called it the death wave, a storm of radiation that would kill everyone on earth, but we luckily found a bunker after lots of Grounder's and us and our friends fought them." I say huffing not bothering to go through details.

"But while we were fighting the Grounders, our friend Raven was a long way away and couldn't make it to the bunker in time." Says Bellamy, his voice taking a cautious tone.

"We all went to go get her and bring her home but we were too late and couldn't bring her back in time. So, we decided there was only one way we were going to survive." He says looking to me.

"We decided we needed to go back up to space." I say just loud enough for Nick and Bellamy to hear. Nick's eyes widen in surprise as he looks from me to Bellamy in shock. I nod and look to Bellamy, asking silently if he wants to tell the next part of our story. His eyes flash with something I don't recognise and he starts to talk.

"We made sure we had all the things we needed, and then we planned to meet at a certain time, but we had one task that would take a longer than we expected." He says slowly filtering the words as they leave his lips.

"I should have done that mission, but Clarke did instead, she didn't end up making it to the rocket in time." I can hear the sadness in his voice and I want more than anything to crash into his arms like we did on the day we first saw each other after all those years.

"It wasn't your fault Bellamy." I say knowing he's doubting himself. I watch his eyes move from mine to the ground then back up, only I see the wetness behind them, I grasp his hand with both of mine and run my fingers over his hand before looking back up at him.

"Even if you took that mission instead of me, I wouldn't have let you stay, I would have made you go back." I say not filtering the words flowing form my heart. He looks up and our eyes lock.

"Clarke." His voice is hoarse and I grip his hand tighter.

"No, Bellamy it doesn't matter what you didn't do that day because we are here now, together." I say with a teary smile, I don't even notice im crying until one of his hands comes up and cups my cheek, his warm hand surging heat through my body.

I melt into his touch and I don't know if I can risk losing him again, having to watch him sit in a cell helpless with needle marks in his arms. His body bruised and his hands restrained, blood running out of a wound that I can't tend to, having his death weighed down on my shoulders like all the others.

Bellamy Blake is one soul I vowel not to lose.

Something out of the corner of my eyes seems to stop slowly and I look over to see what it is. My heart sinks and soon Bellamy's eyes follow mine to Nick's lifeless bod.

Blood covering the back of his shirt in a rich and yet also sickening red colour that seems to represent all the blood I have spilled, making myself believe that yet again this death is because of me.

That I have killed yet another innocent person, someone who didn't need to die.

But someone who is now dead...

THIS CHAPTER IS LONG!!! But I felt like giving something back today after all the comments I received, I will always comment back so please leave any questions you want. Today I am doing something extra special that I haven't done before. Today

@Hello_World132

Commented on basically everyone of my chapters and it really made my day, thank you for that, it feels amazing to know that people are liking my work. I think I will do a shout out every 10 chapters from now on so get yourself noticed for chapter 40!

Thank you guys for all the love and please enjoy this super long, extra special chapter 30! Love you all, thanks

-RFRC