~𝟲𝟭~

"So what are you two doing here so early in the morning?" Lee Know asked. My stomach churned at the slight rasp in his voice.

"We were just thinking about some stuff up on the balcony, and then we decided we might as well train to get our minds off of it," Changbin said rather nonchalantly, removing the tape from his hands.

"Sounds fun. And I'm actually glad you are already here, Ava. I have some training we can do today, if you're up for it?"

"Sure. Sounds fun," I said softly.

Changbin got his stuff together again, getting up and going out of the training area, leaving me standing there in the awkward tension between myself and Lee Know. He took a few steps closer to me.

"Did you manage to sleep some more after I left you last night?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I got in another hour or two. I still ended up waking up early though."

"That's okay. I'm sure it'll be better tonight. And if you want me to stay with you when you fall asleep or something like that, you can just tell me."

I smiled at his suggestion, my heart going mushy. I nodded, considering it. He tilted his head and smiled, his hair falling into his face. He brushed it back, his smile replaced with a playful smirk.

"So, you ready for some fun?" he asked.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I thought we could do some hand-to-hand combat variations if you want?"

I nodded once more, putting down the towel I had picked up earlier. Lee Know took a few steps away from me and I in turn walked a bit closer to him, moving away from any nearby equipment. We got into fighting stances. I waited for him to attack first, which he did. And I was reminded why he was the best at hand-to-hand combat in the team. 

The first time he attacked, he knocked me off my feet, grabbing my hand just before I hit the ground. I winced when his fingers pressed against my bruised knuckles but covered it up by smiling at him as he pulled me back to my feet. But I had barely gotten my balance back when he was coming at me again. The longer we fought, the better I got at deflecting his blows, but that wasn't going to be enough. I had to be able to push him away for long enough to be able to get away. 

So the next time he came for me, I acted. I kicked towards his head, just missing. I threw a punch, managing to get a hit to his abdomen. Pain shot up my arm, and I shook my hand to get rid of it. However, he wasn't bothered by it at all. He just kept coming, and I was getting tired. Come on, you have to beat him, I repeated to myself.

So I scraped together all the strength I had left and fought back. I kicked, hitting him in the side. He was slightly stunned by the blow, and I took advantage of it, throwing a punch to his ribs. It hurt, but I pushed the pain aside. I threw another punch. And another. But he recovered quickly, grabbing my wrist. 

He spun us around, pushing me up against the wall. My back pressed against the rough surface as he held my wrist above my head. He towered over me, his warm breath fanning over my cheeks. I stared up at him, his eyes finding mine. We just stood there, staring at each other. 

His grip on my wrist relaxed slightly, but I didn't pull away. It was like his presence froze me in place. It was like everything around us held their breath along with me. My eyes scanned Lee Know's, the rich brown colour addicting to look at, drowning out everything else besides him.

He slowly brought his free hand up to my jaw, leaning in. His nose brushed up against mine, my eyes falling shut at the touch for a second. When my eyes opened again, I saw his eyes glued to my lips. His eyes moved back up to meet my gaze for a second, as if to ask for consent. I made a small nodding motion with my head, him taking it as the green light. 

He pressed his lips to mine, gently at first, but it quickly became more heated. His hand that was on my wrist slid down my arm, then down my side, finally settling on my waist. I wrapped my arm around his neck, fingers gently brushing into the short hair at the nape of his neck. He gently pressed against me with his lips, his hand doing the same on my waist, pushing me harder up against the wall. 

My grip tightened on his neck, but he started to pull away too soon for my taste. So I pulled him back, my other hand grabbing the collar of his shirt. I kissed him long and softly. The feeling of his lips on mine was like a mug of hot chocolate, the sweet warmth slipping into my body and heating me up from the inside out.

When we finally pulled away, both our breathing was shallow, and I saw a blush spread on his cheeks. I saw a hint of worry in Lee Know's gaze. At first I didn't know why, but when he took a step away from me, it became clear.

"You don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable, okay? If you do something I don't like, I'll tell you. So please, don't worry."

"Do you promise you'll tell me? Because I don't want to accidentally push a boundary and end up making you..."

He didn't finish the sentence, looking at the floor.

"End up making me have a breakdown?" I asked, reading his mind. He looked up at me, hesitating before nodding.

"I promise I'll tell you... you know what, come with me."

I picked up all my stuff, walking out of the training area. I walked up the stairs, hearing the stairs behind me squeak as Lee Know followed me. I went into my room, sensing his hesitation before he came in. I turned to find him hovering at my door frame, standing just behind the threshold.

"Come on, I have some things I want to tell you," I said, sitting down on my bed and patting the spot next to me.

Lee Know slowly came over to me, taking a seat quite far away from me. I moved a bit closer to him, smiling slightly at him when he looked at me. My knee pressed against his, but I made no effort to move my leg. I gently took his hand in mine, tracing my fingers over the veins on his hands as I thought of how to say what I wanted to say.

"Do you know why I'm not uncomfortable with you when you kiss me?" I asked after a while of silence. As I asked the question I looked up at Lee Know. He just looked at me with wide eyes.

"You... you were my first kiss. Damian and I ... we never kissed."

Lee Know's eyes widened to at least twice the size they were before. I saw guilt wash over him, making me squeeze his hand in an attempt to reassure him that he didn't have to feel guilty.

"I was your first kiss?" he asked softly. I nodded.

"Ava, you should have told me earlier. I could have made it ten times more special, had I known. I could have waited longer for you to be ready; I could have gone slower, I could have-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips against his cheek, shutting him up.

"Nothing you would have done would have made it more special for me. It was exactly how I dreamed it would be, and so, so much more. And I got to share it with you. I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss."

He still seemed distraught, even after my whole speech about how perfect it was. I squeezed his hand, but he wouldn't look at me.

"Do you regret it?" I asked softly. His gaze snapped up to meet mine.

"NO! No, not at all. It was the best day of my life. If I could do it over again, I wouldn't change a single thing."

"Exactly. We both enjoyed it, so don't let it bother you. I understand you're worried about me, but it's not necessary. When you're around me, I'm probably the most comfortable I've been with a guy since... well, forever. I love that I can share that with you. And..."

I took in a breath, getting my thoughts together.

"I know my mind is a bit all over the place right now and I'm not really so focused on all the people around me and we still have to hide how we feel about each other from the members, but when this is all over and everything has calmed down, I promise I'll spend as much time with you as humanly possible. Just so you can see how comfortable I really am with you."

Lee Know seemed a bit more at ease as I said that. I gently folded him into a hug, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my head into his neck. His hands gently rested on my lower back. I could feel his breath ghosting over my neck. I was completely content, until I heard the floor boards at my door squeak. I slowly pulled my face away from Lee Know's neck to find Han standing there. He looked worried. I pulled away from Lee Know, his attention turning to Han as well.

"Ava, are you okay?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I just needed a hug."

I smiled at Han, trying my best not to give anything away. Luckily, he just gave me a smile and left. I turned my attention back to Lee Know, who seemed like he had something to say. But before I could ask what it was, I heard Han calling from the hallway, saying that breakfast was ready.

I got up off my bed, but Lee Know grabbed my wrist before I got very far. I turned around to face him again.

"I still wanted to tell you that you fought very well this morning. I'm very happy with your progress."

I smiled at his praise, a warm feeling buzzing inside me. I wanted to say something witty and smart in response, but before I could think of anything, Hyunjin was standing at my door, asking whether or not I was coming down for breakfast. So I answered him that I was, settling for a smile sent in Lee Know's direction before I pulled away and walked with Hyunjin towards the table downstairs. 

I took my usual seat next to Changbin, catching a glimpse of the suspicious smirk Felix sent my way. I ignored it, but my stomach still churned at the thought of him knowing something. That's not your main worry right now, I said in my mind. Right now, you have to focus on not getting killed by the guy who broke you once before.

I stayed silent most of the meal, just listening to all the conversations going on around me. When someone asked me a question, I would answer with one or two words, after which I went back to silence. When almost everyone was done eating, Chan took my hand, my eyes drifting to meet his.

"You okay?" he whispered. I nodded at him, leaning in a bit to be able to speak soft enough for the others not to hear, but for him to still be able to understand me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things."

"Is there something you're willing to talk about? Because you seem pretty off."

"Not really, mainly it's just worries about Damian."

Chan gave my hand a squeeze, a small smile spreading on his lips. He seemed as though he had more he wanted to say, but I was standing up and heading to the sink before he could say anything else. I quickly washed my plate and utensils before heading over to the stairs, sending Chan a look to tell him that we could continue the conversation later.

...

That night after dinner, I stood at the sliding door that led outside, staring out into the inky black surrounding the house. Most of the boys went up to their rooms, the only two left behind being Felix and Chan. From what I could hear, Felix was making himself something to drink. I sensed Chan's presence moving closer to me, making me turn to him as he came to stand next to me. I had just opened my mouth to say something when he spoke.

"If you don't want to talk about Damian, that's fine. I just wanted to let you know that if need be, you can come talk to me. I might not understand what you're going through, but I'll try my best."

I smiled at Chan, genuinely appreciative of the support he was giving me, even though I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it. I gave him a hug before turning back to the glass, my eyes having adjusted slightly to the pitch-black night outside. Just when I wanted to go to my room, my eye caught movement in the trees. I flinched away from the glass.

"Something's out there," I whispered. Chan took my hand.

"Don't worry, it's just the agents I hired."

I looked up at Chan, a crease forming between my brows.

"Wait, you hired more agents?"

Chan nodded.

"Why? You guys can protect me just fine."

"I know we can, but for whatever reason, we might not be able to when it's most necessary. I just want to be prepared for in case anything happens."

Another smile spread on my lips, and I wrapped Chan in a hug.

"Thank you. For everything. For taking care of me from the first moment you met me. Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome," Chan said, giving me a smile as I pulled away.

I gave him one last quick hug before going up to my bedroom, suddenly tired. But as soon as I sank in underneath the covers, my stomach was churning, and I knew something was coming. Something big. And I had no idea what it was, or if we would be ready for it.

---------------

A/N

heyy guys :)

sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger on the previous chapter, but i hope this chapter made up for it. i didn't think for a second that my own writing could make me feel single, but it really does... :/ 

anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it and can't wait to see you in the next one <3