~𝟰𝟵~

(Third person, Felix's perspective)

Felix watched the stairs intently from his spot in the kitchen, resting his hands on the island and leaning onto them. He had heard the fight upstairs, and even though he knew he should probably not be waiting to find out what happened, he was worried. It sounded like Lee Know and Hyunjin were the ones fighting. He saw Ava come down the stairs, giving him a half-hearted smile before walking past him, going out the sliding door and onto the sand towards the ocean.

A few moments after her, Lee Know walked past Felix, not even paying him any attention. He breezed past and out the sliding door as well, but stopped at the edge of the porch, taking a seat there. Then Hyunjin came down the stairs. He seemed distraught. He walked towards the hallway attached to his room, but Felix took his wrist, stopping him. When Hyunjin turned to him, Felix saw for the first time how utterly miserable he looked.

Felix didn't ask any questions, instead just leading Hyunjin to the couch. He sat down next to him, waiting in silence. He would sit with him the entire day if he had to. He just knew Hyunjin needed his support in that moment. He had never not been there for him, and he wasn't about to break that record. He sat next to him, staring into space, not expecting anything to be said. Hyunjin actually startled him when he spoke.

"I've messed everything up," he said sadly, running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sure that's not-"

"I almost kissed Geneviève."

Felix was stunned into silence. This can't be true, he thought. Hyunjin would never. Unless...

"You're not telling me everything, are you?"

Hyunjin wouldn't look at Felix, focused only on playing with his ring, twisting it around his finger. The exact same ring Felix had, Hyunjin having bought it for himself and Felix a year back.

"How long have we been friends, Felix?" Hyunjin finally asked after a long pause.

"About four years."

"And I can tell you anything, right? Without any judgement?"

"Of course."

Hyunjin hesitated, still playing with his ring. He accidentally dropped it, the metal gliding across the hardwood floors into the kitchen. He ran his hands through his hair again.

"You didn't kiss her, did you?" Felix asked.

Hyunjin shook his head.

"Truth is, she tried to kiss me. One afternoon, when she was waiting for Lee Know to come back to the dorms so she could take him out for lunch. I had just come out of the training room, and she was standing in the kitchen. She just stared at me, like she was seeing me for the first time. It freaked me out, so I went towards the stairs, but she stopped me. She just randomly stood up on her tiptoes and tried to kiss me. I pushed her away and went up to my room... and I haven't told anyone ever since it happened. Not even Lee Know."

Felix sat in silence, not really sure of what to say. Then it dawned on him, he had no idea how the scene Hyunjin just described and the scene a few minutes prior were connected.

"How does this connect to your fight with Lee Know Hyung?"

Hyunjin looked up at Felix, the sadness in his eyes like a flare sent up into the sky. It was clear as day, and yet Felix had no idea why Hyunjin looked as sad as he did. He wracked his brain trying to think of a reason. He tried thinking back to what was said in the fight, or the little that he could hear of what was said.

One sentence kept running through his mind over and over. She's not yours. Those three words seemed so meaningless. Until they weren't. He realised the emotion behind them. And he realised his best friend who was still sitting silently next to him had not only said it to try to protect Ava.

Felix looked at Hyunjin with wide eyes. Hyunjin wouldn't make eye contact with him. And everything started making sense to Felix. Like thick fog was being lifted from his thoughts.

"You like Ava."

It came out as more of a statement than a question, but Felix still noticed Hyunjin go stiff next to him.

"You like her. As more than a friend. That's why you were fighting with Lee Know Hyung. You were trying to keep Ava single."

"No, it's not like that. I don't like her. I just... find her attractive."

Hyunjin sounded almost embarrassed to say it.

"How do you know? How do you know you haven't completely fallen for her?"

"Because there's no spark."

Felix furrowed his brows at Hyunjin's answer.

"When I went to talk to Ava before the fight started, I took her wrist in my hand. There was no spark. No tingle underneath my skin. And whenever I look at her and we make eye contact, there's never that nervousness from when you like someone. There's no spark. Not like she has with Lee Know Hyung."

Felix wanted to argue, but he saw Hyunjin's point. Whenever Lee Know smirked at Ava, she would get this pinkish tint to her cheeks. He had seen it with his own eyes. And whenever they looked at each other, the rest could almost feel the tension passing between the two. Felix got the idea Lee Know and Ava weren't going to stay just friend for very long.

"I was just trying to protect her. Or maybe I was just trying to ease my guilty conscience. But instead, I might have let my secret slip and might have messed up the relationship with two of my best friends."

Hyunjin sighed, leaning back on the couch, and dropping his head back, black hair hanging over the edge of the couch. Felix gently put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing is messed up. I'm sure of it. And whether your secret is out or not, I think it's a good idea to tell them both the entire story. So they can hear your side of it rather than drawing their own conclusions. Not that I think they will. It's just so it gets out in a controlled environment and in a way that you can control the outcome."

Hyunjin looked at Felix and nodded. But Felix could still see the hesitation and reservation in his eyes. And it worried Felix. More than these things usually did. His gut told him something big was coming. He just hoped the team was ready for it, whatever it was.

(First person, Ava's perspective)

I walked out onto the sand, the sound of the ocean pulling me in and clearing my mind. I sat down near the water, closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath. What the hell just happened in there, I asked myself. I sat there on the sand, in the shade of the trees looming behind me until the sun was safely tucked away behind the blue horizon, the sky painted in vibrant shades of pink and orange.

I watched the water, and the longer I watched, the more my mind wandered to what had happened and how it made me feel. I was confused. And angry. And...sad. I knew for a fact Hyunjin was hiding something, I just had no idea what. But I guessed I could try asking him about it when he had calmed down. I was angry at Lee Know for not keeping his cool and staying civilised. But then I tried seeing it from his perspective. He was trying to protect me, I thought.

It made me feel slightly better. And I felt sad because of what Lee Know and I had said before the whole fight happened. I wanted so badly to just be able to give him what he wanted and protect the relationship between us even though it hadn't even started yet. But I felt like I was keeping this massive secret from him, which I was. It annoyed the hell out of me that I couldn't just tell him outright. And it made me think, why couldn't I just tell him outright?

We hadn't heard any news about his whereabouts, and even if he was still out there, it wouldn't hinder me from telling the boys about... my brain cut off the thought, not allowing me to conjure up the memories of what happened three years ago. I stood up, walking back to the house. I was slightly surprised when I saw Lee Know on one of the deckchairs, looking sad. As I stepped onto the deck, he looked up, giving me a sad smile.

"Why did you push Hyunjin up against the wall?" I asked. He looked confused.

I didn't particularly know why I asked the question or what answer I was looking for, but when Lee Know spoke, my heart fluttered in my chest.

"I was trying to protect you. I didn't like the way he was talking to you and I guess it just... happened. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't try to fight your fights for you, it's just-"

"It's okay."

"I know, and I - wait, what? No, it's not okay. I'm supposed to be a grown man who can control his impulses, and yet for some reason I just couldn't. But it's definitely not okay."

"But it is. You did exactly what I would have done. I mean the exact same thing happened to me. I got so jealous just because Geneviève got a little too friendly with you. I should have known better. But now the same thing has happened to you. And I realise now that it's normal. It's not nice, but it's normal. And I really appreciate you feeling that way about me. Feeling you need to protect me. So thank you."

I bent down and gave him a hug, feeling him gently wrap his arms around me and pull me in tighter. After a second or two, I pulled away and went inside. I saw Hyunjin sitting on the couch next to Felix, head leaned back. As I walked past the couch, Hyunjin lifted his head and looked at me with sad eyes. I gave him a small smile before moving up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me.

...

After I took a shower and got dressed, I heard a knock on my door. I quickly got up off my bed and opened it, finding Felix standing there.

"Oh, hey Felix."

"Hey, Ava," he said. I frowned at him, him not sounding as cheerful as usual. I welcomed him into my room, taking a seat on the bed. He wouldn't sit down next to me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I'm worried about Hyunjin. He told me something and..."

He made eye contact with me and stopped, his words empty and hanging in the air.

"You know what, never mind."

He turned and moved to my door. I stood up and went after him, trying to stop him.

"No, wait. What did he say? Why are you worried?"

He stopped at my door, making me stop as well. He turned around to face me.

"Just talk to him as soon as possible, please. He has secrets that he needs to get off his chest, and you're the only other person he'll talk to about it."

What Felix said made me worry, but he was walking down the hall before I could ask anything else. Seems it's time to face Lee Know and Hyunjin again, I thought to myself, squaring my shoulders and heading downstairs.

I found Hyunjin on the same place he was when I went upstairs, playing with his ring. I cleared my throat, making him look up at me, and dropping his ring in the process, the metal sliding across the floor to come to rest at my feet. I picked it up and walked over to him, handing it back to him.

"Where are the rest?" I asked, realising how silent the house became.

"The rest all went out for groceries and to explore, besides Lee Know. I don't think he's come inside yet."

I looked out at the dark deck outside, barely being able to make out Lee Know's form on the deck chair.

"Okay, good. Then we can talk without distractions," I said, sitting down next to him. He seemed to tense up at my presence next to him.

"Felix said he's worried about you. And now I'm getting worried too. He mentioned something about you wanting to tell me something."

I could see a crease form between Hyunjin's brows at the mention of Felix. He didn't think Felix would talk.

"Felix didn't say anything, I promise. He just said he's worried."

The crease between his brows eased up slightly, and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. I just stayed silent, giving him time to form his sentence and to decide if he really wanted to tell me. He took in a breath before looking out in front of him.

"I... I almost kissed Geneviève."

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A/N

heyy guys :)

this was quite a doozy of a chapter and a lot happened... hope you guys enjoyed it :) if you have any questions or just random things you think will happen, you are welcome to drop your thoughts in the comments. i enjoy reading all you guys have to say ;P

anyway, guess i'll see you guys in the next one <3