Helpless night

"NO! STOP!"

His eyes opened and he squinted to see in the dark. Within a moment he could make out her figure besides, being the source of the voice.

"Please leave me! I- I"

The same nightmare again. He leaned over and gently took her sweaty hand in his. With the other hand he stroked her hair and called out to her. "Sindhuja?!"

"Please! No!..."

He kept stroking her head. "Sindhu... It's okay... Calm down..."

"HELP! No Please.... HELP!!"

"Sindhu!...."

He squeezed her hand this time and she woke up breathing heavily. "NO... NO!"

He held her by the shoulders as she panicked.

"Sindhu, It's me!.."

"No, Please! I-"

"Shhh!... Calm down..."

He took her hand and held it on his cheek. Her hands trailed across his face, feeling his familiar features and then the dark hair behind. She slowly recognised him as he whispered softly,"It's just me, Rosogolla..."

She gave a deep sigh and her hand came down back to herself.

He tucked the messed, sweat-drenched hair on her face behind the ear and ran his hands down her shoulders across her arm, locking them behind her waist. Slowly pulling her closer, he engulfed her in a warm embrace. "It's okay... You're safe..."

She sniffed into his chest, and he knew she was crying again.

"I'm here darling... I'm here..."

He felt the fabric of his kurta become wet at the front with her tears. This new treatment from the other doctor really wasn't working out. Just five days since they visited this clinic and started a more homeopathic treatment, but her health had already started to deteriorate as warned before, and these medicines were clearly not doing their job. Besides, they had stopped her sleeping pills which led to such disturbed nights for her often now.

Her hitched breathe slowed down after some time and he guessed she was fine again. Slowly separating from her, he carefully kissed on her forehead avoiding the white bandage noticeable even in the dark.

"Okay now?"

She took a moment to answer, wiping her eyes. "Hmm."

He looked towards the alarm clock behind on the desk and sighed. "12:30... Still a lot of time to morning. Sleep now, Rosogolla."

She frowned. "Can I take the sleeping pills?"

"No, sweetheart. They aren't good for you."

"I- I can't sleep without them... Please?" Her voice was desperate like a child asking for something, but he decided to remain firm despite how much it gnawed at his own heart."Nope. No means no."

"Please!..." Her eyes shone again and voice trailed off into a mere whisper.

He cupped her face. "I know it's difficult; but please, please understand Sindhu... They make your health worse later."

"I really can't..."

"You can; you'll have to..."

"But-"

"For my sake? Please?"

She looked down and sighed. He had won here.

The silence they sat in for a few moments broke with her hesitant voice. "Can I- ask you for something?"

His brows rose up. "Of course, darling! What is it?"

He noticed her fidgeting fingers even before she started talking. "Don't get mad but I... I could sleep easily after we... We did..."

She didn't have to complete the sentence, because she saw his eyes widen in understanding."What?! Do you know how weak you are at the moment?"

"I know; but I'm not that feeble to not be able to handle it..."

"No Sindhu." He declared looking away.

"I know, trust me..."

"But I can't trust myself... Not around you. I don't want to end up hurting you more. Please, no."

"Mitter babu," Her hands crept to the front-buttons near the neck of his kurta, "You've never been dangerous or something with it. I trust you."

"Those times were different! Now your health is in a different state..."

She stopped and looked straight at him. "I'm asking you because I need it. I've shut off emotionally for too long, I need to feel something."

"Sindhu you-"

"Mitter babu..." Her voice came all silk, the one he always struggled to resist.

He shook his head to remain in control of himself as her hands had now undid the three buttons up on his kurta while she bore her doe-like eyes into his, which never failed to bewitch him. "This is not the way. No..."

"None others worked. Please..." And she rose up on her knees holding his collar to kiss on his forehead, cheeks, and then his lips just the way he liked, while purposefully letting the saree drop from her shoulder.

Breaking off, she saw him hands still on his sides, clutching to the bedsheets breathing heavily while his gaze remained down. "Sindhu, don't..." He was clearly struggling.

She brought her lips close to his ears and whispered. "I need this. I really do. And you need it too."

Without giving him a chance to react she shifted to his neck, kissing and sucking while settling on his lap. He still held on as her hands trailed to his kurta, taking it off him. He didn't protest or retort when she did so, but pressed his eyes shut. Pushing him down to lie on the bed, she ran a hand over his torso while slowly moving closer, kissing in the crook of his neck while she reached on top of him.

He uttered her name again, his arms slowly enveloping around her.

Then, he gave in.