29

Joella's POV

I woke up to horrible pain in my stomach. I tried my hardest not to groan loudly from the pain as I got out of bed because I didn't want to disturb Matt, he needed his sleep. I grabbed my toiletries bag and breathed heavily as I went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

"Fuck." I groaned seeing some blood, why am I bleeding? It's not time for my monthly yet.

All of a sudden I heard a soft knock on the door. Shit, I woke him up, I didn't mean to.

"Baby? What's wrong? You okay?"

I took a deep breath through the constant pain, "I don't know exactly. I just think I got my period early or something. Fuck, it hurts really bad this time." I've always had horrible cramps during them but they've never this bad.

"I'm coming in." He opened the door before I could object to find me on the toilet leaning forward holding my stomach. "Maybe we should go to the hospital, maybe they can give you something for the pain."

I quickly shook my head and pointed to the small bag on the counter, "I had some Midol so I took it but it's not helping like it usually does."

"Let me get you some clothes and then I'll see if someone has one of those warming pads you can use. That usually helps with pain."

"Okay." I croaked out. 

I had tried to stand, to wash off some of the blood before I put any clothes on and next thing I know, the room was starting to spin then everything went black.

No One's POV

But as he was grabbing her a shirt and a pair of her leggings he heard a bang sound. He quickly walked to the bathroom to find Joella on the floor.

"Fuck!" He fell to his knees, scooping her upper body into his arms and patted her face gently, "Joella, baby, come on wake up." But she didn't come to, he checked her pulse and still felt a heart beat.

He slid her clothes on then laid her in bed, noticing the dried blood that was on the sheets, sighing he grabbed his phone and called Brian since his name was the first one to show up.

"You better have a good excuse why you're calling me this early fucker." Brian grumbled into the phone as he rubbed his eyes

"Fuck, Brian, I need your and Michelle's help, Jo- Joella passed out." He choked out as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Shit, we're on our way over." With that he hung up.

"What happened?" Michelle asked as soon as they got into the room.

"I don't know. She woke up from pain and at first she thought it was from you know." He didn't exactly want to say the words, "But she said the cramping was way worse than normal. I went to get her some clean clothes and that's when she passed out." Matt explained.

"Man, I don't know much about a woman's anatomy but that seems like a lot of blood." Brian motioned the blood in the bed, "Come on, we're taking her to the hospital now. That blood loss and her passing out can't be good."

"Brian is right. I don't think any girl bleeds that much when we first start our periods. We have to get her checked out."

Matt nodded and scooped her up.

Matt's POV

We quickly got to the hospital and checked her in. I was getting irritated because I wasn't allowed back with her since I wasn't immediate family. So I sat there in one of the chairs in the waiting room, chewing on my fingernails as I bounced my foot, waiting to hear that it's okay to go back or at least find out some kind of news. I tried hiding how scared I was, I've never been around someone who had experienced anything like this.

"Have you called her parents?" Brian asked as he sat down next me.

I shook my head as I kept bouncing my foot, "Nuh uh, maybe if it's something major yes but if it happens to be something minor I don't want to worry them you know?" 

I don't want to bug them if it's nothing major, plus I don't know how she would feel if I did. I don't know if she wants them to even know she's in the hospital while on tour with us. I know how much convincing she had to give to her dad to prove she would be safe with us because of her past. And I definitely didn't want them nor her freaking out on me.

"That's understandable."

"Man, what the fuck, why can't I go see her." I couldn't take it any long as I stood up quickly and started pacing rubbing my hands over my head.

Roughly 10 minutes later I was finally able to go back and see her since apparently she kept asking for me.

"Hey baby." I kissed her temple, "How you feeling?"

"I'm alive." She said softly as she slowly sat up more.

I sat beside her on the bed where I was able face her and moved her hair behind her ears, "Have they found out what was wrong?"

"Not yet." She shook her head, "They've ran some tests, waiting on the results."

What seemed like forever but was only 45 minutes later, the doctor finally came in. He wanted to speak to Joella alone but she insisted on me staying because she needed support because she could sense it was bad news. The doctor unfortunately informed us that she had a miscarriage. And as the doctor and Joella was talking, I couldn't help but ball up my fists in a mixture of anger and sadness as I just glared off into space.

Once the doctor left it was silent as we were both trying to process what we just found out. What the fuck? She was pregnant? We had a baby on the way?

"Matt? I'm sorry, I didn't know I was or I would have been way more careful." It came out in a whisper.

"I thought you was on birth control?" I finally broke out of my trance to speak, and that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"I was, but those aren't 100% effective."

I didn't know what else to do so I stood up, "And you were drinking and smoking. How does someone not know they're pregnant? I mean aren't women supposed to know that stuff, right? Surely I'd think you would have had a clue. Hell this isn't your first time pregnant, you said so yourself."

"I'm sorry I didn't know." She groaned, she tried grabbing for my hand but I stepped back, I don't know why but I did, "Okay? I'm sorry. I mean yeah there was some signs but I just thought that was because my eating habits had changed, and all the traveling we were doing. And maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying we're not ready. Especially with the band going great, it'd be hard to raise a child with you guys being on the road a lot."

"Right." I scoffed, "Don't blame nothing on the band. We could have managed, people have done it before." I rubbed my hands down my face, then said something I shouldn't have but I couldn't stop myself, "Maybe you just didn't want to have a baby with me so you purposely sabotaged it. Just like you did the last time."

But it was bad timing, we haven't even been together that long. We can't be bringing in a baby this soon into our relationship, so she was right. Maybe this was a sign but I couldn't get myself to calm down from the news and what I said.

Her eyes went wide, "You know what?! Fuck you Matthew, fuck you for thinking I would actually do something like that!"

"It didn't stop you the first time sabotaging a pregnancy what makes a difference this time." I shrugged, fuck what are you saying Matthew, shut up. You know damn well this isn't her fault.

"Wow, see the first time was totally different. I was in a different place in my life then. I wasn't as mature as I am now. I wouldn't put myself through that pain again." I could tell she was trying to hold back tears, but I was so angry that I didn't comfort her like I should have been doing. "This isn't my fault this time."

No, I needed something or someone to blame, and she was who I took it out on and she didn't deserve it but I couldn't stop myself. I've never been this harsh to her, not even when I thought she was doing hard drugs. It was like I lost control of my thoughts and my mouth as I had went off on her.

"Right." I scoffed. I don't know why I was blaming her but for some reason I was.

"You know what Fuck off! Get the fuck out, I don't want to see nor talk to you anymore right now. I don't deserve this shit. I just went through some of the worse physical pain ever and you're blaming me."

"Whatever." I groaned and stormed out.

I just couldn't be in this room anymore especially with the way I just treated her. I don't blame her wanting me to get away from her. I don't even want to be around myself right now.