43 - MEDICINE

[ MEDICINE ]

༺═──────────────═༻

   "Two meals a day for people working as hard as ours, we won't make any friends." Bellamy stated as Sayah and Clarke trailed behind him, entering the room with supplies. Raven stood high on a ladder, sparks flying around her as she. . . did whatever Raven did. Sayah smiled at the sight.

"Well, if there's one thing our people understand, its rationing." Clarke replied. "Besides, once we close those doors, it'll be one meal a day for the next five years."

Sayah passed some frozen meat to Bellamy to stock. "Sounds amazing." She drawled.

"Try one meal every other day." Raven corrected as she stopped working and descended from the ladder. "Hunting parties are coming back with less and less. Thanks to your friend Niylah, we're preserving more meat than ever, but it's still not enough. Without a way to make water, growing our own protein like we did on the Ark is not an option." She nudged Bellamy. "Remember that when we're starving."

"I won't be starving because I won't be inside." Bellamy replied.

"Like hell you won't." Sayah said at the same time Clarke said, "Yes, you will."

"Does that mean you made the list?" Raven questioned Clarke, referring to the list Clarke had to make of the hundred people who would be staying in the ship and surviving.

"No." Clarke replied. "What about drinking water?"

"Clarke, don't change the subject." Raven stepped forward as Sayah attempted to stack something on a high shelve. She sighed in defeat when she realised she couldn't reach and glanced over to Bellamy, who was staring at her with a smug smile. He took the pack from her and easily placed it on the shelve.

"Shorty." He mumbled.

"Don't make me kick your ass." Sayah threatened as she grabbed another item. Bellamy chuckled.

"We need to know who's gonna be on the inside of these doors when the radiation comes." Raven continued to Clarke.

"We don't need to know now." Clarke replied.

A loud buzz rang out as a voice resonated over the P.A. "We need some medical help at the front gate. Looks like we got some sick people there."

The four of them didn't hesitate, dropping the things they held in their hands and making their way outside to the Arkadia gates.

༺═──────────────═༻

"Move. Stand back." Sayah shoved past the group of interested people as she made her way along with Bellamy, Clarke and Raven. They reached the line of guards—Miller among them—who raised their guns high.

   "Weapons down." Sayah ordered once her eyes scanned over to see Nyko and some other villagers. Her gaze stopped on a familiar flop of hair. She knew that hair.

   "Nyko?" Clarke called out from beside her as Sayah and Clarke approached them slowly.

   "No way," Sayah whispered under her breath, her eyes searching over the recognisable flop of hair. She took a few more steps forward. She just had to make sure. . .

   "What happened to them?" Clarke asked Nyko.

   "The sickness." Nyko replied. "We lost more than forty on the way."

   Sayah let out a shaky breath. "Luna. Luna, is that you?"

   The woman coughed into her arm roughly, before glancing up and meeting Sayah's eyes. Sayah could've dropped to the floor. "Sayah." Her eyes moved to Bellamy and the others. "Please don't turn us away because of what I did to you."

   Sayah's eyes widened and she rushed forward quickly, dropping in front of the girl, hands hovering over her as she scanned her body. "Hey, hey," She felt like she was sick. Her stomach was twisting.

   "Sayah, be careful." A voice called out from behind her. It was Abby. Sayah felt her hand on her shoulder and she brought her up to her feet—Sayah hesitated, eyes not leaving a sick Luna. "Sayah, come on,"

   She stood behind Abby, as she crouched down in front of the group. "Mom, what is this?" Clarke asked.

   "Fever, lesions, vomiting," Abby sighed. "It's ARS."

   "What's ARS?" Sayah asked quickly, gaze stuck on Luna. Her fingers reached into her pocket. The shell was still there. Sayah tightened her grip on it when she realised she had barely acknowledged it the last few days.

   "Acute Radiation Sickness." Abby answered.

   Sayah watched as Abby asked some questions to the group but she didn't hear them. . . something about dead fish. . . Her eyes were still on Luna—a sick, tired-looking Luna. She looked. . . weak. Sayah never saw her weak. Luna's eyes travelled towards Sayah and suddenly Abby's words made sense. Everything seemed to make sense.

   "It's not contagious. Let's get them to medbay." Abby had ordered and Sayah didn't hesitate to rush forward and help Luna up, wrapping one of Luna's arms around her shoulder.

   "Miss me?" Luna's voice was croaky. Sayah didn't reply, her eyes stayed forward. Medbay. Medbay. Medbay. "Sayah," Luna tried to grab her attention. "You go quiet when you're worried."

   "Yeah, what's your point?" Sayah fired back, avoiding Luna's gaze. "You're sick—of course I'm worried."

   "At least smile for me." It was quiet and tired.

   Sayah was silent for a moment as they continued walking. "Not yet, LuLu." She whispered back, and Luna and her could both tell she was scared. "Not yet."

༺═──────────────═༻

   Murphy let out a defeated sigh. "You said there'd be food here." He spoke up to Emori who sat in front of the campfire as Murphy's eyes travelled around the cave walls. He had history with caves.

"There should be." Emori replied. "These woods have always been good to me." She lifted up a stone before placing it back down just as quickly. "Now there's not even bugs."

"Well, fortunately, I'm not hungry enough for that to be upsetting yet." Murphy remarked as he took a seat down beside Emori on the stone. "I actually kind of miss Polis."

Polis? No. The person in Polis? Yeah. It had been days since he left her—again—and she could be dead right now. No, no, no. Sayah isn't dead. She can't be dead. He'd know if she was dead. He'd feel it at least. And he doesn't feel anything right now. Even when he glances over at Emori, who is already looking at him—the same way she does every other time she looks at him.

"They had this drink there," Murphy continued after clearing his throat and looking back at the fire. He didn't exactly like the way Emori seemed to look at him. "Sweet, made out of sheep's milk."

"Ontari gave this to you?" Emori questioned.

"Yeah," Murphy sighed. "I told you, it wasn't all bad."

"You told me you were trying to survive."

"I was." Murphy fired back.

"What else wasn't bad, John, sex?" She asked and Murphy wanted to punch the wall behind him. He wanted to scream. She didn't understand.

"Emori, I don't want to talk about this." Murphy raised his voice to talk over her. She shouldn't even be reacting like. . . like the way he expected Sayah to react. Sayah didn't react like this—she understood. She always understood and she was furious too, but, she asked him how he was first. She cared so much for him, and Murphy realised once again, he didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve to love that girl.

"Fine. Then let's not." Emori spat before getting up from her spot. Murphy wanted to yell—how could she be like this? Like he had done something wrong? They weren't even together. She liked him, he didn't like her back—she doesn't get the right to be upset. To feel betrayed.

Betrayal. Something he seemed to be used to.

"I didn't have a choice, okay?" Murphy told her. Why didn't she understand? Emori paused in her spot. "I didn't have a choice." He repeated slowly, although this time he wanted to ask: Why didn't you care about how I felt? Why don't you? Why haven't you asked?

Because Emori is not Sayah. Emori wasn't her.

Murphy got up from his spot, grabbing his bag. "Where are you going?" Emori rushed out.

"I'm gonna go to Arkadia." I need to see if she's there. I need to see her. Because you're not her. "I'm a better thief than I am a hunter."

"I'll come with you."

"No." It was quick, too quick. But it wasn't like Murphy was leaving her for good. He'd come back. He still cared for Emori—she was his best friend. He just couldn't stay there right then. "It'll draw less attention if I'm alone." He paused, his eyes avoiding hers for a moment before he sighed and pulled her in for a hug. She embraced him back tightly. When he pulled away, he gave her a small reassuring smile. "Tonight, we feast."

"Okay." Emori nodded, pursing her lips and Murphy nodded in return before walking away and heading to Arkadia. He ignored the familiar feeling in his stomach.

༺═──────────────═༻

"You're okay." Sayah rubbed Luna's back in comfort as she groaned and retched into a bucket. "I'm here," She glanced up to see Bellamy enter and make his way over toward them.

   Sayah sent him a small smile which he returned, eyes darting from her to Luna. "Here," He passed Sayah a small cloth which she took gratefully.

   "You think I deserve this for refusing the flame?" Luna questioned, eyes on Bellamy momentarily.

   "No one deserves to suffer." Bellamy replied. "Besides, this would've happened anyway." He added as Clarke approached behind him.

   "This is all that's left of my people." Luna explained. "Can you save them?" Her eyes were on Clarke now.

   "We'll do everything we can." Clarke nodded. "You have my word."

   Luna let out a cough and Sayah rubbed her back, sharing a look with Bellamy and Clarke. "I'm staying. You guys. . . fill me in if it's absolutely necessary." The two leaders nodded at her before sharing quiet words and leaving the room.

   Sayah looked back over to Luna, eyes filled with worry. Luna coughed once more before letting out a tired sigh. "Don't tell me we're just going to sit in silence while we're together."

   "You're sick," Sayah reminded her. "Don't think we'll have time to talk about the weather, LuLu."

   "I hate that nickname," Luna groaned as she leaned back and Sayah held her gently as she laid down on the small bed. Luna met her concerned gaze. "I thought we'd never see each other again."

   "I'll admit I didn't exactly have plans to visit you," Sayah hummed, brushing a strand of hair out of Luna's face. Her hand lingered on her cheek and Luna gave her a small smile. Sayah felt her fingers tingle strangely.

   "And I'll admit I wish you could've stayed," Luna replied. "But then you'd be sick too."

   Sayah hummed in response, as her hand travelled down to Luna's shoulder. Her skin was soft, like she imagined it would be. She rested her hand there for a short second before pulling away. Luna reached out for wrist.

   "Don't go." She croaked out weakly.

   "I'm not going anywhere," Sayah whispered, taking Luna's hand in hers. "I'm right here."

   "Finally," Luna chuckled but it turned into a weak cough at the end. Sayah squeezed her hand.

   "I hate seeing you like this." She mumbled.

   "Yeah," Luna breathed. "But at least you're seeing me."

   "You're ridiculous." Sayah huffed, amusement evident in her tone. Luna tightened her grip on her hand.

   "The J.M tattoo," She spoke quietly and Sayah's brows furrowed. "What's the name? I never got to ask."

   Sayah looked up, eyes meeting Abby's for a quick moment before she looked back down at Luna, who's eyelids were fluttering close every so often. The tattoo. She never really thought about it much. Just the person. "Why so curious?" Luna didn't reply. Sayah let out a small sigh. "John," She answered. "His name is John, but everyone calls him—"

   "Murphy." A voice finished and Sayah's head turned to see Abby beside her. Abby's eyes switched between Luna and Sayah. "Can I steal her for a moment, Luna?"

   Luna swallowed, "Just come back."

   "Promise," Sayah replied. "I'll bring some water too." She squeezed Luna's hand once more before hopping off the bed and following Abby over the far end of the room where Jackson was waiting.

   "Don't sugarcoat it for me." Sayah stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

   "It's hard to give them treatment when Raven has it all locked up." Jackson replied. "And without treatment. . ."

   "I'll deal with Raven." Abby concluded before turning to Sayah. "It's difficult."

   "Do what you can, Abby." Sayah inhaled deeply. "That's all you can do, right? I trust you."

   Abby stared at her for a moment—eyes soft and gentle like a mother's eyes always are. "I'll do my best." Then she left out the room, heading to see Raven.

   Sayah turned to Jackson. "Water?" She questioned. He nodded and led her over to where everything was. Sayah glanced back once to Luna. Luna's fingers weren't even tapping like they normally would.

༺═──────────────═༻

   Murphy—for once in his life—must've had good luck when he spotted Raven welding (or in other words, distracted) the roof, high up on a ladder. He controlled the urge to make a snarky remark and catch her attention, deciding instead to just do what he came for—well, partially came for. He snuck in easy, opening his backpack up quietly and hiding behind a shelf as he started to steal the rationed food, stuffing them into his bag quickly.

Suddenly, he froze, spotting Abby enter in from the door on the other side, and watched as Raven stopped working and descended from the ladder, taking off her helmet with a stern look on her face. Murphy rushed to hide behind another shelf where he couldn't be seen.

"Already told Jackson, we can't spare anything, especially not anti-radiation meds." Raven stated.

"We're talking about seven doses," Abby told her.

"That's a quarter of our supply, Abby, a supply that has to last us for five years on an irradiated planet." Raven argued. Murphy's brows furrowed. Irradiated planet?

"We're gonna need every one of those pills, and you know it." Raven added.

"You're right. We put you in charge of the supplies. It's your call, but those people—" Abby began.

"Will it work?" Raven asked her, cutting her off. Raven took a few steps towards Abby. "Can you guarantee the medicine will save them?" Abby didn't answer. "You can't, because delactivene needs to be used within twenty-fours hours of exposure. It's on the damn label."

"The rate of effectiveness goes down, yes, but it doesn't mean it won't work." Abby stated. "We have to try."

"No." Raven shook her head.

"Sayah is in there, waiting for me to come back to tell her that these people will be okay—Raven." Abby's voice was desperate. Murphy's lips parted. Sayah was here. She was okay. "There's a child in there with them."

Murphy felt something build up inside of him. This was all too familiar. A sick child that needed medicine and couldn't get it. . .

"At least give me enough for her." Abby pleaded.

"I'm sorry," Raven's voice was quiet and weak. "But we can't waste our supply on a long shot."

"If we can save one life," Abby rushed out. "Would you call that a waste?"

"Even if it worked, even if we could save them today," Raven began. "They'll be dead from radiation inside two months." Murphy's gaze fell the the floor. So that's what she meant. Two months, and the planet will be irradiated.

"You tell yourself that if you need to," Abby responded. "But the radiation isn't killing that child. You are." And with that Abby left the room, heading back the medbay.

Murphy watched as Raven let out a deep sigh before going back to work. He pursed his lips before rubbing them with his hand.  He knew what he had to do.

༺═──────────────═༻

"You tired?" Sayah asked Luna quietly as she brushed her hair back out of her face with her hand. Somehow, Luna was still unmistakably beautiful, even with her pale skin and tired eyes.

   "A little." Luna said weakly, but Sayah could tell she was lying. "Sayah, if I die—"

   "Don't do that." Sayah shook her head. "We're not doing that. You're not dying."

   "I actually think I am." Luna replied sassily and Sayah rolled her eyes, taking Luna's hand in her own as she rested on her chin on their connected hands.

   "You can't die," Sayah murmured. "It's not possible."

   "We all die." Luna whispered back. "You just choose to ignore that my own death could be soon."

   "Stop talking like that." Sayah stated sternly. "You're not dying, you're gonna be fine. I'm not gonna let you die."

   Luna was silent for a moment. "Thank you."

   "For what, LuLu?" Sayah was looking down at their hands. History repeated itself.

   "For being here," Luna coughed a little. Sayah rubbed her thumb lightly and gave her a smile. Suddenly, she noticed someone walk in the room, stopping behind Abby. Her heart raced. Why was he here?

   "You looking for these?" Murphy asked Abby, eyes on her. He hadn't spotted Sayah yet. He held out something to Abby, and Sayah watched as Abby took it and Jackson approached them. Sayah stood up.

   "I'll—I'll be right back, LuLu." Sayah stuttered on her words, eyes stuck on John Murphy. Her John Murphy, who was standing there—standing right there. She gently let go on Luna's hands with one last squeeze and without thinking, approached the trio, standing right in between Abby and Jackson; right in front of the boy she loved. And when he finally looked at her again, something ignited inside of her.

   "I—I didn't know how many you needed," His words seemed slow as his eyes darted between what were pills, in Abby's hand, and Sayah. Sayah didn't even notice how heavily she was breathing. Was she even breathing? She couldn't focus. "So, I—uh—took it all." He finished.

   "What's the pills for?" Sayah rushed out, averting her eyes and deciding to look over at anything that wasn't John Murphy's face. The pills—Abby—Jackson—back to the pills—no, that's John—that's John's lips—back to the pills—stay on the pills.

   "The pills we needed for the sick," Abby answered before turning back to Murphy. "John got them." She didn't sound completely surprised.

   "Well, that's—that's great, isn't it?" Sayah stuttered before clearing her throat and blinking. No time for this. "Give it to Adria first, God knows Luna would kill me if anyone else got it first."

   Abby nodded before looking over to Jackson. "If it works, you give it to the others." Jackson nodded before making his way over to the young girl. Abby glanced between the couple before her gaze rested on Murphy. "I'm glad you're back, John. I was worried about you."

   "Thanks," He gave her a small smile before she left to help Jackson, leaving the two alone.

   Sayah dragged a chair over beside the one Murphy sat on, watching from afar as Abby and Jackson did their job. "Didn't think you'd come back." Sayah spoke up first.

   "Didn't think you'd want me back." Murphy replied and Sayah knew there was a double meaning to it. He didn't know what they were—if they were even anything.

   "Just want you happy, John." Sayah replied, eyes on Luna, watching how she reached out to Adria and took her hand. "Even if that is. . . with someone else." The words stung her tongue.

   "She's—It's—We're not—" He sighed. Sayah wanted to fall asleep. Her eyes drifted to his shoulder, suddenly looking very inviting for a nap. She looked away after a few seconds.

   "We'll sort it out later." Sayah nodded. "Just. . . thank you for," She gestured to Adria taking the pill with a sigh. She turned to see he was already looking at her. "Thank you."

   Murphy was quiet, nodding slowly as his eyes scanned over her face, going over every detail—recognising them. Sayah knew why he had done it. But she didn't bring it up. There was no need to.

"I'm sorry about Lincoln." He whispered to her. Sayah watched as his eyes flickered down to her lips and she wondered if he heard her heart pause for a moment. She wondered if he knew that it hurt to remember what happened to Lincoln. Could he read her the same?

So she said what she always said, and as usual she knew it was true. "He's safe now." She swallowed hard, dipping her head down in a short nod before she looked away from him. She couldn't keep staring at his eyes—they were that same strange blue, just dimmer, less. . . alive. Was it her fault? Had she hurt him? She hadn't meant to. She never meant to hurt him. She never wanted to hurt him. Not even when she first found him at the cliffside, weak, bloody, begging.

He was quiet, but Sayah could feel his eyes still on her. She wondered what he was thinking. But he liked to say what he was thinking, didn't he? So she waited, and when he spoke, she nearly kissed him then and there.

   "Can I say I missed you?" Murphy's voice was quiet. "'Cause I missed you."

   She wanted to hold him and show him that she missed him more, and he had no idea how much more. God, she loved him. Her lips twitched up a little at the corners. "Cute."

༺═──────────────═༻

   Sayah could feel Murphy's eyes on her as she stood beside Nyko, Luna in front of them with Adria in her arms. The young girl was dying. The pill hadn't worked.

Raven entered in the med-bay and Murphy stopped her from coming any closer. Sayah saw Raven pull out some rations from Murphy's bag and Sayah frowned. He hadn't come to stay—only to steal food and leave again. She averted her eyes, focusing on Luna and Adria.

"Think about the waves, my love." Luna was speaking in Trigedasleng to Adria quietly, as she ran her fingers through her hair. Adria let out weak, strained breaths. "Can you hear them? Lapping gently beneath us. . . we'll be with the waves soon."

Adria let out a small wheezy breath and then it slowed. . . and finally ceased. The young child was dead. Sayah closed her eyes as she felt Luna shake and sob in front of her. "Your fight is over." Nyko whispered quietly.

Luna began to cry harder, reaching out and grabbing Sayah's hand in hers, squeezing, and she sobbed quietly. Sayah opened her eyes, feeling a tear run down her cheek and Luna gently leaned into her. Sayah wrapped an arm around Luna's shaking body. When Sayah looked up over to Raven, she didn't know how to feel when she realised Murphy wasn't standing there with her.

༺═──────────────═༻

"From water, you were born. From water, you will return." Luna whispered to the last one of her people. She was the only one left—the rest were dead. Sayah sat on a chair as she watched Luna, eyes scanning over her body and how she moved like she wasn't nearly dying a few hours ago. But how?

   "Luna?" Clarke's voice rang out and Sayah's head turned towards her. Luna got up from where she sat and approached Clarke, her face nearly completely clear of any radiation burns and such.

   Abby got up from where she sat. "Impossible." She approached Luna, Nyko following after her.

   "We didn't treat her." Raven said in confusion.

   "Your fever's down." Abby noted as she placed a gentle hand on Luna's forehead. Nyko did the same.

   "How?" He asked.

   "Her body's rejecting the radiation on it's own." Abby replied in surprise. "Here," She led Luna over towards a chair. "Sit down."

   Luna sat down, eyes drifting over to rest on Sayah, who was observing quietly. Luna simply stared at her, which was enough for Sayah to hop up, grab her chair, and take a seat next to the girl. "I'd like to run some tests." Abby said, eyes drifting between the two of them. Luna nodded, giving her approval before taking Sayah's hand in her own.

   "Jackson." Abby called him over to see for himself. He approached them, crouching in front of Luna.

   "What did you do?" He asked, just as surprised as everyone else.

   "Nothing." Abby admitted. "There's only one variable. One thing that separates Luna from the others."

   "Nightblood." Clarke breathed out in realisation.

༺═──────────────═༻

a/n

whewwww how we feelinghonestly i was so hyped to write that,ive been putting it off for a bit so it was good to finally get it done

also the writers just be putting murphy in season 7 like, murphy shirtless but no murphy plot. like yes we like murphy shirtless but... murphy plot??? where is it??anyways i cried bc i thought he was gonna die its fine 🤡

LETS DO IT.CHARACTER Q&A... ANSWERS:

SAYAH:How are you the cutest bean alive?Pfft, I know how to use a sword. How dare you call me cute.I've killed dozens of men. I am dangerous. But to answer your question: it comes naturally.

How does it feel having Murph back?First of all, Murph is such a cute little nickname. I might have to use that—the girl he was with uses John too and I don't like it. But anyway, back to the question. It's hard to put into words. But if I had to describe it, I'd say it's familiar. It feels right. . . Wasn't that cheesy as hell?Careful, I might vomit.Long story short, I want to kiss him. A lot.But don't tell anybody.

Are you angry at Octavia for not letting you have your vengeance?I love Via. And I know she loved Lincoln. I loved Lincoln too. And yes, she could have her revenge, but I was looking forward to the punishment Trikru would give him. I was looking forward to being able to punish him for what he did. She would've had her turn as well. But now Pike is dead. By her hand. So all I got to do was a simple slice on his arm when I should've gotten to plunge my sword deep in his chest. I'm not angry at her, but she should've thought before she decided to kill him right then and there.

—

MURPHY:How far would you go to show Bell that your love for Sayah is pure?First of all, why would I need to prove myself to someone like him? His approval means nothing to me personally, but I've seen how he is with Sayah. He means a lot to her and I'll respect that. If Sayah wants us to get along, then hell, I'll do it. Talk to him though, because too many times his fist has met my face.

—

SAYAH AND MURPHY:S: We didn't get any questions, John. You scared them all off.M: Oh, did I? Well sorry, but I'm pretty sure you're the one with the sword, so maybe you scared them off.S: Watch yourself.M: Or what?S: I hate you.M: No, you don't.S: No, I don't.

M: Hey readers, if you actually have some questions, ask us them here. We'll answer them truthfully, promise ;)S: Did you just wink?

—

LUNA:How deep are your feelings for Sayah?I only ever thought about her like that maybe once or twice. I don't know how to feel now. But. . . but I think something's different, I suppose.

—

BELLAMY:How deep are your feelings for Sayah and would you want something more?I love Sayah like I love Octavia. Somehow she still has feelings for Murphy of all people, (I don't get it) but I just want her to be happy. And the thing about wanting anything more? I only see her as a little sister, but if I wanted anything more to do with her it'd be for her to quit teasing me all the time and maybe give me a hug. She's good at those.. . . Don't tell her I said that.

—

CLARKE:Send Lexa my love.Always.

that was too much fun.

^ murphy when he overhears stuff about radiation