CHAPTER NINE

It's already Monday and I am studying.. well scanning my notes for my class tomorrow. My classmates were basically having their class now at California. I read a lot already and alam ko din naman ang mga yun pero binabasa ko pa din. Napatigil lang ako ng biglang nagbeep ang phone ko.

From: Madzilla

Hey Bea! Nasa usual spot kami,punta ka dito we need to talk about something.

To: Madzilla

I can't nagrereview ako.

From: Madzilla

Ang arte nito!come here na kasi

To: Madzilla

Hindi talaga pwede mads.

After a minute my phone rang.

"Maddie? I can't go talaga--".

"Wag kang mag-alala Bea last time na namin tong yayayain kang lumabas". Malamig niyang sabi

I grinned,she said that as if it was the last call she'll make to me pero hindi naman binaba.I sighed,do I have a choice now?

"Okay I'll be there in a minute,aasikasuhin ko lang ang anak ko". Sabi ko at agad na binaba ang linya pero bago ko binaba yun ay narinig ko pa ang halakhak ni Maddie.

When I arrived at the our spot,it's a cafeteria that became our favorite spot when we went to Ateneo for college.

"Hi Bei! Wooh!". They cheer as I walk to their table,they were in the center part of the cafe.

"Shh". Suway ko at agad na umupo.

"WOOOH BDL is in the house!". Shouted Jules.

"Shh wag kayong maingay nakakahiya kayo". Suway ko ulit.

"Sus let it be Bea,okay lang yan sa kanila. Diba guys?". now it's Ponggay's time to shout.

"Of course.. anyway welcome back ate Bea sana bumalik ka na ng Ateneo". Sabi nung isa mula sa katapat lang naming table.

I smile shyly at him and just nodded.We started eating,while we talk about our lives at syempre sakin lahat ng tanong.

"Was it hard ate Bei na ikaw lang mag-isa nun? Like how did get your craving ang tindi pa naman ng mga buntis sa pagkain". Tanong ni Jules,she's with us and so as Dani who is quietly eating and smiling.

"Hmm okay lang naman,I was still able to eat everything that I want before". Sagot ko at medyo na conscious na dahil sa reaksyom ni Dani,even if she is just smilings and talking to me normally.

That was the last question thrown to me and we started talking about Keifer and Ate Alyssa's status. We also read some of the fan's tweets tungkol sa mga napapansin nila sa dalawa at natatawa kami kapag nagjojoke ang mga ito. We bond and that feels good,to be able to catch up with them.

After eating,we all went to a neariest mall and buy clothes,shoes even bags pero mas marami ata kaming nabili para kay Davin. They bought a lot of clothes and toys kaya naman nagkandakuba ako sa pagbitbit ng mga ito. At ang magaling Kong mga kaibigan di pa Ako magawang tulungan.

"Ate Bei last shop nalang ito talaga ang the best for kids clothes eh my sister always buy here and ang ganda talaga". I just nodded so they all went in.

Nagpaiwan nalang ako sa labas. Tinatamad na ako. I just stand outside the shop and I just placed the paperbags beside my feet.

Some of the people who passed by were so shock upon recognizing me. I just smiled at them ang iba naman ay nagpapicture. My phone beep kaya kinuha ko yun,my brows furrowed when I saw its Jules IG story where I was mentioned. Napailing nalang ako ng makita Ang caption," watch ate @_ beadel struggle,go hot momma". That was just not right,but I just shrugged it off.

"Very funny". Sarkastiko kong sabi at itinapat sa mukha ni Jules Ang cellphone ko.

All of them laughed. I rolled my eyes as we began to walk again.Buti nalang at nagdecide na din silang umuwi,naawa din siguro sakin. When we were at the parking lot we were about to get in the car, Kay Maddie ako sasabay dahil na kay Thirdy pa ang kotse ko and so I took the taxi earlier.

Pero bago ko maisakay sa kotse ni Maddie ang mga paperbags huminto sa gilid ko ang isang kotse,ang kotse ko to be exact. And when that sank up tumibok ng mabilis ang puso ko at hindi maalis doon ang tingin ko.

I saw Thirdy who's fully dressed,went out of the car. Napalunok Ako ng sa akin dumiretso ang paningin niya. He waved at me. Hindi Naman Ako nakapgreact.

"Bea! I brought your car with me sakin ka na sumabay". He said,pero nakatitig lang Ako sa kaniya,I blinked many times and gather myself before nodding.

Nakita at narinig ko ang impit na tili ng mga kaibigan ko,Thirdy greeted them.

"Sus wag kayong issue Lalo ka na Dani,lagot ka sakin". Aniya at ginulo Ang buhok ni Dani.

"Sush so bakit may pa sundo na?". Si Jules.

"Wag mo ng alamin kulot,ingat kayo ha". Sagot Naman ni Thirdy.

My friends were just quitely observing but I can see Ponggay and Kianna bumping their elbows,and trying to stop themselves to laugh. Pinandidilatan naman ako ng mga mata  ni Maddie and all I could do was just to look away. Well what can I do? Do I have a choice?

Nakipag-asaran pa sandali si Thirdy kina Kianna at Jho kaya naman lumapit agad si Deanna at Maddie sakin.

"Ano ba to ate Bei? Bakit nasa kaniya Ang sasakyan mo? Don't tell me..".

"Stop! Deanna". Suway ko at ikinuwento sa kanila ang nangyari kahapon.

"Ahh pero ate Bei.." si Deanna at napapadyak pa.

"Shh Deanna,don't worry it's just a hatid. Wag kang mag-alala hanggang don lang yun". I assured her.

"Okay basta ha".

"Sus Deanna paghilom na bi". Suway ni Maddie,I know shes just keeping her mouth shut dahil ayaw niya akong pangunahan.

After a minute ay lumapit na din si Thirdy sakin,he bid goodbye to Deanna and Maddie,pinanlakihan ko lang ng mata si Deanna at Maddie at nagbye-bye na ako sa iba naming kasama. Kinuha namam ni Thirdy lahat ng paperbags na dala ko for Davin.

When we get in his car. Walang nagsasalita. Tumikham ako at nag-seatbelt,nilingon niya ako at tipid na nginitian bago siya nagdrive. Maya-maya pa ay tumikham din siya at nagsalita.

"Oo nga pala Bei, dumiretso na ako dito when I saw Jules' IG story,I was about to bring back the car pero naisip kong dito nalang". Tumango lang ako,I can't really talk dahil baka mag-stutter ako.

"Okay lang naman sayo Diba?". Tumango lang ulit ako at tipid na ngumiti.

Hindi na siya nagsalita pagkatapos nun,siguro ramdam niyang ayaw ko makipag-usap.

When we arrive at our house,bababa na sana Ako pero hinawakan ni ang seatbelt causing the seatbelt so I can't remove it easily.

"What?" Nagtataka Kong tanong.

Huminga siya ng malalim at seryoso akong tinitigan.

"Bea.. can we cut the bullshit off?". Aniya at seryoso pa rin ang mukha

"Kasi Bea,whatever happen in the past will stay in the past. Pwede naman tayo maging magkaibigan here in the present Diba?". Nakikiusap niyang Sabi sakin.

" I want our friendship back",patuloy niya.

Friendship..friend

"But.. it's not that easy Thirdy". Sagot ko at sinalubong ang titig niya.

"I know it's not easy to be with me,we can't be together,we can't  be lovers just like before but can we atleast be friends?". Pahina ng pahina ang boses na aniya.

Lumunok muna ako at huminga ng malalim.

"But.. nasaktan kita Thirdy". Mahina ko ding sagot.

"And so?".

"Everytime I see you I can't help but to feel guilty about it and you know guilt isn't a nice a feeling".

Lie! Hindi kasi matigil sa pagtibok ang puso ko pagmalapit ka and I'm so close on admitting that this beating I feel is not normal anymore but because I still love you despite of all the things I did just to stop myself from feeling this way.

Despite the strong urge to say it,I just couldn't dahil alam kong Hindi na pwede.

"Then stop feeling that way and just be friends with me again,I miss my good friend already". He said smiling.

That made me smile too,a genuine one. What did I do to have you in my life? Despite everything..

"Why?". I had to ask

"Because my life will never be complete without you Bea,good or bad past it's fine as long as your here". Sensero niyang sabi.

I can feel that he's really meant it. Pumikit ako at dumilat.

Being friends is okay naman.. with boundaries nga lang dahil I can't risk everything especially my son. I sighed and open my eyes after closing it.

"Okay friends". Sabi ko at inabot Ang kamay ko for a hand shake.