~𝟲𝟮~

I slept even less that night, the exhaustion finally starting to catch up to me. I could barely drag myself out of bed, my feet uncoordinated and clumsy as I forced myself out of my room. I trudged downstairs, almost tripping over my own feet.

I finally got into the kitchen, wanting to make myself some coffee to make my mind just a little more cooperative. As I stood at the counter and waited for the kettle to boil, my thoughts wandered, and for the first time I realised that I just couldn't remember my dreams from that night. I was very sure I had nightmares, but for some reason, my brain just couldn't recall the things that had woken me up in the night.

I got a fright when the kettle suddenly clicked, signifying that the water was finished boiling. I got out a cup and threw in a spoonful of coffee powder, stirring it as I poured in some water. I plopped in two spoonful's of sugar, as I usually did, pouring in just the right amount of milk before stirring again.

I was informed of a presence behind me when two hands pressed against the counter on either side of my body, caging me in and sending a shiver up my spine at Lee Know's close presence. His warm breath landed on my neck, the hairs at the base of my skull standing on end because of it.

"Good morning," I heard him mumble, his voice coming out rough and low. My muscles tensed at the sound of it, and my mind conjured up images of hearing it first thing in the morning as the sun shone in my eyes and-

"Good morning," I replied softly, sending my thoughts scattering on purpose. "You want some coffee too?" I asked him. I sensed it as he shook his head.

I caught sight of Lee Know's right hand out of the corner of my eye, his fingers tapping against the countertop, no specific rhythm or reason to it. My brain was still too tired to think of a reason why, until it wasn't necessary anymore.

"Can I... Can I put my arms around your waist?" I heard Lee Know ask, the fear and uncertainty in his voice unnerving to hear. I nodded at him.

He slowly slid his hands off of the countertop, hovering them above my waist. He hesitated for a while, the tension between us thick. Until he worked up the courage to slide his arms around my waist, hugging my body softly against his own. I placed my own arms over his, leaning into him. I dropped my head back, resting it against his collarbone before turning my head to rest my cheek against his sternum. I sighed, content.

Somehow, his presence and his strong arms wrapped so gently around me seemed to energize me in a way, my tiredness leaving my brain little by little until I felt awake and ready for the day. I slowly turned around in Lee Know's grasp, looking up at him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I smiled at him, and I saw his eyes shine a little bit brighter, a beautiful grin spreading on his lips as well.

I closed my eyes as he leaned down, feeling his lips softly press against my forehead. When he pulled away, my smile was even bigger, and my nose and cheeks prickled with just a hint of a blush.

"How'd you sleep? You seemed quite exhausted when I walked in here," Lee Know said, gently brushing his thumb over my cheekbone.

"I slept even less than the previous night, but I'm seriously hoping it'll get better. Otherwise, I might not be able to make it through the day."

I saw a slight pout form on Lee Know's lips, making a smile spread in my heart. He gently brought my head to rest on his chest again, resting his head on mine. I curled into the hug, until an idea struck me.

"What if you spend the night with me?" I asked, pulling away from him slightly. He seemed confused.

"What do you mean spend the night?"

"I mean like sit next to the bed until I fall asleep. Would you be willing to do that?" I asked cautiously. His eyes lit up at the idea and he nodded.

"Of course, I will. I'd do anything if it meant you'd sleep a little better."

I smiled up at him before hugging him again. My ears perked up at the sound of the stairs squeaking. I quickly pulled away from Lee Know, turning back to my cup of coffee to take a sip. It had gotten cold, so I pulled a face as I swallowed it, gaging suddenly at the bitter, salty taste in my mouth. I grabbed the thing I threw two spoonful's of into my coffee, and saw that it said salt on the label, not sugar, another gag working its way up my throat.

"Seems you didn't sleep too well if you threw salt in your coffee, Ava," I heard a voice say, turning to see Changbin come into the kitchen, followed shortly after by Seungmin. I smiled slightly at both of them before chucking the vile substance in my coffee cup down the drain.

"I'll make us all some new coffee; how does that sound Ava?" Changbin asked, stepping in next to me and turning on the kettle. I nodded, all too happy to have a fresh cup, without salt.

"Hyung, you want some?" he asked, directing the question at Lee Know, who I had noticed moved to stand with his hands pressing on the kitchen island. Lee Know nodded at the question, moving his head from side to side, the sound of his neck clicking loud enough for me to hear.

I went to stand next to him, but not too close. My eyes started wandering as I waited for Changbin to make us some coffee, and I noticed the veins on Lee Know's forearms. I had seen them many times before, but for some reason that time was different. They just seemed so prominent as he pressed on the countertop, the lines so bold and noticeable and... unbelievably attractive. I wanted to run my fingers along it as he told me stories about his childhood, or feel them as I touched his arms that were wrapped around my waist or-

I shook my head, clearing the thoughts away before they got too out of hand. Just in time too, as Changbin handed me a cup of coffee, freshly made. I smiled at him as I let the warmth of the cup's contents seep into my hands. I took a tentative sip of the coffee and was happy to find it just the right amount of sweet.

"Have anything planned for today?" Seungmin asked me, peering over the rim of his cup.

"No, nothing really. Why, do you have something in mind?"

"I was going to go for a run, and I wanted to ask if you wanted to go with me?"

I thought about it, my eyes wandering over in Lee Know's direction as I did so. He seemed tense, but I just thought it was because of earlier.

"Sure, sounds fun. Maybe it'll tire me out enough for me to be able to sleep tonight," I said with a smile on my face, playing down how exhausted I really was. Seungmin seemed to fall for it, smiling back at me. Another conversation started, and I could feel the apprehension emanating from the man next to me. I stole a glance at him, but he seemed fine. I wonder what's up with him, I asked myself. But my thought was quickly pushed away as I went upstairs to get ready for the run.

...

I stretched as I waited for Seungmin and Felix, the latter having decided to go with us. He seemed a little over enthusiastic, but I just assumed he was excited. We all stretched a little more before we started jogging down the gravel driveway, Seungmin leading us onto a dirt path that went into the forest. I paced myself, staying in between Seungmin and Felix as Chan had instructed.

As we ran, I took in all the scenery that I rarely got to appreciate. The birds, the sounds of the leaves rustling above us, the crunch of the dirt and rocks underneath my feet. But every time I saw something in the trees, my heart would skip a beat and I would inhale sharply.

"It's just the agents," Seungmin would remind me, but it didn't set me at ease as much as I hoped it would. The more it happened, the jumpier I got.

Eventually, we got to a fork in the path with a little open area next to it. We all took a seat in the grass of the open area, all drinking some water and catching our breath. When a twig snapped in the brush behind us, I practically jumped into Felix's arms, fear washing over me.

"Hey, it's okay Ava. It's probably just another agent," he said, gently hugging my shaking form.

I stayed in his arms for another moment before pulling away, still staying close to him and Seungmin. We started running again, and I tried my best to push down the feeling that someone was watching me. I thought of random things, trying to distract myself. Somehow, Lee Know popped up. A smile spread on my lips at the thought of him.

My thoughts wandered to what had happened the previous morning in the training area, and I could feel my cheeks heating up. I could practically feel Lee Know's hand on my waist, pressing me up against the wall. Somehow thinking of him made me completely forget of the ominous feeling in my stomach. Before I knew it, we were heading back up the driveway to the dorms.

"Seems the rest of the members went out," Felix said as he came back downstairs, having gone up to take a shower. I still sat on the exact same spot on the couch where I had plopped down about half an hour before.

"Seems it's just me, you and Seungmin," I breathed, my heart still racing from the run.

"Seems like it," Felix said, walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, Ava?" I heard him say, responding with a yes.

"You got a letter," he said, emerging from the kitchen.

I knew who wrote it even before he put it down on the coffee table in front of me, shifting away from it instinctively. I knew the paper, and I knew the handwriting. It was engraved into the back of my mind. And I doubted the engraving would ever leave.

"It's Damian, isn't it?" I heard Felix ask. I nodded, not once looking away from the letter.

Felix came to sit next to me, keeping his distance. I actually felt like I could use some support in the form of a hug, but I was too focused on the letter to ask. I stared the letter down like it was some kind of otherworldly being, but instead of intrigue, the only thing I felt was fear. My hand shook as I reached out to take the letter, so much so that I almost dropped it. I kept the letter face down, not yet ready to see what was written in black on the off-white paper.

I heard Seungmin coming down the stairs, and as soon as we made eye contact, he came to sit next to me. He also sat further away from me, but my focus was too drawn to the letter for me to ask him not to do that. I shared a look with both the boys before turning the letter around, my fingers shaking as I did so. The big black letter jumped out at me on the paper, forming a knot in my stomach.

For people who claim to be agents, you guys really don't know how to make an area "safe".

As I read it, I could practically hear Damian's voice, a shiver slithering up my spine. My hands were shaking, and I felt cold. So very cold. I dropped the letter on the floor, pulling my feet onto the couch. I hugged my legs, another shiver infiltrating my body.

Seungmin stretched out his hand, gently patting my shoulder. I instinctively moved towards the warmth. He tensed up as I leaned against him, but he eased his arm around me, nonetheless. Felix shifted closer to me, and I took his hand. A warm tear rolled over my cheek. I sniffed.

"Why are you crying, Ava? Nothing has happened. It's just a baseless threat," Felix said, his deep voice soft and soothing.

"I know, I'm just... I'm so tired of this. I just wish Damian would attack and we'd arrest him, so all this crap can just end. I just... I can't breathe. I feel like I'm drowning."

The boys stayed silent after my statement, but Seungmin shifted ever so slightly, as if he looked over at Felix. I just stayed where I was, trying to burry all the thoughts swimming in my mind. But no matter how hard I tried, I could still hear the words on the letter, mixing in with the sound of my screams from years ago. And my throat seemed to close off as more tears slipped over my cheeks, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

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A/N

heyy guys :)

long time no see, huh? it is truly amazing to be back. and oh my word have you guys been busy while i was gone... i can't thank you all enough for all the support. we reached 7K and 7.5K less than a week apart from each other and i am so stoked about it! you guys have no idea how much your support means and how much seeing you guys voting and commenting has lightened my load. let's just say it has been a rough term and there is a lot more that still needs to happen... :/

but honestly, i'm glad i'm back, and i hope you guys are too ;P i sprinkled in some lee know and ava moments for you guys, i hope you enjoyed :) if you guys have any requests for what you want to see or just wanna talk to someone who won't judge, you guys are welcome to comment or DM me on my insta (in my bio). hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and i'll see you in the next one <3