54

Joella's POV

Roughly 4 months into mine and Matt's marriage though, things for me started to change, like my appetite. There was days that I felt I couldn't get enough to eat, then there was days it was like I wasn't hungry at all. I didn't understand it at all but as I talked to my mom, she said some people's metabolism does that to people as they get older.

~~~~ 

As I was in the kitchen cleaning up, I heard Matt walked in.

"Damn babe, I swear this ass has gotten more plump." Matt smirked and grabbed handfuls of my ass, "So damn sexy."

"Well I don't feel all that sexy lately. Some of my pants don't even fit right anymore." I groaned, which was true, some of them have been feeling tighter on me.

"Doesn't help you've been eating a lot more some days." He said as he reached into the fridge for a beer. 

I don't know if he actually was serious about that statement but at the same time it almost sounded like there was a bit of sarcasm in his voice but what he said still stung a little. And he was being truthful but to hear it come from someone else, especially your husband wasn't something you wanted to hear.

"Yeah I know." I nodded even though his back was to me.

"Maybe I need to start joining you and Dan when you guys go to the gym to help." I said a moment later as tears stung my eyes but I tried my best to blink them back.

I didn't really want him to see me cry.

"Yeah if you want to. The more the merrier." He shrugged as he took a big swig while tossing the lid into the trash.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't help but sniffle no matter what, I got upset over his statement a few minutes before.

Seems that's been happening a lot, getting upset over stupid shit.

"Fuck." He quickly sat his beer down, walked over to me and made me face him, "Babe?" He then cupped his hand on my cheek, "Babe, what wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Seriously? Why do you think?" I pushed him away, "I know I'm getting fatter okay? And you basically just agreed even saying I'm eating more. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but it hurts when I say I don't feel sexy that instead of disagreeing, my husband mentions a damn eating habit. Maybe that's why you've been staying out late huh? Because even you think I'm getting fat! I even made the hint about the gym and you still didn't get it."

"What? Of course I don't think that Joella. Fuck, I'm sorry, I was only joking when I made that comment. And how am I suppose to know it's a hint when you mention joining us at the gym. We go to keep ourselves healthy, because of our own eating habits and the drinking we do. That's part of why you used to want to go for walks or jogs isn't it? To keep yourself healthy. And don't you dare think I stay out late because I think you're getting fat. That's far from the damn truth. I think you're fucking beautiful, inside and out Ells."

"Then what is it? Because you don't even ask if I want to go. Maybe there's a reason behind it." I shrugged as I crossed my arms. 

"Are you serious? Yes I have, and your words are always no go have fun with the boys. That's why I stopped wasting my breath. So If you want to go then say something Joella. What other reason would you think?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Maybe it's something or someone." I mumbled as I looked away.

I knew he wouldn't do something like that, I just wanted to pay him back for what he said a few minutes ago since he swears he was joking.

He stared at me a few seconds, like he was trying to comprehend what I was meaning before he spoke, "You honestly." A groan rumbled in his chest as he balled his fists against his nose then let his hands drop, "Are you fucking shitting me right now? You honestly think I would do that to you Joella?! That I would even think about being with another fucking woman?!" 

"Baby." I spoke softly.

He ignored me as he continued, "Gee thanks, nice to know that's what my wife thinks of me! That I would ever cheat on you, that hurts Joella! You're the one I married. You're the one I love Ells! I would never do that shit to you!"

"Baby stop." I sighed.

Okay, so this is getting more out of hand then I thought it would. I should have known he would react badly. Fuck how stupid can I be to joke like this.

"No, it's bullshit that you would even-"

I couldn't take it, so I smacked him on the cheek, I meant to only do it playfully but I accidentally smacked harder than I intended to. 

"What the fuck?!" He roared,  "First you accuse me off cheating and now you're hitting me when I'm defending myself, wow, what the fuck ever!" He turned and started walking away.

"Matthew Charles Sanders, you better stop right now!" I stomped my foot as I yelled.

"Why the hell should I? So you can accused me more of shit I'm not fucking doing?!" Surprisingly he did stop in the doorway but didn't turn around.

As he was saying that though, I had quietly as possible walked up behind him.

"Fucking look at me damnit." I said lowly.

As soon as he turned around, I took that moment to jump into his arms and cupped the sides of his head, entangling my fingers in his hair.

"Baby, I don't actually think that." I told him as I kissed the tip of his nose.

"Then why the hell would you mention it?" He said with a hurtful tone.

"Just to see your reaction honestly. As a payback for the eating more comment." I smirked as I dropped my legs from him.

"But that hurt, to know my wife would think that I'd let another woman satisfy me."

I felt tears stinging my eyes again so I quickly blinked them back, "So did your comment, there was a bunch of other things you could have chose to say, yet you said that." I told him as I walked into the living room and I could hear him following.

"And I apologized. I was seriously only joking."

"But what you said was right honestly. So I don't know why it even bothered me." I sat on the couch and brought my knees to my chest, "There's some days I feel like I can't get enough to eat. And then there's things that shouldn't bug me, but it does." I sniffled. "And I'm sorry for my mood changes and I fucking hate it. And I'm sorry for being a bitch to you sometimes, I don't mean to, I honestly don't."

For the last month I'd be happy then next minute my mood would flip. I honestly wish I knew what the hell was wrong with me. It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with my accident I had all those months ago since I had that brain injury. That maybe something is happening to me in the neurology area because I've also been forgetting things easily and having a harder time staying focused on everyday tasks.

He stood on his knees in front of me and started rubbing up and down on my calves, "Baby, it's okay. Yeah, your moods have been all over the place but it doesn't make me love you any less. Just proves you're human." He pulled my feet off the couch and rests his hands on my outer thighs, "We're all allowed to have mood changes, I mean come on, how boring would it be if we didn't? I love every part of you." He puts his hand on my jaw and rubs his thumb on my cheek bone.

"I love you too." I said lowly. 

He then places a soft kiss on my lips.

"You starting to feel better?" He asks a moment later and I shook my head.

"I don't know why either." I told him as I looked down at my hands. 

He then stood up, "I know something that might help."

"I'm not in the mood for sex."  It was more of a joke though.

He chuckled as I watched him walk over to the stereo, "That's not what I was going to suggest. This time." He winked at me and turned on some music.

He then walks back over to me, "Music makes people feel better. If it's not depressing music anyways." He grabs my hands and made me get up off the couch, "Dance with me."

"I don't feel like it." I sighed.

There's a feeling I just couldn't shake off and I don't know what was going on.

"Awe come on." Linking one hand with mine while wrapping the other one around my waist.

He then began dancing, forcing my body to move with his as he sang along to Volbeat's 'I only want to be with you' while doing his best imitation of the lead singer.

Staring into each other's eyes while he sang, I couldn't help but giggle because he was also making some funny facial expressions.

"See its working huh?" He wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

He usually always has ways to make me feel better, that's one of the things that I love about him.

"Yes, you're right." I giggled.

"Told ya." He smirked at me.

Then all of a sudden he made me spin away from him and then back to him, but the sudden move like that made me feel nauseous. I had to quickly cover my mouth and I ran to the bathroom to puke because the last thing I wanted was to do it on him. I would have felt even worse than what I was already feeling.

Okay, I think it's time to see a doctor, all this shit is getting ridiculous. And I'm already tired of feeling this way.