Chapter 36 - Daryl

The sun was just starting to peek in through the kitchen window.

Ruby was on my hip, soft and warm and making little baby noises against my shoulder while I stirred oatmeal in a pot.

No table.

Just the damn island.

But it was home.

Bare-boned and half-empty since the Saviors stripped it clean—but Ella was upstairs, safe. Ian was still snoring. And Ruby? She was here. With me.

I kissed her fuzzy head.

I wanted another baby.

Bad.

It didn't hit me how much until lately.

Ruby had grown so fast. Ian was a little man already. And me?

I'd give them the moon. But I wanted more.

I wanted another round of it—Ella waddling around complaining about back pain while she smiled down at her belly like it was the only thing that mattered.

I wanted to build something. A life. A legacy.

Not just survival. More.

I stirred the oatmeal slower, heart thumping in my chest like I was fifteen damn years younger.

I'd die for that woman.

But right now?

I was living for her.

For them.

For the maybe already taking root in her belly.

~

The sun was out.

Real sun.

Warm. Bright. Didn't feel like death hanging over us for once.

Ian was already screaming out in the backyard—something about being a walker slaying pirate king—and Ella was sitting on the porch step with a mug in her hand, her legs stretched out, looking like she might actually breathe for a damn minute.

And Ruby?

She was on the blanket right in front of us.

Wobbling.

Rocking a little on her belly.

Hands pressed down like she was thinking about it.

Ella nudged my leg with her foot.

"She's gonna crawl again," she whispered.

"Nah," I muttered. "She always rocks back."

"She's gonna do it," she said again, eyes wide, mug frozen halfway to her lips.

And then—

Ruby shifted her weight—

Lifted one hand—

And crawled.

Just one inch forward.

Then another.

Then another.

Like she'd been waiting until the whole damn family was watching to pull out her big trick.

Ella gasped. "OH—OH MY GOD—"

My heart stopped.

"Did you see that?! Daryl—did you see that?!"

"I saw it," I choked.

Ian screamed from across the yard. "SHE MOVED! SHE'S CRAWLING!! MOM—SHE'S CRAWLING!!!"

He barreled over, nearly tripping over his own feet, arms flailing as he collapsed down beside her.

"Do it again, Ruby! Go go go!"

Ruby blinked, confused by the audience, then kept going.

Ella let out this watery, gaspy little laugh and reached for me, her hand clinging to my arm like she needed proof she wasn't dreaming.

"I can't—she crawled, Daryl—she really did it—"

I didn't say a word.

Just crouched down slow. Reached out and brushed Ruby's soft little curls back. Kissed her head.

My heart was too full.

She looked up at me and gave the tiniest squeal, then tried to eat the grass.

Ian laughed so hard he fell over.

Ella wiped her eyes.

And me?

I couldn't stop smiling.

Even if my heart felt like it was about to burst.

Ella was leaned against my side.

My arm around her shoulders, her head tucked just under my chin.

Ruby was still wriggling in the grass, drooling all over herself, and Ian was chasing a butterfly like it owed him money.

The sun hit her hair just right.

And I swear I forgot how to breathe for a second.

"We're gonna be outnumbered." I said softly, watching Ruby start to army-crawl her way toward Ian's muddy boot.

Ella hummed against my chest. "What, kid-wise?"

"Yeah."

She looked up at me, suspicious. "What are you plotting, Dixon?"

I tried to keep a straight face.

Failed.

Shrugged. "Just thinkin'. If we have another... could be two against three."

She arched a brow. "Oh? You already making plans to knock me up again?"

I kissed her hair. "Already did, remember?"

She snorted. "You don't know that I'm pregnant yet."

"I feel it," I said with absolute confidence.

She rolled her eyes and snuggled closer, but I felt the smile in her voice. "You really want another?"

I glanced at Ruby, who had managed to crawl halfway into Ian's lap and was now trying to eat his shirt.

"I want a whole damn houseful if it means more moments like this," I whispered. "But yeah. I do."

Ella was quiet for a second.

Then—softly: "Do you think it'll be another girl?"

"Maybe." I squeezed her tighter. "Kinda hopin' for another boy this time."

She smiled, slow and soft. "You just want to outnumber me and Ruby."

"Exactly."

She leaned her head against my shoulder, eyes on Ruby as Ian tried to hand her a rock.

And we sat there.

In the sun.

With our babies in the grass and another maybe resting somewhere between her heartbeat and mine.

"Ruby—no, no, no, that's grass, not food—"

Ella was halfway leaned off the porch, reaching down to scoop our daughter off the lawn before she could shove a full fist of dirt into her mouth.

Ruby squealed like we'd just ruined the best meal of her life.

Ian, of course, was doing wide, wild laps around the yard, pretending to be "King Ian the Invincible Ninja."

"Don't trip over her," I warned, watching him barrel around again with a stick in his hand and his shirt flapping off one shoulder.

"I won't!" he called back, right before nearly toppling over Ruby with a skidding stop.

Ella groaned. "We need a fence. Or a baby bubble."

I reached over, caught her hand, pulled her back to lean against me.

Ruby crawled in circles on the blanket, hiccuping and making wet noises like she was trying to digest the grass she'd already snuck past us.

Ian was scaling a stump like it was Mount Doom.

And me?

I couldn't stop smiling.

Even as I sighed. "We sure we want another?"

Ella laughed, leaned into my chest. "We're already outnumbered, babe."

"Not yet."

She gave me a look. "You still think it's already happened?"

"Damn right I do."

"Mmhm." She let her head rest against my shoulder. "So what's the verdict then, Dixon? You knew Ruby was a girl, remember?"

I grinned. "Felt it."

"And now?"

I watched Ruby flop onto her belly like a sea slug, face-plant into the blanket, and then try to eat a corner of it.

Ian screamed something unintelligible from the stump.

Ella looked at me, one eyebrow raised.

I shrugged. "Got nothin' yet."

She smiled. "Good. Me neither."

"Guess we'll wait to see this time."

"Guess we will."

I kissed her temple.

Ruby hiccupped.

Ian fell off the stump and shouted, "I'M OKAY!"

And then—

Three knocks.Hard. Rhythmic.Not urgent. But loaded.

Ella sat up straighter beside me.Didn't have to look to know who it was.

Sure enough, when I opened the door, Rick stood there. Michonne beside him. Aaron behind them, arms folded tight.

Ella moved up next to me, her eyes already narrowing just a little.

Rick nodded. "We need to talk."

Ella crossed her arms. "That's never a good start."

Michonne got right to it. "We're putting together a scouting run. Not the big supply group yet—just someone ahead of the rest. We need eyes on the road. Quiet ones."

"They'll be back soon," Rick added. "The Saviors. And if we don't have what they want..."

"They'll take it anyway," I muttered, jaw tight.

Rick's eyes flicked toward the kids in the yard. "We need someone who can move without being seen. Someone who knows the back routes."

Ella's hand tightened on my arm. I felt it before she even spoke.

"I'll go," she said, chin tilting up.

Rick shook his head before the words finished leaving her mouth. "No. I need you here. If there's any trouble while we're gone—if the Saviors show up—you know how to handle things inside the walls. You know the people. And..." He hesitated just a second. "We can't risk you out there. Not with Negan's... interest."

Ella's jaw clenched hard, but she didn't argue.

Rick turned to me. "I'm asking you, Daryl. Just you. In and out. Fast and quiet."

I didn't like it.Neither did she.

But we both knew I was the right one for the job.

I nodded. "I'll do it."

Ian popped up beside us, beaming. "Me too!"

All of us turned.

He was standing tall, holding his stick like it was a sword. Covered in dirt. Wide-eyed. Proud.

"I can help," he said. "I wanna protect Mommy. I can look for food, and supplies, and I know how to fight!"

Ella crouched in front of him, voice soft but firm. "Baby, you're five."

"I'm five and a half!" he insisted, puffing up his chest.

That made Aaron crack a smile. Just a little.

Ella reached out and brushed his messy curls back, trying not to let her voice shake. "You're brave. So brave. But we need you here. Someone's gotta protect me and Ruby. Right?"

Ian glanced toward his sister, who was busy chewing on her sock like she was practicing to eat a walker.

He frowned. "But... what if the bad guys come back? What if they try to take Mommy again?"

I crouched down beside him, my voice low. Solid. "Then I'll bring her home. Just like I always do."

Ian's lip wobbled. "Promise?"

"Swear on my life."

Ella bent forward and kissed the top of his head, closing her eyes for just a second too long.

"Okay," Ian whispered. "But you better bring snacks when you come back."

Ella gave him a teary little smile. "Deal."

~

Ella sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers moving over the gear I'd laid out like she was memorizing every damn piece of it.

She wasn't packing her own bag this time.She was helping me with mine.

Tucked a knife into the side pouch. Tightened the straps. Checked the edges of the blades with fingers that were too calm for the storm behind her eyes.

I stood across the room, watching her.

She looked like a soldier.

She wasn't coming this time. But she still looked ready for war.The world had made her that way.

But she was also mine.

And every time I walked out that door—leaving her and the kids behind—that same old itch started burning in my chest.

The one that sounded an awful lot like what if I don't come back this time?

Ella looked up at me.Softened.

She crossed the room slow, her boots scuffing the floor, stopping just close enough for her hands to slide up my chest.

My arms came around her waist before I could even think.

We stood there like that.

Just breathing.

"I hate this part," she whispered against my shirt.

"I know."

"I just... I want you here. With me. With the kids. Not out there."

"I know, El."

She tipped her head back, eyes glassy but strong.

"Promise me you'll come home," she whispered.

I cupped her face, my thumb brushing the corner of her mouth.

"Always."

She leaned up and kissed me.

Not frantic.Not desperate.Just real.

Just us.

When she pulled back, her forehead pressed against mine, her breath still warm against my lips.

Her voice dropped, so soft I almost didn't catch it.

"I still want one more," she whispered.

I blinked. "One more...?"

Her lips tilted into the faintest smile. "Baby."

My throat went tight.

"You sure?" I rasped.

"No," she admitted, voice breaking on a soft laugh. "But that's never stopped us before."

I huffed out something like a laugh, something like a sob, pulling her close and burying my face in her hair.

"Alright, El," I whispered. "One more."

And as I held her there, I swore to myself—I'd come home.No matter what it took.

The pack was heavier than it should've been.Didn't have much in it—just the bare essentials. But my boots felt like they weighed a hundred pounds each as I crossed the porch.

Ella stood in the doorway, arms folded tight over her chest like she was holding herself together by sheer force of will. Her eyes never left me.

Ian was by her side, trying to stand tall. Trying to be brave.

But that little chin of his was already starting to wobble. His bottom lip stuck out in that stubborn way he got from Ella.

I crouched down in front of him, eye level.

He stared at me hard. Fierce.

"I'm gonna help," he whispered, his voice thin and cracking. "I'm stayin' with Mommy. Gonna protect her."

My throat felt tight. "That's a big job."

"I can do it."

I nodded slow. "I know you can."

He sniffed and wiped at his eyes with the back of his little fist, then dug something out of his pocket.

Held it out to me with a trembling hand.

It was a rock.Rough and misshapen. Painted half-blue from some project they did a while back.

"My lucky rock," he said. "Take it. For protection."

I stared at it. Couldn't breathe for a second.

"Thanks, bud," I rasped, curling it tight in my palm like it was made of gold. "Means more than you know."

He nodded hard, but tears slipped past his stubborn little glare anyway.

And then—

Ruby started fussing.

Squirmed against Ella's shoulder, chubby little hands reaching out for me, her soft voice babbling "Da-da-da-da" like she didn't understand why I wasn't holding her.

That broke me.

I kissed Ian's head one last time, stood, and reached over to kiss Ruby's cheek.

She grabbed my shirt with one tiny fist and wouldn't let go.

Ella gently untangled her fingers, eyes glassy, but she didn't let herself cry.

Not yet.

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Come back to me, Daryl."

I leaned in, pressed my forehead to hers.

"Always."

I pulled back, forced my legs to move.

Made it to the gate before I turned back—just once.

Ian was waving hard, his little chest puffed out, his other hand tight in Ella's.

Ruby was gnawing on her fist, watching me go with those big, innocent eyes.

And Ella?

Ella stood strong on that porch, holding our babies like she was holding the whole damn world together.

And right then, I swore—No matter what was waiting for me out there—I'd crawl back if I had to.

~

The woods were too quiet.Sun was starting to slip low, stretching long shadows across the path ahead.

Didn't like it.

Didn't like the way every sound felt sharper out here without her voice beside me, without Ian's laugh echoing up from behind a tree, without Ruby's little squeals cutting through the quiet.

I adjusted the strap of my pack and kept moving.

One boot in front of the other.Like every step was a promise I meant to keep.

But damn if it didn't hurt.

When the wind kicked up and the trees groaned low and old, that's when my fingers found it again.

The rock.

Warm from my pocket. The paint chipping a little on the edges. That weird half-blue color Ian swore made it "extra lucky."

My thumb ran over it slow.

And for a second, I was back there—on the porch.

Ella standing tall, fighting not to fall apart.Ian standing taller than he ever had, even with tears in his eyes.And Ruby—reaching for me like she could still pull me back.

I squeezed the rock tight.

"Hold it together, Dixon," I muttered under my breath. "Get through this. Go home."

Home.

That word used to mean walls and doors.

Now?It was Ella's laugh.Ian's proud little stomp when he declared he was in charge.Ruby's chubby hands grabbing at my beard like it was her personal teether.

And until I could feel those things again—hold 'em all close—I wasn't gonna stop.

Didn't care if the path got dark.Didn't care if the Saviors were waiting out there with every bad thing I could imagine.

I'd take every mile, every shadow, every fight.

Because I was bringing myself back to them.

And nothing—not this world, not the Saviors, not Hell itself—was gonna stop me.

The forest had that kind of quiet I didn't like.

Too still.Too easy.

The trail Rick marked on the map wasn't supposed to curve this way.But there it was.

A faint path, cut through the underbrush, dirt pressed down in a line that didn't belong.

I crouched low beside the tree, eyes locked on that crude symbol carved deep into the bark.

The Saviors had been through here.

Not long ago either—prints were fresh, earth still damp under the topsoil.

Could've been scouts. Could've been more.

Didn't matter.

This route was blown.

I ran a hand through my hair, breathing slow, forcing my heartbeat to settle even though every instinct screamed to turn around and bolt back to the gates.

But I couldn't.

Not yet.

They needed food. Medicine. Anything we could trade to keep those bastards from bleeding us dry when they came back.

I stood, quiet as a shadow, and doubled back the way I came.

Took the long way around to the car I'd stashed behind that old collapsed barn off the south road.

Didn't even waste time climbing behind the wheel before I yanked the map out from under the seat.

My eyes scanned the marked routes—

Crossed one off with a thick slash of frustration.

"Alright... where the hell else?" I muttered.

There was a stretch of road further east—longer, rougher terrain, but there was a chance it hadn't been picked clean.

Old farmhouses. Maybe a hunting cabin if the place hadn't been burned out.

It was a risk.

But Hell, that's all we had left.

I folded the map, started the car, and headed east.

One more shot.

And then I was heading home.

No matter what.