{16}

***Content warning, this chapter describes topics that may be triggering for some readers, such as the mention of but not limited to SA. I will not be held accountable for anything that may trigger the reader. Proceed with caution.

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Yennefer beckoned me down the hall, moist walls of stone and the ambience of torches and chandeliers lining the way. The flames breathed on my skin, the warmth somewhat comforting my pounding heart.

I kept thinking back to what Yennefer said in the room after I'd been able to walk. Sitting next to me on the bed, she comforted my anxiety,

"These people, they've only known me from the tales. They only know me as a monster... They're not wrong."

"Prove them wrong, Mira."

---

The room doors opened, the croaking of the hinges filling the silence in the room. All eyes were on me. Some faces I recognized, others I did not. But they all looked at me the same:

with wonder, fear, anger... The very same things I'd experienced as a woman, always perceived as something wrong.

I stood across the long dark, shimmering table. It was engraved with beautiful designs on its edges; of magical creatures, swirls, nature, and crystals. Its surface, cut from a tree thousands of years old, glistened from its protective coating.

It brought me comfort knowing I had Yennefer by my side, and Tissaia standing across from me. Mother looked at me with a nod and the hint of a reassuring smile.

Tissaia's lips parted as she drew in a breath, authoritatively poised,

"Today, we gather to discuss this sorceress, Mirabel Nash. As I can assume, many of you have heard stories of her. The death she has brought throughout the land, the destruction. Some of you may know her as the Ash Bringer, Death Bringer,..."

She paused, looking around the room. No one was looking at her.

Tissaia continued, "as a young girl following the Black Knight, she proved much more capable than we could have imagined. As I can see, there is great discomfort in this room. I cannot blame any of you, for knowing what she has done. That is why we must gather here today. To decide her fate."

I pursed my lips, my hands held in tight fists, doing everything to suppress my anxious heart. Tears threatened to fall, and I looked down in shame.

"Mirabel," Tissaia started, "we would like to hear your story."

I slowly lifted my head and glanced at Yennefer. She smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, and I inhaled sharply,

"Seeing you all here, with those looks in your eyes, I feel a great shame. I know what I did was not right and that whatever I say now will not improve anything. But at least, before deciding to cut off my head, I must express the troubles that led me to become what I am now.

"When I was a young girl, my birth parents gave me away to a couple in a small village. My adoptive family never really told me this. They ran a farm. They were poor, but we were never short of a roof over our heads or enough food to keep our bellies full. I never saw my birth parents again.

"As time passed, my 'parents' came to discover, to their initial delight, a set of magical abilities that I possessed.

"It started with simple things, healing a bird's broken wings, watching plants age out of curiosity, fixing my father up when he'd fallen from the roof and broken his arm. I was barely old enough to remember all the things I did, but that time was good.

"But as I aged, my abilities developed. And so did my emotions. Though I never intended to hurt anyone, my emotions would get the better of me, and I'd end up hurting people. Like the time I scratched my father.

"At that time, it wasn't enough to kill. But my parents grew fearful of me, increasingly weary of my power. And more strict when trying to hide it. It didn't help much that I was already considered an outcast by the other children, and villagers.

"One day, the usual group of boys decided to pick on me. I was out around the trees trying to identify different fauna. They'd come up from behind, startling me. Teasing me. Pushing me and hitting me. I'd grown so hurt mentally that, whatever it was inside, forced its way out for a split second. Something happened, so quickly I didn't quite catch it. But it was enough to taint my attackers. And the head of the group was left with a large gash across one side of his face.

"Forever disfigured, his mother came to my mother's doorstep. Shouting at my mother as I watched in fear. But all I could do was close my eyes. I didn't want to let the beast out. And so the village found out about what I was capable of.

"I was already different, a separate entity from their little party. Of course, they'd seized on the opportunity to harass my family and me even more. They'd all stare, glare, spit, and threaten when out to drop off produce. But I looked ahead, doing my best to ignore them. What else could I do? Even I didn't know the extent of my power.

"Some time passed, and one morning I woke to find I'd had my first period. I didn't know what it was, but I was in so much pain. Little did I realize the extent of danger we were all in. You see, my father had grown a tendency to physically abuse my mother and me. He hadn't been like that until after the incident with the bully. I never figured out why he'd started, but I'd assumed it was because he'd grown just as scared as us.

"And, when he was angry, and in an attempt to protect my mother, I released what I could do. What I'd thought would soothe his wrath. But instead, the beast decided it had had enough. Instead of protection, there was destruction. I unknowingly unleashed a flame that ended up destroying everyone and everything in its wake. I didn't know that my powers had evolved.

"I never wanted any of that to happen. But it did. And I ran as any little person would, next to the large oak tree on the hill. Hence my name 'Nash.'

"I never knew my real name, until later, when I'd confronted Queen Calanthe, which I'll come to in a moment.

"Being new to the experience of the power I possessed, its true form, I'd over-exerted myself. Bleeding, covered in the ashes of... people, I couldn't confront what I'd done. And so I ran away mindlessly. It's funny how such a large flame couldn't warm me. I shivered, hugged myself, and collapsed somewhere.

"When I came to, I was in the back of a wagon, my body resting on sacks of produce. A farmer had rescued me. His name was Maelo. He brought me to his village and asked Brienne (their doctor, or something) to fix me up. Brienne was a mage, older than she let on... But we connected right away. She explained why I was bleeding between my legs, and what it meant.

"Everyone in that village was terrified of what had happened to my village. They thought I was a survivor. Sure, I was, but not in the way they thought. They waited for the time the Nilfgaardian soldiers came, blaming the fire on them. But Maelo and Brienne knew I was different. When the soldiers intimidated us, I was waiting for Maelo or Brienne to give me up when the time came. But they protected me, so I protected them as best as possible. But the Black Knight -- Cahir --, sensed something about me. And he tried taking me.

"They were all slaughtered, save a group of children and Brienne. I've not heard of what happened to them, but that village, Maelo, everything was destroyed."

I paused for a moment, choking up, but I continued.

"I was knocked unconscious. When I came to, it'd turned out I was their captive. Cahir wanted to use my power, to use me. He did, thus beginning the downfall of Cintra.

"When we arrived at the capital, I burned everything. I let those men murder and rape those people. Rape their city. I killed the Queen, not yet realizing she was my grandmother. Or that I am the only successor to the throne. I only found out much later, told by Geralt of Rivia, that I was Princess Cirilla. That, however, is not a name I choose to live by...."

Author's note: Mirabel is NOT the Cirilla we see in the show or the game. Someone else, however, will receive this name and take up the appearance of the Cirilla we know in the show.

I placed a hand on my stomach, feeling as if I was going to puke.

"I have no right to that name. I destroyed my own Kingdom... Though I doubt he was aware of my title, Cahir used me for my power. He trained me to be a killing machine. And I was, I still am. I trusted him and fell in LOVE with him. I gave him everything. But how can I know what love is? I've never had it. Not for long.

"Once I realized what Cahir was, I ran off, hiding in plain sight. But Geralt of Rivia, he had sworn to my grandmother to protect me. He found me, took me in. I went to the School. Trained. We hunted the Nilfgaardians, and I so desperately wanted to be with Cahir again. Naive, yes, but I needed the warmth. But I couldn't betray Geralt after all he'd done for me. And Yennefer, I couldn't turn my back on her either. And what I saw in Fringilla's eyes,"

I looked at Fringilla, next to Tissaia, who looked as if she was about to cry,

"was hope. We killed and captured Cahir and his soldiers with whatever I had left. Some mages too refused to stand trial. I had no choice. What irks me is how I wasn't able to kill the man I thought was 'love.' Perhaps in some twisted way, I still love him. But he was just as naive as I was. Just as broken."

I hesitated to mention the Elf or my sighting of Brienne. So I said nothing.

"The rest you know. Despite my changed appearance, I am most definitely still a monster in your eyes. I will die, or submit to whatever punishments you decide. I know that what I did was inexcusable. So if you decide to put me to death, so be it. I've seen enough for a whole lifetime."

There was complete and utter silence in the room. Just now, all eyes on me had turned to Tissaia, who stood perfectly poised, her face unreadable.

"Well," she started, "what a journey. We shall vote. I know some of you have expressed forcing her along the streets naked, and being executed. So, here are the two options. We kill her, or we educate her. Those in favour of death, raise your hands."

Several mages, from different ages and backgrounds, raised their hands. My heart sank, embarrassed. But I did not object.

Tissaia, upon seeing their hands, flicked her wrists and almost instantly those mages burst into blue flames; crying out in pain and disappearing into a mist.

"Well, it seems we've had our votes then. The rest of you, which is now all of us, want to train Mirabel in the ways of magic and science. So we will. Any questions?"

Dead silence.

"Good. Now I must warn you all, the next time someone decides to overthrow me while I'm away on battle duty, will meet the same fate as those traitors. We do not turn on each other, not here, ever. Now then, you're all dismissed."

Almost immediately, everyone rushed out. Some took weary glances my way, but sharply looked away when Tissaia or Yennefer shot them a look.

"Mirabel," Tissaia called out, "come here."

I obeyed, approaching her cautiously, Yennefer just behind me.

"I never had the opportunity to thank you for what you did. I've entrusted Yennefer to be your mentor. You will study at Aretuza. I know how difficult life has been for you. It was just the same for Yennefer. Be prepared to face spite from the others."

"I don't know how to thank you," I started.

"Don't thank me yet. I've received an official letter from the Emperor."

"Emperor?" I asked.

"His name is Emhyr var Emreis. He has requested a treaty..." Tissaia continued.

I tilted my head in curiosity, 'Cahir's father?'

Yennefer shot a glance at Tissaia, "she's not ready."

Fringilla cut in, "If I may... before, she had no one, but she has us now."

"Fringilla's right. You know why he's proposed such a thing Yennefer."

"What is it?" I asked, furrowing my brow, still unsettled from the meeting moments ago.

----

We came to a section of the basement in Aretuza. It was a prison. Some cells had traitor mages, their hands bound by scar incantations, and their tongues cut to prevent the use of magic. But this was not the root of my horror, it was Cahir.

He sat there in his cell, ragged, broken. But his eyes, they shimmered.

"I'm sure you're glad to hear that your father has requested a treaty. For you, Black Knight," Tissaia hissed.

Cahir, twitching at the harshness of her voice, only looked on, at me.

"It is no origin of happiness. Not for me. I have brought great shame to Nilfgaard, he will kill me. What he wants is her."

My heart fluttered at his referral, but I stood my ground, hiding my emotions as best as possible.

"Why? What use would that be? He knows what she is capable of," Fringilla spat.

Cahir scoffed, but looked on the verge of tears, "he wants her power. He will try to change her, bring her to his side. Then he will revolt and wipe Cintra from the face of the earth, once and for all."

With a face so full of rage yet so blank, I moved closer to Cahir's cell, looking down on his shattered form. I saw in his eyes gentleness, but I still growled like a lioness, "he cannot change me. If he wants you, that is what he will get."

"Mirab-" Tissaia began,

"-no. Cintra needs the resources and needs what they offer. I have to undo what I've done as best I can. I swear, sisters, if he tries anything I will burn it all."

Silence, then Tissaia pursed her lips, "fine. We will accompany you. I'll have a letter sent right this moment, then we will go in the coming days."

----

Nearly a week passed before we started on the road. I nearly broke as I passed all the destruction of my country. No one knew my identity as we passed by, but they did notice us, and wept.

Cahir and the traitors followed suit, closely guarded and shackled. They rode horses between us, guards pulling their horses along with ours.

The winter frost eventually became a pleasant morning dew. I finally had the chance to take in the beauty of what I'd destroyed. The nature, the sun, and farmhouses that remained. Children, surrounded by death, playing and laughing with each other.

Hope.

Finally, after a few weeks of travel, we reached the border. I hid myself under a thick hooded cloak as Tissaia spoke, providing proof of the captives and business of our arrival to the guards. Once we passed the border, we took in almost immediately a completely different scenery.

The land was fruitful and prosperous, despite how many Nilfgaardians were obliterated. Vegetation galore, a wild stag, beautiful structures. None of it was any of how I'd pictured it.

Cahir on the other hand, had the expression of illness and anxiety. I couldn't even imagine watching him die at the hands of the Emperor. Even though he wasn't biologically related to the ruler, I could not picture being murdered by your own father...

Though indeed, I was one to talk.

The days grew gloomy as we grew closer to the capital, and the castle. Once we'd stationed outside of the castle gates, my heart pounded so hard my face had gone red. More noticeable with my naturally pale complexion.

Yennefer, thankfully, had written to Geralt before we left. About what we were doing now. At least someone would know of our whereabouts.

Guards approached us as we entered the castle grounds. We dismounted our horses as two Nilfgaardian soldiers viciously grabbed Cahir and the others. They started pulling them away, but Tissaia stopped them, "they come with us."

As we walked through the castle in the direction of the throne room, I absorbed our path in case we had to run. But I was also distracted by the beauty and intricacy of the walls. Carvings, art, music, everything. And there was a strange elegantly red tint that contrasted the golden appearance of Cintra.

The guards which stood at the throne room doors pushed them open, and we were met with another four guards blocking our path. One of the guards grabbed Cahir, and another sneered at my sisters, "only the girl may enter. Guests must wait outside."

"Then perhaps the treaty-"

"-It's fine, Tissaia." I interjected, "it is as the emperor requests."

I moved close to Yennefer, "if anything happens, I'll send a signal. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

I tried to give a reassuring smile, but it came off as weak and uncertain.

"what's taking so long?" an unfamiliar voice called, "let her in."

The guards pushed Tissaia, Yennefer, and Fringilla back. My line of sight ahead of me was obstructed by the guards in front of me. From the sides of my form though, I took in the beauty of the throne room. The checkered floor. The chandeliers. The alarming number of courtesians. And high-ranking members of the society. They all stared at me, whispering to each other. I looked back at Yennefer, who could only look on as the throne room doors closed.

"That's enough," the voice said, "give her room to breathe already."

The guards in front of me moved aside, and there I saw him. The emperor was incredibly handsome, dark with long hair. Dark blue eyes, but elegant. He stared at me, and my nearly white hair.

I looked to the side of the throne, where I saw Cahir kneeling under the tight arm of one of the royal guards. He stared down, sweat dripping down the side of his face.

The emperor stared at me deep in thought, a hand over his mouth, and a heavily furrowed brow. He stood up abruptly, almost instantly turning to Cahir. He stood before his son, and did something incredibly surprising. He raised his hand, Cahir winced, but it was only to shoo the guard away.

"Stand, my son," Emhyr said seriously.

Cahir looked up at him, awkwardly around the room, then stood. He made a face, pain, likely from the aches of battle.

Emhyr stared at him stoicly, and smiled. He hugged Cahir, "I thought you died."

"I thought I was going to die," Cahir retorted.

"Don't be ridiculous! Why save you as a boy only to kill you as an ad... still as a boy."

Cahir did not react. Emhyr drew his sword suddenly, lifted it, and struck the chains from Cahir's wrists.

Emhyr then turned his gaze to me, eying my white hair again, "you look so much like her."

"Like who?" I asked, inching away slightly at the sight of his sword still in his hand.

"Your mother, Pavetta. Your eyes, your hair, all of it."

"How did you know my mother?" I asked, and Emhyr strode over to where I stood. My hands twitched, ready to unleash flames, but instead of attacking me, he dropped his sword and hugged me.

My eyes widened, and a murmur struck the room. Emhyr smelled of oak trees and cinnamon, strong spices that made my mouth water. My heart skipped a beat in terror and confusion. Then I spotted Brienne standing next to Emhyr's throne.

I pushed him off of me, "too much?" he asked.

I glanced back and forth between him, Cahir, and Brienne.

"Who are you?!" I hissed.

"I understand. Of course you wouldn't remember me, wishful thinking. But can a father really forget the love he has for his own daughter?"

My eyes shot almost immediately to Cahir, whose face was just as struck as mine. Tear swelled my vision as I stared bitterly at Emhyr.

"Welcome home."

Finis

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Author's Note:

HOOO BOY. I've finally managed to finish this!

I designed Mirabel shortly after the show's first season was released on Netflix (back in... 2019? 2020?)

I had her story developed in my head at that time but struggled to put it on paper. I worked as quickly as possible before the second season as I did not want to feel discouraged by the show's 'canon' (even though Mira's story is an AU).

Unfortunately, to my disdain, I didn't finish Mira's story before the second season was released. I haven't yet watched it, though, to my perplexment, I'd discovered some clips of Ciri on social media promotions which seemed to capture a lot of similarities to her development, and Mira's (i.e. bleeding from magic use, glowing eyes, similar outfit, etc. I haven't read the books or played the games, though I hope to at some point. All my inspiration came from the first season and a picture of Emhyr running around online lmaooo).

What can I do? Hahaha. 'Great minds think alike', some person out there once said.

Regardless of how similar Ciri ends up being to Mira in the second season, I think it would perfectly link with what I've had in mind for Mira for over 2 years... (no spoilers, lol).

Yes, that means I'm writing a sequel, to be released in 2075 (jkjk). But soon to be released, hopefully.

I also wanted to note my writing style. In the first bit it was very broken, poetic even. The story as a whole contains a lot of hidden meanings and intentionally vague word-choice. This final chapter, however, is structured a bit differently. I wanted to represent how much Mirabel came from being very child-like to adult-like. Because she is telling this story, it has to show her growth. Once reading it through in its entirety, I recommend going back through the story's chapters individually and analyzing them. There is a lot of easter eggs, foreshadowing, and other literary devices + criticisms to be found!

I'm glad you all enjoyed this story (and the first installment) to Mira's story. I'll have that second part coming, plus shorts, like the one about Brienne and how she's connected to Emhyr.

Anyways, THANK YOU ALL so so much for sticking around! I look forward to continuing Mira's story soon!!!

- Storyteller26809