𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩

𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝐼𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝑌𝑒𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚.

𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑁𝑎𝑛𝑖, ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑠𝑘𝑦 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑁𝑎𝑛𝑖 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑘𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑖'𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑠𝑘𝑦'𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡.

𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑡.

As soon as the door closed behind his papa and Est, silence fell heavy in the room. Nani stood in front of the mirror, his own reflection almost unrecognizable. His skin looked dull, shadows carved beneath his eyes. His cheeks were hollowed, the curve of his jaw sharper than before.

He lifted his hand, brushing his fingers against the glass as if Sky's image might appear beside his. "Why aren't you here..." his voice cracked.

A sigh escaped him, but it didn't ease the weight on his chest. He sat down heavily on the bed, his body trembling. His hands curled into the sheets as he whispered, "I can't... I can't do this without you, Sky."

Nani hadn't eaten properly in days. Every plate of food felt meaningless without Sky stealing bites, teasing him, telling him he was beautiful even with rice stuck to his lips. Every morning was empty-no warm touches brushing his hair back, no quick kisses, no affectionate scolding for sleeping late. Nights were worse; he would roll over, reaching for warmth that wasn't there, the space beside him cold and suffocating.

Tears spilled before he realized, hot and unstoppable. He pressed his palms to his face, but it didn't muffle the sobs ripping through him. His chest hurt with every breath, his throat raw as he choked out Sky's name like a prayer.

He slid off the bed, collapsing onto the floor, clutching at the carpet as if holding on to something real. "Sky... please... I miss you... I can't-"

The ache was unbearable, gnawing at his mind, his body. Sky wasn't just his lover-he was his air, his anchor, his everything. Without him, the world tilted, losing color, losing meaning.

Nani cried until his voice broke, until the room felt too big, too empty, until he was nothing but a trembling figure curled on the floor, begging for the man who wasn't there.

Nani's sobs echoed off the walls, wild and unrestrained, his voice breaking until it was nothing but desperate gasps and hoarse cries. He clawed at his own chest as though he could rip out the ache crushing his ribs, his body rocking back and forth on the cold floor.

Stop it, he told himself between ragged breaths. Sky is working. He's doing this for us. He's tired too. You shouldn't... you shouldn't be like this.

He bit his lip hard enough to taste blood, trying to silence his cries, but the moment he thought of Sky's face-Sky's arms around him, Sky's voice whispering "my love" in the quiet of night-the dam broke again.

A scream tore from him, raw and guttural, filling the room with anguish. "Sky! Please-come back, I can't-" His nails scraped against the floorboards, leaving angry red marks on his palms. His body shook violently, tears streaming endlessly down his face until they soaked the collar of his shirt.

He curled tighter into himself, shivering, choking on his own sobs. "Why am I like this... why can't I stop..." He pressed his forehead hard against the floor, as if punishing himself. He's working for us, for our future. I should be proud. I should be strong.

But the truth gnawed at him: he wasn't strong without Sky. He was nothing but a shell, desperate and pathetic, a lover who couldn't go a single day without the man who owned his heart, his body, his soul.

His voice cracked into a whimper as he slammed his fist weakly against the floor. "I'm going crazy... Sky... I need you... I need you now..."

The sound of his own desperation filled the silence, ugly and broken. He screamed again, louder this time, until his throat burned, until he collapsed against the bed frame, trembling violently. Tears dripped from his chin, pooling onto the floor as his cries dwindled into hiccups.

No matter how much he told himself to endure, the truth remained: Nani couldn't breathe in a world where Sky's presence wasn't wrapped around him.

Nani's cries turned feral, echoing through the room like an animal wounded beyond reason. His hands clawed at his hair until strands came loose, falling around his trembling shoulders. The ache in his chest burned hotter, his ribs constricting like a vice, every breath a jagged knife cutting him from the inside.

He staggered to his feet, swaying, and faced the full-length mirror again. His reflection stared back at him - pale, hollow-eyed, trembling. "Look at you," he whispered bitterly, his voice shredded from screaming. "Pathetic... Sky wouldn't even recognize you."

He raised a trembling hand and pressed it to the glass, then slammed his palm against it once. The mirror rattled. Again. This time a crack appeared, thin and sharp like a spiderweb. "Why..." Another slam. His knuckles split, blood smearing against the fractured surface. "Why can't I stop..."

He slid down the mirror to the floor, smearing streaks of blood and tears as he went. He hugged himself tightly, nails digging into his own skin until they left angry red crescents. His whole body shook with sobs, his forehead pressed to his knees. "Sky... please... come home... I can't-"

He hit the floor with his fist, weak and unsteady now. His sobs slowed, broken hiccups tearing through him. His vision blurred, the room tilting and swaying like water. His chest heaved with shallow, rapid breaths as black spots danced across his sight.

"I can't..." he whispered one last time, voice barely audible, before his head tipped sideways onto the cold floorboards. His body went limp, the tension finally leaving him as unconsciousness claimed him.

The room fell silent except for the faint creak of the cracked mirror and the sound of Nani's uneven breathing - a quiet, fragile rhythm of someone who had given every ounce of his strength to his longing.

Est had been quiet all through the evening, though laughter and warm stories had filled the house. He had noticed the way Nani's face seemed paler than usual, his eyes rimmed red, the way his smile never reached them. Papa had been cheerful, reminiscing, so Est had swallowed his concern. But now, long after everyone had gone to bed, something gnawed at him.

It was instinct - a deep tug in his chest. They were brothers in all but blood, raised together, bound together. Something wasn't right.

So Est padded barefoot through the quiet halls and made his way to Nani's room. He thought he'd simply climb into bed with him like they had when they were children, when the world was simpler, when just the presence of one another was enough.

But when he pushed the door open, his body froze.

The dim lamplight revealed chaos. The mirror fractured with red streaks smeared across it. The bedsheets tangled, pillows thrown to the floor. And there-

Nani, collapsed on the wooden boards, his slender body crumpled unnaturally, blood on his knuckles, tear tracks staining his pale face. His chest rose and fell in shallow, ragged breaths.

"Na-Nani!" Est's scream tore through the silence, raw and desperate. His legs nearly gave out but he forced himself forward, falling to his knees beside his brother. He grabbed his shoulders, shaking lightly, terrified of shaking too hard. "Nani, wake up-please, wake up!"

Nani didn't respond. His lashes lay heavy against his cheeks, lips parted slightly as though caught between breath and silence.

Est's hands trembled as he brushed the damp hair from Nani's forehead. Tears stung his eyes, blurring his vision. "God-Papa! Papa, come quick!" his voice cracked as he shouted, panic filling the entire house.

His grip on Nani tightened as if by holding on he could tether him back to consciousness. "Don't do this... don't you dare do this, Nani. Sky isn't here, but I am. I won't let you break."

The sound of hurried footsteps echoed in the hall - Papa Book rushing toward the scream.

But Est didn't look up. He bent his forehead against Nani's shoulder, his tears soaking into the fabric of Nani's shirt, clinging desperately to him as if love and fear alone could breathe him back to life.