Writing on the wall

Chuuya didn't know what to do as he waited for Dazai to return. He felt guilty, to say the least, he shouldn't have kissed Dazai like that when Atsushi was in the house. And he especially not... touched Dazai like that. What was he thinking? That wasn't like him, Chuuya was never that confident.

He groaned and tugged at his hair, watching the seconds on the clock tick by. Would everything be okay with Atsushi? What would Dazai tell him?

Chuuya looked around the room and noticed a small dresser. He walked over to it, glancing over the various picture frames placed on it.

There was a young Dazai, no older than 3, captured in a childlike giggle as he was hoisted into the air by a beautiful young woman in a sun dress. There was a slightly older Dazai, maybe 7 or 8, his face full of awe as he stared down at a baby with white tufts of hair, wrapped in a light blue blanket. There was a young teenage Dazai, surrounded by other boys his age dressed in basketball uniforms, celebrating excessively as they held up a gold trophy with coils of orange ribbon.

But the one that caught his eye, the one that made him stop in his tracks, was one of Chuuya. His blue eyes were more blue, his hair more orange than red, and dirt smudged across his face. But what was truly captivating was Dazai next to him, wrapping his arms around the smaller and looking down at him with a small smile on his lips as Chuuya beamed at the camera.

Chuuya didn't know when the photo was taken, they looked about 9 or 10, probably pre-middle school. Chuuya didn't even know the two knew each other then. They looked happy and careless. The photo was taken before everything went to shit for Chuuya. He felt envious of the younger him, so innocent and content. Dazai too, he was looking at Chuuya with an expression he could have sworn he'd seen before, but couldn't put a finger on it. Whatever emotion it was, Dazai didn't feel it anymore.

The door swung back open as Dazai stepped through the door, sighing.

"Listen Chuuya we need to put an end to this and- You're crying," Dazai stopped with alarm.

Chuuya hadn't even realized it, but now he could feel the salty tears dripping from his cheeks, "I-" He began, "I can't lose you. Not yet."

Dazai's face softened, "You won't."

"But you just said we needed to end this... and I really, really need you."

"Really?" Dazai asked softly.

Chuuya nodded, "I don't need you to date me, or like me, or find me attractive, or anything. But you are the first person to ever make me feel like I don't hate myself and everything around me so..."

"You want me to stay," Dazai looked down.

Chuuya wiped his eyes, "Yeah. Even for just a bit. Even if just for sex."

Dazai sighed and gestured to the bed, "Sit down, and here," He handed the redhead a tissue.

"Thanks," Chuuya sniffed and took the tissue.

Dazai knelt down in front of him as if he were an apathetic child.

"If- And I mean if, I stay, there will be rules of engagement," Dazai waited for Chuuya to nod, "First of all, there can be no expectations that I will fall in love with you, you cannot be hoping for us to date. Also, I'm not taking you on any dates, no matter how much sex we have, no movies, no picnics, no nothing."

"But," Chuuya began, choosing his words carefully, "You can't leave afterward, you have to stay the night at least, even if you sleep on the couch. And I need aftercare, even if we just sit and eat together or talk."

Dazai nodded thoughtfully, "That is only fair. I can do that for you. Also, we both have to be sober and have given full and clear consent."

"Yes, and can you promise me something?"

"Sure."

"Don't sleep with anyone else. If you want to date someone, break it off with me first."

"Of course. But no one can know about this, and things at school must remain normal. Unless we are having sex, we are friends."

Chuuya bit his lip, "Can you..." He trailed off.

"Can I what?" Dazai placed a hand on Chuuya's knee.

"Can you at least act like you love me when we have sex, like as if you think I'm... pretty, and cool, and... I don't know."

Dazai smiled sadly, "I will always think you're pretty and cool, and I will do that for you, so long as you promise not to cry anymore."

Chuuya wiped his eyes, "I really wish I could kiss you right now but..."

"I know," Dazai pulled away and stood up, "I'm sorry."

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Chuuya went home almost immediately after. Dazai offered to drive him since it was hot out but Chuuya thought he needed a walk.

He considered himself lucky. Things could have gone a lot worse. At least they didn't seem to loathe each other as much.

Chuuya sighed. It was odd, he didn't feel sad, nor did he feel happy. He felt an unusual mixture of nervous giddiness and apathetic tiredness. Maybe he just needed a nap.

When he showed up at his front door he was basically dragging his feet along the pavement as he sweated buckets. He basically collapsed through the doorway and struggled his way to the kitchen as he splashed cool water over his face in the sink.

"Tough day?" He heard Louisa's voice.

"Yeah," Chuuya dabbed his face dry, "I guess you could say that."

"Anything I could help with?"

Chuuya shook his head, "Probably not, thanks though."

"Let me guess, more teenage drama?"

Chuuya laughed, "Yeah that would be correct."

Louisa gave him a soft smile, "Alright, just take care of yourself, okay? You're still a kid."

Chuuya smiled, "Yeah I will."

Louisa ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, "Love you kiddo."

"Love you too," Chuuya grabbed a juice box from the fridge.

"And shower, you smell," Louisa picked up a basket of dirty laundry.

"I'm back," Margaret yelled from the doorway.

"Hi," Chuuya replied.

"Ooh," Margaret walked into the kitchen and took a sip from Chuuya's juice box.

Chuuya laughed, "Oi!"

"Mmm, thanks, it's so hot out," She squeezed Chuuya's shoulders and went to kiss Louisa, "I'll cook dinner tonight, babe, you just rest."

Louisa hummed and smiled, "Can I really trust you in the kitchen? We don't want you burning the house down."

"I won't even use the stove," Margaret laughed and kissed her again.

There was this look on Louisa's face that spiked a feeling of familiarity through Chuuya. The image of Dazai smiling as he gazed down at Chuuya in the photograph came to mind, the same look teasing at the edge of his features. It was almost a look of pure admiration, of honesty and trust, it was almost like love.

Now that opens up a huge can of worms. 

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A/N:

WOAH 2 chapters in one day! You guys are lucky I'm bored af at school.

Sad chapter sorrrrry.