Chapter 15 - Blessing

Chapter 15 – Blessing?

A Few Days Later;

Saturday;

Jeffrey Dean Morgan's House;

Emily Sanders...

During the storm; Jeffrey and I had spent our time; talking and laughing, cuddled up together, kissing so much that I had a touch of beard rash, I had put on foundation to cover the rash – otherwise; my friend, Jeffrey's daughter, would guess straight away what had been happening between me and her father. Jeffrey and I had agreed that we weren't going to tell anyone until we were sure that what was happening was something that was going to last – ever since that talk; I had been hoping against all hope that it was something that was going to last.

I had waited so long for this to happen, in fact I had waited so long that I had managed to convince myself that it would never happen. Never in my wildest dreams of him, had I ever felt this intensely connected to him.

My dad was playing heavy on my mind, in fact I think I may head over to the grave after I helped Jeffrey with the clean-up, since he had stayed to help me with my own clean up. Would my dad be pissed? Would he accept Jeffrey and I? or would he be livid and cut us both off? Deep down, I think I know what he would say, and do. I don't want to admit it out loud, hell I don't even want to admit to myself; because I just know that I would be put in a terrible position where I would have had to chose between the two of them. How could I even think about making that decision?

I feel so completely at peace with Jeffrey and there is no way that I could make a conscious decision. Because now that I have had a taste of him, I don't think that I could make that decision – he is like a drug to me, I want more and more, I am addicted to him.

Since he had walked over to my house in that stupid weather, I was driving us back down to his house; he had helped me clean up the carnage that the storm had caused, it was only fair of me to help him at his house in return. My Slipknot CD was blasting through the speakers; and I reached to turn it down when I realised that he was scrunching his eyes together; as if he just couldn't deal with the music.

I just didn't know how I was going to handle pretending that there was nothing going on with us. However, it was important that we play is easy and safe. How can I though? Look at him – he is one of the most handsome men I had ever known. I just want to reach out and touch him, but instead his hand was resting high up on my thigh – a slow gently caress made me almost melt to a puddle of goo and telling him to come back to mine and screw me to the bed.

"What you thinking?" he suddenly asked.

"Just how hard this is going to be," I admitted, there was no way that I am admitting that I was thinking about asking him to come back to my house and screw me senseless. Especially not when we had agreed that we were going to wait.

"I know," he agreed, "we have to though, I don't want to be around you when I can't touch you..."

"Do you want me to just leave?"

"No!" his response was instant, "the only thing worse than not being able to touch you, is not being able to see you, so please – I want you to stay,"

"Ok," I smiled as I glanced at him – the intensely sultry look in those gorgeous eyes was enough to get me to give in to what he wanted.

My heart was skipping happily, I feel like I am floating on a cloud – this was so much more than I had ever imagined it could be. I am trying so hard to not gush appreciatively because, god damn it, I would find someone that I am dating being overly excited; as a huge turn off, and the last thing I wanted was for him to regret starting something with me.

"You know, I am going to have to head back to Georgia this week,"

"Really?"

"Yes, I don't want to but I have too – they have already pushed filming back for me to be here,"

"So how long will you be gone?" I asked him.

I don't want him to go, I don't want him to be so far away from me, I don't want to lose this connection that we were building, but I understand that he has to work – he has commitments to the job that he did, and he did do it well, very well in fact. Playing Negan; he was going to get a certain amount of abuse from that, but sometimes people find it hard to split the 2 up – Jeffrey was nowhere near like the hateful and sadistic psychopath Negan in the show. I do remember one time; we were all out for coffee and an old lady approached him and whacked him on the back of the head and told him that he was a disgusting man for the things that his character did. My dad and I had sniggered – because as Jeffrey; he is one of those genuinely nice guys, who would stop in the middle of a toilet break to talk to a fan, the only thing that he detested – was fans coming to his house.

"A month, maybe 6-8 weeks," he replied, "there is something that I was thinking about though,"

"What's that?"

"Why don't you come with me?"

Glancing across the car to where he was sat and I could see that it was an idea that made him appear as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. Could I do that? Could I pick up and head out of town? I mean, that would bring some very awkward questions from his daughters, right? Although – it is a very tempting offer.

It would be great to be alone with him again, but then he had all the cast members around, and there always seemed to be some paparazzi lingering around the filming sets – would we be able to keep things hidden? I did always like a challenge.

"What would we tell Paige and Ryan?" I asked him.

"Well, we could say that you want to have a little breather from the club before it opens, and since I will be working a lot, my house is the perfect get away?"

"How long you been thinking about that?" I asked smiling; his response was far too well thought out to have just come to him.

"I was thinking about it last night, you fell asleep and I was just lying there thinking that I don't want to go back to work when we are still so fresh, do you know what I mean?"

Honestly, I did know what he meant, I had been thinking the same thing – we had only just decided that spending time together to get to know one another on another level, and he would be gone a few days after we agreed to that. I guess, I hadn't said anything because I didn't want to be too clingy – the last thing that I want to do is scare him away – I had already admitted that I had liked him for a long time. What the hell had I been thinking when I did that?

I was overcome with peace – like finally the constant hum of my attraction to him, was silenced. It was a very welcomed feeling; it just had me feeling a bit disorientated at the moment and I had burst out with my feelings and was so glad that he hadn't just laughed in my face.

"I understand," I admitted as I pulled the car on to the small driveway of his home and instantly, he moved his hand from my thigh.

"Settled then?"

"Yeah, I want to go with you," I admitted happily.

"Good, I want to get you alone so we can explore this..." he groaned; his eyes sliding down over my body, as if he were mentally undressing me and I feel my face burn with embarrassment and he chuckled a little, more as if he was enjoying the effect that he was having on me.

"Mean!" I whined, pulling the car to a stop at the side of his house, turning the key to kill the engine, I slid out from behind the wheel and started to make my way towards the gate at the back of the house, just before I reached for the handle to the tall wooden gate; I felt his hand grab mine and he twirled me around until I was backed against the wall of the house – slowly his hand let mine go and he brought it to my chin, tilting my head to face him and I felt my heart flutter at the danger of the moment, and before I could object, yeah right like that would ever happen, his lips grazed against mine so lightly, that I felt myself whimper from desperation to be with him.

"Not mean darlin', just enamoured with you!" he gave me that wink and then the most handsome smile I had ever seen.

Jeffrey looked around to make sure that no one was in eyesight, before allowing his hand to lightly slide down the front of my body; stopping just below my belly button – I am a shaking mess now. I literally see fireworks every time I blink.

God help me!

A Few Hours Later;

Jeffrey Dean Morgan...

To say that I am happy would be a very huge understatement. It's amazing to me just how much I really like this woman. I never, in a world of Sundays, would have thought about Emily in the way that I am thinking about her now; but here we are, yes keeping it secret at the moment, but I have a very strong suspicion that I am blowing that, because all my eyes want to do is stare at her.

Out on the decking with Paige, she was laughing with my daughter as they scooped up all the mess that had been left in the wake of the storm.

"Jeffrey?"

"Yeah?" I turned to see my daughter's boyfriend, Charlie stood watching the girls, but I sensed that his eyes were only on my daughter.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I moved to the kettle and flipped the switch to make coffee for everyone – it was definitely needed.

"During the storm, Paige and I were shut in my room, for the majority of it and I came to a very serious, long term realisation," he started as he began playing with his hands, cracking his knuckles nervously, "however, I can't do anything until I talk to you..."

Charlie was sometimes a man of very few words, he seemed to me to be much more of an observer – he'd watch things play out and only then he would say something if he felt it was needed. I like the kid, the truth is – he is so much better for Paige than that donkey ass mcfucker Ryan, Charlie had never once made my daughter cry, which in my eyes is definitely something that has won me over.

"Are you about to ask me for my blessing in asking my daughter to marry you?" I couldn't watch him standing there – running one hand through his hair and the other hand tapping the counter in the kitchen.

"I am," he lifted his head to meet my gaze instantly, "sir,"

I had always known that he was a good kid, but this was much more than I had expected from him. I didn't want to keep him hanging but there was something that I had to say before I give him my blessing.

"Well, there is something that I need from you in turn?"

"Anything,"

"The thing is Charlie; you have never made my little girl cry, and you have never disrespected her. If you can promise me that you will never make her cry sad tears, and you won't ever disrespect her, I can give you my blessing,"

"I was always raised to respect women and protect them in every single situation. I do not have it in me to make Paige cry, and disrespecting here is nothing that I could do – my mother would kill me if I even so much as thought about it," Charlie explained, "the thing is – I love your daughter, with every single fibre of my body; I was half a person when I first met her, and she ignited something in me that I had never known that I could possess – and I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without her by my side. Paige is the most beautiful woman in the world, hell she is the only woman in the world for me, and I can tell you here and now; I want to spend my life making her as happy as she has made me – she is my world,"

"Well, how can I say no to that?" I smiled at him, "but I promise you right now, if you do ever hurt her, you will have me to answer too,"

"I wouldn't expect anything less, sir,"

Would I have had the guts to ask Ben for his daughter's hand in marriage? Where the Hell had that come from? I am not even, entirely sure that Emily and I would even be at this point if Ben had survived. I like to think that I would have finally woken up and seen her the way I see her now, but I am honestly, just not sure that I would have.

Nodding my reply, I busied myself with making everyone coffee, we had about 10 minutes before my ex-wife gets here and Paige will then take off, as much as she loves me, she hates her mother and wants absolutely nothing to do with her. I can't push her to be here, if she doesn't want to be, then she doesn't have to be, and Lizzy understands that.

My ex-wife seems to have worked very hard to get herself sorted out and in a much calmer state. I can only imagine just how hard that must have been for her. Where I don't want to be with the woman – I can support her as much, as I can. I don't want to be the cause that she slips back again and I don't want to get back with her, even if I wasn't starting this thing with Emily.

Charlie headed to the patio doors and told the girls that I was making coffee.

Emily came in and headed straight for me; ensuring that she brushed seductively against me as she reached to the sugar jar for her coffee – I swear this girl has the sweetest tooth I had ever seen and she had always criticized me for not giving her a healthy splash of sugar. My body reacted to her so close, and I had to move and lean against the island in the middle of the kitchen before anyone noticed.

"So, what did you guys do during the storm?" Paige asked, looking from me to Emily and back again. Could she see that something was happening between us? No, she is just making conversation, surely, right?

"Well, your dad scared the hell out of me by the way," Emily started, "that first night, I had been having a panic attack, then I heard the front door slam, so I moved into the panic room, turned on the cameras, and eventually realised it was your dad!"

She hadn't told me that she had been having a panic attack; but then why would you mention that when I had literally burst into her room and pinned her to the wall, as I finally kissed her. Just the thought of that moment, had my tummy tumbling around excitedly.

"You couldn't have given her a heads-up dad?"

"I didn't even think about that, to be honest," I admitted as honestly as I could, "it all worked out anyway," stealing a glance at Emily, knowing that she knew what I meant, the smile curled up the corners of her lips into the beautiful smile she had. "Anyway, we spend the majority of the time talking about Ben and sharing stories about him,"

"Well, come on now, Jeffrey – you missed out a huge part of the story," Emily stated and I felt the fear hit me, was she just going to announce it right now?

"What's that now?" Paige asked, as she and Charlie looked from me to Emily and back again.

"Well, I am in no shape or form able to cook for anyone, let alone myself – so your dad wanted to teach me to cook, but since we didn't know how long the storm was going to be – we didn't want to use up all of the generator,"

"Ems, you really need to let my dad teach you to cook," Paige laughed, "it's time to learn, and dad is a great cook,"

"Thanks kid," I interjected.

We all sat down at the table, Emily across the table from me – seemed quiet as we started talking, and when I felt her leg slide up my leg, I knew that she was going to make this as difficult for me as possible. The smile spread over her face; making me just want to grab her and take her to my room; and screw her to my bed. My eyes remained distracted by her as she slid her tongue over her lips in a movement designed to drive me out of my mind and it worked.

I was relieved to hear the front door bell ringing, but far too uncomfortable to stand up and walk to the door.

"I'll get it on our way out," Paige stood up, followed by Charlie and left the kitchen.

"What are you trying to do to me?" I asked the minute we were alone.

"Just having a little fun babe," she smiled at me sweetly, and I knew in that moment, I am completely at her mercy.

Before I could reply, Lizzy walked into the kitchen and I got the shock of my life; she had styled and dyed her hair the colour that Emily's was, she had done her make-up the way Emily did, and she was wearing a very similar outfit that she had seen Emily wearing the last time Emily had been here.

This is not good.

At all.

I am in no way conceited enough to assume this was an attempt to get me back, but the fact that I had confessed to her how I feel about Emily, I can't help but think that this was a very blatant attempt to get me back. The thing is – Emily's look is her own, no one but her could pull the look off. Lizzy was a very bad imitation and I hate thinking that way, but it is definitely the way I feel.

Paige appeared behind her mom in the kitchen; her eyes very confused about what was happening here, she was motioning her hand in a circular movement at the side of her head – the worldwide gesture of saying someone is crazy.

Did Lizzy actually think that this normal behaviour? Did she believe that she would get me, if she looked like Emily?

What the Hell have I done?