Chapter 11

I could not be happier, you guys are amazing <3 I'm sorry for the wait, I completely forgot about the fic. I got a message on my msg board and this is for you happy early birthday Ahsoka__ 💜💚💙💛❤️____________________________________________________________________________________________Ahsoka's POVI looked down at my hands. I still couldn't feel. I wasn't crying, or screaming. It felt empty. I felt empty. I couldn't touch anything. I was numb. Unmovable. They tried to get me to stand, I couldn't. I didn't see anything. Just Lux pulling me back, his voice reassuring me it would be alright. I ignored.

"Ahsoka?" Obi-Wan's voice said calmly, "We've arrived."Arrived where? There was no place to go. Just the darkness. The feeling of being detached from the world. Like there's nothing left. There's no Jedi Order. "Ahsoka, we need to get Padme in," his voice turned more serious now and I looked up at him.I slowly nodded and stood up. I felt tired, my legs were heavy. I wobbled on the spot then clutched the wall. I took a few steps forward."Come on," Obi-Wan said gently and we walked to Padme.Her face was pale, full of sweat and her stomach bulged against the shirt. She lay on the bed, sweating from exhaustion, her arms slumped on either side of her.The baby...Obi-Wan picked her up as Lux took my hand and led me out. I only noticed the pitch black sky and the light at the end of the landing bridge. I dizzily pushed the gurney towards the light and eventually, after a lot of exhausted dragging, to a medical room.My vision was fading and the sound of the buzzing medical droid seemed so far away. I was pulled into someone's arms and after a lot of thinking, realised I was awkwardly hugging Lux and he kept his arms around me, supporting me as I stood.Padme was laying on the medical bed, half conscious and looking even more exhausted than I felt. Her skin was stretched and white and her face glistened with sweat. Her eyebrows were knitted together and she was murmuring under her breath. The lump on her belly was huge, and the droids stood beside her with tools stacked on a tiny table.Lux pulled me out of the room."They will operate on her," he whispered soothingly into my ear, " You can rest for a while. I'll get you into your quarters as soon as I can."I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The odd light in the corner was comforting and I fell asleep.I woke up after what seemed like hours, to Lux shaking me."Ahsoka they've done it!" He said, "But Padme... She..."I instantly became alert."Padme!" I cried, shocked.I ran into the room and gasped.Padme looked like a ghost. My eyes teared up at the sight of her frail weak bony structure, struggling to take breaths. Each came out raspy and forced."Padme, it'll be okay," I half sobbed, kneeling beside her bed."Ahsoka..." She croaked, "Anakin....""He's alright, just don't worry!" I pleaded.I didn't want to lose her too. This nightmarish day could not get worse. I cried silently staring into her eyes.I remembered how she mentored me, supported me, guided me through my Jedi training. She was the reason I met Lux. I had grown so fond of her and had sworn to protect her on numerous occasions.And now I had failed.She was going to die and there was nothing I could do."Padme," I stroked her hair, "You're gonna wake up in a better place, I promise."Obi Wan knelt next to me, "I'll keep the twins safe for you."I gasped, forgetting all about the baby...or babies."Twins?" I looked up at the medical droid who held two sleeping babies in each hand.The bright light enhanced Padme's complexion."Obi Wan...there's still good in him..." She forced, "I know...there's still....."Her voice faded and her eyes shut. Her face drifted even further into her medical bed. Her last breath passed and she collapsed into darkness.For a minute, the room was silent, apart from the hum of the droids. I was too shocked to move. I couldn't comprehend what was happening in front of me. My eyelid felt heavy and I slumped on the ground, feeling only the pound in my head and the cold metal floor beneath me as everything passed into darkness.

I woke up. I was laying in an empty room, with only a blanket beneath me. I ran outside of my dark room and realised where we were. We were on a base in an asteroid. The base was held up from the ground and platforms held it together. Rocks and were floating around the asteroid and the ground looked uneven and fragile.

I was still wearing my burnt and torn gear but suddenly, the back of my head, where I remembered my padawan braids to be, felt heavy. My stomach felt empty as if something inside me was falling forever. I couldn't hide the sadness I felt. Padme seemed so far away, just a memory.

I walked through the cold, desolate platform, seeing no one, until I reached a section which was alight inside. I walked in and found in the bright room, was a table in the middle with seats around it. Obi-Wan was seated on the top of the table and master Yoda, Senator Bail Organa and Lux Bonteri were seated on each side.

I almost cried when I saw them.

"Young one," Yoda smiled and gestured me to sit down.

I didn't move from where I stood.

"Master Yoda... you're still..." I couldn't bring myself to say alive.

I felt broken. I never thought what would happen in the end of the war. I definitely didn't picture it to be this sad. Looking around me, these were all the survivors we had. And all this, from the inside.

"Indeed, this is all we have left," Senator Organa said, as if reading my thoughts.

I could sense the lingering mood in the room. It felt almost bittersweet.

"We need to keep what's left too," Master Kenobi said, "Luke and Leia need to be kept safe."

"And what about... Skywalker," It took all my willpower to keep my face straight.

As soon as Skywalker was mentioned, the mood seemed to get even darker.

"He's dead."

Lux's voice felt so new to me. In a way it was comforting even though the words were something else. I didn't look at him but I knew he was staring at me.

"I will look after Leia," Senator Organa decided, "Me and my wife have always fancied a girl. She will be loved with us."

"And the boy?" I asked.

"To his family, in Tatooine, we shall take him," Yoda looked around for objections.

"I will take him and I will guide him," Kenobi said, "I know Owen Lars would be happy to take him."

"What about you Ahsoka," Senator Organa said.

"I... don't know." I replied.

What was I to do? I had no purpose anymore. I never did after I left the Republic.

"You can't stay on Polis Mariss," Lux said, "This is just a wasteland."

"And I won't, but where else do I go?" I finally looked at him.

After everything I had seen, Lux's emerald eyes were easily the most beautiful thing I had set my eyes upon since. After all we had been through, his never lost hope. He still hadn't given up. He still held his ground, his hope, his caring... for me.

"Come back to Onderon with me," our eyes never broke connection.

"Onderon is a neutral system," Kenobi thought for a while, "Going back there would be smart."

"You can stay with me," Lux continued, "Saw would love that."

"I..." I couldn't find the words, "I guess... that could work..."

Lux's eyes wavered but then fixed onto mine. I sent a clear message, We'll Talk Later.

"Then it's decided," Kenobi got up and walked towards me, "A word, Ahsoka?"

I followed him outside into the cold. He rested on the railing of the platform a few feet away. I did the same beside him.

"How have you been doing," I asked him.

His eyes were darker and his hair longer. The dark circles under his eyes indicated he had gotten less sleep than me. His attire was still burnt from Mustafar, just as mine was.

"I've been better."

"You've known him for longer," I sighed, "This must be worse for you.""I loved him more than he realised," Kenobi turned his face away from me, "He always blamed me for everything; his mother, his training, his title and now... Padme."I looked down at my feet. "He really cared about you," I smiled sadly, "But his own hatred... Or his love for Padme... drove him insane.""You were right," Obi-Wan turned to face me and his eyes glistened with tears."Master Kenobi...""You were right. I should have listened to you!" Obi Wan cried, "You always knew what was best for him. If not for me... Maybe him and Padme would still be alive!"Tears fell out of my own eyes and I wrapped my arms around him ferociously."Master Kenobi..." I sobbed as he held me, "We all did everything we could. It was his own mistake. Please just don't blame yourself for this!"I cried into his shoulder, feeling worse than ever. It was my fault. I left him. He needed me and I left him. I should have gone with him on the mission to free Palpatine. I wasn't there for him and Palpatine got him instead.I failed him as an apprentice. I failed him as a friend.He failed me as a father."Ahsoka?" Obi-Wan's hold loosened as I heard Lux behind me.I slowly left Obi-Wan's embrace and wiped my tears with my arms."I'll give you two some privacy," Obi-Wan's voice was like broken glass.He left the platform and Lux ran to me and pulled me into a hug."Ahsoka, I love you," he whispered as I buried my face into his neck, "And I'm sorry for everything that has happened. Whatever you need, I'm here."

"Can we really go back to Onderon and just forget this?" I murmered, "Can we really live a normal life?"

"If you'll have me," Lux cupped my chin with his hand, "Then we'll try."

He leaned closer and our lips connected. After a long time, something warm grew inside me. My emptiness faded and my hope resided. I cherished the feeling of Lux's soft lips and put all my passion, my sadness, my hope into the kiss.

Maybe things could get better. All that had happened was heart shattering, but I had Lux left. One ally, one friend... one hope. I was prepared to leave everything behind to live a new life with Lux. I imagined a future, once it had seemed impossible. Now it was closer than ever. I was confused of so many things but dead certain of one. I was in love with Senator Lux Bonteri.

After an eternity, we pulled apart.

"Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments," I chuckled.

"Good thing you're not one," Lux smirked.

"Are you offending me, Senator?" I laughed and he held me closer.

"You are the most amazing thing that ever happened to me," He kissed my forehead, "Now come on, let's go back and get our shuttle fixed up."

We seperated but our hands laced together.

"We've got a long life to live."