Chapter 30

"Raditz, I need you to take this to the mall," Fasha said, handing him a sweater.

"Why?" Raditz asked before glancing down at it and wrinkling his nose at the offending item. "Well no wonder. It's hideous."

"Exactly," Fasha frowned at the sweater. "Your father obviously forgot our anniversary AGAIN and grabbed the first thing he saw, thinking it would get him out of trouble."

"Typical," Raditz snorted.

"Yes, could you be a dear and return it to the mall?" the wife of Bardock asked.

Raditz grinned. The long-haired Saiyan had just seen an announcement on TV advertising that the Victoria's Secret Angels themselves would be modeling the new spring line at the West City Mall. He had been trying to think of a reasonable excuse to go to the mall, a place he normally detested.

"Of course, Mother," he smiled before leaving.

"Wow," Fasha was stunned. "That was easier than I thought it'd be. He hates the mall."

...

Raditz was grinning ear to ear as he entered the mall. In just a short time, he would be watching the famous Victoria's Secret strut their stuff in an assortment of swimwear, sportswear, and tastefully revealing lingerie. It was a public show after all.

The eldest son of Bardock was so excited for the coming show, he bounded up the escalator rather than wait and the cuff of his jeans temporarily snagged on one of the steps and sent him crashing face-first to the floor.

...

"He's waking up!" he heard a soft voice say.

"What happened?" Raditz groaned as he opened his eyes to see several concerned girls looking at him. A pretty, green-eyed blonde was holding an ice-pack to his forehead and a hazel-eyed redhead was stroking his hair.

"You poor thing, you've been out for a whole thirty minutes," a dark-eyed brunette sighed, rubbing his shoulders.

It was then that Raditz noticed that all of the females were wearing revealing bikinis and feathery angel wings.

'Is this...Heaven?' the teenage Saiyan wondered 'When I fell...I must have sustained a fatal head injury...and now I'm in Heaven...surrounded by beautiful, bikini-clad angels...I'm not sure how I got in here, but I'm certainly not complaining!'

Raditz tried to climb to his feet, but he was stopped by the 'angels'.

"Oh, you just sit and relax," said the blonde. "You had quite an ordeal. Just look at that lump on your forehead!"

Raditz's hand flew to his forehead and he felt a walnut-sized knot just below his hairline.

"You've obviously had a serious accident," the brunette girl told him.

"I know!" the redhead, clad in a hot pink bikini, jumped to her feet. "He can watch our rehearsal!"

Raditz was about to ask what she meant by rehearsal when one of the girls began to strut as though she were on an imaginary catwalk, stopping every few seconds to pose. Before long, several other girls joined her.

'So, I'm not in Heaven,' the nineteen-year-old Saiyan sighed inwardly. 'Oh well, close enough for me.'

"Bad news, ladies," a dark-haired woman in a lavender business suit came up. "Cupid quit."

"But that'll completely ruin the finale!" cried a blonde in a royal blue bikini.

"I'm really sorry, girls," the dark-haired woman said. "But the show is in thirty minutes, there's no way we're going to find a male model in that short of a time."

"What about him?" asked a girl with curly black hair and a bright green bikini as she pointed at Raditz.

"Hmm," the woman in the lavendar suit looked Raditz over. "Nice build, love the hair, but look at that lump!"

She reached forward and pulled a few locks of spiky, black hair over the offending lump. "Perfect!"

"What can I say?" Raditz smirked, tossing his mane.

...

"Goku, is something wrong?" Krillin asked, noticing the stunned look on his friend's face as he glanced at his phone.

"Raditz just texted me," Goku answered.

"And?"

'He's going to be Cupid in a show at the mall," Goku went on.

"Are you serious?" Turles asked, looking disgusted. "Who would ever willingly participate in a pathetic mall show?"

"Yeah, especially since to be Cupid, he'd have to wear a diaper," Krillin snickered. "That would be so humiliating for him."

"Suddenly, the show sounds like it might actually turn out to be quite entertaining," Turles grinned evilly. "Don't you think so, Vegeta?"

"Quite." Vegeta smirked.

...

"I can't believe I let you drag me to this," Chi-Chi huffed as she sat next to Bulma.

"They will be modeling some absolutely gorgeous clothes, Chi-Chi," Bulma said defensively.

"You would think skimpy clothes are gorgeous," Chi-Chi sniffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bulma glared at the brunette.

"Ladies, please, can't you go one afternoon without fighting?" Yamcha sighed.

"You stay out of it!" both girls snapped at him.

"It's starting!" Bulma exclaimed. "Sit back and enjoy the show."

Yamcha grinned.

"Don't enjoy it too much," Bulma warned.

"Aw," Yamcha looked disappointed but quickly got over it.

...

"Why does it not surprise me that Raditz would be drawn to this sort of thing?" Tarble asked as a few models strutted across the catwalk.

"It shouldn't," Krillin said. "But it'll be worth it when he has to come out in a diaper."

"This is a win-win. We get to see gorgeous girls and Raditz making a total fool of himself," Turles smirked.

"Well, maybe this will get him to shut up about his social life for a while," Goku said.

"If this goes off without a hitch, he might not even have one anymore," Vegeta stated.

"You mean there'll be a chance for the rest of us?" Krillin looked hopeful.

"Oh, please, Baldy, there's no chance for you anyway," Broly sneered.

"Hey, a guy can dream," the shorter boy grumbled.

"Dreaming is as close as you're ever going to get," Turles fired back.

"Some friends you guys are," Krillin frowned.

Vegeta, Turles, and Broly all glared him.

"Who said we were friends?" they chorused.

"Now, shut up, the finale's starting," Turles said.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we all know it wouldn't be Valentine's Day without a visit from Cupid!" the announcer said.

Just then the first chords from 'I'm Sexy and I Know it' blared from the speakers and Raditz strutted out, clutching a golden bow, followed by several bikini-clad angels.

'Girl, look at that body, girl look at that body,' the song went on.

"Ooh, I'm lookin' honey, I'm lookin'!" a girl in front of the Saiyans cheered.

It was then that they noticed that Raditz was not wearing a diaper, but a white silk loincloth.

Vegeta turned and delivered a brutal punch to Krillin's shoulder.

"You said he was going to be wearing a diaper," the Saiyan prince growled. "You said it was going to humiliate him."

"Actually, they were spot on," Tarble spoke up. "Historically, Eros, better known nowadays as Cupid, actually wore a loincloth rather the stereotypical diaper commercialism has adopted-"

"Shut up, Nerd!" Vegeta snapped. "No one cares!"

...

Chi-Chi caught herself squealing when she saw Raditz.

"Oh! What am I doing?!" she gasped. "I can't be doing this! I'm in a steady relationship!"

"What? There's nothing wrong with windw shopping for an upgrade," Bulma shrugged.

"Hey!" Yamcha yelled.

"Well, you could stand to work out for once," Bulma told him.

"I do work out," Yamcha stated.

"Well, you could stand to work out a little more," the blue-haired heiress quipped.

...

"Brat, what is this?" Bardock asked, holding up a picture of grinning Raditz in a loincloth, surrounded by girls wearing bikinis, slightly revealing minidresses, and angel wings.

"Oh, that was from the Victoria's Secret photo shoot," Raditz answered.

"Photo shoot?"

"What? Their Cupid walked out on them," Raditz put a hand over his heart. "And I, being the gallant gentleman I am, offered my services."

"I'll just bet you did," Bardock frowned.

"Well, they requested I make a few appearances next week," Raditz added.

"You're not missing school," Bardock told him.

"They're going to pay me."

Bardock thought about it for a moment.

"How much?" the scar-faced Saiyan asked.

Raditz held up a piece of paper with several figures on it.

"Well, you're going to need someone to...supervise," Bardock insisted. "They're still there, right?"

"Until four o'clock," his son answered.

"Well, we can't risk you being immature and getting into trouble," Bardock said. "You'll need a chaperone to go along with you and I'm-"

"BARDOCK, RADITZ IS NINETEEN YEARS OLD, MORE THAN CAPABLE OF LOOKING AFTER HIMSELF, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING!" Fasha yelled as she descended the stairs, glaring daggers at her husband.

"How did she even know?" Bardock whispered.

"Women's intuition," Raditz whispered back. "Word of wisdom: Don't mess with it."

...

Guys I'm sorry but that's it for right now! Cause My little sister wanted me to do a stupid Clopfic! I hate myself right now! Please don't read them ok! So I hope you enjoyed it! ^-^