~𝟳𝟰~

As I stood in the shower that night, the warm water pouring over my body and easing the pain in my muscles, I stared down at the bruise on my ribs. Lee Know had made me promise that we would get it checked out in the morning, whether I wanted to or not; and that he was going to force Commander Della Valle to let me take a break from missions for a few days.

I wished he wouldn't, though, because I knew that if I didn't go out on missions with them, my mind would just constantly remind me of the fact that Damian was still free and would come for me very soon. And as I stood in the shower, my mind couldn't help but bring back the memory of the look in the mercenary's eyes when he was strangling me; and tie it right back to Damian.

I climbed out of the shower and got dressed, walking out of the bathroom to find Lee Know leaning against my doorframe. I smiled at him, taking a seat on my bed, and gesturing for him to join me. He shook his head, instead coming to stand in front of me.

"You should be asleep," he whispered, a smirk on his lips.

"I could say the same to you," I answered, smiling at him.

I took his hands in mine, looking at the scabs on his knuckles. Some were new, having been acquired during the constant missions that day. Others were from him punching the mirror in his room, having healed. I gently brushed my thumb over them, careful not to hurt him. I stared up at him for a while, until I suddenly yawned.

"That's my que," Lee Know said softly, bringing me into a hug. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, smiling down at me. I stared back up at him through tired eyes. He gently brushed along my cheek with his thumb, pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose before pulling away.

"Good night. I hope you sleep well," he whispered, and I smiled at him.

"Same goes for you."

At that he left, and I clambered into bed, falling asleep as my head hit the pillow, exhausted from the tiring day.

...

The next morning, Lee Know and I got back from the hospital just as Chan had finished making brunch. Lee Know went into the kitchen, me following behind. I clung onto his hand with my own, and when he stopped, I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked at Chan from next to his shoulder.

"So, how was the doctor's appointment? What did he say?"

"Just that I have to take a break from missions for the next week or so, and then the bruise should have healed fully. He said it was just a flesh wound, luckily nothing serious," I said, my voice partially muffled from my cheek being pressed up against Lee Know's arm.

"I'm glad you got good news. And you guys are just in time for brunch. The boys have been nagging me all morning for something to eat, and yet are perfectly capable of making something for themselves," Chan said, the last sentence louder and directed towards the living room.

I saw three heads pop out from around the corner. Jeongin, Felix and Han all greeted me in unison before taking their seats at the table. The other three boys joined shortly thereafter. They all wanted a briefing of what the doctor had said. So I explained it to them the same way I had explained it to Chan.

They all were happy that it wasn't bad news, as was I. I just hoped that the boys wouldn't have to be sent out on missions in the time that I couldn't join them. Because I deduced, judging from the number of nightmares the previous night, that being alone would certainly drive me up the walls.

...

Luckily, for the next week the boys didn't have to go on any more missions. I noticed they seemed to be getting restless, and that every now and again, the topic of Damian's whereabouts would come up. I also noticed that I had become very clingy in that week, constantly around Lee Know, or looking for him whenever I wasn't near him. Most of the time I would just sit with him and hold his hand, but, unbeknownst to him, it brought me a lot more comfort than I could describe.

One afternoon, on the last day that I had to stay away from missions, I went looking for him again. I walked past his room when I saw him with a letter in his hand, his brows knitted together. I leaned against the door frame, watching him for a little while before speaking.

"What's that?" I asked softly.

His head snapped up and he seemed to freeze when he saw me. I smiled at him, hoping to set him at ease as I took a step into the room. He quickly crumpled the letter up in his hand before moving to put it in his pocket when I repeated the question.

"What's that?" I asked again, letting my curiosity bleed into my voice, my eyes staying on his hand that held the little ball of paper.

"Oh this? It's nothing," he answered softly, sticking the paper in his pocket before moving towards me. He came to stand in front of me, closing the door behind me as his eyes stayed glued to mine.

"So, was there a reason for your surprise visit or did you just miss me?" he asked, inching closer to me.

"Something like that, but I seem to have forgotten the reason I came here. Could you perhaps remind me?" I asked, my voice low and sultry. He smirked at me, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips.

As he did so, I managed to snatch the letter from his pocket, my curiosity getting the better of me. I pulled away from the kiss, zipping past him to stand further away. His eyes were wide, his gaze worried when he realised what I had just accomplished.

"Ava, please give that back."

"Sorry, I just really want to know what has grabbed your attention. You seemed stressed when I saw you reading it. Maybe I can help?"

"I don't think you can."

"Can I at least try?"

"Ava..."

"Please?"

He sighed, dropping his gaze to the floor before looking back up at me. His gaze looked reluctant, but he nodded at me.

"Okay, you can read it. But before you do, I want you to promise you won't get mad."

That sentence made me falter.

"Why? Is there a reason for me to get mad?"

"Ava, just promise me."

I hesitated, suddenly worried about what I would find in the letter. But I nodded, nonetheless.

"I promise."

He blew out a breath after I said that, making me even more hesitant. I looked at the crumpled-up letter in my hand, rethinking my decision. Whatever it is, it might do you good to know what it is. Then you could help him through his stress, I thought. So I slowly opened up the ball of paper, steeling my nerves in the process. But what I found inside the letter was something I never imagined I might find.

Those all-too-familiar black letters. There, in Damian's handwriting, was a threat on not only my life, but the life of the man who I never ever wanted to see hurt. My breathing sped up as I stared at the letter in my hand, my fingers trembling because of the words written there. The paper slipped from my grasp, and I took in a shaky breath.

My hands came up to my mouth, then moving to brush through my hair. They stayed tangled in my locks as I swore under my breath. And swore again. And again. With every repeat of the crude word, my voice rose, until I was practically screaming it over and over again. Then I stopped. I dragged my hands down my face, catching my breath.

"When did the threats start coming?" I asked, my voice wobbling. I swallowed hard as I waited for Lee Know to answer. When he hesitated, I spoke.

"I know Damian. This wasn't a first-time thing, I'm sure of it. So I ask again, when did the threats start showing up?"

My voice wavered as I spoke, and I couldn't figure out if it was because of my anger, or my fear, or my sadness, or all three at once.

"The first one came the day after you got your letter."

"And this one? When did this one come?"

"The day I asked you to be official."

My breath left me in a soft laugh turned sob. I grabbed hold of the dresser next to me, letting the feeling of the wood seep into my body and bring me back from the edge of a meltdown. I can't do this. Not here. Not now, I thought. So I sucked in a breath before turning back to Lee Know.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

My voice came out rough with emotion, exactly the opposite of what I wanted.

"I didn't want you to worry. I know how much pressure you were putting yourself under, I didn't want to add to it."

"Even when the threat was on my life?"

That threat was actually the least of my worries, but I still had questions without answers which I had to build to, otherwise I would break.

"I just wanted you to have one day of happiness without worrying about that jackass. I know it was selfish of me, but I just... I wanted to see you smile."

I dropped my gaze, the tears welling up behind my eyes finally becoming too much to hold back. Two tears slipped over my cheeks. The room was so quiet I could hear them drop onto the hardwood floor. I reigned myself back in, taking in a breath before opening my eyes again to face the man standing in front of me. My vision was blurred with tears.

As I tried to form the words that I so dreaded to ask, but thought of every day, more tears fell from my eyes. I didn't bother to wipe them away, knowing that if I did, they would just be replaced by new ones. I swallowed hard, trying to push aside the lump rising in my throat, obstructing my airway and stopping my question from spilling past my lips as I intended.

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

My voice was soft and broken as I asked him the question. When he didn't answer, I spoke again.

"Why are you staying with me? Why are you staying with a broken wreck of a person when it'll only bring you pain and suffering? Why are you staying with someone like me when it could literally cost you your life? Why would you risk it all for a nobody like me? What reason could I possibly be for you to give up your life for me? Why would you do that for someone as useless and broken and scarred as me?"

As I spoke, my voice elevated, but along with that, my tears became more, flowing over my cheeks, forming tracks across my face. By the last question I was practically screaming at him through sobs, my voice breaking at the last word.

"Because I love you! That's why!" he yelled.

Not only did his loud voice startle me into silence, but the words made my heart stop, everything screeching to a halt around us.

"I love you, okay? I love you so much that it doesn't matter to me if I live or die tomorrow, I just want your face to be the last thing I see and your voice to be the last thing I hear. I love you so much that every minute I am without you feels like torture. I love you so much that I would lay down my own life if it meant you were safe."

My tears had come to a stop, along with everything else. I wasn't breathing, I wasn't moving. I just listened as he poured his heart out in front of me. I could almost see the battered pieces of his heart spilling onto the floor at my feet as he spoke. He walked closer to me slowly, tentatively. As if he were afraid he would hurt me if he got too close.

When he was standing right in front of me, he hesitantly reached his hand up, gently cupping my jaw when he was sure I wouldn't run from his touch. He gently brushed the remaining tear stains from my cheek with his thumb. Out of habit, my head leaned into his touch, my hand coming up to rest on his. I looked up at him, emotionally spent but so thankful for his gentle touch.

"I love you. And I don't think I could ever, ever stop loving you."

My heart swelled from his words, but my insecurity was right at the forefront of my mind in an instant.

"You'd be surprised," I whispered, my gaze dropping.

"No. I don't care what you think, I could never stop loving you. No matter what you say or do. Never ever."

My gaze snapped up to meet his, and as I stared into his eyes and felt the warmth from his touch seep into my body, I started believing it. He gently rested his forehead against mine, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of my nose before closing his eyes. I did the same, my eyes only opening when he spoke again.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back to me, but I've just been waiting for so long to tell you those three words. And if you never feel ready to say those words to me, I would still love you all the same."

---------------

A/N

heyy guys ;)

hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! Lee Know being extra and finally saying the l-word... honestly was waiting for it to happen, hope you guys were just as anxious for it to happen as i was :)

anyhow, thank you all again for all the comments and votes! when i get to read your jokes or how i made you laugh, it really brightens my day and makes me smile, so thank you all so much!

see you all in the next one <3